Three things at the top of today’s show:
1. I watched this show on a work trip in a hotel room. That’s always interesting.
2. I’m very intrigued with how this show goes. I’ve never actually seen it before and we’ve spoken at great length about this wild ass idea. How is it aging: well or rapidly deteriorating?
3. Hey, rule of threes! Turns out I actually only had two things.
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 146: WCW WORLD WAR 3 1997
Written on 3/26/23
ALL THE OPENING STUFF: It’s the same lame ass commercial from the last show, but extended to focus on the battle royal and some lame ass guy walking up on some wreckage. We go live in Detroit in the Palace of Auburn Hills. That means we are doing a Malice in the Palace reference challenge baby! Schiavone, Tenay and Heenan welcome us with the Professor breaking down the importance of the main event and the story effectively. He’s an immediate MVP. There are eight other matches, too.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: Glacier and Ernest Miller vs The Faces of Fear w/Jimmy Hart
BEFORE THE BELL: The faces don’t get much of a reaction. Glacier just acts like a regular dude now. The hard cam is facing a different direction for the three rings and the entrance and it’s messing me up big time. Meng and Barbarian are next and get a good little pop. They jump their opponents at the bell.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-The crowd is raucous over something that isn’t this match. It’s hopefully not Ron Artest swinging at people already (and we’re off)! Meng gets beaten by both men. Cat seems to have regressed and Glacier is sloppy as fuck.
-Glacier is totally the first LVP by hesitating and stutter stepping constantly. In contrast, Miller shockingly jumps off one man onto another on the floor.
-Tony mentions the rules change to the main event: you’re eliminated if you leave the ring in any way. That’s total bullshit. The heels hit a backdrop powerbomb for a big pop.
-The University of Michigan gets mentioned during Steiner talk. Meng lays in a kick to the face like a sliding Jermaine O’Neal punch. Ernest finally tags in and excels just by kicking the shit out of people (including Jimmy Hart). Doesn’t stop him from turning into the finishing move.
WINNERS: The Faces of Fear in 9:09 when Meng pins Ernest Miller with the Tongan Death Grip
FINAL WORD: Both teams have had better, but the crowd was fine and all four could kick your ass for real.
FILLING TIME: Mark Madden interviews DDP for AOL. Cool?
MATCH NUJMBER TWO: TV TITLE MATCH-Disco Inferno vs Perry Saturn w/Raven (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: Disco’s music getting a pop is surprising. He does a stupider dance than usual as the challenger here. A dubbed, WWFish theme plays for Saturn coming from ringside with Raven. The leader of the Flock gets a mic just to say “let the stretchings begin.” He’s still lame to me.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-Saturn plays with Disco early and Tenay puts over his credentials. Disco tries a wrestling comeback and I see a bad Hogan impersonator at ringside. This is another nothing burger so far. Inferno is showing fire, but it’s see-through.
-You can tell Bobby really likes Saturn. He applies a unique sitting down backslide and hits a weird springboard crossbody to a crotched Disco.
-At ringside, Disco gives Kidman and a debuting Lodi “Chartbusters” aka Stunners. Hammer-who somehow has a job again-stops him and gets a shot in. There’s no call for the bell. Saturn regains control, but gets hit with a swinging neckbreaker for two. All he needs is one counter to win.
WINNER: Perry Saturn retains in 8:19 with the Rings of Saturn
FINAL WORD: Solid enough for its spot, but I’ve already forgotten about it.
FILLING TIME: Mean Gene looks really old and talks to The Giant in an arm cast. Scott Hall broke him thumb on Nitro. He whispers his promo and says he’s blown to the gills. Whatever that means.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: Yuji Nagata w/Sonny Onoo vs Ultimo Dragon
BEFORE THE BELL: Dragon gets five minutes with Onoo if he wins. Yuji is just in a t-shirt instead of his puffy vest and Dragon is rocking a good look. His elbow is still an issue.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-This is quick and okay to start. Dragon keeps focusing on Onoo stupidly and tries a suplex on him, but gets stopped. Tenay explains Nagata’s excursion as he hits a suplex and piledriver.
-The match grinds to a halt with a long sleeper spot. There are interspersed comeback moments, but it leads to more submission spots. Kicks wake everyone up, but there’s a weird face wash spot and catching leg whip. People don’t really respond.
-They wake up for a sunset flip powerbomb and moonsault both for two counts. Sonny distracts the ref during the Dragon Sleeper, then helps put Yuji’s foot on the rope to break up a pin off the tope rope hurricanrana. The finish gets all fucked-the suplex looks bad, Sonny messes up getting hit and the ref counts to four.
WINNER: Yuji Nagata in 12:45 with a belly-to-back counter press
FINAL WORD: This wasn’t as good as their last match, but it turned into something well enough and then the finish left a bad taste. It’s like a weird Oreo.
FILLING TIME: They replay the last four spots in the match and it’s exhaustive considering how the last one looked.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: WCW TAG TITLE MATCH- The Blue Bloods vs The Steiner Bros w/Ted DiBiase (Champs)
BEFORE THE BELL: I’m shocked Dave Taylor is still employed. Rick and Scott are finally tag champs and Ted is barking. I figured they’d get a better pop being hometown boys.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-Tenay gives extensive title history for the Steiners including “two reigns in another promotion.” There’s the typical double bail and we miss why Regal is livid and wants at DiBiase. I love Regal’s finger assisted bicep.
-Regal’s antics and crispness are still there, but boy is he out of shape. Scott somehow exudes Stephen Jackson permanently (and the challenge rolls on). Taylor is taking all of the big suplex bumps.
-The usual Scott heat section leads to the Rick hot tag and straight domination from there.
WINNERS: The Steiner Bros retain in 9:47 when Rick Steiner pins Steven Regal after a Doomsday Bulldog
FINAL WORD: It’s getting to the point where every Steiner match is the same. I’m never that mad at it.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: NO DQ MATCH- Scotty Riggs vs Raven w/The Flock
BEFORE THE BELL: Mean Gene interview JJ Dillon live and he mentions that Raven still hasn’t signed a contract despite the high profile he’s been given. He’s got 24 hours to sign a contract and he’s shown non-plussed on the screen. A totally 80s fueled riff leads a one-eyed Riggs out. It’s an LVP look alone. Why is he still getting paid? Raven comes over the rail without music with his Flock. Kidman gets fucking mic time stating it has to be No DQ. Riggs dives onto the whole group.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-Raven gets his ass kicked for two minutes by a charisma-free Riggs. They brawl on the floor; Raven is whipped into the steps and gets a cord wrapped around his neck. This is a tame ass ECW ripoff thus far.
-A chair wakes people up and Riggs drop toe holds Raven into it. He sells it great just like a dropkick of the chair into his face. How are rope breaks still okay?
-LOUD bulldog onto the chair and Raven is still kicking out. Out of nowhere, he hits an Evenflow DDT and asks for the mic. He yells at Riggs about not joining him and hits another. “I feel your pain, why didn’t you listen?!?!” After the third finisher, the ref just calls for the bell.
WINNER: Raven wins in 8:44 by KO with 3 Evenflows
FINAL WORD: I just don’t think Raven is for me.
FILLING TIME: The entire Flock comes in and Hammer carries Riggs out. Lodi isn’t acting silly at all and is totally jacked.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: Steve McMichael vs Alex Wright w/Debra
BEFORE THE BELL: Never mind all of this shit, here comes Mongo with a huge pipe. Goldberg’s music hits and gets a good pop, but Mongo gets on mic and says there won’t be a match. He asks for the camera to show Goldberg laid out backstage. This is the oft-forgotten weak start for him. He challenges anybody else and kisses his retrieved Super Bowl ring. Debra drags Alex Wright out. She’s like Reggie Miller trying to pull guys to the back. Wright eventually dances.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-Wright tries to get a fast start, but is devastated shortly thereafter. A sign in the crowd says “Debra musts die!” Jesus.
-Mongo can barely stay on his feet giving offense and relies on sidewalk slams. Mercifully, this is over quickly.
WINNER: Steve McMichael in 3:36 with the Mongo Spike Tombstone
FINAL WORD: Just why? That was utterly pointless.
FILLING TIME: Mark Madden briefly talks to Saturn before he walks away.
MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH- Rey Mysterio Jr vs Eddie Guerrero (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: Of course, Rey has already lost the title he won at the last PPV. He’s really smiley and his mask looks too big. That’s because it’s the one he can take off and give to a fan. Didn’t know he did that all the way back here. Eddie has a little limp and swag. A sign in the crowd poorly spells his name “Girlero”
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-There are “Eddie sucks” chants and the heel complaints for the early part of the match. A sick German suplex starts the Eddie portion.
-Rey is a little botchy again, but still manages a springboard headscissors off a backflip. Tenay mentions the anniversary of Art Barr’s passing as Eddie joins him on the MVP list with his intensity.
-This just doesn’t have the same urgency and energy in the building like Halloween Havoc. Eddie plays up the crowd response well and Mysterio hits a flying flippy senton to the floor.
-Mysterio is a shocking LVP threat with another momentum killing stumble on a counter. This is shockingly still the best thing on the show. Rey hits a forward flip West Coast Pop, but Guerrero gets to the ropes for a pseudo-Dusty finish. It gives Eddie time to hit a Stun Gun and climb the ropes.
WINNER: Eddie Guerrero retains in 12:42 with the Frog Splash
FINAL WORD: That was a letdown, but how can you really be when it’s these two together.
FILLING TIME: A Starrcade commercial focuses on Sting being badass. That’s one hard thing about this PPV project-he’s rarely on it and you miss his impact. He’s always a decoy.
MATCH NUMBER EIGHT: US TITLE NO DQ MATCH-Ric Flair vs Curt Hennig (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: The crowd comes to life for the nWo’s music for the first time. The champ has a chair with him and he’s wearing a Syxx shirt for his hurt friend. Flair misses the entryway like a goof. Tony mentions Riggs and Goldberg probably being out of World War 3. There’s a ton of stalling until Flair goes out and chops/attacks a poorly bumping Hennig and they go into the crowd. Tony just keeps talking about the main event.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-The bell never rang, by the way. There’s just choking and scrapping thus far. Tenay provides background info and Flair shockingly hits the axe handle from the top to the floor. Everyone is shocked.
-The ref is randomly blinded by something. Can someone blind me because this is plodding and Tony can’t even be bothered to talk about it.
-There’s a long stretch of Curt focusing on the leg and Flair gets caught off the top rope on his comeback. Hennig outchops Flair and causes a flop.
-I’m not sure what’s worse: Mongo stinking the joint out for a couple minutes or two greats just taking up all of the time and air. Schiavone is LVP levels of preachy about the battle royal. After an eternity, Ric gets a chair and crotches Hennig on it and kicks the bottom of it on his leg. It makes a great sound.
-He gets a second chair and the title belt. He applies the Figure Four, but Curt gets the belt and uses it for a weak ending to a weak match.
WINNER: Curt Hennig retains in 17:55 with a belt shot to the face
FINAL WORD: Take them back to 1993. This was a big stinker to me.
MATCH NUMBER NINE: 60 MAN THREE RING BATTLE ROYAL FOR A WCW TITLE SHOT AT SUPERBRAWL
BEFORE THE BELL: Michael Buffer announces the rules. They can move ring to ring, but they are eliminated if they hit the floor. It’s also just the final five in each ring now instead of ten. Boy, they don’t care about this match anymore, do they? The combatants are DDP, Ray Traylor, Alex Wright, Disco Inferno, Meng, both Villainos, Chris Benoit, Fit Finlay, La Parka, Steven Regal, Public Enemy, Dave Taylor, Ultimo Dragon, Norman Smiley, Louie Spicolli, Hector Garza, Lizmark Jr, The Giant, Greg Valentine (WHY), Chris Adams (WHY AGAIN), Yuji Nagata, Chris Jericho, Juventud Guerrera, Wrath, Harlem Heat, The Steiner Brothers, Jim Duggan (still amazingly over), Hugh Morrus, Lex Luger, Ernest Miller, Brad Armstrong, Silver King, Mortis, The Barbarian, Eddie Guerrero, Damien, Prince Iaukea (how he has fallen), Barry Darsow (visually melting), Dean Malenko, John Nord (HUSS), Kendall Windham, El Dandy (never doubt him), Rey Mysterio Jr, Steve McMichael, Ciclope, The Renegade, Chavo Guerrero Jr, Super Calo, Glacier and Bobby Blaze (whoever that is). The final group is the New World Order with their own music: Buff Bagwell, Scott Hall, Curt Hennig, Randy Savage and Vincent. Rick Rude and Elizabeth are with them. The final entrant is expected to be Kevin Nash, but he’s nowhere to be seen. They are in the ring with all the total losers. Heenan is concerned that they are calling the whole match solely.
THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS
-Giant ousts several luchadores and Disco right away, getting all of the focus. So much for the other two, I guess. Rocco Rock is a random LVP when he can’t get over the top rope three times.
-The nWo ring is largely empty already. Hall gets rid of Dandy and Buff gets rid of Blaze. This is so interchangeable and bad. Ring two is still chocked full. Duggan and Vincent fuck up as soon as they are on screen together.
-The crowd is just standing and watching not much happen. Armstrong is out, Harlem Heat is dominating and Iaukea is worthless. DDP gets rid of Nagata and guys are going back and forth to rings willy nilly. Wrath and Renegade eliminate each other and keep brawling on the floor. Sure, why not?!?!
-Jericho gets dumped off camera. Poor guy. How is Kendall Windham still in? Rey gets a pop almost eliminating Hall, who sells it beautifully. Wright tries to pin Mongo and Duggan is the most over person by far. Adams fucks up and the ref forces him out.
-Ring 3 gets down to the final 5 and Taylor tries to join and gets thrown out. The five guys are Mortis, Giant, Wright, Mongo and Meng. Benoit and Dean are unceremoniously eliminated.
-Ring two is stopped after Duggan and Miller are out. Mysterio gets Eddie out and fights off the nWo something fierce until he’s holding onto the apron skirt. Ring 3 says fuck it and starts again. Giant backdrops Mortis and Wright out and Meng dumps Mongo.
-Ring one is down to just the nWo when they get rid of Scott Steiner. I’ve missed like 20 eliminations. Stevie Ray is gone and Giant dropkicks Meng out. Fucking Vincent is still there. It’s five-on-five with the nWo against Luger, Giant, DDP, Booker and Rick Steiner.
-They finally join the nWo ring and there’s a big pop for the brawl. Vincent eats a Diamond Cutter and Giant rolls him out. Book and Rick are soon to go. There’s a great character moment of Bagwell talking trash in the camera and squealing when he’s grabbed by Giant and wrecked by Lex. That’s a late MVP case. A big scrum has Curt, Lex and Buff out from Giant.
-Giant blocks the Macho elbow drop by catching him and he eats a Cutter and chokeslam, getting rolled out afterwards. Hall is backed down by the two remaining faces and he flees to a new ring to point at the entryway. The nWo music plays and everyone expects Nash, but it’s Hollywood Hogan, defying all logic. Only he could make the final four of a 60 man battle royal by coming out with three people left.
-Hogan slams Giant right away and “Sting” repels down. It’s blatantly Nash because he steps over the top rope. Hulk eliminates himself and “Sting” hits Giant with the bat to eliminate him. At some point, Dallas was out, too. HOW CAN THIS BE SO MESSY?
WINNER: Scott Hall in 29:55
FINAL WORD: This match somehow gets worse each time out.
BEFORE WE GO: Nash lifts his mask and smiles like a goof. The rest of the group come down to celebrate and spit on Page. Eric Bischoff has a ridiculously big cigar. Hall’s win is not the focus and not even formally announced. Hulk hits a Diamond Cutter on DDP. What a fucking dick!
THE LAST IMAGE: Hollywood Hogan, Rick Rude, Konnan and Buff Bagwell
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: The two things this show needed were stability and effort and the only person who seemed to consistently do that was Mike Tenay.
FINAL LVP of PPV: It’s clear that Glacier is not the focus or a priority at all anymore. It also didn’t help that he messed a bunch of stuff up.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Eddie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio Jr
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Steve McMichael vs Alex Wright
FINAL THOUGHTS: Is this the most boring show ever? There’s only match that’s pretty good and everything else is Thunder worthy before Thunder existed. It merely sets up Starrcade and poorly for that matter. What a drab mess AKA WCW on the verge of beginning their descent. MULLET DOES NOT RECOMMEND
NEXT TIME: The rule of threes continue with ECW’s November to Remember.