This is the moment we’ve been waiting for: the official start of the Monday Night War on PPV. Like D-Day, like Princess Di, like 9/11: you know where you were when Hulk Hogan turned heel.
I was living in my childhood home on Archwood Ave in Akron, Ohio. My parents were on the back porch enjoying the nice July night and I was inside enjoying the PPV that was going to unveil who was joining “Razor Ramon” and “Diesel” to tear down WCW. When my former all-time favorite strolled down the aisle, I didn’t think anything of it. Surely, the big heel partner of Hall and Nash was next to pummel the Hulkster and set him up as the ultimate hero for the story moving forward.
Then, he hit the ropes ever so slightly and dropped that red and yellow leg. I stood up from the floor and couldn’t believe it. I ran to my parents on the porch because I knew they would even want to see this.
“Mom! Dad! Hulk Hogan is a bad guy now!”
Sure enough, they couldn’t believe what I just said and scurried inside to watch it unfold. It’s crazy in retrospect that I missed 15-20 seconds of the most famous turn in wrestling history in the moment, but it’s not because it was something etched in time that needed to be seen by as many eyes as possible. I’ll never forget that moment.
It’s fitting that I watching this show 26 years later in Akron, Ohio once again. My mom and I are visiting for a family event and I made sure I carved out the time before bed to enjoy this in my hotel room. I’m in the bed and I’m just watching on my phone. It doesn’t matter. This show can be enjoyed on a screen of any size.
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 110- WCW BASH AT THE BEACH 1996
Written on 4/10/22
HOW WE START: A shark fin and images of the Hostile Takeover. The infamous Outsiders music plays while everything up to this point is shown. The WCW team in Sting’s face paint is such a mood. I’m on my phone in a hotel bed right now AKA this is hard. Tony Schiavone talks in big terms and scope alongside Dusty Rhodes and Bobby Heenan. They notably mention that Eric Bischoff has arrived yet. Is he already part of the plan? Brain is totally neutered without being able to cheer on the heels. Dusty sets the tone really well.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: Psychosis vs Rey Mysterio Jr.
BEFORE THE BELL: Psychosis has the same theme at The Creatures!!! He has badass white gear and a cool presence. Mike Tenay joins the team when Rey enters to a good pop. His backless mask causes Heenan to make a Demi Moore joke. KEEP HER NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! (How topical! Here’s an Oscar controversies reference challenge then!)
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Some chain submissions lead to a couple of early sloppy moments. Psychosis locks in a sweet scissors lock with his legs behind Rey’s head. Someone should steal this now.
-SICK DIVE by Psychosis spiking his head into the rail after a great series of back-and-forth counters.
-Referee Jimmy Jett is the first LVP for not matching the pace of the action while Psychosis is the first MVP with some insane air on a guillotine leg drop for the count of two.
-The commentators keep talking about Bischoff’s disappearance as Rey takes the heat. He battles back with a monkey flip on the apron into the giant pole set up on the post, then a hurricanrana on the floor. A follow up West Coast Pop only get a two count.
-Man, Psychosis is AWESOME. He hits a sweet pop-up stun gun and reverse DDT. Then, he hits a top rope senton to the FLOOR. He definitely felt that one in the morning.
-The crowd really starts to get into it with a cartwheel headscissors and top rope hurricanrana off the apron by Mysterio.
-Jesus! Rey hits a twisting Asai moonsault to the floor and it makes Heenan hilariously go, “WHAT?!” Rey hits his legs on the rail performing the move. This is AFTER a springboard dropkick causing his opponent to slide to the floor. He rebounds with a great sitout powerbomb catching Rey off another springboard attempt. This is impossible to capture all of the action.
-Splash Mountain NOPE! What impact and in many different ways.
HOW DOES IT END:
Rey Mysterio Jr wins in 15:18 with a top rope hurricanrana counter
FINAL WORD: Is that the greatest opener in PPV history? Almost certainly WCW’s best.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Tony, Dusty and Bobby quote Mel Allen and Harry Caray during the replay, thusly ruining all the coolness of the bout. Rey is so over just from wrestling already and Bobby is unable to call any of the moves on the replay. Backstage, Mean Gene interviews Konnan and he recaps the end of the last match. Then, he discusses his travel before his match with Ric Flair and naturally stumbles over his words. He wraps up the promo by threatening to clothesline the ladies at Flair’s side.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: CARSON CITY SILVER DOLLAR MATCH- Big Bubba w/Jimmy Hart vs John Tenta
BEFORE THE BELL: Bubba’s theme is dubbed over horribly. I have no idea what the significance of the Carson City silver dollar is, but there appears to be a ton of them in a sock up WAY TOO HIGH on that pole. Tenta walks down without music and he still has the wretched haircut.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-After some initial stalling, the big men slowly collide and Bubba almost falls on his head against the back of the ring.
-Both men “try” to get the pole AKA stand on the second or third rope. The former Shark takes a belly-to-back off the top like a big bag of sand. Bubba gets crotched twice.
-Tenta tries to unhook the pole and Bubba chokes him with a belt. Bubba tapes him to the ropes and whips his belly with the belt. He tries to cut the rest of John’s hair, but eats a low blow and Quake cuts himself free. He starts cutting the pole down, but gets stopped.
-Bubba hits a spinebuster and makes Hart climb all the way up to retrieve the sock. Tenta powerslams Bubba and Jimmy doesn’t know he’s sliding down into the waiting hands of his former man. He gets pushed and impressively swings on the pole before one more impressive swing of the sock to a big pop.
HOW DOES IT END:
John Tenta wins at 8:53 with a silver dollar sock shot
FINAL WORD: That was a rough eight minutes, but the crowd dug the end and it could have been much worse.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Tenta puts coins on Bubba’s eyes like he’s dead. After the replay, we see Tony with a stupid lei talking about the main event and not using hyperbole for once on wrestling changing tonight. Gene interviews Macho Man, Sting and Lex Luger. Randy doesn’t care who the third man is, Lex talks too much and Sting uses the unknown as the basis for the best part of the entire promo.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: TAPED FIST LORD OF THE RING MATCH- Jim Duggan vs Diamond Dallas Page (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: I have so much bootleg Nirvana to listen to. DDP rocking the shit out of that teal while Duggan is fucking way too over. He may be my least favorite of all time now.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-After one shoulder tackle, Page stumbles out of the ring and jaws with the fans. He trips Duggan and tapes his legs together around the post. There’s too much tape on this show.
-Dallas is MVP worthy once again for taking his usual beating and doing the Terry Funk rope bounce before sliding down the ringside steps.
-After a big crotching on the top rope, Hacksaw pulls DDP’s head down by the hair, then throws his head into all the buckles. Dusty doesn’t know why Jim doesn’t have tape anymore because he missed it being cut off. It causes the actual finish to almost be undersold by the commentators. It sure was undersold by Duggan.
HOW DOES IT END:
DDP wins in 5:41 with the Diamond Cutter
FINAL WORD: Bless DDP for getting through this.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Hacksaw is already up and tapes his fist back to KO Page. Okerlund interviews Jimmy Hart, Taskmaster and Giant. Sullivan claims home court (makes sense for the Dungeon to be in Florida) and refutes being the weak link on the team. The Giant talks “elite” like he knows he’s going to AEW decades later. Gene makes fun of Jimmy’s teeth to wrap it up. At the entryway, Lee Marshall interviews Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit. If they win the match later on, the Horsemen get a WCW Title match on Nitro the next night. The Enforcer, wearing glasses, puts over the WCW team ahead of their main event. There’s very odd face/heel dynamics here. You can tell what awaits Benoit’s future with his terrible “silent but violent” line over and over. It is a very forced, LVP level promo.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: FOUR MAN DOG COLLAR MATCH- Public Enemy vs Nasty Boys
BEFORE THE BELL: Man, we are rolling out all the stipulations tonight. Public Enemy bring a table out and the announce team argue over the definition of “plunder.” As the Nasty Boys enter, Dusty hits the nail right on the head: since Rey, nothing has been pretty. The set for this show is great in case I haven’t mentioned it yet.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-The double feature is rolled out immediately with chain swinging and brawling on the floor. This is already a bigger mess than Rob Lowe singing and dancing with Snow White (one more reference to go).
-The unprotected tally has begun with trash cans and lids. The final total ends up being Johnny Grunge with eight, Knobbs and Sags with three and Rocco Rock somehow protects himself. I’m not counting the rubber shark that’s used. Dusty is VERY excited about it.
-Rhodes and Heenan are cute trading beach puns. “Say Wipeout!” A surfboard, life preserver and sand are all used. Oh yeah and plenty of chairs. Rocco hits a clumsy ass dive off the lifeguard chair.
-Knobbs is an LVP candidate for being way too dangerous with his object swinging and falling. Somehow, Sags pulling the lifeguard chair down is more organized. I must say: it’s impressive doing all of this tied to the neck of another person.
-Sloppy piledriver on the floor, sloppy elbow from the rail through a table, sloppy slop slop slop.
-They finally make it back in the ring along with an upside-down table. Knobbs almost gets shish kabobbed and Rock bounces off the table when getting pulled off the top rope. Sags bounces off Rocco and the table with an elbow. This Japanese table totally kills the crowd.
-Grunge gets hung over the top rope and, after some scary entanglement, they finally get this over with.
HOW DOES IT END:
The Nasty Boys win in 11:26 when Jerry Sags pins Rocco Rock after a clothesline with the chain and an elbow drop
FINAL WORD: Schiavone said it: “this was a mess.” It was a mess that had me glued for every single second.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Of course, all four men continue brawling after the bell. Dusty calls for someone to use a cinder block. The table is finally broken by Sags and Rocco elbows him in the middle of the broken table. Heenan just laughs. Mean Gene is backstage with the cops securing the Outsiders’ locker room. All of this is killing time, but setting a great tone.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH- Disco Inferno vs Dean Malenko (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: Never mind the tone, it’s DISCO FEVER! Look at the presentation for him! The lights, the gold record, the orange gear! He’s a cruiserweight like I’m Karl Malone. He dances like a glorious fool and cuts a promo that makes me believe he’s an oblivious face that’s actually a heel. Malenko enters all business (duh) and makes a beeline to slap Disco in the face. Lucky guy.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-The champ takes it to the floor right away and throws his challenger into the post, showing great fire. He kips up and rightfully destroys Disco. He gets the MVP nod with a devastating brainbuster that surprisingly gets kicked out of.
-Bischoff is the conversation again while Disco is twisted and turned. His resilience is put over and he earns fan favor with great fire on a comeback. Look at this! What is happening?
-Tony explaining to Dusty the word “thwart” is a treasure. All three men are having fun and setting the tone wonderfully. I have no complaints.
-Inferno checks his hair before a pin and Bobby says he needs a manager. He realizes his error again after a dance and gets a good false finish off a cradle counter of the cloverleaf.
-After a Tiger Bomb dead center, the Iceman sits down low and brings the crowd out of their seats.
HOW DOES IT END:
Dean Malenko wins in 12:04 to retain the title with the Texas Cloverleaf
FINAL WORD: That was a quiet gem for both men.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Brain is so fucking good at calling replays.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: Joe Gomez vs Steve McMichael w/Debra McMichael
BEFORE THE BELL: An awkward transition occurs before a horribly dubbed introduction for Joe Gomez. Look at this fucking jobber. Schiavone knows him well? He might be an LVP on looks alone. Never mind that shit, here comes Mongo! Debra holds not Pepe and doesn’t have her puppies yet. The commentators really put over his toughness.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-What an absolutely abysmal first interaction. Mongo just chops the shit out of Gomez in retaliation. Every rope run and skirmish is cringe.
-These are some WALTER chops from Mongo. Now, I want THAT match. No, I don’t because everything else McMichael does looks LVP levels of bad.
-WORST BACKBREAKER EVER! Tony makes sure to mention it’s Steve’s third match. Joe hits a slow jawbreaker and the new Horsemen takes an exaggerated bump.
-A reverse neckbreaker scares the shit out of me. Every move scares the shit out of me.
-Gomez is Native American now? He does some chops and dances like one and tries a bad sunset flip before we go into the finish. WHY DID THEY GIVE HIM THAT FINISH?!?! It is the only move he did right.
HOW DOES IT END:
Steve McMichael wins in 6:44 with the Tombstone
FINAL WORD: Penalty on number 76, unnecessary wrestling.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: The poodle is called Ditka. Mean Gene interviews Ric Flair, Woman and Elizabeth. The Nature Boy yells nonsense and starts singing “La Cucaracha” a bunch. What has happened to him in 1996? Gene flirts with the girls about money and partying. He naturally puts his arm around Woman and cops a feel. Flair needles Savage at the end of the promo. Man, I hated that segment. Konnan was a total afterthought.
MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: US TITLE MATCH- Ric Flair w/Woman and Elizabeth vs Konnan (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: The champ enters with his tamest outfit of the year. People don’t care. They want Ric and they get him with the girls. It’s all the typical pomp and circumstance.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-A legitimate handshake to start. Interesting. Konnan shows Ric up soon afterwards and Woman is constantly yelling like a banshee.
-Flair gets to chopping, but the champ takes it and mostly applies a surfboard. So far, this hasn’t been great even though Konnan has been on point more than usual.
-Liz gets knocked down on accident from a Konnan apron dive! I think that’s the first time I’ve seen her bump. Woman shakes the ropes right in front of Nick Patrick and then gets in the ring behind his back to kick Konnan low to a big reaction.
-Good sequence of back-and-forth chops leading to the corner flip and a springboard dropkick to the apron. The master of the Figure Four winds up in the hold to a big pop.
-Ric goes to the top and is CAUGHT, continuing his bad streak. A weird abdominal stretch pin leads to another distraction and a lengthy set up for Woman to hit Konnan with the heel of her shoe. Nick Patrick is such an unbelievably bad ref in both kayfabe and real life.
HOW DOES IT END:
Ric Flair wins the title in 15:39 with a heel shot to the head and his feet on the ropes for leverage
FINAL WORD: That was pretty okay.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Mean Gene is outside the Outsiders dressing room and the third voice he hears is familiar to him. He asks Tony for any ideas and Heenan wants him to pay the police off for information. More questions about Eric Bischoff are asked.
MATCH NUMBER EIGHT: WCW TITLE SHOT TAG MATCH- Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit vs The Taskmaster and The Giant w/Jimmy Hart
BEFORE THE BELL: The Horsemen’s third entrance of the night is interrupted by a Dungeon attack from behind. Arn takes an UNPROTECTED shot from Sullivan and Mongo hits Giant with the briefcase, leading to a chase and a two-on-one to begin the match.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-The Giant comes back quickly and it’s so weird that the Dungeon are treated like faces basically.
-Sullivan takes a big beating, but the crowd is behind it because they want to see the Giant tagged in. Every little interference he makes gets a pop and looks cool (especially when he catches Benoit in mid-air.)
-Benoit should be lucky Mongo was so bad on this show because he would be in the LVP lead. He just seems off. Yet, Arn botches a slingshot and belly-to-back spot.
-HOT tag to the Giant and the Horsemen bail right away. Arn gets stuck while Chris and Kevin fight to the beach set and broadcast stage. There’s a rare slam in front of the commentators. Meanwhile…
HOW DOES IT END:
The Dungeon of Doom win in 8:02 when The Giant pins Arn Anderson with a chokeslam
FINAL WORD: What an odd story and affair.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Benoit flies offstage onto Sullivan in the sand and catches him with an UNPROTECTED chair shot that was attempted to be protected. The Giant left again, so the Horsemen beat Taskmaster up until Woman comes down and calls it off. Oh no…this isn’t fun anymore. Giant finally returns to run them off and carries his leader back over his shoulder. Cute. After that, it’s time. Everyone is standing and the commentators are amped.
MATCH NUMBER NINE: HOSTILE TAKEOVER MATCH- The Outsiders and a Mystery Partner vs Sting, Lex Luger and Randy Savage
BEFORE THE BELL: One more video package recaps everything. It’s still crazy to me that Kevin Nash came back with what he dealt with before. The adjective botch is edited out. It’s no Adele Dazeem or La La Land for Best Picture, but it’s still legendary (and the reference challenge is done). Cops, baseball bats, tickets bought. All epic shit. The third man is obvious in retrospect because nobody was big enough. Michael Buffer sets the stage and it’s the first time it feels warranted. Hall and Nash walk out to the song from the video and get a HUGE pop in their iconic red and black gear. I love Buffer talks in the moment as only the two of them walk out and I love that he calls them “interlopers.” Sting’s theme plays and gets pyro, but stops for Mean Gene to come out and ask them where the third man is. He’s here, ready, but not needed yet. Team WCW enters finally and the announcers have chills.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Lots of stalling and time killing early. Heenan thinks the third man could be Dusty. The action finally starts with Hall vs Luger. The Outsiders aren’t being called by any name yet. Lex’s head gets stuck in the corner for a Stinger Splash attempt and he’s taken out. This is a great red herring early and it evens the odds.
-A gurney takes the Total Package out with a ton of people. This is overbooked and gets some boos, but it’s sold great. Schiavone finally says “Hall and Nash” and the match resets with Sting vs Hall and a big brawl to turn the crowd back.
- “Diesel” chants on some interference to Macho Man for the heels to take over briefly. Dusty just repeats “who be bad now” 15 times when Savage gets some punches off.
-Nash reverts to his sloppy self in a couple of moments, but the announcers are great at being biased and asking to forget about the rules at this point.
-Sting takes a prolonged beating and I have to consider Schiavone as an MVP just for being desperate and wanting to resort to anything for a win.
-As a match…this isn’t very good lol. It’s merely a boring beatdown of Sting, Savage running around aimlessly and the Outsiders just coasting.
-After a face rally, Savage tags in and goes expectedly nuts. It picks up in this stretch, but a double axe to the groin stops the momentum.
-“HULKAMANIA!” “YEAH BUT WHOSE SIDE IS HE ON?!?” He always knew the man was evil. “Hulk…Hulk HULK!”
-The place becomes unglued in such an odd way. As Hulk Hogan continues to drop legs on his best friend, Schiavone has a really bad line about kicking his rear end. Bobby is great and one final leg drop leads to Hall counting the illegitimate pin.
HOW DOES IT END:
No Contest in 17:47
FINAL WORD: It was never about the match; it was merely about the following.
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE: Hulk’s demeanor and cockiness are great right away. There are whistles, boos, “Hogan” chants and all the trash. Tony says this was premeditated from 1994 and Heenan continues to be awesome. Security is keeping people at bay as Mean Gene gets in the ring. Hulk asks him to “tell these people to shut up” and immediately earns MVP. He flexes with Hall and Nash and calls this the New World Order of wrestling, brother. He’s a genius in the best and worst way. Who knows about New York better than him? He made that place rich. There’s so much trash hitting them. Hulk is bored and wants to destroy everything. Gene asks him to look at all the crap in the ring and Hogan says it represents the fans. “Stick it, brother!” This is the promo of his life and it makes total sense. He says Bischoff would still be selling meat in Minnesota without him. As good as the Austin 3:16 promo is, this is its equal (even when he fucks the nWo name up). He grabs Gene at the end of the promo as a threat while Tony says we’ve seen the end of Hulkamania and tells Hogan to go to hell. One last pose and we are done.
THE LAST IMAGE: Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: I’m really sorry, Psychosis. The final promo was the crux of this whole story and Hulk Hogan hit a grand slam. It’s crazy that this somehow may be his apex mountain moment right here.
FINAL LVP of PPV: This was your destiny, Steve McMichael.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Rey Mysterio Jr vs Psychosis
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Steve McMichael vs Joe Gomez
FINAL THOUGHTS: Look, you know this ends with a positive review. It’s arguably the most important PPV to this point. It’s a classic. The show leading up to the ultimate moment is still very good. There are a couple of real stinkers, but everything is so wonderfully conceptualized and executed. The stage is now set for the greatest lightning in a bottle success in wrestling history. MULLET RECOMMENDS
NEXT TIME: After two back-to-back pivotal events, I’m glad we have a calm down in the next In Your House: International Incident.