Mullet's Retro Diary 105: In Your House-Good Friends, Better Enemies

Man, there’s so many reasons why this show is so important.

1.      I’m pretty sure that this is the last time I ever watched wrestling with my sibling. I went over their importance to me, and my connection to wrestling, in the 1993 Royal Rumble diary. I’ll highlight the vivid memory I have when it happens later on.

2.      This is the first title defense of my all-time favorite wrestler (at the time of the show) and my emotions were HIGH worried about what would happen.

3.      It’s also the first In Your House that had a specific name and it immediately made the show feel more important. This will be the norm going forward.

4.      It’s the last WWF show featuring Diesel and Kevin Nash (as portrayed by the men that originated the roles) and this serves as the seismic shift beginning.

5.      I watched this show three days before Scott Hall sadly passed away. It’s absolutely wild to me that this period of my retro diary coincides with that tragic loss. It will put the whole thing into some crazy context I’m not ready for.

I think that’s enough, right? Can it live up to all of that?

PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 105: WWF IN YOUR HOUSE-GOOD FRIENDS, BETTER ENEMIES

Written on 3/11/22

HOW WE START: The typical title card and another serious black and white video with the most verbose explanation of Diesel’s turn and HBK’s emotions heading into their match. It’s a bunch of shit about glasses being half empty and half full. The In Your House theme remains as an animated helicopter drops bombs on Omaha, NE. After some pyro, I already notice a “Gaydust” sign and something about the dreaded “f” word in the back. I’m not talking about fuck and I wish I was. Jerry Lawler and Vince McMahon welcome us.

MATCH NUMBER ONE: Owen Hart and the British Bulldog w/Jim Cornette and Clarence Mason vs Ahmed Johnson and Jake Roberts

BEFORE THE BELL: Camp Cornette enters while Vince talks about a massive traffic jam outside (old NWA tricks, huh?) Jake attacking Davey Boy with a DDT and snake in Germany is the set up for this. Roberts is backstage, already wet and talking over Vince as he’s asked questions. He walks to the ring and looks like shit. Mason has some kind of injunction regarding the snake. Jake just rips it up and unleashes his pet on the managers and ref. Cornette faints and the snake is finally taken back to the locker room. Jimmy is our first MVP with falsetto fear waking up. Jake comes back down with Ahmed in tow, fist taped up. He’s already injured? This is apparently an impromptu tag match.

WHAT STANDS OUT

-The crowd is hot for Ahmed and Davey’s fear/antics of avoiding any contact and getting Owen back into the ring constantly.

-Diana Smith looks on in the crowd and some kind behind her with a Raptors jersey makes a funny face. The DDT is constantly evaded.

-Ahmed tries a test of strength, then hits a clothesline accidentally to the ribs. Boy, he is riveting. At least he’s better at selling and giving press slams than Warrior.

-Jake starts taking the heat. Lawler is being his more annoying self with too many jokes early and a weird attitude. Of course, he follows up his best appearance with an immediate LVP case.

-Jake takes punishment for a long stretch featuring typical rest holds and cutoffs. He gets the hot tag and Ahmed is FUCKING AMPED. He almost punches the ref and spinebusters Bulldog out of his boots. Fuck it, he could be the MVP. Why did he tag Jake back in already?

-Davey Boy finds Cornette’s racket at ringside and hits Roberts in the leg three times. Then, he just gets turned over and looks weird.

HOW DOES IT END:

British Bulldog and Owen Hart win in 13:47 when Bulldog submits Jake Roberts with a single leg lock

FINAL WORD: Besides the ending, the crowd was happy and I have nothing negative to say. It certainly won’t be remembered tomorrow.

THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Marc Mero and The Kid talk on the hotline after their match on the Free for All. Nice shitty goatee, Pac. King has already turned on Sable’s looks.

MATCH NUMBER TWO: IC TITLE MATCH- Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust w/Marlena and Bodyguard (Champ)

BEFORE THE BELL: Goldust is apparently injured and boy, are we about to know it. The random burly bodyguard is the former Mantaur. On the Free for All, Marlena blew smoke and dust at Warrior and he just yelled and beat his chest. Dustin’s knee is heavily taped and a pre-show chase is to blame. Warrior runs out with streaky pyro and the crowd loves him. That’s a lot of pyro for Omaha! Danny McBride is probably yelling “big ass titties” backstage (and thus begins our Tropic Thunder reference challenge). He takes a lot of time to pose and finish his entrance, so you know he’s gassed and the match will be short. King keeps talking in bad movie puns.

WHAT STANDS OUT

-The bell rings and Goldust avoids Warrior on the floor. Warrior still has his jacket on and grabs Marlena’s cigar, beginning to smoke it. OMG. The ref isn’t even counting.

-Now, Warrior has the director’s chair in the ring and primps his hair. Then, he takes the wig and robe, but doesn’t put them on. THE BELL RANG JUST IN CASE YOU FORGOT.

-That is a bonafide “faggot” chant that Warrior is helping to orchestrate. I’m so appalled. This was only 25 years ago. Goldust gets the mic and threatens to kiss everyone if they don’t shut up. That’s sadly great heel work. Warrior’s LVP case for unconvincingly smoking a cigar are hurt by all of the bad Lawler movie puns and they are really plentiful.

-Warrior offers the robe and chair and gives the cigar back. The champ sits down and preens. There hasn’t been one move. They start to share the cigar as Vince asks, “what’s going on here?” Goldust gets his hand burnt and he’s finally clotheslined out of his chair. Then, he just leaves.

HOW DOES IT END:

Ultimate Warrior wins by countout at 7:45

FINAL WORD: That’s wasn’t a match. That was a hate crime (on my eyes and in actuality). Totally disgusting on a promotional level and a decency level.

THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Warrior no sells the guard and hits him with 3 clotheslines before disrobing him and slamming him. Vince questions the announcement of this being a “bout.” Warrior puts on his first of many stupid hats during this run, then the wig. Good lord, what a race this will be between him and Lawler’s 9,000 Leonard Maltin references.

-Dok Hendrix reports as British Bulldog is livid outside Shawn Michaels’ dressing room. It’s something to do with his wife. The announcers discuss the IC Title “match” before they get interrupted.

MATCH NUMBER THREE: Vader w/Jim Cornette vs Razor Ramon

BEFORE THE BELL: Vader’s theme as an interruption always works for me. His attack on Yoko from Raw is shown. Razor enters to a sorta muted response. Does Omaha know he’s leaving? Vince still sells him like a big deal and says he looks good in a VERY offensive Hispanic accent.

WHAT STANDS OUT

-Power game and taunting by Vader early. He pummels Razor and targets his ribs.

-Razor battles back with punches and a big clothesline. Vader almost accidentally gets counted out and stalls until he comes back in to get the advantage.

-Vince loves calling him the “Mastodon” and then I remembered he tried to make it his full name. The Vader Bomb connects and Razor kicks out. WOW. He’s even put over strongly on his way out.

-Ramon is impressive with his strength on his suplexes and Vader is impressive on his kickouts. That’s highlighted by a catching powerslam and flying bulldog. This is one last (probably futile) MVP attempt for The Bad Guy. He tries the Edge, but can’t hold him up even with the help of the ropes.

-He’s thinking Vadersault, but it’s blocked with an Electric Chair Drop. Nice! This is the memory I remember with my sibling as she was rooting for Razor Ramon and implored him to “put your fucking pinky on him!”

-One more Edge is thwarted and that’s a series wrap on Razor Ramon.

HOW DOES IT END:

Vader wins in 14:49 with a butt drop

FINAL WORD: That was clean as a whistle and very entertaining (and underrated).

THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Dok interviews the heels and tells them that Yoko will be back to wrestle Vader at the next PPV. They freak out and Cornette jumps back into the MVP lead with threats, passion and a Margot Kidder reference. Then, the Undertaker is ONLINE! Paul Bearer is thankfully dictating. A quick WWF Store commercial ends with a weird edit into our next match.

MATCH NUMBER FOUR: WWF TAG TITLE MATCH- The Godwinns w/Hillbilly Jim vs The Bodydonnas w/Sunny (Champs)

BEFORE THE BELL: The Godwinns are already in the ring and the Bodydonnas are almost done with their entrance. This is a rematch of their WrestleMania Free for All tournament final. Sunny gets mic time and black is her color. Phineas Godwinn (who has debuted in case I haven’t made it clear) is smitten with her. He looks like he’d fit into a Fatties sequel (and we have one more reference to go). King says he wishes the kids in the front row were Oscar Mayer weiners. Why, so he can put them in his mouth?!?!

WHAT STANDS OUT

-Henry spits in his hand to get ready and King is full with lame Arkansas jokes. He’s back in the LVP lead. He claims Sunny has been around more than a carousel in a totally out of character moment. Meanwhile, HOG invents John Cena’s AA. No worries, Lawler kills the momentum by fucking up a backseat joke.

-HOG might be another MVP to consider with a great reverse powerbomb/German suplex. He’s an underrated big guy. It doesn’t help that Phineas is so bad in contrast.

-The heels take over with a double slingshot suplex and isolation. Sunny’s Slammy for Best Buns is mentioned before the “hot” tag. Sunny gives PIG a signed picture as a distraction. This leads to Twin Magic and a messy ending.

HOW DOES IT END:

The Bodydonnas win in 7:17 to retain the titles when Zip pins Henry Godwinn with a small package

FINAL WORD: I’m not sure if the bucket or the match was sloppier.

THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Henry consoles Phineas and Sunny taunts the camera up close (thankfully). PIG gets the picture from out of the bucket and hides it in his overall. A Memorial Day In Your House commercial airs with three matches already promoted (Yoko/Vader, Savio/Austin and Mero/Hunter). Dok interviews Marc Mero in a very ugly denim vest. This character of “all intensity” is just not it. Hunter’s interference on the pre-show is recapped including a Pedigree delivered in a full suit. That’s my first time seeing that AND he very much seems like the guy compared to the LVP level promo Mero just cut. MORE advertising, this time about getting five minutes of long distance calling with proof of purchase. 1996 seems like 50 years ago. Now, it’s time to get serious.

MATCH NUMBER FIVE: WWF TITLE NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH- Diesel vs Shawn Michaels w/Jose Lothario (Champ)

BEFORE THE BELL: The story is recapped all the way back to their start together in 1993. Todd Pettengill always nails these voiceovers. It’s so crazy to me that Diesel lost clean at Mania and immediately gets this match. HBK’s promo on the Free for All was very babyface and very corny. Big Daddy Cool calls Vince out to look for a surprise. The big man enters to big heat and he’s drenched in liquid. Jose rubs Shawn’s pecs backstage before Diesel poses with his pyro and throws his vest at Vince. Interesting. Keep that up and you might be MVP. Mad Dog Vachon is shown in the crowd as an omen. Shawn enters all serious and gets right to it.

WHAT STANDS OUT

-Shawn dropkicks Diesel out of the ring while still wearing his chaps, then does an insane backwards crossbody he thankfully gets caught performing. THEN, he takes the Spanish announcer’s boot off and hits his opponent with it. He’s the MVP already.

-After a crazy tumble in the corner, Diesel lands a crazier elbow to send the champ into the railing. This is awesome in just two minutes. They are really putting over Vince’s hatred and King is shown egging Diesel on to attack him.

-Great elevation on a sidewalk slam, then Diesel chokes the ref with his wrist tape. He’s on a level I’ve never seen before. He whips Shawn with the ref’s belt and hangs him over the ropes with it before tying him up as well.

-Diesel throws FINK down to get his chair and bashes Shawn. He misses a headshot and finds it bouncing back into his face UNPROTECTED. He hits a low blow to avoid more damage.

-Shawn won’t stay down, so Diesel Jackknifes him through the commentary table. Vince takes a tumble and tries to get the monitors off Shawn. What a legendary moment.

-Nash gets the title belt and wants Earl to put it on him. Michaels struggles to his feet and Vince yells “let it be over!” He gets his hands on a fire extinguisher to set it off in Diesel’s face to recover. The crowd is ballistic for this.

-After an emotional kip up, Shawn hits his former bodyguard with a chair that has a headset attached to it. Then, he hits a protected headshot. This is wild. A Jackknife in-ring is avoided and Shawn hits an awesome top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is blocked with a big clothesline.

-The commentators are shown talking in hand mics, Lawler still obnoxious. A brawl develops on the floor. Diesel attacks Mad Dog and rips his fucking artificial leg off. It’s no hooks for hands like Four Leaf (and the reference challenge is complete).

-Everyone, even King, sells disgust. Big Daddy Cool gets hit low, then takes the leg to the face like a baseball bat. The whole crowd is bouncing on the tune up.

HOW DOES IT END:

Shawn Michaels wins in 17:53 to retain the title with Sweet Chin Music

FINAL WORD: That was one of the best brawls I’ve ever seen. That should be talked about so much more. Undoubtedly Kevin Nash’s best match (fuck Bret Hart).

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE: Shawn shows incredible fire and anger at the bell, telling Diesel “Fuck you” and “get out.” He should have shown that passion at Mania. He pushes Earl out of the ring! That’s still the dick I know. Diesel threatens the cameraman and Jose is just lost at ringside. Michaels poses while Vince sells him hard. “New standards have been set!” More pyro and posing as we fade to black.

THE LAST IMAGE: Shawn Michaels

 

THE WRAP UP

 

FINAL MVP of PPV: Nobody does it better than Shawn Michaels. He’s so good, he almost made Diesel the MVP instead! That final outburst was the difference maker.

FINAL LVP of PPV: The difference from one show to the next is astronomical for Jerry Lawler. He reverted back to never being serious, bad bits and putting nothing over.

MY FAVORITE MATCH: Shawn Michaels vs Diesel

MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Ultimate Warrior vs Goldust

FINAL THOUGHTS: What a batshit show. It’s notable with the Outsiders’ pending exits, but so much of this show is shitty that it hurts warranting a full watch of this show. The main event is THAT good, so it becomes a harder decision. You can just seek that out and skip the rest of this holding pattern event. MULLET DOES NOT RECOMMEND

NEXT TIME: Just when you hope WCW is learning lessons, they bring back the Lethal Lottery and Battlebowl because they don’t want to continue their Hall of Fame at Slamboree.