Mullet's Retro Diary 147: November to Remember 1997

My whole theming last week was predicated around threes and I’m back at it again this week because it’s the third outing for Extreme Championship Wrestling on PPV. Thus far, they have been a breath of fresh air compared to the bright lights and big budgets of WWF and WCW. That said, there’s an alarming trend.

The drop in quality from Barely Legal to Hardcore Heaven was stark. While it was still a show I recommended, there was quite a gap in between the two. Plus, you can definitely see the influence in WWF’s edgier product and WCW is flat out stealing ECW talent left and right. Taking those blows could hamper the on-screen product I’ve been enjoying thus far.

Three is a magic number, but is it also a brutally beautiful one? Well, all I will say is it’s certainly one I won’t forget for one reason or another.

PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 147: ECW NOVEMBER TO REMEMBER 1997

Written on 4/4/23

ALL THE OPENING STUFF: We are live in the Golden Dome wherever the hell Manaca, PA is. Joey Styles welcomes us in ring to the fifth annual November to Remember (but the first on PPV, baby!) They are right down the road from Pittsburgh apparently. He promises the title of the show and the opening video plays. Bam Bam Bigelow appears to now be the champ.

MATCH NUMBER ONE: Tommy Rogers vs Chris Candido

BEFORE THE BELL: Bob Artese is the announcer and he starts by announcing an old fucking Fantastic in Rogers. He looks more out of place than Vincent and Jules in Jimmie’s clothes (and our reference challenge is my all-time favorite movie that I watched on this same day, Pulp Fiction). Out next is Chris Candido. This match is Kevin Nash’s negative wrestling thoughts at the time personified. The dubbed music is so loud that you cannot hear Joey talking. Formal intros let me know Rogers is from Seminole, Florida. That checks out.

THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS

-How is Candido still only 25?!?! Drugs are bad. There’s a wrestling stalemate and Tommy normally ends on top. There are “BORING” chants as soon as an armlock lasts 15 seconds.

-Rogers suplexes Candido over the top rope to the floor and the crowd chants. Fickle. A Camel Clutch makes Joey mention Candido breaking his neck in MSG for WWF and that’s enough to be the first MVP.

-The crowd loves and respects Chris so much. He acknowledges the WOOs during chops with a Ric Flair hair taunt. It costs him and he takes a big superplex. Referee Jim Molineaux is the first LVP for counting way too fast.

-A top rope hurricanrana gets a two count just as a catching powerbomb does. Lance Storm runs out to help beat Rogers up. He’s a Triple Threat prospect apparently. Jerry Lynn comes out to save Rogers, his current partner. Paul E’s booking is overrated because of shit like this. There are a bunch of dives and the fucking referee gets on mic and turns this into a tag match. Huh?

WINNER: Draw (I guess) at 13:25

FINAL WORD: I guess I can’t even provide this yet, right? I’m so confused.

MATCH NUMBER TWO: Tommy Rogers and Jerry Lynn vs Chris Candido and Lance Storm

THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS

-Someone gets pantsed and whistled at while I was making notes. Joey hilariously makes fun on Mr. JL and Candido accidentally hits a female photographer while taking a dropkick.

-Candido pulls Storm off so he can attack and almost gets abandoned. Rogers hits the Tomikaze AKA Killswitch/Unprettier after a broken up Blonde Bombshell. Then, this has a typical random ending.

WINNERS: Chris Candido and Lance Storm win in 3:20 when Candido pins Tommy Rogers after a Northern Lights suplex with a bridge

FINAL WORD: Great action, dogshit storytelling.

FILLING TIME: Chris jaws at Storm and shows off a positive sign about him.

MATCH NUMBER THREE: Justin Credible w/Jason vs Mikey Whipwreck

BEFORE THE BELL: Clips are shown of Mikey Whipwreck beating Steve Austin and Justin Credible beating Great Sasuke. Anything to make this random bout mean something, I guess. Credible, the former Aldo Montoya, enters with “the world’s sexiest man.” Mikey has an interesting dub of Loser and an epic dragon shirt. He’s still very over. Jason is lame and a walking LVP with some bad crotch chipping. There are “Aldo” catcalls right away.

THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS

-Both guys are 23. This is insane. During a brawl on the floor, Mikey hits an innovative headscissors using the ring post.

-A missile dropkick and Jason clothesline turns the tide for the heel. The match turns “fundamental” per Styles AKA boring.

-Credible makes a couple things look hokey and gets badly booed. Jason is suplexed into the ring and kicked low. Jason holds Mikey and gets low blowed again before Mikey hits a super version of the Stone Cold Stunner, which I believe he tries to claim he innovated instead of Michael Hayes.

WINNER: Mikey Whipwreck in 7:16 with the top-rope Whippersnapper

FINAL WORD: Nothing like a TV filler match for a company without TV.

FILLING TIME: This was apparently Credible’s first loss. Really? What the fuck? Al Snow is in the locker room yelling at Head and the Blue World Order about his injury, Eric Bischoff and getting people over. He’s crazy. It’s better than Leif Cassidy. Joey’s face cutting back is funny, but his constant puns about Head are not. A Sandman/Sabu video is apparently cut out because it’s referenced, but we go to our next match.

MATCH NUMBER FOUR: TV TITLE MATCH- Pitbull #2 w/Mr. Wright, Pitbull #1 and Brakkus vs Taz (Champ)

BEFORE THE BELL: The Pitbulls and apparent heel contingent are already in the ring. Taz’s music and entrance gets a big pop. He’s so BROWN. Paul E joins Joey for commentary to shit on Raw’s ratings. Mr. Wright is that fucking guy from the helicopter at the last PPV. Heyman talks over the announcer to put over Taz’s demeanor.

THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS

-Pitbull hits a big powerbomb and spin kick early. After one duck, the suplexes start. Then, it gets locked in and it’s over. BADASS.

WINNER: Taz retains in 1:29 with the Tazmission

FINAL WORD: That’s how you fucking run a monster face. That might be my favorite squash ever.

FILLING TIME: Pitbull #1 eats a suplex and Paul keeps gushing over Taz. He asks for a mic and calls Brakkus and Wright boyfriends, insinuates Brakkus takes steroid and simply a present for Vince McMahon and then says the phrase “cum drunk” on a wrestling show. That means he’s the new MVP. A security guy comes to protect Taz and gets killed. Paul E begs the video to be cut. It does and we see Bam Bam throwing Spike Dudley into the crowd again and surfed around. Then, I’m guessing it’s the Triple Threat implosion because everything is dubbed with music. Sunny and Rick Rude are still both hanging around in these clips.

MATCH NUMBER FIVE: TAG TITLE FOUR WAY ELIMINATION MATCH- The Dudley Boyz w/Joel Gertner, Sign Guy Dudley and Big Dick Dudley vs Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney vs The Gangstanators vs The Full Blooded Italians w/Tommy Rich (Champs)

BEFORE THE BELL: Tommy Rich is on the mic amping up Tracy Smothers and Little Guido, improbably the champs in this match. Rich would definitely be friends with Zed and Maynard (and the references keep coming)! The Dudleyz gets a full intro with Gertner’s tasteless sex schtick that still works for me. He claims Big Dick impregnated a mom last night. This takes a LONG time despite the fact we are waiting for two more teams. Right on cue, there are Axl and Balls dishing chair shots including UNPROTECTED hits to both FBI guys. There’s no bell and no fourth team yet, but we start?

THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS

-Balls is swinging, Tommy is avoiding and Big Dick just starts chokeslamming. We were just told it’s tornado tag rules. The heels rule the roost until New Jack’s music interrupts and he starts the total anarchy with Kronus and a trash can full of weapons.

-There’s a cheese grater, a mailbox and more UNPROTECTED headshots than Marvin in the backseat of the car (proud of this one). Four guys are already bleeding.

-Big Dick misses a moonsault and eats an UNPROTECTED shot from a guitar. Joey calls out the number of Big Dick jokes. This being an elimination match is mentioned for the first time. Buh Buh does a dive and I’ve never seen that before! I’m coming around. Rich takes a second rope guitar shot and bleeds right away.

-Kronus hits 450s on everyone not in the match, but The Gangstanators are eliminated at 9:35 when Buh Buh pins Krnous after a catching cutter.

-Buh Buh is an MVP with some decent action and violence like a press slam on Guido into the buckle. He takes some errant powder from Gertner and The Dudley Boyz are eliminated at 11:59 when D-Von is accidentally hit with 3D by his blinded brother and pinned by Rotten.

-Every shot Smothers takes looks like it hurts like hell. Axl gets the Terrible Towel for a cheap pop and hits a Curtain Call, but doesn’t pin. The ref gets bumped during a Nutcracker Suite attempt. A new ref, Jeff Jones, runs out and counts to two, but poorly sells nothing and checks on the other ref. Then, he fast counts the finish. For fucks sake…

WINNERS: The Full Blooded Italians retain in 14:04 when Little Guido pins Balls Mahoney with a roll up

FINAL WORD: Why did I do drugs? Because there’s no way that wasn’t a coke fueled vision or something I saw taking Lance’s Madman. I can’t tell if I loved or hated it. Final headshot tallies: Rotten got five, New Jack got four, Buh Buh and Tracy and Balls got three, Guido got two and somehow Big Dick, Rich, D-Von and Kronus only got one each.

MATCH NUMBER SIX: FLAG MATCH- Rob Van Dam w/Bill Alfonso vs Tommy Dreamer w/Beulah McGillicutty

BEFORE THE BELL: Tommy and Beulah are shown arriving. He claims he’s not 50% but he’s ready. It’s a bad, boring promo. They resemble Butch and Fabienne to me for some reason. A highlight package shows RVD attacking after Dreamer’s victory over Raven and both WWF and ECW banners displayed prominently. The heels come out and Joey looks bad saying he’ll never work for the WWF. I guess he’s technically right? Joey’s reaction to Beulah’s cleavage gets an understated “Oh my God” and takes him off the MVP list by being corny. Dreamer has a separated shoulder and broken heel. How are they both 26?!?! Beulah is the most over person involved.

THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS

-It’s typical stuff early: pedestrian action into a brawl on the floor quickly and an UNPROTECTED chair to RVD to bust open his eye. He responds with a Van Daminator. The fans chant about people not sitting down. Classic ECW shit.

-There’s a “Van Dam swallows” chant during some creative attacks in the corner. Dreamer answers with a baseball slide into a chair while RVD is in the tree of woe. They are actively protecting quite a bit.

-A great series of spots including a Van Dam split on the top rope into a dick kick and DDT means Fonzie stops the count and referee Pee Wee Moore takes an UNPROTECTED shot with a road sign.

-Jeff Jones breaks up ANOTHER count and almost fucks it up, so he’s in the LVP lead now. Things fall apart with a chair botch and another ref breaking up the pin. Both referees end up DDTing Jones off a Beulah low blow, then Fonzie low blows them and Beulah low blows HIM. She makes a count and reveals her thong. Then, RVD takes the most epic piledriver ever. I’m EXHAUSTED.

-Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon come down to provide a distraction and then Stevie Richards runs in to superkick Tommy. RVD hits a Five Starr Frog Splash with a trash can and they count an unofficial pin. Fonzie rings the bell and makes an announcement. In other words…

WINNER: No Contest in 14:24

FINAL WORD: They just can’t help themselves. Some sanity and fun can work, you know?

FILLING TIME: The old WWF logo on the flag is blurred and they cover Tommy with it and put him on a table. Sabu appears and gets blocked diving onto him by Beulah, so he hits her instead. Dreamer covers her for protection and this bleeds into our next bout.

MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: TABLES AND LADDERS MATCH- Sabu w/Bill Alfonso vs The Sandman

BEFORE THE BELL: Naturally, it takes Sandman forever to appear and we suffer through his dubbed theme. When he does, he’s already bleeding. There’s a kid with a WWF sign that reads “World Wide” and that last word is exactly what you’d expect. It takes Sandman roughly five days to take in all the cheers and climb one ladder to get knocked off by a Sabu dive to start. Where the fuck did everyone else go?!?!

THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS

-Sabu actually hits the triple jump moonsault off a closed ladder. He tried that in 2006 and it failed har. Sandman just runs at the ropes and throws the ladder over the top onto Sabu in a wincing moment.

-Almost four minutes in, this lacks energy or any semblance of cohesion early. Sandman is an LVP by flailing around. A head smash on a table causes the whole thing to break. They try again with a top rope leg drop and Sandman doesn’t come close to Sabu and eats more shit than him through the table.

-More “sit the fuck down” chants as Sabu hits the triple jump to an outside table. Sandman can’t even stand or run the ropes now. A snug jump kick won’t help.

-An elaborate set up with Sandman outside on the table is totally whiffed off the ladder. Where’s Winston Wolf to solve this? Sandman misses ANOTHER table with a dive.

-I have to give Sabu credit: he’s hitting all of HIS shit lol. He’s landing where he needs to land like the ladder from a top rope suplex. There are more WOOF inducing convoluted fuck ups with the ladder and ropes because Sandman is awful and bloody as hell. A fork is now introduced.

-A teeter-totter attempt is badly missed by Sandman. This is the disaster I expected, my god. The crowd is not even booing; they are just stunned into silence. Tons of somersaulting onto ladders gets the people to try and rally.

-There’s a decently clever electric chair counter off a springboard. I mean, all Sandman had to do was fall, so it’s not that crazy. There’s yet another somersault off a ladder over the top rope onto Sabu and an already breaking table.

-Sandman dodges a fireball and tries to attack Fonzie, but gets stopped and smashed with a ladder off the top rope to the floor through a table. Right as I jot down “END THIS”, they heard me from the past.

WINNER: Sabu in 21:08 with a top rope Arabian Facebuster with a ladder

FINAL WORD: This match walked so Botchamania could run. This is an all-time shitshow.

FILLING TIME: Joey claims we haven’t seen the last of these two and I hope he’s wrong. They actually replay some of this and Sandman gets applause standing up. Styles tries to hawk the merch catalog and Taz interrupts to challenge Bam Bam Bigelow while almost forgetting the name of the next PPV.

MATCH NUMBER EIGHT: ECW TITLE MATCH- Shane Douglas w/Francine vs Bam Bam Bigelow (Champ)

BEFORE THE BELL: The champ is out first. The Triple Threat is banned from ringside. Backstage shots of Shane getting ready and taking his sweet time prelude his entrance. Francine is on crutches and the hometown boy gets a good, but not great, pop. They are trying to achieve a big fight feel, but it’s just boring stalling. The Bizarro world reactions are pointed out.

THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS

-This is a regular ass match with a couple of early missteps. Shout out to the cutting-edge guy already in a Cartman shirt.

-Ten full minutes of Bam Bam dominating Shane and the crowd trying to will him. It’s not working on me. A rest hold is battled out of, but Shane is pressed into the buckle and post to the floor.

-A moonsault is turned into a powerbomb through a table that brings the crowd to life. After more meandering action, Douglas takes a powerbomb of his own through a table on the floor.

-There’s a ref bump and Shane is bleeding. I’m half watching if I’m being honest. Bigelow threatens the press slam into the crowd. Security stops the Triple Threat from entering, so Douglas is thrown into the security instead.

-Franny hits Bam Bam with her crutch and it’s no sold. He swings and misses at her before bashing Shane with it. He’s pretty good here and maybe an MVP? Sure.

-Out of a messy backslide attempt, the challenger hits his finisher and can’t capitalize. A makeshift broken table on a chair is set up by the champ and he pays for it. The three count gets a big pop from the crowd.

WINNER: Shane Douglas wins the title in 25:03 with a belly-to-belly suplex through a table and chair

FINAL WORD: 24 minutes of the heel dominating the hometown boy, then one move essentially wins the damn thing? Snooze.

BEFORE WE GO: The Triple Threat comes out to celebrate. Shane can barely stand. A doctor checks on him and Joey just signs out.

THE LAST IMAGE: Shane Douglas, Lance Storm, Chris Candido and Francine

 

THE WRAP UP

 

FINAL MVP of PPV: It’s incredible how Taz can stand out by doing so little. He makes everything matter. WWF has had Stone Cold and WCW has had DDP. Taz is that guy to the crowd for ECW.

FINAL LVP of PPV: Sandman got sympathy at the end by being a total mess, so I will cut him some slack and defer to Jeff Jones. What a shitty “ref” who badly took the spotlight on two occasions and messed up most of what he did.

MY FAVORITE MATCH: Taz vs Pitbull #2

MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Sabu vs The Sandman

FINAL THOUGHTS: The bottom has fallen out on this show for Paul E. There were absolutely terrible booking decisions, incredibly messy action, a mixed bag crowd and a definitive low class feeling. This was torture compared to the all-time feeling of the first show and the flawed, but okay, feeling of the second show. MULLET DOES NOT RECOMMEND.

NEXT TIME: I break it down. By it, I mean D-Generation X’s very own PPV.