It’s one of those times: I’m beyond stressed in everyday life; I’m up late trying to make a nonexistent deadline and I forgot to write an intro when I’m just about done. It feels unfair to a show that is pretty notorious for a couple major reasons you’re about to read out. It’s pretty indicative of WWF in 1996, though. Even when they are being trendy and putting on a good product, it just doesn’t matter.
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 115- WWF IN YOUR HOUSE: MIND GAMES
Written on 5/27/22
HOW WE START: Mankind’s face as one of fear and the potential future champ? Man, he’s getting such a good push. We are told to pray for Shawn Michaels. Todd Pettengill takes over the voiceover to talk about another Undertaker vs Goldust match. These intros are reaching the point of parody. Pettengill doesn’t know half of these words he’s saying. The Mind Games logo (a skull with a Mankind mask) is third rate. Vince McMahon welcomes us to a surprisingly quiet Philadelphia (except a notable ECW chant already). There are kitschy signs behind Vince, Mr. Perfect and Jim Ross setting the tone. The last time they were here, it was King of the Ring 1995. Ouch.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: CARIBBEAN STRAP MATCH- Justin “Hawk” Bradshaw w/Uncle Zeb vs Savio Vega
BEFORE THE BELL: Run it back four months later with Bradshaw, huh? This is a bonus match because he interfered in Savio’s Free for All bout with Marty Jannetty. Kevin Kelly interviews Savio backstage and he’s fired up and calls Hawk a stinky cowboy. He switches to Spanish before saying he’ll whip his butt. He runs right in and gets clobbered without getting tied up.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-The commentators reiterate that the match hasn’t started until they get tied together as Savio gets whipped. They finally get linked and look who you can make out at ringside: Paul Heyman, Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman.
-Another “ECW” chant while Savio gets clocked right by them. Sandman spits beer at Vega and smashes his head with a beer can UNPROTECTED (oh I’m counting that). Vince explains them as guys from a local fed and Sandman is bleeding with a cigarette in his mouth. He’s the first MVP and they all get kicked out. That was perfect.
-This all totally distracts the crowd from a boring ass strap match. A bunch of whips from the face and he thinks the crowd is into him, but they are still reacting to the ECW guys. Harvey Wippleman is an LVP referee as usual.
-Nice cutoff yank by Bradshaw on Savio’s last touch attempt. After a big clothesline, JBH starts to touch corners, but Savio sneaks them in as well. This is just a rinse and repeat finish from the last one, but he gets catapulted via a pull to win.
HOW DOES IT END:
Savio Vega in 7:07
FINAL WORD: That was a pretty weak sequel, but this was all about ECW, so I’m cool with it.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: The next match gets a recap video?!?!
MATCH NUMBER TWO: Jim Cornette vs Jose Lothario
BEFORE THE BELL: In the video, Cornette talks trash and Jose works out in a ring. Jimmy tells lame old jokes and has a tune up match, too. He enters to Vader’s music and wears red and black like his charge. Boy, he is bloated. In the locker room, “Razor Ramon” and “Diesel” jumped Savio Vega from afar. Oh goody, this has started. JR is delivering them tomorrow and gives off heel hints. Corny has live mic work to antagonize his opponent more. Jose enters to Shawn’s theme with no shirt under his HBK bedazzled jacket. I’m surprised he gets a decent reaction.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Jose, all 62 years of him, stops the immediate blindside with some punches and a bounce off the buckle.
-Perfect calls Cornette the Michelin Man and I can’t imagine that fictional character lasting much longer.
HOW DOES IT END:
Jose Lothario wins in 0:57 with two KO punches.
FINAL WORD: That was smartly short, but totally unnecessary particularly for the sight of Jim Cornette in that tight of an outfit.
BEFORE THE BELL: Marc Mero and Faarooq, along with their respective ladies, talk on the Superstars Line before their IC Title finals on Raw. Ron Simmons looks so fed up with that helmet already. Vince McMahon keeps botching word and becomes the leading LVP. Perfect keeps skirting around the Mero stuff and Brian Pillman walks to the ring to a great reaction. Bret Hart cut a promo on him via international TV claiming he lied to the people about appearing on this PPV. Pillman says the town is a sewer filled with drugs and welfare and battered women. His delivery is awesome, but the material is meh. He introduces Owen Hart and I can’t believe they showed this “King of Farts” sign. He claims Bret accepted the fact that Owen is better and is ready to retire. These two are natural together. He claims his brother is scared of the man who has challenged him and comes down next: Stone Cold Steve Austin in his trademark black vest and blue jeans. He surprisingly gets very little pop in smart Philly. Man, look at all of the past, present and future stories in the ring. He says you can put the letter “S” in front of Hitman to get his opinion and doesn’t give a rat’s ass what people think in another MVP level promo. He drops several asses and that gets pops. Strap the rocket to him. Speaking of a rocket strapped: a quick recap of Mark Henry seeing the sights of Philadelphia. Vince is so bad at talking about the clips, the new arena they are inside and setting stuff up.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: TAG TITLE MATCH- The British Bulldog and Owen Hart vs The Smokin’ Gunns w/Sunny (Champs)
BEFORE THE BELL: Bulldog and Owen enter without Cornette. Dok Hendrix is backstage in the first aid room indicating Jim can’t go out after his match and Clarence Mason has him sign some papers. The Gunns enter with Sunny and Billy is more enamored with her than usual. Bart seems frustrated and Vince no sells it while JR tries to tell the story. Her poster descends, but Bulldog and Owen have defaced it. That’s a nice wink to Owen’s prankster ways.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-It’s odd seeing Owen and Bulldog as faces and Davey pumping the crowd up. Mason comes down to support them.
-Vince and Ross bicker about the Razor and Diesel thing while Owen crushes it in the ring, becoming an MVP candidate. Perfect puts over Billy AKA doing his job. Bart and Smith have a nice exchange until Owen hits a great chop block.
-McMahon reads Clarence’s business card while Bart is isolated. Billy breaks up a pin and complains like a teenage girl to the ref. In other words, he once again earns BITCHCAKE status. It’s also odd seeing the Gunns take the heat like they’re the faces.
-Okay, now it makes sense as Bulldog gets blindsided and thrown into the steps by a terribly yelling Billy. The champs hit a convoluted version of Poetry in Motion (only with a clothesline) in the corner.
-The Sidewinder connects, but Mason distracts and allows Owen to hit Billy off the top to a big pop. Afterwards, the Gunns collide and Billy pushes Bart into a finisher. He can’t make the save because Owen runs effective defense.
HOW DOES IT END:
British Bulldog and Owen Hart win the titles in 10:59 when Bulldog pins Bart Gunn with the running powerslam
FINAL WORD: This solid tag match makes me very excited for more Bulldog and Owen bouts.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: The title change gets a huge pop and Sunny is livid. Bart gets yelled at and Billy is very sad. She gets the mic and claims to have given them money, time and “everything” eliciting oohs from the crowd and announcers. She calls them cowboy wannabes and fires them in a tantrum. Billy follows her pleading like a cuck Cyclops in the Bryan Singer X-Men movies (and our reference challenge is James Marsden cuck roles). Paul Bearer and Mankind are interviewed backstage by Kevin Kelly. They blame the Creatures and the Kliq for what’s about to happen. Foley talks misery and destiny and having a nice day in a very shrill manner.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: Jerry Lawler vs Mark Henry
BEFORE THE BELL: The King gets mic work on his way to the ring, but a recap of throwing coffee and slapping his opponent as of late means you can’t hear it. It’s okay because he tells a bad synchronized swim joke and earns LVP honors. Henry comes out to a theme I don’t recognize. That’s a lot of red, white and blue. He frisbees his hat into the crowd and gets taunted by Lawler.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Chants of “Burger King” and “USA” ring out while Lawler stalls. He’s better than Larry Zbyszko at it. A headlock is reversed into a wristlock complete with heelish screaming.
-Mark is stiff with every transition or hold, but it’s not bad for his first match. I didn’t say it was good. His press slam needs fine tuning.
-Jerry takes a wild dive through the ropes and basically takes a header into the rail/concrete. He sneaks a couple of foreign objects shots to turn the tide for a brief period, but some counter knees and punches lead to the finish.
HOW DOES IT END:
Mark Henry wins in 5:13 with an over the shoulder backbreaker submission
FINAL WORD: He’s already better than Bill Kazmaier, but it still wasn’t great. Lawler’s tired antics didn’t help.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Leif Cassidy randomly runs in and gets thrown out. Marty Jannetty follows and experiences the same thing. Then, Hunter Hearst Helmsley tries! Oof, definitely not the guy here. He does do something I didn’t expect: he gets press slammed over the top rope onto the New Rockers. Henry gives some big celebratory motions and receives big pyro. That contract is big and long. Vince mentions next month’s In Your House and Buried Alive has already been announced as the first unsanctioned match in WWF history.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: FINAL CURTAIN MATCH- Goldust w/Marlena vs The Undertaker
BEFORE THE BELL: The history between these two is summarized with highlights from their last two In Your House matches. Goldust is given partial credit for Bearer’s turn and he’s already in the ring when we come back live. The rules are simply there must be a winner by pinfall. At this point, he’s like Marsden’s prince character in Enchanted with Marlena (and we have one more to go). Taker comes out by himself for the first time and Vince is already calling him the greatest phenom in WWF history. He has different mannerisms and vibes to him here and we get right to it.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Marlena’s outfit close up won’t get a complaint from me. It’s all Taker early and he no sells any offense.
-Taker picks Marlena up as she distracts him to allow Goldust to throw some gold dust in the face and turn the tide. The replay in slo-mo is a nice visual.
-Why is the ref counting when Taker is on the floor if only pinfalls can win? Vince reiterating the rules doesn’t help. The match isn’t bad, but these two have pedestrian chemistry.
-Vince randomly talks about NCAA wrestling? The loss of the urn and the following difficulties of Taker are mentioned, but he finally battles back with his patented flurry of punches. There’s so much gold in his hair and it probably pisses him off.
-The lame turnbuckle camera barely shows anything. Goldust is caught on top and chokeslammed down awkwardly. After a throat slash, Taker ends up (but the head is tucked and it doesn’t look like death).
HOW DOES IT END:
The Undertaker in 10:23 with the Tombstone
FINAL WORD: Please no more of these two together. The crowd was happy and there’s nothing bad about it, but it was still tedious to me.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Goldust exits quickly and Taker celebrates and poses. His lighting takes forever to come on. JR is much better at promoting upcoming events compared to bored LVP Vince. Kevin Kelly interviews Shawn Michaels backstage and he’s nervous because he’s not about to wrestle, but fight the “wackiest cat.” Face promo Shawn makes me sad for how neutered it is. The commentators are better at mentioning how jittery and cracking his voice seems.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: WWF TITLE MATCH- Mankind w/Paul Bearer vs Shawn Michaels w/Jose Lothario (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: Druids wheel a casket out and Bearer walks down to unveil Mankind in the casket holding the urn, rocking back and forth. Philadelphia’s ladies love HBK and no one is unhappy in the smart crowd about him. Vince goes into overdrive mode about his popularity surpassing all of the Philly sports teams. You can see Foley in the best shape of his life.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-It’s all Mankind quickly and the clothesline over the top rope gets an “ECW” chant. He tries to expose the concrete, but gets the mat dropkicked into his face and he’s stomped underneath. Shawn follows with a backward crossbody to continue the hot start. Mick is pulled down onto the exposed concrete. It may be hard to track dumb things here.
-After a top rope elbow, Shawn sets up Sweet Chin Music. Mankind amazingly leaps from the ring to avoid it and rocks on the floor with the urn. What an MVP.
-There’s a minor moment akin to Vader’s botch where Mankind is out of position for a crossbody and Shawn gets down and yells “come on” at him. Mick doesn’t take it like Leon and smartly brawls to reset the action. That’s like James Marsden sticking up for Sonic…only to get crushed by Shemar Moore in the sequel (and this weird reference challenge is complete).
-The Spanish announce table is moved outside and a brawl leads to Mankind’s legs being grossly suplexed into the steel steps. THAT’S gotta be the dumbest thing. At least his knee is focused on now.
-Shawn’s intensity is pointed out when he piefaces Earl Hebner. He’s such a dick. He applies the Figure Four and hits a dropkick to the knee. Mankind is selling it all beautifully. A hurricanrana is countered into a Stun Gun to change the momentum. Foley beats his knee up with some kind of object to wake it up.
-A good back and forth is punctuated with two tree of woe elbows by Mankind. He crashes into the steps when missing a knee and then gets drop toed into them (protected surprisingly). They engage in a good suplex block sequence on the apron.
-Mankind’s head is trapped in the ropes, but he applies the Mandible Claw in it in an amazing visual. It’s applied on the floor again, but it’s countered with a throw into the rail and Hugo Savinovich.
-Foley punches a chair, then has his leg taken out with a swipe and his hand is struck with the chair once more for good measure. It’s not his head, so I’m happy. The hand becomes a focus like the knee was.
-After a rebound, Mankind hits an elbow to the floor and a baseball slide neckbreaker. The ref has lost all control. The double arm DDT gets a believable two count as does the tights pull piledriver. He starts pulling his hair out and ramming himself into the buckle and mat before throwing chairs into the ring.
-The pace becomes blistering around 25 minutes somehow. HBK’s tank is amazing. He’s crotched on the top rope, but counters Mankind’s attack with a crossbody from the top to the table on the floor. Jim Ross says their backs might be broken. Vince jumps off headset to talk to the ref.
-Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music off a chair into another chair that is sent into Mankind’s face UNPROTECTED. I love that spot. Vader is fucking late on his run-in, so Shawn gets up from the count and Mankind basically kicks out as well. The bell sadly rings.
HOW DOES IT END:
Shawn Michaels retains via DQ at 26:23
FINAL WORD: This is every bit as good as the legend says. Mick Foley is right in his feeling that this was his best match for quite some time. The lame finish works because it protects everyone and advances the stories.
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE: Bearer hits Shawn in the back of the head UNPROTECTED with the urn. Sid fights Vader off with truly awful punches. The officials force them back and Mankind knocks Shawn out with the Claw. He wants the casket, but Taker is inside and unleashes an attack to cause the place to go beserk. They stalk to the back and the official word is announced. Perfect can’t believe the champ survived again. Vince growls as usual. Michaels is all smiles and thanks the people while exhaustingly posing. He shows off a heart tattoo he has on his hip/butt? Please don’t. He takes a lap around the ring and Vince shakes his head and says “unbelievable” while walking by. Perfect gives him a look and tries not to smile. Shawn gets kisses and flowers. This is a Hogan-like masturbatory exit. Vince signs off and a recap video plays with a ton of main event highlights.
THE LAST IMAGE: Shawn Michaels
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: Nobody’s character work is above Mankind’s right now and he’s doing it on a main event level. It feels so good to see one of the good guys make it this far.
FINAL LVP of PPV: I cannot wait until Vince McMahon is off the headset. He’s overbearing, incorrect all the time and obnoxious putting over his own product.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Shawn Michaels vs Mankind
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Mark Henry vs Jerry Lawler
FINAL THOUGHTS: This is the rare case of a main event solely raising the status of a show into a different category. Before the final match, it was a standard (or even subpar) In Your House, but it felt important because of the conclusion. Stories like Sunny, Stone Cold, ECW and Cornette were significant positives as well. Cutting edge stuff is happening, but we are still far from being great. It’s good for now and that’s okay. MULLET RECOMMENDS
NEXT TIME: Keep the In Your House train rolling with the aforementioned Buried Alive.