I try to keep the news and current affairs of the world out of this silly, innocent little wrestling recap. It becomes difficult sometimes because your mood is trampled by all the awful things you keep reading about and experiencing. I have no idea how many people are reading this, but I’m essentially using this as my own personal journal at this point, so fuck it.
It’s hard to prepare to sit down and watch a predetermined event with so much war imagery when there is an absurd battle raging in Ukraine because one asshole wants more power.
It’s hard to see so many healthy starts to vibrant careers when we’ve been in a pandemic for over two fucking years.
It’s hard to reminiscence about your childhood when innocent school children were just gunned down in their classroom once again.
All the talk of being numb and desensitized is unfortunately true. Here I am sitting writing another unimportant introduction to a review of a wrestling show from over 25 years ago. It’s all I know to do in any case, but it doesn’t make it easy all the time. So, read this. Then go do something important. I’m going to try to do the same.
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 114- WCW FALL BRAWL 1996
Written on 5/22/22
HOW WE START: “You want a war? You’re gonna get one!” Scott Hall’s words set off an nWo recap. As of late, Ted DiBiase has joined and Sting stole a cop car! The Giant has joined the black and white team and “Sting” attacks Lex Luger. Man, I almost want to go back and watch all of these Nitros. We go live in Winston-Salem, NC and I’m sure this town thrilled Kevin Nash. Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan and Dusty Rhodes welcome us. My mom is staying over and watching along with me and thought this was live and claimed Bobby and Dusty looked great for their age. It’s so odd seeing Bobby root for the faces. The footage of Lex being attacked in the rain is shown again and it’s followed by his car being destroyed on Saturday Night. Poor Luger lol. There’s speculation over everyone’s fourth man. We’re always speculating over a man.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: Diamond Dallas Page vs Chavo Guerrero Jr
BEFORE THE BELL: This is a grudge match. Page is rocking a great black and pink look. Listen to that preppy face music for the skinny, young Guerrero. They start in ring two for some reason.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Chavo hits a dropkick and sloppy somersault to start. He has such misplaced fire and energy. He’s a rookie LVP even while whipping with a belt.
-There are some obnoxious cosplayers trying to get attention on the steps in the crowd during a long arm lock. It’s revealed that Eddie won the Battlebowl ring from Dallas at the most recent Clash of the Champions.
-Chavo is just green and clunky at this stage, so DDP destroys him with a top rope clothesline. Then, he hits a cool release belly-to-back throw and becomes the first MVP. My mom keeps laughing at Heenan’s comments.
-Guerrero’s comeback has a double clutch springboard clothesline and pretty blah missile dropkick. He gets a near fall with a decent headscissors and the crowd is with this now.
-Page throws the youngster over both sets of ropes and the match continues in the other ring. He hits a totally gnarly gutwrench powerbomb and it brings people out of their seats.
-He also drives home the finish and the crowd lights up for it. He is OVER.
HOW DOES IT END:
Diamond Dallas Page wins in 13:08 with the Diamond Cutter
FINAL WORD: That turned into a solid ass opener.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Harlem Heat, Col. Parker and Sherri are on CompuServe. It isn’t as funny as the Steiner Brothers. Mean Gene delivers a special report over “The Attack.” Boy, I thought modern Raw had too many recaps. This covers EVERYTHING (the debut, Bischoff’s attack, Hogan’s turn, the backlot ambush/Rey lawn dart and Hog Wild). Randy Savage takes two UNPROTECTED chair shots in the video. The spraying of Ric Flair’s hair, the yellow streak down Savage’s back and the Giant turning are all so wild and loud.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: SUBMISSION MATCH- Scott Norton vs Ice Train w/Teddy Long
BEFORE THE BELL: Oh goody, more of this feud. Norton is not the focus on his entrance because Tony talks about the New World Order’s demands of their own show, tag titles and more if they win tonight. Fat Teddy Long leads Ice Train down the aisle like this is a serious boxing match.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-The referee has a mic, so it’s essentially an “I Quit” match? The first minute is surprisingly fast and hard hitting. Dusty is ALL OVER THE PLACE with his comments, talking and talking about nothing. He becomes a quick LVP, but redeems himself quickly by saying “ventriloquist.”
-Things get choppy, the crowd gets disinterested and any submission spot doesn’t have any drama because the microphone is worthless. The audience does chant “break it” when the heel applies an armbar.
-There’s just panting and “no” muttered into the mic. Riveting stuff. Norton has been solid, hitting a nice spinebuster and applying a Boston Crab. Teddy threatens to throw in the towel, but Norton won’t let him.
-The manager gets snatched and sandbags Norton on a lift. It provides the distraction and leads to the first tapout (I believe) on PPV. Why have a mic then?
HOW DOES IT END:
Ice Train wins in 7:15 with a full nelson
FINAL WORD: Big meaty men I’d rather watch slap actual meat!
MATCH NUMBER THREE: MEXICAN HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH- Juventud Guerrera vs Konnan w/Jimmy Hart (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: I think this is the AAA Title, but it’s just called the “Mexican Heavyweight Title.” I don’t mind if it means I get the PPV debut of Juvi! Unfortunately, he immediately fucks up by tripping over the ring steps by walking backwards. Konnan is considered a big man against him and he’s now in the Dungeon of Doom. He’s accompanied by Jimmy Hart and dresses like everyone remembers him now. He must teach these kids!!! I know I’ve done a South Park reference challenge before, but I’m going to drill it down today with a Cartman impersonation reference challenge.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Juventud needs to chill right away, so Konnan hits a release German right on the neck and press slams him over the top to the floor! Holy shit, where has THIS Konnan been? Mike Tenay has joined the commentary team and mentions Konnan representing cholos now with his look.
-Guerrera has a nice comeback with a casual triple jump spin kick. A springboard attempt off the rail is caught with a powerbomb. FTW Konnan is an MVP. Jimmy Hart saying “Viva La Raza” is incredible.
-These rookie luchadores are really struggling to adjust. Juvi has to be an LVP leader just from being a walking liability with falls and dives that just aren’t landing right. He has about three in a row and each is fixed with an awesome powerbomb. The problem is Juvi isn’t selling anything long or at all.
-There’s like a full minute reset? What the fuck? Juventud just does stupid things: he tries a convoluted powerbomb attempt on the apron and backflips off the second rope instead of hitting an offensive move.
-Wheelbarrow German with authority by Konnan! That should have been the finish, but they are in the ropes. Nick Patrick is the ref and gets called out for doing a good job in this match. The Juice hits the 450, but it’s not enough. He tries a very weird spinning splash and it also doesn’t work.
-MUSCLE BUSTER! Konnan still can’t win with it and I find that totally ridiculous. He finally ends it with his real finisher.
HOW DOES IT END:
Konnan retains in 13:47 with the Power Drop
FINAL WORD: That was the Mouse Trap of matches: it was incredible when it worked, but a total mess when it didn’t.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: Chris Jericho vs Chris Benoit
BEFORE THE BELL: There’s no filler on this show! Listen to Basketball Highlights #2 for Chris Jericho, baby! So much “come on” and “let’s go!” I have to figure out what I am tracking for him across this journey. Benoit enters to a big pop because we are in Horsemen country.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Slaps and strikes kick us off. Benoit is very over on every attack. He hits a big spinebuster and backdrop before locking in the Lion Tamer on the master of the hold.
-Jericho is solid, but also a little too amped up as well. It’s nice to see him hit the patented springboard dropkick from the top rope. Then, he immediately botches a springboard over the top. I’m not sure if he was trying an elbow, a spin kick or a moonsault. Everyone should just calm down!
-The crowd boos any attempt Lionheart makes to connect with them. Dusty points out all the intensity on the show. A chop fest supports that theory. Benoit hits a crazy belly-to-back from the ring over the top rope.
-The Crippler looks great and shows some good personality in yelling at his opponent and playing to the crowd. His swan dive headbutt always makes me cringe.
-The future Y2J is getting no support trying to hit the mat in a bow and arrow. He responds with a Tombstone for two and misses the Lionsault, then screeches on a big clothesline and hits a hurricanrana for another two.
-After a snug crotching on the top rope, Benoit ends it.
HOW DOES IT END:
Chris Benoit wins in 14:48 with a top rope belly-to-back suplex
FINAL WORD: That was great as you’d expect and it’s notable because it’s the first time I couldn’t tell what was going to happen with Benoit in the future. I’ve decided to track my own List of Jericho and that list will just be the thing I remember the most. In this case, it’s the dive botch lol.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Benoit gets a big pop for his win and taunting, but we have to keep rolling around.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH- Super Calo vs Rey Mysterio Jr (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: Let’s keep the great bouts and debuts going with Super Calo. What a look. His glasses are cooler than Artemis Cloud Frog’s, but he probably still talks like Salma Hayek (and we have one more reference to go). Brain beats Dusty to a Mary Poppins joke as Rey enters to a good reaction. He is so skinny. Tenay thankfully comes back.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-There are some little jitters on an oversell of an armdrag and powerslam early. Mike explains that Calo’s gimmick is based around a popular rap group in Mexico.
-The ref almost gets in the way of a slingshot powerbomb. Calo hits a sick missile dropkick from the top to the floor. All of these kids are trying to get over, but the crowd is quiet. After a slingshot senton from the ring to the floor, one guy yells out “get him!”
-Mysterio has gotten almost zero offense about eight minutes in. He’s trapped in a surfboard. Is it better to be 100% in your execution and not over like Calo or get reactions while fucking up like Juventud?
-Right on cue, Calo can’t get over the top rope correctly and the ref tries to pull him back in the ring. What is going on with these matches? Rey hits a big dive, then gets caught in mid-air with a dropkick.
-Dusty claims Mysterio won’t be able to get out of bed by the time he’s 30 and claims to be 36 himself. Rey hits a flawlessly amazing springboard hurricanrana on the apron and a springboard follow up to the floor. He’s approaching MVP levels.
-He has locked MVP status with the most amazing finish I’ve seen up to this point.
HOW DOES IT END:
Rey Mysterio Jr retains in 15:48 with a double springboard West Coast Pop
FINAL WORD: The crowd rightfully sat on their hands for a lot of the bout, but the bout was always good at worst.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: WCW TAG TITLE MATCH- The Nasty Boys vs Harlem Heat w/Col. Parker and Sherri (Champs)
BEFORE THE BELL: Still no filler and “time for something completely different” with Sags and Knobbs entering. The pyro scares Dusty. The champs enter and it still feels gross that Parker is their “promoter.” We are back to this feud, huh? The commentators are just laughing and having fun together.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Stevie Ray and Sags start. Sherri’s tripping leads to a big kerfuffle. Knobbs versus Booker are a little better together.
-Pity City is teased before another Sherri distraction and Knobbs gets double teamed. There’s a lot of bells and whistles thus far.
-Knobbs takes a ton of stiff kicks and punches to the head. More Sherri antics with Sags chasing her through the ring. This is exhausting.
-Jerry gets the hot tag after a missed side kick and he’s always a house of fire. Sherri is thrown in again and there’s a very close roll up false finish. Things naturally break down after a great piledriver by Sags. Parker trips Sags up top with the cane and Ray obliterates him with a clothesline.
-Everyone seems tired as Sags takes the heat. He hits the cut off and tags Knobbs in. I have to point out referee Mark Curtis because he’s awesome in reacting to every move and adding while being in the background.
-Nice pumphandle slam into a splash by the Nasties. Parker gets knocked down and that lets Sherri sneak in for the UNPROTECTED object shot.
HOW DOES IT END:
Harlem Heat retain in 15:32 when Booker T pins Brian Knobbs after a cane shot to the head from Sherri.
FINAL WORD: There was too much focus on managers and it was too predictable despite all four men trying really hard.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: A Fall Brawl merch commercial has Ric Flair yelling his ass off. Mike Tenay interviews the Macho Man as the savior of WCW. He already has a title show at Halloween Havoc and he’s going to chop the Giant down and tear out his black heart.
MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: Randy Savage vs The Giant
BEFORE THE BELL: Savage enters with all his usual fanfare. The Giant still enters to the Dungeon music and lighting. Come on, it’s the details! The music finally changes as he charges the ring.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Macho won’t let Giant get in the ring and Nick Patrick is pointed out as the ref again. A slam is attempted on the floor, but of course he gets squashed.
-Giant performs a bunch of big, sloppy moves. The crowd gets distracted by something in the crowd. It’s odd seeing a big man apply a Boston Crab. It’s less odd watching a long bearhug.
-A knee drop is missed and Savage starts going for the legs. He ground the Giant with a decent facebuster from the top rope and actually hits the slam on the second attempt.
-The flying elbow lands and Hollywood Hogan comes down to lure Savage into a trap at the entrance with the Outsiders. Nash hits a chair shot and Patrick is distracted by Giant in the ring the whole time.
HOW DOES IT END:
The Giant wins in 7:47 after chair shots from Kevin Nash and Hollywood Hulk Hogan
FINAL WORD: It was about the storyline over the match, but it had a couple of surprising moments.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: After a Halloween Havoc commercial, the Outsiders’ music is used for the War Games cage to be lowered amidst all the pyro. The WCW team is interviewed by Tenay. Ric Flair is amped up and says the Horsemen are going to kick ass. Arn Anderson is cool as usual. Sting interrupts and Lex wants to hear him out. He claims that it wasn’t him in the limo and he’s not believed by the man that just wanted to hear him out. He’s still a buffoon. Flair psyches him up to wrap it up.
MATCH NUMBER EIGHT: WAR GAMES- Team WCW (Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Lex Luger and ?) vs Team nWo (Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Hollywood Hulk Hogan and ?)
BEFORE THE BELL: Michael Buffer reads the rules to the match and the participants’ names. The teams don’t come out together and stand at ringside like usual. Hall enters first alongside DiBiase. Arn is naturally out first for his team.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Arn’s flurry makes the crowd explode. It settles into a standard battle soon afterwards.
-The timer is accurate thus far. Nick Patrick is somehow the ref inside the cage and threatens to stop the match. That causes the announcers to question him again.
-The coin toss happens backstage offscreen as the spinebuster awkwardly lands. Of course, the heels win and Nash is out next. Arn fights them both until he gets overwhelmed and thrown into the cage hard.
-Lex jumps the gun about 15 seconds early and double clotheslines the Outsiders. No blood really hurts this. Random action makes up every period.
-Hogan is out third for his team and gets double teamed. Heenan is great rooting for the faces for once. There’s no real cohesion to the story or action, but the crowd is still hot amid “We Want Flair” chants. Hulk hits a throwaway leg drop.
-The Nature Boy runs down to a huge ovation and struts in one ring, wanting Hulk to join him. He eventually does and Flair pelvic thrusts at him before hitting with a foreign object and low blowing aplenty. He could be the MVP on impact alone.
-“Sting” enters and it’s blatantly not him by his body language. The crowd kills it right away. He does an okay job impersonating the moves and in-ring mannerisms. The crowd chants “We Want Sting!”
-It’s all nWo with an Outsider’s Edge to Arn and leg drop to Flair and Stinger Splashes all around. The fourth guy for WCW is, of course, the real Sting. He beats the shit out of everyone (especially fake Sting). Everyone takes splashes and Sting yells and points out all the damage. He tells his team to stick it before leaving. Why? I mean, we get it. But still! There’s shaky logic here.
-Luger exaggeratedly sells Hulk’s attacks. Flair tries to fight the attacks off, Arn is down and out and the fake Scorpion is applied complete with an addition by Hulk. Both refs consult and end it.
HOW DOES IT END:
The nWo wins in 18:16 when Lex Luger passes out to the Scorpion Death Lock/headlock combo
FINAL WORD: That was not a War Games befitting the story and build up
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE: Dusty and Heenan try to sell the impact of the loss, but the finish was flat (and that’s typical in War Games). Schiavone covers for Lex as passing out in pain. The beatdown continues and Lex crawls out of the cage and yells for Sting in a hilariously corny way.
-A brawl develops in the aisle and Randy Savage comes out to throw Hulk into the ring. He backs out into the other ring and gets blindsided by Giant and the others. The announcers are doom and gloom following a chokeslam. Elizabeth runs down (again, why?) and begs Hulk to stop. She covers Randy, so they spray paint her. Giant barks at her? Hogan is top tier heel here and the crowd rewards him with a “Hogan Sucks” chant. He mocks their vows and claims that death do they part is coming. He’s been great at the end of PPVs. Trash is thrown into the ring and Heenan and Dusty claim this is the worst things they’ve ever seen. Hogan is gravellier than Cartman’s Dog the Bounty Hunter impression (and we’re done). They eventually spray paint Savage and pose over him. Giant and Hulk talk shit about artistry and movie contracts into the camera before spitting at it and hitting one more chokeslam. The good ref is thrown down and this is getting too long now.
-The announcers on camera sell shock. Rhodes is speechless, Bobby is incredulous and Tony tries to lay it all out. The nWo takes over the booth (Bobby hightails it quick) and Hulk amazingly mocks Dusty. He’s a late MVP threat. The Giant mocks Flair while Nash and Ted put on the headsets and talk about running roughshod and wanting their demands met. Savage is helped out while the winners leave.
THE LAST IMAGE: Randy Savage, Elizabeth and a trainer
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: The impact and character work of Ric Flair and Hollywood Hogan loom large, but Rey Mysterio Jr got the most spectacular spots and managed to be the most flawless in-ring talent at the moment. He’s leading the way in the industry in the most important evolutionary way.
FINAL LVP of PPV: Konnan got spoiled as MVP because Juventud Guerrera was a piss poor dancing partner. Out of all the debuts, his was the weakest because he seemed unprofessional at times, botched like crazy and tripped right away (literally and figuratively)
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Chris Benoit vs Chris Jericho
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Ice Train vs Scott Norton
FINAL THOUGHTS: This show was very stereotypical of WCW’s upcoming era: an amazing undercard coupled with an underwhelming main event scene. The first half wasn’t spotless because of nervous and shaky debuts, but at least it was exciting and full of life (and the spots they hit lead to great matches). The New World Order story is still effective, but the execution is becoming suspect. War Games has lost its luster, but 1996 WCW hasn’t totally yet. MULLET RECOMMENDS
NEXT TIME: Hopefully the world can calm down long enough for me to enjoy Mankind vs Shawn Michaels at In Your House: Mind Games.