You know what the best thing about my new format is? I can watch a show on Tuesday, type it on Wednesday and have it ready for Friday. Vacation be damned, the diary rolls on!
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 102: WWF IN YOUR HOUSE 6
Written on 2/22/22
HOW WE START: After the standard title card, Sunny is on the beach with another parental advisory. Good lord. I have to say MVP. Another serious, black-and-white introduction focuses on Bret Hart and Diesel with the Undertaker lurking. The In Your House logo gets run over (Attitude Era precursor)! Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler welcome us with pyro in Louisville. The King tears through all of the faces on the show in 30 seconds.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: CRYBABY MATCH- Razor Ramon vs 123 Kid w/Ted DiBiase
BEFORE THE BELL: Razor’s chains look smaller than usual. In the build-up to this match, the Kid hit him with a stroller, baby bottle and Jeff Jarrett’s guitar. Kid rolls a stroller to the ring with a Razor bear in it. I can never tell if Vince’s laugh is real or not after a sign featured Kid in diapers.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Razor is laying EVERYTHING in early. You always work snug with your friends.
-I think the Kid just did the first ever “suck it” on a wrestling show. His offense doesn’t generate much heat, but his antics sure do.
-DiBiase uses baby powder to blind Razor and it’s always used instead of salt or something else. Thanks, Pro Wrestling Secrets show on NBC! There’s a reference challenge.
-Lawler is our first LVP with some insufferable jokes and comments thus far. Every move is a bad baby joke. He has plenty of time as well because there’s a LONG sleeper spot.
-I’m surprised this doesn’t have a little more passion to it. This has been a blood feud for months. It’s still well wrestled and Kid keeps hitting spots that have beaten Ramon in the past.
-The powder spot backfires on the second attempt, but the face wants to get his licks in just a little more.
HOW DOES IT END:
Razor Ramon wins at 12:02 after two Razor’s Edges
FINAL WORD: That was solid, but minorly disappointing considering it was five months of build.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Razor squirts “milk” in his former friend’s mouth and face, powders Kid and Ted and diapers the loser. The Bad Guy seems non-plussed by all of this, but still gets an MVP nod because of his in-ring work. Kid wakes up and thinks he won, but has his manager explain what happens and he begins to cry. Great job by Sean Waltman selling and crying and throwing a tantrum.
-Ray Rougeau and Sunny make bad jokes before an earlier scene of Jake Roberts scaring Sunny with his snake is shown. She jumps and I’m a simple man. A man sweeps up the ring of all the baby shit.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs Duke the Dumpster Droese
BEFORE THE BELL: The Blueblood’s theme gets a bonafide heel pop. He enters with his random valet, Elizabeth Hilden. She gets a few too many whistles. Todd Pettengill interviews Duke Droese with his new haircut courtesy of Hunter after an UNPROTECTED trash can shot. His promo is typical, 80s meathead face, so it’s an LVP worthy performance. He runs down and gets right into a slugfest.
WHAT STAND OUT
-No one really like the Dumpster. He’s all offense to start including a whip with a weight belt and acts a little cocky and gets booed.
-The valet gets interviewed by King at commentary and says one line at a time/pretends to like everything. She’s a random ass LVP. This whole schtick gets more focus than the match itself.
-Hunter has been carrying the match, but it’s nothing notable. He’s showing that he can be “the guy”, but he’s not doing anything new.
-Duke gets a crowd a little bit on his comeback and hits a lame “time to take out the trash” line before this Trash Compactor finisher. He doesn’t go for the win like a boob and throws his can in the ring, hitting Hunter in the face UNPROTECTED and unsafely. It naturally comes back to bite him.
HOW DOES IT END:
Hunter Hearst Helmsley wins in 9:40 with an UNPROTECTED trash can lid shot
FINAL WORD: Trips keeps doing his best with what he’s given and what he’s given isn’t much at all.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: This 1996 Titan Store commercial is burnt into my brain. It’s crazy to me that adults were one size only. How far we’ve come.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: British Bulldog w/Jim Cornette vs Yokozuna
BEFORE THE BELL: The turn of Yoko after a loss to HBK and Diesel is shown. I love his awesome face energy in destroying Cornette. Dok Hendrix interviews him and goes a great job putting over the fact Yoko will talk for himself. The big man cuts a yelling promo, but it has a certain swagger to it. You can see why he doesn’t really talk, though. The Bulldog’s theme has been playing in the background the whole time and he’s already in the ring. The new face gets a good pop and is all business.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Bulldog is working very hard and putting Yoko over very strongly by making himself look weaker than usual. It’s nice seeing Yoko cheered in their decent back-and-forth.
-Every time new MVP candidate Bulldog gets an advantage, Yokozuna no sells him and takes over. After a belly-to-belly, Cornette runs in and lands three ridiculously loud shots with the racket to the big man’s back. They also kept this short.
HOW DOES IT END:
Yokozuna wins at 5:03 by DQ
FINAL WORD: Even it this was longer, I wouldn’t have really minded it at all.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Yoko doesn’t sell any of Cornette’s abuse and backs him into a corner because Vader takes forever to run down and clobber him from behind. He’s wearing a weird mix of street clothes and gear. Yoko gets handcuffed to the top rope and pummeled by the trio. Officials try to help, but can’t. Vince is great at putting over Vader’s wildness over. Cornette keeps laying in STIFF racket shots and Bulldog is doing worked shots like Brute Force on the All-American Boy (one more reference to go). Cornette’s lawyer, Clarence Mason, controls the situation and gets them to leave. Then, Goldust is shown feeling up an AOL person while Marlena sits with the IC Title. You can barely make out a word, but its apparently about his match with Razor Ramon on Raw tomorrow.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: WWF TITLE SHOT AT WRESTLEMANIA XII ON THE LINE- Owen Hart w/Jim Cornette vs Shawn Michaels
BEFORE THE BELL: A video package makes Shawn sound like an unstoppable hero surviving an attack from “nine thugs” before his collapse. The “Tell Me a Lie” music video made me cry so much. Owen Hart takes responsibility and Shawn valiantly wins the Rumble. The heels enter and Fink’s mic is pretty muffled. Todd interviews HBK, cockily chewing gum. He then appears on the roof of the house and dances. I’m somehow finally noticing how bad of a dancer he is. He swings down like Tarzan/Paul Burchill and runs to the ring, throwing Owen to the floor before doing his extended stripping routine. Vince is very over the top in putting him over.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Shawn is having too much fun. He does a lap and high-fives everyone at ringside and kisses a woman on the lips. Owen does the same and no one reciprocates, so HBK does a wild dive from the top to the floor.
There’s a lot of schtick early including the face pulling hair behind the ref’s back and a double kip up. Owen finally makes things serious with an overhead belly-to-belly.
-Shawn is naturally selling great, particularly a spinning heel kick after a long rest hold. He recovers with a suplex to the floor, but gets caught with a powerslam off the apron. The Rocket could be entering MVP territory.
-HBK avoids the Sharpshooter, but doesn’t avoid the enziguri and stumbles dramatically to the floor. He eventually kicks out of the pin attempt.
-God, Shawn hits the ropes and buckles hard on his comeback. Owen isn’t a slouch either. After the flying elbow, Michaels nails Cornette on the apron and misses his first finisher, but not his second.
HOW DOES IT END:
Shawn Michaels wins in 15:58 with Sweet Chin Music
FINAL WORD: That was naturally very good, but needed another 10 minutes to become an all-timer.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Shawn dances with a kid in the ring, but doesn’t take his clothes off like Bret Hart has insinuated in the past. Posing with the kid on his shoulder is cool, but I could’ve gone without a kiss on the lips. McMahon claims Sweet Chin Music could knock out King Kong and high fives him again. Oh, they are fucking.
-After a WrestleMania XII commercial with a Hollywood angle using reviews of WrestleMania XI, the commentators yell about Shawn Michaels some more. Pettengill introduces the acting President of the WWF, Roddy Piper, as the cage is built in the foreground. Oh boy, this could go both ways. He claims Michael Jackson is guilty and isn’t afraid of the Booger Man. He officially announces HBK for the main event of Mania, claims to have no sympathy for Yokozuna, calls Vader a jockstrap-wearing inbred and makes the match between the two behemoths at Mania. Cornette and Mason come out and get shut down immediately. Eventually, Cornette gets to unleash an EPIC, MVP-worthy promo in Piper’s face. He won’t be silenced, but still gets spanked at the end. What a segment.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: WWF TITLE CAGE MATCH: Diesel vs Bret Hart (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: Diesel enters with all the attitude and gets mostly booed. He should push a stunt granny to make it clearer (and the reference challenge is done). Bret Hart enters with fireworks and Vince points out he’s never lost a cage match. Kevin Nash impressively stretches out by holding the top of the cage.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-The action is pretty plodding because Diesel is on top at the start. Bret keeps trying to take the legs out. The most exciting thing is the loud noise of the cage on whips into the corner.
-Jerry Lawler is always his best calling Hitman matches. He puts him over, but never roots for him. The cage continues to creak.
-This is shockingly heatless thus far. The door escapes are just not exciting. This run with the belt for Bret has been hurt with too many “face versus face” matches.
-Escapes are stopped, counters are traded and the crowd chants for both men at some points. Bret Hart has kicked Diesel’s leg more than Kevin Nash has drunken red wine in shoot interviews.
-Diesel evades a Sharpshooter (which is attempted for stupid reasons) with an eye rake and also hits a blatant low blow, but still has support. He’s about to escape the cage, but Undertaker comes out from under the ring and pulls Diesel into the hole. Smoke billows from it and it’s sold beautifully by Diesel. Meanwhile…
HOW DOES IT END:
Bret Hart wins and retains the title at 19:14 by escaping the cage
FINAL WORD: That was their weakest PPV match of the four. The cage limited them and it was all about the inevitable end.
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE: Diesel emerges from the hold with ripped pants and escapes over the top of the cage as Taker stalks him. The crowd is stirring, but not super loud for this. The Dead Man climbs the cage and poses in a cool visual before his theme plays and the lights go out. Diesel is spooked as the commentators sell shock and the fact that “anything can happen in the WWF.” The main event of WrestleMania XII is official and we fade to black.
THE LAST IMAGE: The Undertaker
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: There was some great in-ring work, but Jim Cornette sold the Yokozuna angle like a boss and went toe-to-toe and won a microphone battle with the Hot Scot. That sounds like an MVP to me.
FINAL LVP of PPV: Bret Hart saved Jerry Lawler’s ass once again, so that means Duke Droese gets the nod. It’s clear that Vince McMahon’s claim he can make a star out of the PWI 500 wrestling garbage man was a bunch of shit. Well, I should say trash.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Shawn Michaels vs Owen Hart
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs Duke Droese
FINAL THOUGHTS: What a yawner of a show. There was some minimal Mania set up and the rest was largely inconsequential. Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t a bad show. It just wasn’t a fun one. MULLET DOESN’T RECOMMEND
NEXT TIME: The first WCW Uncensored was the worst PPV I’ve seen in this entire project. The sequel has one of the most infamous main events ever. I may struggle to keep it short.