Holy fucking shit, I’ve watched a lot of wrestling.

When the WWE Network launched almost eight years ago, I made it my quest to watch the history of wrestling PPVs through the eyes of the sole survivor. I lost my way for quite some time and found it almost two years ago when I had plenty of free time through the pandemic. Now, it’s become a regular part of my routine and I don’t see the end in sight.

A lot has changed. When this project started, there was no AEW. There was no Peacock. There was no Jillian Eliza Mullet. Through it all, I stay committed to tracking all of the good, the bad and the ugly in wrestling history until I can’t do it anymore.

That said, life is crazy and I’m very long winded. I know I’ve threatened it before, but I really mean it this time: the format of this is going to change after this edition. I will be condensing my thoughts into shorter tidbits, coming up with different gimmicks and potentially doing away with these introductions. Don’t worry: my typical humor and analysis will still be present, but I have to give some time back to other things.

It's almost fitting that this is the benchmark edition of this diary. It’s the Royal Rumble- my favorite event. It’s won by (spoiler alert) Shawn Michaels- my favorite wrestler when this event took place. It’s 1996- the year that wrestling really changed forever.

Here’s to 100 more. Probably more like 1000 more.

PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 100- WWF ROYAL RUMBLE 1996

Written on 2/6/22

THE FIRST THING YOU SEE: Sunny in a bathtub!!! She tells us viewer discretion is advised. My wife is in the room and is not happy. Then, we transition to a serious black and white video about the action while using big words before focusing on Bret Hart being a legend and Undertaker being a phenom. Razor Ramon vs Goldust is also previewed complete with kisses and the Razor heart tattoo. Oh yeah, there’s a Rumble on this show, too. Shawn Michaels, Yokozuna and Vader get all the focus. Fucking WWF-era Vader, here we go. This is a great opening package. A very 1996 theme and graphic means we go live in Fresno, CA. Vince McMahon growls his welcome alongside Mr. Perfect. He seems more comfortable already.

-Double J enters with his typically ridiculous light up outfit. The In Your House beatdown is replayed and done in time to see his strutting. Ahmed Johnson runs down (or rather jogs) and causes Jarrett’s attempt to jump him to fail.

MATCH NUMBER ONE: Jeff Jarrett vs Ahmed Johnson

-Ahmed is so FUCKING WET. Perfect calls him WWF’s Mike Tyson. He has great power and shrieking ability. He makes Lex Luger sound like Silent Bob (are we going for a View Askewniverse reference challenge?)

-Johnson sticks his tongue out a lot. He’s all offense until he misses a clothesline and legitimately gets his hand stuck in the ropes. Jeff thunderously whips him into the steel steps.

-The face charges up like Tatanka on some axe handle attacks and catches Jarrett in a bearhug. He murders his opponent with a clothesline and can’t stop making noises. He has a hell of a spinebuster, too. Could he be an MVP and LVP?

-Ahmed does a dive over the top rope and lands RIGHT ON HIS FACE. Then, he tries a fucking FLIPPING SENTOn from the top rope that misses. He’s an MVP. I don’t care.

-The Figure Four is applied and the crowd wills Johnson to reverse it. Jarrett is kicked to the floor and he retrieves his guitar. From the top rope, Jarrett gives Ahmed one hell of a guitar necklace with an UNPROTECTED shot straight to the dome.

WINNER: Ahmed Johnson in 6:38 by DQ

-Perfect makes some funny comments as Ahmed freaks out and recovers in the ring.

FINAL WORD: That was a perfectly simple opener that will sadly never get a resolution because Jarrett is leaving again.

-Todd Pettengill interviews Diesel who makes an analogy about being a ninth grader looking what to do next tonight. He’s unfazed by Vader and acts way too cool and nonchalant during this. He’s still doing a voice, too? This is an LVP promo.

-Bodydonnas music and there’s two of them not. And that’s not a reference to Sunny’s wonderful chest. Tom Prichard is now Zip. You can tell Sunny is a Cornette student by always getting pre-match promo time. She doesn’t have the best delivery, though. The Smokin’ Gunns enter as tag champs with new haircuts. They may have had them last time, but I just wasn’t paying attention to anything but Billy’s dumbass.

MATCH NUMBER TWO: WWF TAG TITLE MATCH- The Bodydonnas w/Sunny vs The Smokin’ Gunns (Champs)

-The camera is all over Sunny as she exits the ring. Skip and Billy start. This has a great pace to start. Billy misses to the floor. He gets a slingshot back into the ring from both heels and they try to do the same to Bart, but he slings them to the floor together instead. The dive is already overused in 1996 with Billy doing one to both heels.

-Sunny teases a butt flash and Billy gets distracted like a BITCHCAKE to allow the tag. It’s just that easy.

-Zip and Bart chop the shit out of each other. Bart shows off his impressive strength and the Gunns hit a great double team Hart Attack. I was about to compliment Perfect, but then he ogles Sunny’s butt on the apron. She gets knocked to the floor and Billy goes to check on her. It naturally leads to a double team turning the tide. BITCHCAKE AGAIN.

-Another dive, this one by Skip on Billy. Vince calls Tom “Flip” and gets called out for it. Some double team gutwrench offense keeps Billy down.

-Rare triple down spot off of some leapfrogs from the Bodydonnas and Billy. Bart tags in and makes Skip take more great backdrops. All four guys are in the ring and Skip somehow takes a backdrop from his own partner. Wonderful execution on the Gunns’ Sidewinder finish, but Zip hits Bart from the top for a good near fall.

-The heels go for a double suplex, but Billy spears Zip allowing Bart to end it.

WINNERS: The Smokin’ Gunns in 11:14 to retain the titles when Bart Gunn pins Zip with an inside cradle

-The heels are angry and the faces are happy. Effective stuff.

FINAL WORD: A little repetitive, but still entertaining. I didn’t put any pics or GIFs in because I want to run a picture of Sunny from the opener instead.

-Oh goody, a Billionaire Ted compilation! I forget my rules on prerecorded bits like this, so just consider all of this unofficial LVP. Even Vince Russo as a boardroom guy. The Huckster and the Nacho Man won’t do or take moves, so they just pose. These are still all kinds of yikes.

-Speaking of yikes, let’s recap Goldust’s attempts to fuck with Razor Ramon. He has gold dust fall on him, presents him flowers and a wig and a centerfold. It’s addressed that he could just be fucking with the champ to get the belt. The gay bashing after the tattoo reveal is very hard to explain and handle. Dustin gets thrown into some metal railings, doors and an electrical box very fucking hard.

-The camera turns to widescreen for Goldust’s entrance. The crowd pops for his music, so it’s starting to work. He’s accompanied by the debuting Marlena. The commentators don’t know who she is yet. Vince has a good line that is a prelude to Piper’s return about the questions being changed. Goldust has his good, shiny outfit now and it makes a big difference in his appearance. Razor enters cool and collected thus far. His opponent’s body language and gestures as he disrobes and gets ready make him an MVP candidate. Marlena sits in a director’s chair ringside.

MATCH NUMBER THREE: IC TITLE MATCH- Goldust w/Marlena and Usher vs Razor Ramon (Champ)

-More feely stuff leads to a toothpick in the face. Goldust bites his thumb like he enjoys it. The champ locks in an arm hold and slaps his head. Goldust does a go-behind and feels all over the chest. It’s epic heel shit, but has aged poorly.

-Goldust could be a villain to Bluntman and Chronic. He’s got some Cock Knocker tendencies (and we have one more reference to go). The mood changes with a big slap to Razor’s face.

-After a chase, Goldust hides behind Marlena. Back in the ring, they trade headscissors until Razor lands a big punch that causes another bail and hide.

-A kiss is blown and a chant that I thankfully can’t understand starts. A third hide causes Ramon to pick Marlena up and move her, leading to him getting sent into the steel steps. A bulldog only gets a two count.

-Goldust hits a creative slingshot belly-to-back suplex. Marlena blows gold dust into Razor’s face. A fan in the crowd heckles “nice rack.” During a sleeper, Perfect is good talking about what he could do to him once he’s out. The Bad Guy ends up sneaking a mule kick low to break the hold.

-Razor’s comeback is complete with typically great Scott Hall punches, chokeslam and fallaway slam each with a kickout.

-Marlena gets in the ring to distract the ref as Razor hits a top rope belly-to-back. She feigns twisting her ankle. The Kid runs out and sneak attacks Razor from the top as the ref is preoccupied. Goldust immediately covers.

WINNER: Goldust in 14:17 to win the title after a top rope spinning heel kick from The Kid

-Goldust and Marlena share a tongue touch and feel up the belt on their exit.

FINAL WORD: Good storytelling, chemistry and character development all around. Where is this nowadays?

-Rumble match promo time!

Dr. Jeffrey Unger: Shawn’s physician says he’s ready. Vaccine info is displayed on the chalkboard behind him.

Owen Hart: he’s going to end Shawn Michaels’ career.

Jake Roberts: back and looking healthy, ready to give everyone a taste.

Jerry Lawler: typical King shit.

Barry Horowitz: not a promo guy, that’s for sure.

Vader: YEAH!!!!! Cornette is his manager and Vader is already headbutting lockers.

Shawn Michaels: has all the confidence in the world and call his fans “The Kliq” now. He’s still a better heel.

-Vince and Perfect break the match down and tell us Triple H is #1 and Duke Droese is #30 based on their match during the Free for All earlier. It’s so odd that this isn’t the main event. Perfect picks Vader while messing his words up, but still nails the pencil catch. An abrupt edit means HUNTER HEARST HELMSLY is NUMBER 1. The replay is shown of him getting caught cheating against Duke. He looks very unhappy. HENRY GODWINN is NUMBER 2 and Perfect is funny guessing that after the song has already played. He’s settled very well.

MATCH NUMBER FOUR: ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH FOR A WWF TITLE SHOT AT WRESTLEMANIA XII

-Hunter takes a big backdrop, press and corner flip all in the first minute. Last year’s match is recapped and the odds of number one going the distance are deemed very low.

-BOB BACKLUND is NUMBER 3 and every entrant has their theme now! It’s the modern era! His endurance record is called out. He’s making more noise than Ahmed and Lex combined. He lays some forearms in on Hunter hard.

-JERRY LAWLER is NUMBER 4. Boy, the music makes such a difference. Entrants are on the Superstar line prior to their appearance. King gets the slop bucket and all three heels try to cover HOG, but he avoids and chases them to the floor with the bucket. He still throws it and covers mostly Lawler and the front row. Vince keeps confusing names and laughing shit off. He’s so bad at calling Rumbles. He’s gotta be an LVP candidate despite being pretty good thus far.

-BOB HOLLY is NUMBER 5. Perfect calls out Vince’s hesitation on someone like Holly winning as going against “anything can happen in the WWF.”

-It’s been pretty pedestrian action thus far. KING MABEL is NUMBER 6. That won’t help. I miss the days of the ring “needing to be reinforced.”

-Hunter and Holly are just working a match in the middle of the ring. Backlund is wild, trying to eliminate two guys at once.

-JAKE ROBERTS is NUMBER 7 and he gets an AMAZING ovation. He’s got a huge bag and unleashes a massive snake. The ring clears and Jake pulls Lawler under the python. Hennig has a great line about the two snakes together while the slop is cleared up in the foreground. Everyone returns to the ring except Lawler.

-DORY FUNK JR is NUMBER 8 and he gets total silence. Curt becomes the new MVP by complimenting his ring jacket. Dory looks like a ghoul. Terry Funk was supposed to do this, but couldn’t because he was filming a Stallone movie, so his brother filled in. Backlund and Funk scrap and I have to make Bob an LVP because of his awkward actions.

-“DDT” chants and constant teases to the move, but it keeps getting block. Lawler is shown hiding under the ring. YOKOZUNA is NUMBER 9 and the mood immediately changes. Backlund has a chicken wing on Funk, but it’s broken by Yoko. Bob Backlund is eliminated at 14:46 for our first elimination finally.

-Mabel and Yoko are back at it and Godwinn gets squashed behind both of them in the corner. He’s barely visible behind that girth.

-Holly snaps off a Frankensteiner in the middle of the ring on Godwinn and Mabel splashes his back. Poor Hank. THE KID is NUMBER 10 and he’s looking behind his back for good reason. Razor Ramon comes down to chase him. Henry Godwinn is eliminated at 16:24 almost off camera by Jake. Razor keeps trying to get his former friend and officials prevent it. This is the only time you see Scott Hall in a Rumble match.

-You haven’t lived until you’ve seen Dory Funk sell a spin kick from The Kid. He responds with an airplane spin.

-OMORI is NUMBER 11 and it’s another anti-pop. HHH is doing Flair flops trying to stand out. He’s been in trouble a couple of times, but mostly ignored. Mabel is bumping for everyone trying to keep his job. Omori gets double chopped by the big guys.

-Roberts takes Yoko off of his feet with some punches. SAVIO VEGA is NUMBER 12. King Mabel is eliminated at 20:55 by Yokozuna and Omori is eliminated at 21:10 with a Jake counter. Vince is obsessed with the word "unceremoniously."

-Perfect teases the next entrant based off the Superstar line. Dory suplexes Savio as Perfect is proven right. VADER is NUMBER 13 and I’ve always liked his WWF theme. He was almost just called “The Mastodon” and Vince makes sure to still call him that. He pummels Holly. Newer Rumble would have done more spots to feature him right away.

-Dory Funk is eliminated at 23:19 slowly by a Savio suplex. Vega is great at selling Vader’s punches. DOUG GILBERT is NUMBER 14 and has the worst Southern theme I’ve ever heard. Perfect puts him over as the USWA representative and mentions being his brother’s former partner.

-Jake finally hits the DDT on Savio off-camera, but I think it wasn’t supposed to happen. He sets up another one and Jake Roberts is eliminated at 25:05 by a Vader clothesline from halfway across the ring. He gets a great ovation upon his exit.

-Gilbert gets destroyed with a body block. SQUAT TEAM MEMBER 1 is NUMBER 15. This is more of a “Who Dey” Rumble than the Bengals. Kid and Helmsley are exclusively fighting one another. Gilbert is destroyed by a chokeslam and then Doug Gilbert is eliminated at 27:27 by a vicious Vader press slam.

-Squat Team Member 1 is eliminated at 27:42 easily by Vader. He’s left alone as is Yoko, so they start going at it.

-SQUAT TEAM MEMBER 2 is NUMBER 16. They are identical twins except one of them has bigger titties. The careers of the Headhunters are pretty weird. Vader beats them both up and eliminates the same member. Squat Team Member 2 is eliminated at 29:24 by Yokozuna.

-Hunter is upside down in the corner 30 minutes in. It still feels like this one is just starting. OWEN HART is NUMBER 17 and the commentary lines sound queued up to his theme in a cool moment. I like the number of Double Features to show the entrance as well as the ring.

-Savio gets held by Yoko for a Vader attack. Then, he’s squished by both men in the corner. Savio is doing a great job getting demolished. He takes a splash and leg drop, too.

-SHAWN MICHAELS is NUMBER 18 and he blows the roof off the place while prancing to the ring. Savio Vega is eliminated at 32:51 by Vader. Shawn punches everyone in sight.

-The big boys punch each other back and forth, Vader removing his mask for it. They wind up against the ropes. Vader and Yokozuna are eliminated at 33:46 by a running Shawn Michaels at once. It’s the most unbelievable thing in so many ways, but I don’t care. The Kid is eliminated at 34:06 by a HBK press slam. He’s already the MVP just from being amazing with his impact.

-HAKUSHI is NUMBER 19 but we don’t see his entrance because Yoko gets blindsided by Vader on the floor. Vader gets back in the ring and press slams HBK over the top rope. They change the rules of the match because of it. Everyone but Owen is thrown over the top (he’s smart enough to go through the ropes). Gorilla Monsoon comes down and gets into a face-to-face forcing Vader to the back. This was a great way to put him over as a monster heel in defeat.

-TATANKA is NUMBER 20 and Shawn throws Cornette over the top for good measure. All the men still in the match get back in and Hakushi hits a handspring elbow on Owen. Shawn is in trouble a bunch and the girls are shrieking constantly. One punch causes him to go over, but swing right back in. He’s so cool.

-Hakushi is eliminated at 38:29 by a Owen shoulder pump. ALDO MONTOYA is NUMBER 21 with dumb music and an even dumber mask.

-Michaels is on the floor for no real reason, so he decides to look for King. He pulls him out, hanging onto cables. He’s brought back into the ring and chased to the ropes. Almost simultaneously, Aldo Montoya and Jerry Lawler are eliminated at 40:30 by Tatanka and Shawn Michaels respectively.

-DIESEL is NUMBER 22 and he looks all kinds of confident. Perfect claims victory for him right away. He hammers Hunter right away. Tatanka is eliminated at 41:05 with a very quick toss.

-The best friends end up back-to-back, so Diesel punches Shawn out. He’s back up quickly. KAMA is NUMBER 23 with a motorcycle intro to the future theme of Too Sexy Brian Christopher. He’s also bald now. You’re all caught up on Kama.

-Vince announces Ahmed Johnson was taken to the hospital with a concussion. HBK sells every shot and errant strike to the head like death. THE RINGMASTER is NUMBER 24 in his WWF debut. Vince calls him Steve Austin! What the fuck? He also has that early Stone Cold theme already. Perfect puts him over hard and rightfully so.

-Someone hits the ropes and almost fucks Shawn up while skinning the cat. Of course, he manages just fine. Bob Holly is eliminated at 45:46 finally with a knee to the back by Ringmaster.

-BARRY HOROWITZ is NUMBER 25 with that rocking Hava Nagila. Perfect goes hard on him with talk of being a horrible nerd. Austin and HHH run spots in the corner while Owen skins the cat.

-Out of nowhere, Hunter Hearst Helmsley is eliminated at 48:01 with a quick grab and throw by Diesel. Is he the worst longevity guy of all time?

-FATU is NUMBER 26 as Horowitz is LVP just for constantly looking lost in what he’s supposed to do along with some bad uppercuts.

-Owen has Shawn in a delayed vertical suplex, but Shawn holds onto the ropes in a nice spot. ISAAC YANKEM is NUMBER 27.

-Barry Horowitz is eliminated at 51:02 with an Owen Hart backdrop. The crowd “ooohs” at an Owen enziguri on Shawn. That’s the move that took him out in kayfabe. During the Double Feature, Owen Hart is eliminated at 51:36 by Diesel as Owen was trying to eliminated Shawn. Austin takes HBK’s head off afterwards and mocks his signature pose.

-MARTY JANNETTY is NUMBER 28 and he has no tassels. The Rockers eventually exchange blows and hit each other into a double down. Hennig tells a funny bad joke and annoys Vince. I’m proud of him channeling his inner Heenan on this show.

-BRITISH BULLDOG is NUMBER 29 in a stark difference to his last Rumble appearance. Diana Smith is shown in the crowd looking on as usual. Marty Jannetty is eliminated at 55:24 by Davey. That was unceremonious.

-In the background, The Ringmaster is eliminated at 55:48 on accident by an oiled-up Fatu. This is a famous mistake and you can see Steve give Shawn the signal. Fatu is eliminated at 56:10 by Yankem. It’s time to call this one on the fly! Shawn gets everyone in the corner to presumably figure it out.

-DUKE DROESE is NUMBER 30 and Vince tries to claim what a story it would be for a garbage man to main event Mania. Shawn and Bulldog brawl on the floor and Owen comes back for a sneak attack. The officials have been busy in this Rumble. Isaac Yankem is eliminated at 58:01 by a Michaels dropkick and Duke Droese is eliminated at 58:07 with a Diesel and Kama double team (that followed a truly terrible scrum between all three).

-British Bulldog is eliminated at 58:30 once again by Shawn. Kama is eliminated at 58:43 and earns an LVP for looking awkward at many points (including his pie-facing ousting). Diesel turns around and it’s all over.

WINNER: Shawn Michaels at 58:49 by last eliminating Diesel

-The crowd is stoked as was little Chris Mullet.

FINAL WORD: This Rumble wasn’t the best, but told lots of good stories and had tons of all-time memorable moments mixed with completely random and bad entrants. It felt long and short at the same time.

-Dok Hendrix tries to interview Diesel, who beats up Bulldog on his way to the back. He claims that the only reason he’s living and breathing is because he’s allowing it. He goes back to the ring as Shawn is stripping. Holy shit, he pulls his pants down to the point of seeing his fucking pubic bone! He turns around and sees an angry friend waiting for him. He holds the black glove up in the air for Shawn to do their trademark leaping high five. Nice foreshadowing. The Sweet Chin Music finish is replayed and Shawn resumes his celebration with his clothes thankfully on. He slaps a ton of hands. Diesel stands with his head against the post dejected.

-The next segment is set up to be some commercial, but it’s another edit into the WWF Title match. GONG and Undertaker enters. Diesel is still leaving and he pushes Paul Bearer. A fight breaks out and officials are back out to break it up once each man gets a shot in. Diesel says “I ain’t afraid of the dark” over and over before finally leaving. The fight is replayed (there’s been a TON of replays tonight) and Bret Hart enters. He definitely gets a more mixed reaction that he’s used to. He kisses the belt and hands it to Earl Hebner. Then, he gives his glasses to a mentally handicapped boy at ringside in a nice moment.

MATCH NUMBER FIVE: WWF TITLE MATCH- The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer vs Bret Hart (Champ)

-Taker can’t get to Bret early and no sells all of Hart’s punches before unleashing his own.

-It’s all Taker with hard whips into the corner and face scratches/squeezes. It’s a “methodical” pace so far. Bearer cheats by removing Bret’s leg from the bottom rope on a break.

-Old School connects and this has been a slog so far. Bret finally hits a boot in the corner, a clothesline over the top and a dive to the floor. Taker sits up and catches the champ off another dive with a bearhug, sending him into the post on the floor.

-The Dead Man is definitely the crowd favorite because Bret is booed sending him into the post. A big boot turns the tide once more. They’ve been on the floor awhile. Taker does the Foley bump over the steel steps all in the knees.

-The leg gets focused on. Perfect constantly thinks the MCL is in trouble. The Figure 4 is applied in the center of the ring. After some near falls in it, it’s reversed.

-The match is so exciting that Vince and Perfect talk about George Burns’ 100th birthday. Bret tries to remove Taker’s mask, but can’t. Another submission is locked on, but is broken up with a seated leg drop.

-More time is spent on the floor. Taker chokes Bret with a cable and gets booed. He throws the Hitman into the timekeeper’s table and uses a chair into Bret’s chest. No DQ is called because Bearer has the ref distracted.

-Bret rallies and smashes Taker’s leg into the post. More grounding leg work, but the back and forth continues.

-Bret hits a transitional DDT for two and Taker sits up. Are we finally going to kick this one into a different gear? Bret’s signatures keep resulting in sit ups. He can’t manage one after a backbreaker and second rope elbow.

-The Sharpshooter is signaled for, but Undertaker goozles him to avoid it. A double clothesline resets us.

-A turnbuckle pad is removed as is Taker’s mask. His face ends up hitting the exposed steel twice to more boos.

-Out of nowhere, the Tombstone lands and it looked like sheer death. On the count of one, Diesel runs out and pulls the ref out of the ring. He’s not even supposed to be here today (and the reference challenge is done).

WINNER: Undertaker at 28:30 by DQ

FINAL WORD: I have to be honest: I wasn’t a fan of this at all. It was mostly boring and plodding. Being overly long didn’t help and the finish was bad as the cherry on top.

-Diesel flips Taker the bird while The Fink announces the official word. Taker is livid and storms to the back. Bret’s music plays and he lays in the ring looking like a chump champ. He finally pops up and leaves limping. Vince teases Royal Rumble + coming up. Seriously? A recap show is kept on this feed?

-Todd Pettengill is with Gorilla Monsoon to announce Bret Hart vs Diesel at the next In Your House. He may have called Todd “John.” Dok interviews HBK who is making silly faces and acting high as a kite. He says the Kliq won’t run wild because that’s medieval (a subtle dig at Hogan) and says he told us so about winning the Rumble. It’s a little nutty, but fits his current attitude.

-Back to Todd and Gorilla to say much of nothing. Undertaker finally comes in and threatens Diesel to Gorilla’s face. It’s the most normal he’s ever sounded. Monsoon amends the IYH match to be in a cage. Hendrix talks to Diesel drinking a beverage. He tells him to shut up right away and repeats the “live and breathe” line. Boy, he may bookend this show with another bad LVP promo with this put-on Dice accent. He talks for WAY too long, makes some jokes and renames the company after himself. Someone off screen tries to give him a signal to wrap up, so he gets mad and then wraps it up soon afterwards.

-Pettengill talks to Cornette while Vader destroys the locker room. He reasserts himself as a threat before the recap video finally plays. We did not need these promos.

THE LAST IMAGE: Shawn Michaels

THE WRAP UP

FINAL MVP of PPV: WWF is all about Shawn Michaels right now and rightfully so. He is the best battle royal participant of all time because he gets the drama and adds athleticism to it all. I have to give a shout out to recent LVPs Goldust and Mr. Perfect for giving him a fight.

FINAL LVP of PPV: There weren’t too many legit candidates and his in-ring work was fine, but Diesel cut two very bad promos that seemed counterproductive and masturbatory.

MY FAVORITE MATCH: The Royal Rumble Match

MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Undertaker vs Bret Hart

FINAL THOUGHTS: That was the definition of a pretty good, but not great, show. There was nothing bad about it at all. In fact, there was a lot of amazing moments and positive harbingers of things for the future. No match was a show stealer, but it all flowed well. Number 100 is ending up just like number one did and that is a show to catch. Maybe I’m just a sucker for the Rumble. MULLET RECOMMENDS

NEXT TIME: No big fancy anniversary or anything. It’s SuperBrawl VI. It’s a show known for one thing and one thing only. You’ll have to wait until next week to find out what that is.