The calm before the storm can somehow last just as long as the storm sometimes.
For all of 1997, the WWF has felt like it was in the precipice of this big shift in ideas and direction. As they spend the entire year in second place and struggling with death, controversy and an identity crisis, there seems to be a sense of “well, it can’t get much worse!” There are positives to look at as 1998 draws near. That said, it’s still a time of uneasiness.
What better to quell things than a spotlight show for your temperamental top star’s raunchy new group? That sounds awfully familiar to how 1997 started in the other company, doesn’t it? Remember how that show turned out?
What interesting bookends.
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 148: WWF D-GENERATION X-IN YOUR HOUSE
Written on 4/11/23
ALL THE OPENING STUFF: The DX theme plays as a woman says sensual things about Shawn Michaels and Triple H while a voiceover guy talks about their matches. It’s not garbage trucks in the snow, but it’s an inauspicious start. The show is still being sponsored by Karate Fighters and Vince is still shelling out big money for pyro. There’s an oversized “DX” at the entrance. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler welcome us in Springfield, MA. There are four titles on the line, a returning Double J against the Dead Man and all kinds of other fun.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT FINALS- Brian Christopher vs Taka Michinoku
BEFORE THE BELL: Why does Christopher have Droz’s future music? It’s very ill fitting. The bracket shows the rest of the scrubs in the field. Taka gets a great pop and equals it with his charisma. Brian wipes his butt with a Taka sign that he ripped up. JR and King’s chemistry is off the charts right away. I’d say all four are in the MVP hunt early.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-Jerry’s jokes are funny while not offensive for once. They wrestle a good Southern style by Brian and a fast-paced comeback and huge springboard plancha by Taka. A title taunt afterwards makes him the solo MVP at the moment.
-Brian busts his lip badly on a missed dive into the rail. He doesn’t skip a beat, though, and takes all of Taka’s shit very well including a great moonsault to the outside. Jerry goes to check on his son.
-Great Skull Crushing Finale finale by the heel to turn the tide and he really lands a dropkick to the back of Taka’s head as well as a “Rocker Dropper” that Billy Gunn will soon steal. Christopher’s mouth is now REALLY bleeding.
-Three huge slaps and some martial arts taunting might make me switch to Christopher as MVP. He gets too cocky and misses the Tennessee Jam. He pays for it right away.
WINNER: Taka Michinoku wins the title in 12:01 with the Michinoku Driver
FINAL WORD: What a great WWF-style cruiserweight opener. It’s all downhill from here, but the upward trajectory was initially there.
FILLING TIME: Pat Patterson, Gerald Brisco and Tony Garea present him the new belt and some Japanese press take picture. King is forlorn. This oddly transitions into the next match.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: Los Boricuas w/Savio Vega vs The Disciples of Apocalypse
BEFORE THE BELL: All of the Boricuas sing their theme HORRIBLY. It’s like Ashlee Simpson dancing in place bad (and there’s an infamous SNL performances reference challenge). More gang shit is recapped from Raw. DOA sans Crush ride out. His absence is blamed on Kane. It’s notable that Savio is not wrestling and he’s forced to the back by Tim White.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-Chainz and Miguel start and it’s probably as good as you’ll get with these six guys. Jesus and 8 Ball confirm that.
-Skull versus Jose is basically a competition to see who is worse and Jose wins it and becomes the current LVP. People continue to chant “shave your back” to Miguel. He seems to legit hurt himself on a second rope axe handle during the Skull heat section. Nobody from medical checks on him. That’s the Attitude Era!
-Savio tries to take Miguel’s place and tag in, but the ref refuses it. This allows Chainz to hot tag. In the middle of a scrum, Miguel reveals he was playing possum. Fuck, the Boricuas boomed me.
WINNERS: Los Boricuas win in 7:58 when Jose Estrada pins Chainz after a Miguel Perez flipping senton
FINAL WORD: It wasn’t the most offensive thing in terms of action, but the jury is still out based on the cultural ramifications of it all.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: FOUR ROUND TOUGHMAN BOUT- Marc Mero w/Sable vs Butterbean
BEFORE THE BELL: Dok Hendrix interviews a mean looking Butterbean and his team. He competed 24 hours beforehand and he makes a few natural comments. Michael Cole interviews Sable after a recap video of Mero’s Golden Glove highlights and her own mistreatment. She held up the title at Butterbean’s fight. Mero interrupts and browbeats her. Everyone plays their part well. Mero and team enter first. Butterbean enters to Bam Bam Bigelow’s old theme. Is the track labelled “fat, bald vibe”? He gets a very good response and he’s all business even in a work. The tale of the tape is shockingly even. King is funny claiming his mouthpiece is just food.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-The crowd starts shitting on the action AKA Mero ducking through the ropes right away and chanting for Sable. He’s knocked to the floor. The round ends uneventfully, but there’s a pull apart after the bell.
-Round 2 has Mero coming out and choking Butterbean with tape as the ref is distracted. Bean is awkwardly blinded and hit in the ribs from behind. He’s trying to sell and it looks shitty. It isn’t WrestleMania 2, though. The crowd is becoming restless, so Marc hits a dropkick at the bell.
-Round 3 has Butterbean fired up, asking for punches and getting shoot tired in a worked fight. Mero takes a KO punch, but gets saved by the bell. He’s still out and his cornerman wakes him with an ice bath. I love that they are trying to keep thrown and landed punches stats.
-Round 4 starts with another KO punch, but a low blow and stool attack ends it.
WINNER: Butterbean by DQ in 9:58
FINAL WORD: I never like these worked boxing matches, but it wasn’t as bad as others in the past.
FILLING TIME: Butterbean RUNS after Mero in quite a sight. A sign reads “L.O.D. is O.L.D.” Some nightmare inducing music plays and an even worse visual joins it with the Artist Formerly Known as Goldust and Luna. The pic will make you get it. He reads Green Eggs and Ham and it’s channel changing, LVP shit with these fake, shocking antics and awful delivery. Luna randomly pushes him down, calls him scum and pulls him back on a leash. This gives DOA a different meaning.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: TAG TITLE MATCH- The Legion od Doom vs The New Age Outlaws (Champs)
BEFORE THE BELL: Michael Cole interviews the challengers and they show the Outlaws winning the belts two weeks ago on Raw. Animal yells and Hawk calls them Mr. Dogg and Mr. Ass and talks about his boogers. Yep, O.L.D. He even says “WHAT A BOOGER” meaning we had back-to-back LVP promos. The Outlaws’ music is in full effect, but it’s hardly over yet. Dogg does a Jurassic Park bit and they try to hightail to the back and enter again. Billy’s bandana around his forehead is just enough of a bitchcake look to count. They are forced to the ring by officials and beaten up by LOD right away.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-JR is really trying to get LOD over as “American originals.” Dogg is beaten up and constantly cowardly.
-Decent double clothesline off the apron by Hawk and powerbomb by Animal. Billy takes a rough landing on the steel steps. The champs try to leave again, but get stopped. They turn the tide with a low blow and two UNPROTECTED cooler shots to Hawk. It’s Styrofoam, but it’s full and thusly counts.
-During the Hawk heat section, there’s a bleep after a knee drop. The editing is so odd. An abbreviated beatdown leads to an Animal hot tag and usual offense. The Doomsday Device is set up while the ref is distracted and Henry Godwinn runs in to land an UNPROTECTED bucket shot. This rivalry will never die. The ref turns to see Hawk smack Road Dogg twice UNPROTECTED with the bucket.
WINNERS: The New Age Outlaws by DQ in 10:33
FINAL WORD: IT was actually fine untul the typical Legion of Doom BS that stretches the story too far.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: BOOT CAMP MATCH- Triple H w/Chyna vs Sgt Slaughter
BEFORE THE BELL: Oh goody. A video has Michael Cole talking swift leadership actions and Slaughter’s history. The Cobra Clutch is put over huge. Cole interviews Hunter looking real JACKED. He has a bag of props about Sarge being old. It’s a lame promo trying to be edgy ending with a peace pipe smoking line (pointing to his cock). Some girls shriek for Hunter during his entrance. This is odd shit. The intercut video live is seizure inducing. I’d rather look at Kanye West in a bottle costume (reference challenge still rocking and rolling). Jim Cornette interviews Sarge and cuts a much better promo than Helmsley. He enters to Kurt Angle/Patriot’s theme and gets an okay reaction. HHH’s crotch chops are awkwardly pronounced.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-Methodical attacks with the crop and a gutbuster. You’d think Hunter is the guy here, but he’s really not so far. He does do something I’ve never seen before: he sells the dick on a whip into the steps.
-More whips and attacks with a belt. The Cobra Clutch is blocked and the crowd pops for Trips. The ref strays outside for reasons and Slaughter does his big turnbuckle spot. It’s followed by a weak throw and bump into the steps. Mark Yeaton, the timekeeper, fucking eats the bell trying to keep it from Hunter and Sarge fucks up a clothesline counter.
-Slow, plodding action from both men. A high spot will pick it back up, but then awkwardness like Slaughter being unable to pick Hunter up and badly falling messes it up.
-A sleeper is turned into the Cobra Clutch, but Chyna breaks it up and KO’s the ref. She gets a chair and eats powder to the face to a big pop, but Triple H lands a boot shot. A second one misses and the Cobra is locked in again. On the third arm raise, Chyna punt kicks Sarge low. This is somehow still going on. Thankfully, it ends shortly thereafter (even though Sarge has the nerve to kick his legs at three like he was gonna do something).
WINNER: Triple H in 17:39 with the Pedigree on a chair
FINAL WORD: I’d rather go camping only with a boot. Triple H is just not it right now and Slaughter shouldn’t have to be.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: Jeff Jarrett vs The Undertaker
BEFORE THE BELL: Cole interviews Jarrett and his outfit I’ve never understood. He calls him “Mark” and proceeds to be as milquetoast as can be. I love that theme, but Jarrett’s voiceover over it is seriously awful. It’s an overall LVP presentation right away. There’s something about him coming back at an In Your House in December. GONG and a very stressed-looking Undertaker walks out, seemingly selling the Kane story. It’s a good touch and JR is already calling Taker an icon and all-timer.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-Double J sneaks punches in, but gets put into the corner and unloaded on with MVP intensity. Jarrett fucks it up by turning away from Old School and making it look like shit. He answers with a chop block and boredom.
-These two just aren’t compatible and I have no idea why this was even an idea. Thankfully, the lights go out and Kane’s music starts. He’s so fucking cool. He enters the ring. Jeff eggs him on and takes a chokeslam taking a DQ.
WINNER: Jeff Jarrett by DQ in 6:54
FINAL WORD: Yeah yeah, who cares? Let’s watch this post-match stuff. Just as bad as the Boot Camp match, but shorter.
FILLING TIME: The brothers come face-to-face and Kane slaps Taker. The crowd goes nuts, the fire pyro shoots off and the song plays again. Taker won’t respond. It’s a good punk out and mind games. Jarrett attacks again and tries the Figure Four, but takes another chokeslam that he messes the timing up on. A conflicted Taker leaves and Jarrett gets his official win announcement and hand raised. Even the ref waves him off. What a fucking plebian. In the Milton Bradley section of the crowd, Cole interviews Mark Henry and he’ll finally be back in a week. He’s more naturally here and picks Stone Cold to win against his future stablemates.
MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: IC TITLE MATCH- The Rock w/The Nation of Domination vs Stone Cold Steve Austin (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: The Rock is here and the pre-match video shows how full of himself he now is and it’s to perfection. Austin stuns Nation members over and over. The title was stolen and the infamous 3:16 beeper moment happens here. They are already gold together. Austin is shown driving into the arena drinking a beer and claims it’s “not a race or color thing; it’s a me kicking your ass thing.” Incredible. Dok Hendrix interviews the Nation and Rock refers to himself as the People’s Champ for the first time. He’s so hated on his entrance and there are deafening “Rocky Sucks” chants. Some more quick mic time and the glass breaking blows the roof off. Austin drives the truck out and he’s the coolest dude on the planet climbing on top of the truck and into the ring. The fight is on and he battles all four. D-Lo is backdropped onto the truck and stunned on top. MVP MVP MVP MVP. Give D-Lo some credit, too. The bell finally rings.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-The energy in the building is insane. Austin hits the Thesz Press and wails away. You can see Austin being a little slower than before, but it doesn’t matter. D-Lo is dead on top of the truck.
-Kama protects Faarooq with an errant chair shot against the truck. Austin’s vest is still on and he gets punched and kicked down by Rocky. The People’s Elbow only getting a two count is fascinating and interesting.
-There’s a 3:16 chant, the elbow pad is removed, there’s a double bird and the second elbow misses. Thanks to a heel distraction, Austin accidentally stuns Mike Chioda. A brass knuckles punch is blocked and the Stunner lands. A second ref runs out.
WINNER: Stone Cold Steve Austin retains in 5:33 with the Stunner
FINAL WORD: What a beautiful harbinger of things to come. You can see and smell the money. Speaking of smell, Rocky smells like the Rundown here: he’s a star and he’s not going anywhere.
MATCH NUMBER EIGHT: WWF TITLE MATCH- Ken Shamrock vs Shawn Michaels w/DX (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: The main event hype focuses on Ken’s intensity and tapping out Rock, Bret, Vader and HBK. Last Monday, Shawn was in a wheelchair with a lollipop getting his “ankle” turned 360 degrees in a bit. You can see he’s strung out and they have free reign to do anything they want. There’s an awkward beatdown of Slaughter and Jim Neidhart (with a weird back tattoo). This leads to a Shamrock save and making Shawn tap again while Hunter is stuck in the Clutch. Cornette interviews Ken and he talks up his PPV experience in a stilted promo. The mood music follows Ken until his entrance. Every match had a one-hour time limit, by the way. JR interviews Michaels from the commentary table and he makes bad jokes about respect, gas and JR’s fatness (calling him Girth Brooks). Now, what about Chris Gaines performing while Garth Brooks acts (and that will end our reference challenge this week)? Shawn is wearing his iconic black and green gear. He gets a wildly mixed response. Girls are SCREAMING. JR points out Earl Hebner as the ref.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-It’s fast paced, hard hitting and there’s overexaggerated selling early. It’s exactly what you’d expect. There’s a great spot with Chyna providing a distraction, but Shawn still getting punched and spraying water on a bump.
-Lawler foreshadows the Hart Foundation’s exit not being totally true by addressing rumors Owen Hart is in an asylum somewhere.
-It’s been all Ken six minutes in and he hits both DX members with a noggin knocker. It takes grabbing the ref and a low blow to turn the tide. Both men have a rough landing from a top rope crossbody from the ring to the floor. The heels gang up and Chyna even slams Shamrock.
-It’s a pretty tame match for Shawn working as the main event heel and using his cronies for heat. Shamrock gets a good roil up near fall in-between getting grounded with headlocks and sleepers.
-Ken fires up and badly snaps his head missing the ropes on a whip. They recover nicely with a sitout powerbomb. Earl is an LVP again, looking out of place and awkward as usual to get distracted for more cheating to happen.
-After an elbow lands, Sweet Chin Music is ducked and the belly-to-belly goes right into the finish because Hunter runs in as soon as the ankle is teased and grabbed.
WINNER: Ken Shamrock by DQ in 18:28
FINAL WORD: What’s with shows themed to hot groups having shitty DQ endings to their title matches? At least this match was good.
BEFORE WE GO: Hunter beats up Ken while HBK celebrates on the apron. Then, he gets BLASTED from behind and flies through the Spanish announce table. The culprit was OWEN HART and he rips Shawn apart until Trips makes the save and Owen escapes through the crowd. It’s a hot, real angle. Shawn has a bloody nose. Shamrock is officially announced as the winner and forced to the back by refs. JR talks about Owen’s mental state and Michaels is announced as the champ. He taunts and poses to music before the replay of Owen’s AWESOME attack. HBK says “I’m the man” as we sign off.
THE LAST IMAGE: Shawn Michaels, Triple H and Chyna
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: Nobody has ever had the impact and cool factor that Stone Cold Steve Austin has. Even at 75 percent, he’s original. He’s called the Texas Rattlesnake, but he’s really a unicorn with his connection to the crowd.
FINAL LVP of PPV: If you are coming back and claiming to be the best, you cannot shit the bed like Jeff Jarrett did against a top guy. He thinks he’s hot shit and he’s actually ice-cold shit. It takes an especially “special” performance to beat whatever Goldust was doing on this show.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Taka Michinoku vs Brian Christopher
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Triple H vs Sgt Slaughter
FINAL THOUGHTS: Yet another show with mood and attitude in the right direction and varied action, but that mood and attitude is misplaced. There’s too much meh and clunky and outright bad in comparison to fresh shit and the hard work of the wrestlers up top. Themed shows like this one are always unnecessarily weak and it tips the scales in a negative way. MULLET DOES NOT RECOMMEND
NEXT TIME: 1997 ends with the most anticipated WCW PPV of all time: Starrcade 1997. The year should go out with a bang. It will instead go out with a “fast count.”