Mullet's Retro Diary 124: In Your House-Final Four

I never understood the phrase “Card Subject to Change” as a kid. I don’t mean the definition. I mean the need for it to appear on every advertisement and commercial for every PPV of my childhood. It didn’t matter if there weren’t even matches that were being promoted at that time. It was necessary because of the volatile nature of the business. That said, I don’t remember it really rearing its ugly head too much or vividly.

This show is one of the first times I really recall it, but it’s for different reasons. The main event was unchanged from the promotion of the card, but the stipulations became much more important in the wake of an infamous injury. Upon further research, I found that the IC Title match was also changed, but that’s besides the point. How often does “Card Subject to Change” BENEFIT the show?

Final Four is one of those cases.

PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 124: IN YOUR HOUSE-FINAL FOUR

Written on 8/16/22

HOW WE START: What it means to be a champ and how it meant everything to Shawn Michaels, but there are four different men fighting for the title tonight. Some of these guys are not role models like we thought they were. This is happening because of “a cruel twist of destiny” AKA HBK didn’t want to job to Bret Hart at WrestleMania. Western Union is the presenting sponsor and the pyramid logo for the show is pretty cool. We are starting straight away on this one.

MATCH NUMBER ONE: Leif Cassidy vs Marc Mero w/Sable

BEFORE THE BELL: The babyfaces are already entering. The commentary team is just Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler. Thank heavens! It feels right already. Mero has more attitude than usual. Ray Rougeau’s dad has already been replaced on the French team. Leif is already in the ring without much focus, but Sable gets plenty. Cool shades indoors.

WHAT STANDS OUT

-Chain wrestling to start and JR talks about the inordinate chances Mero takes. Interesting series of head pulls by the Wildman. Ross is the first MVP by controlling the broadcast effortlessly.

-Sable fucking kicks Leif when he’s taking over on Mero on the floor. The refs have been deplorable lately. It might be the booking. Cassidy dropkicks Marc on the leg and grounds him.

-A long leglock is applied and Mero finally gets on his feet and nails an enziguri that JR calls by name. It’s so nice. Mero is cut off again soon. The crowd is full of whistles and catcalls for Sable.

-A Figure Four by Leif gets WOOOs from the crowd. Sable pushes the ropes to her man and she’s the first LVP for feeling out of place as this sexpot with attitude. She slaps Leif, he grabs her and Wildman dives onto him.

-Marc seems gassed on a Samoan Drop, but makes the climb to the top and hits his Shooting Star Press, taking all of it on his knees.

HOW DOES IT END:

Marc Mero wins in 9:30 with the Wild Thing

FINAL WORD: It definitely feels like a heel turn for these two, but I’m definitely not feeling it or this match.

THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Mero has trouble standing after the bell. His finishing move gets an equal replay to Sable’s slap. The Honky Tonk Man randomly appears with a full entrance, but never mind because it’s time to show Shawn relinquishing the title on Thursday Raw Live. The crowd is mixed as hell in their reactions. HBK can barely speak properly about his knee. I don’t count things that happened in the past, but he would be an LVP if I did because this is a bunch of shit (and I know it as my favorite at that time). He has no toughness left and gives Gorilla Monsoon the belt. He’s lost a lot of things like his infamous smile and that means a lot to him and he doesn’t care if he’s made fun of for showing emotion. Oh buddy, you have no idea. Cue the Cure because boys don’t cry (and we have our reference challenge). I’ve always wondered if the ladies crying in the crowd were plants. Gorilla raises the stakes for the Final Four match due to this, but the winner will face Sycho Sid on Raw the next night. Sid is interviewed by Kevin Kelly. It’s a lot of yelling followed by a lot of whispering. He’s growing on me.

MATCH NUMBER TWO: Flash Funk, Bart Gunn and Goldust w/Marlena vs The Nation of Domination w/The Nation of Domination

BEFORE THE BELL: For real, where did the Honky Tonk Man go? Flash gets a full entrance with pyro and his Funkettes. I love his green gear. He’s joined by Bart Gunn randomly except for the fact that he wrestled Faarooq on Raw recently. Goldust is in the same boat because he lost to Crush on Raw in the Skydome (?!?) a couple of weeks earlier. Ross is still talking about how surprising it is that fans cheer Goldust now. Savio Vega is the new N.O.D. member and helped Crush get the win. The full group enters from the stands. There’s D-Lo! King gives PG-13 individual name shout outs. The whole set up just works. During their line-up, it looks like they rival the New World Order in numbers. Savio hasn’t even changed his gear yet.

WHAT STANDS OUT

-Faarooq wants the mic to start, but it doesn’t work and Goldust jumps all three heels. They powder and Funk hits a big top rope dive to them all on the floor.

-Dope catching spinebuster by Faarooq on Flash. Savio tags in and eats a hurricanrana. Bart launches Flash over the top, but all three heels just pummel him and take over.

-The jailbird stuff with Crush is so weird. The guy got fired for something, then gets brought back and it’s glorified. The focus should be on how bad his piledriver is.

-It’s mentioned that Ahmed Johnson is out with injury again. Bart gets the hot tag and hits a powerslam on Faarooq. All six men enter the ring and Bart hits a top rope bulldog, but Goldust distracts the ref while beating up PG-13 on the floor. That gives Crush time for a sneak attack.

HOW DOES IT END:

The Nation of Domination wins in 6:42 when Faarooq pins Bart Gunn after a legdrop by Crush

FINAL WORD: That was totally chaotic through and through, yet I dug it enough.

THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Dok Hendrix interviews Stone Cold backstage and his chances are questioned considering he doesn’t hold a victory over any of his opponents. He claims the Rumble was enough. He stumbles over his words quite a bit, but his character and attitude make up for it enough. So does calling Dok a piece of trash.

MATCH NUMBER THREE: IC TITLE MATCH- Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs Rocky Maivia (Champ)

BEFORE THE BELL: We only see the tail end of Trips’ entrance and his title loss from Thursday Raw is shown. Look at that Hunter piledriver on the rookie! His loss is blamed on taking the match lightly. The title change gets a big pop, so what about Die Rocky Die? The new champ enters live and he is ALL smiles and billed from “the South Pacific.” The reaction is admittedly muted for him.

WHAT STANDS OUT

-Rocky messes up a drop toe hold right away and Hunter fixes it as the veteran. Lawler insinuates that Peter Maivia is watching from hell. Rock is all energy and has no idea what he’s doing. In other words, he smells like the Scorpion King. It’s funny how his appearances are going in order now with his filmography.

-JR’s reactions to King’s jokes are great. He sells them, plays along and adds so much. HHH hits a baseball slide and I can’t say I’ve seen him do that before. That said, he’s just a cog here and Maivia is meant to be the machine.

-Helmsley’s greatest rival might be Earl Hebner. They always have hijinks going on. There are “Rocky” chants when H reapplies a chinlock.

-The new champ starts some pedestrian babyface comeback. JR even calls him “The Rock” already. His execution isn’t bad and he hits a big cross body exuding awesome balance for two.

-Right as I give him credit, Maivia hits an UGLY float over DDT that looks like a half inch away from disaster for Hunter.

-Goldust enters and provides a distraction in the aisle by rubbing his butt. That gives the rookie a chance to capitalize even though it looks like a double pin.

HOW DOES IT END:

Rocky Maivia retains in 12:28 with a German Suplex with a bridge

FINAL WORD: That will probably be their worst match and that’s fine.

THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: After the bell, Hunter and Goldust stand off until Chyna debuts by headlocking Marlena from the crowd. JR asks if that’s a woman. It’s opening time on Fascination Street (one more to go). Goldust checks on his girl and wants Chyna thrown in jail. The replay shows Marlena awkwardly selling the attack and the audience’s funny reaction.

-Kevin Kelly interviews Paul Bearer and Vader backstage. The big man messes up something about canaries and gators. He just lacks energy now. Paul saying “my Vader” just feels wrong. His “YES” remains funny.

MATCH NUMBER FOUR: TAG TITLE MATCH- Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon vs British Bulldog and Owen Hart w/Clarence Mason (Champs)

BEFORE THE BELL: The challengers are already in the ring and they are finally getting their title shot. The champs enter and Mason feels even more out of place with the Nation being a thing now. Owen sneaking in front of Davey to steal the attention is so funny. The Rumble elimination is shown again. Owen’s constant touching and feeling out his partner makes him an MVP threat.

WHAT STANDS OUT

-Good speed with Furnas and Owen early. Lafon is fluid, but the opposite of over. A blindside kick lets the heels take over.

-Referee Jack Doan is an LVP candidate by counting WAY TOO FAST. I noticed it in an earlier match, too. Hart provides a distraction during a Bulldog pin and a big clothesline follows it up complete with a forward flip by Davey.

-Great suplex/cross body combo by the champs. Lafon kicks out. Doan is totally out of position and makes a double inside cradle cheating spot look bad. Owen hits Davey on accident with a spin kick. Bulldog clotheslines Hart to a big pop. Lafon hits a splash and Bulldog still makes the save in a good moment.

-Furnas throws Owen around and Bulldog keeps saving him. Owen kicks out a bunch as well. He responds with a LOUD enziguri to Furnas. Bulldog is on fire after a double tag.

-Smith sets up the running powerslam, but Owen comes in and hits Lafon in the hold with his Slammy right in front of the ref. Davey still hits the move, but the bell rings.

HOW DOES IT END:

Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon win by DQ in 10:30

FINAL WORD: Interesting action and story all around.

THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: The champs argue after the bell. Bulldog throws the belts down and Owen says they are still champs. His smile about it all is great, but pales in comparison to his anger when Davey breaks his Slammy. Bulldog threatens to hit Clarence, but Owen smooths it over. Davey loves complaining and talking to the fans in the moment. Dok talks to Undertaker backstage and he’s slowly rediscovering his edge. How is he the best promo of the three thus far? His aesthetic is still a little off. JR mentions the foreign language announcers again and give the wrong definition of “lucha libre.” The finish of the Royal Rumble match is shown again to set up the main event and Lawler claims he’s in charge of the Western Union blimp.

MATCH NUMBER FIVE: VACANT WWF TITLE FINAL FOUR MATCH- Vader w/Paul Bearer vs Stone Cold Steve Austin vs The Undertaker vs Bret Hart

BEFORE THE BELL: Gorilla is in the ring holding the title and is starting to look really old. The match rules are essentially a battle royal, but pins and submissions also count. Vader comes out first and he tears the ringside area up. Stone Cold is next and he takes his time appearing. The two heels trade double birds. Taker is third and JR is awesome at putting over the experience of his entrance. It’s a two horse MVP race. Kevin Kelly talks with Bret Hart backstage. He doesn’t want to make any excuses and admits all of his opponents are tough. It’s typical Bret stuff. He walks out and he’s not as popular as Taker, but still very over. He gets over the ring fireworks. Ross claims this is bigger than the Super Bowl and World Series.

WHAT STANDS OUT

-They start paired off in their usual rivalries. The Dead Man dominates all three, but takes a rough looking belly-to-belly from Vader. They start brawling on the floor and Vader gets a chair kicked into his face UNPROTECTED and comes up bloody right away. Then, he’s chucked through the steps.

-Austin and Hart are just wrestling as the other two men beat the shit out of each other. Austin and Taker totally botch a Stunner and it ends up being more like a neckbreaker. Shit is wild right now.

-Vader hits Bret in the back with the chair a couple of times. Stone Cold tries a piledriver on the floor, but takes a backdrop from Taker instead. Ross elevates the insanity and crowd so well. Vader’s face is GROSS and still has the steps thrown at him. It’s barely been seven minutes. Vader gets whipped into the timekeeper’s area and squashes an innocent man.

-The Mastodon needs to be an MVP candidate because he’s taking a glorious ass kicking. He’s sent over the railing by Bret and can barely see out of his eye. Sid is shown looking incredulously backstage.

-Stone Cold forces Vader down with a Thesz Press, then gets body blocked after only for Vader to be blasted by Taker. JR puts over the war and its purpose being all for the title. Austin kicks out of a piledriver. The Vadersault misses!

-Most people are standing in the crowd and there are constant kickouts after rough shots. Hart blatantly low blow kicks Vader so good that it gets replayed. Austin survives several near eliminations. He even did a backflip counter earlier.

-STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN is eliminated at 18:08 by a forceful Bret Hart to a huge ovation. Officials escort him to the back and Doan looks so out of place. Vader finally takes his mask off while Bearer hits Taker with the urn off camera on the floor.

-BRET HART FUCKING SUPERPLEXES VADER! He tries to apply the Sharpshooter, but Taker interrupts it for no reason. Austin comes back out and attacks Bret. While this is going on, VADER is eliminated at 22:32 by a Taker low blow while Vader is on the top rope. The camera and building are shaking. It is hot, hot, HOT (and the reference challenge is done)!

-Undertaker grabs Bret and chokeslams to a complete roar. The crowd knows who they want. Austin gets on the apron and tries to pull Hart out, but accidentally helps him. Taker hits Austin and it costs him. There are some boos for the finish, but there’s still definitely a pop.

HOW DOES IT END:

Bret Hart wins the title at 24:05 by last eliminating The Undertaker with a clothesline

FINAL WORD: What a beautiful trainwreck. It was loud and messy in the best possible way.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE: Taker storms after Austin and Bret celebrates with the title. Taker looks back angrily and Ross puts over Bret’s fourth world title victory. He tells us not to go away and a WrestleMania VHS commercial airs. Back live and the new champ gets pyro and a visit from Sycho Sid. He gets into the ring and trash talks the Hitman as JR signs off.

THE LAST IMAGE: Bret Hart and Sycho Sid

 

THE WRAP UP

 

FINAL MVP of PPV: Vader bled and Owen Hart made me laugh, but Jim Ross shined brightest as the lead commentator without Vince McMahon dragging him down. He was important in like 10 different ways on this show.

FINAL LVP of PPV: I should never notice a referee doing anything let alone stuff bad. I noticed Jack Doan because he counted too fast and looked lost in the main event scuffles. That’s enough on this show to earn the dishonor.

MY FAVORITE MATCH: Bret Hart vs The Undertaker vs Vader vs Stone Cold Steve Austin

MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Marc Mero vs Leif Cassidy

FINAL THOUGHTS: That was a routine Raw that you had to pay for with a killer main event. HBK’s injury can’t be blamed. If anything, it made the show better. The first hour was boring and the last hour was wild, but it’s nothing you HAVE to see as a whole. MULLET DOESN’T RECOMMEND

NEXT TIME: I cannot believe we are on the seventh SuperBrawl. I also can’t believe Roddy Piper and Hulk Hogan are still main eventing shows.