The Fifth Retro Diary Flairiod

Every recap, I’m shocked at the progress we’ve made. I say “we” because you are very much on this journey with me if you are reading this. 80 shows are in the can and I’ve been anticipating this project getting more and more difficult.

That doesn’t just mean with the periods and content that I’m watching. This is the last Flariod (period of time consisting of 16 shows established as the standard recap duration in homage to Ric Flair’s world title reigns and Grantland) consisting of more than one calendar year for quite some time. The next Flairiod will be existing only in 1995 and I’m sure I’ll have plenty of thoughts on that over the weeks couple of months.

What has been difficult is juggling my personal and professional life and this passion project. I’m insistent on making every deadline and going out of my way to ensure that this blog is online every Friday. I have no idea how many of you are actually reading this and I frankly don’t care and want to know. I appreciate if 10 people or 10,000 are giving this attention.

This recap is arguably my favorite part of the process because it gives us an idea of where we’ve been, where we are and where we are going. Let’s answer those questions right now

 

Here is my Top 5 Overall MVPs for the Fifth Flairiod

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1.      Owen Hart- I don’t think we’ve had anyone dominate a year like The Rocket totally took over 1994. Any doubt someone may stupidly have about Owen’s skill not translating into modern times is a damn fool because he is an all-time talent who is just as important to the next generation of wrestlers and work rate as the cruiserweights and indy starts of the 90s and 00s. (First Flairiod appearance)

2.      Vader- This period cemented to me the fact that nobody is a better “big man” in the business than the future Mastodon. His character work, in-ring prowess and aura put him on that pedestal with no one even coming close. (Ranked as number 4 overall MVP in Flairiod #4)

3.      Ric Flair- The namesake somehow keeps standing above his peers because he’s just that damn special. It doesn’t matter if he’s an inspirational babyface or the dirtiest heel in the game. He is still leaving other talents rightfully in his shadow. (Ranked as number 1 overall MVP in Flairiod #3 and number 1 disappointment in Flairiod #1)

4.      Bobby Heenan- This won’t be the only time we discuss the Brain in this recap because he’s now a complicated case, but earning another three top honors means that the GOAT color commentator is still in this hallowed company. It also means that he’s still hilarious, still outstanding and still important. (Ranked as number 1 overall MVP in Flairiod #4 and number 3 overall MVP in Flairiod #3)

5.      Terry Funk- This spot almost went to Dustin Rhodes, but I ultimately went with one of his biggest rivals in this time period. The reason? I always knew what Dustin would bring to the table. With the man from the Double Cross Ranch, I gleefully had no idea in the best way possible. (First Flairiod appearance)

 

Here is my Top 5 Overall LVPs for the Fifth Flairiod

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1.      Lex Luger- I’ve given him so much leeway and chances, but I can’t do it any longer. It’s become clear that he is NOT the guy despite everyone’s best efforts because he’s lazy, sloppy, uncoordinated, unpassionate and every other negative adjective you don’t want a top guy to be associated with. (Ranked as number 5 overall MVP in Flairiod #2 and number 2 overall LVP in Flairiod #4)

2.      Kevin Sullivan- Nobody was asking for him to come back and yet here he is. This runt isn’t over, but his position just gets better and better with each show. This weirdo hurts every match that he is in because he bumps like shit, thinks he’s tougher than he is and just can’t stop making silly faces that piss me off. (First Flairiod appearance)

3.      IRS- Destiny finally fulfilled. At this rate, I just feel like Mike Rotunda and I are destined to do this forever. (Ranked as number 1 uncrowned LVP in Flairiod #2, number 5 uncrowned LVP in Flairiod #3 and number 2 uncrowned LVP in Flairiod #4)

4.      Bruce Hart- Some people’s reputations are difficult to overcome. Others don’t even try like the stupidly named brother of Bret. You can basically reuse everything I said about Kevin Sullivan, but just add sunglasses. (First Flairiod appearance)

5.      Nick Bockwinkel- This spot almost went to Nick Patrick, but his rivalry with me isn’t as egregious as hiring a boring legend to hold a prominent speaking role and it makes me want to turn the channel on a PPV. (First Flairiod appearance)

 

Here is my Top 5 Uncrowned MVPs for the Fifth Flairiod

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1.      Razor Ramon- Say hello to a wrestler who is Teflon with the crowd and this viewer. His matches are also entertaining, his work is always thoughtful and exciting and his intangibles are hard to teach. (Ranked as number 2 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #4)

2.      Paul Orndorff- Being a good heel will never go out of style and Mr. Wonderful’s antics will never be anything but thoroughly enjoyable and outstanding, especially on shows that lack a certain oomph. (Ranked as number 4 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #1 and number 5 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #4)

3.      123 Kid- The scrappy underdog exploded on the scene in this period and it’s crazy how someone so small and so skinny can be so huge to the scope of the business at this time and for its future. He’ll be on these recaps for quite some time in a bunch of different ways. (First Flairiod appearance)

4.      Arn Anderson- Forever a bridesmaid and underappreciated figure, the Enforcer got stabbed, turned a couple of times and filled in wherever he was needed in just 14 months. Whatever he was doing, he was doing a damn good job of it (First Flairiod appearance)

5.      Bam Bam Bigelow- With better booking, the Beast from the East could be in that same argument that I discussed with Vader earlier. Nobody is as unique and giving as the tattooed behemoth and I hope he gets his due soon (First Flairiod appearance)

 

Here is my Top 5 Uncrowned LVPs for the Fifth Flairiod

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1.      Dave Sullivan- He could be a Bruiser Brody knockoff. He could be a dopey, dyslexic brother. He could be fucking Santa Claus. He could also be the worst part of a show any waking moment he’s on it. (First Flairiod appearance)

2.      Art Donovan- Looking back, it is pretty insane that I didn’t honor the worst guest color commentary performance of all time with the distinction that it deserved. This is a make good (or bad) for that error. (First Flairiod appearance)

3.      Doink- Change the man behind the paint and wig and you have a grating, shitty character that can’t leave my life quick enough. Dink, on the other hand, is basically cool with me (First Flairiod appearance)

4.      Jerry Lawler- His schtick is borderline offensive and over the top ALREADY and he’s nowhere near a regular on the headset nor am I through with his spotlight rivalries. His contributions will definitely yo-yo between positive and negative, but this time frame definitely skewed against his favor (First Flairiod appearance)

5.      Charlie Norris- Bootleg Tatanka without a lick of talent. That’s enough to earn this spot. (First Flairiod appearance)

 

Here are my Top 5 Surprises for the Fifth Flairiod

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1.      Diesel- It makes absolute perfect sense as to why Kevin Nash earned his spot as the WWF Champion as this section of time ended. He’s cool, plays his part well in between the ropes and got legitimately better in everything he’s tasked with. I’m going to enjoy it while I can. (Ranked number 1 uncrowned LVP in Flairiod #3)

2.      Nasty Boys- By this point, I figured they’d be too fat and too lazy to do anything of note. I’m totally wrong. I look forward to every one of their appearances because it’s going to be watchable- for better or worse- every time and they bust their big asses every match. (Sags ranked number 4 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #3)

3.      Todd Pettengill- I gave him so much shit for being the prototypical cornball last time and I’m eating crow now because he really excels as a solid interviewer and an expert voiceover guy. He doesn’t pull the focus unlike others in this role. Todd is alright with me. (Ranked number 3 uncrowned LVP in Flairiod #4)

4.      Crush- You always need an upper mid-card heel ready for anything that people can boo and can have a match that generates heat. Brian Adams did that to a decent amount of success in this era to the point where I thought there was another performer in the Crush gimmick. (First Flairiod appearance)

5.      Paul Roma- Talk about another guy I’ve been hard on because he never reached the level he thought he should reach or the level he was set up to reach, but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t exude good charisma and impressive athleticism for his time. (First Flairiod appearance)

 

Here are my Top 5 Disappointments for the Fifth Flairiod

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1.      Yokozuna- It’s hard to watch a man’s physical deterioration when they’ve been on top. He’s just too big, too slow and too sensitive to falling down the card now and I know the explosive and badass villain we had previously is long gone. (Ranked number 3 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #4)

2.      Harlem Heat- I’ve had a hard time getting into the legendary WCW team thus far. You can see that they are still green and they have no idea what kind of personalities they should have every time they step through the curtain. (First Flairiod appearance)

3.      Avalanche- Rinse and repeat Yokozuna’s summary, but with more hair. (Ranked number 5 overall MVP in Flairiod #3, number 3 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #2 and number 5 disappointment in Flairiod #4)

4.      Gorilla Monsoon- Every time he is back, I get excited because it’s nostalgic. That wears off rather quickly because he falls into the same cliches and improper tone that probably cost him his job in the first place. (Ranked number 1 disappointment in Flairiod #3)

5.      Bobby Heenan- Sigh…here it is: the recognition that Bobby Heenan isn’t the same man that he was in WWF. Sure, he still racked up three MVP awards, but he also earned his first LVP and earned my ire for seemingly collecting paychecks, saying inappropriate things and having too much free reign. ((Ranked as number 1 overall MVP in Flairiod #4, number 3 overall MVP in Flairiod #3 and number 4 overall MVP in Flairiod #5)

 

Here are my Top 5 Favorite Matches during the Fifth Flairiod

1.      Owen Hart vs Bret Hart at WrestleMania X

2.      Ric Flair vs Vader at Starrcade 1993

3.      Ric Flair vs Ricky Steamboat at Spring Stampede 1994

4.      Hulk Hogan vs Ric Flair at Halloween Havoc 1994

5.      Vader vs Cactus Jack at Halloween Havoc 1993

 

Here are my Top 5 Least Favorite Matches during the Fifth Flairiod

1.      Yokozuna vs Lex Luger at WrestleMania X

2.      Men on a Mission and Bushwhackers vs Bam Bam Bigelow, Headshrinkers and Bastion Booger at Survivor Series 1993

3.      Jim Duggan vs Steve Austin at Fall Brawl 1994

4.      Roddy Piper vs Jerry Lawler at King of the Ring 1994

5.      Mr. T vs Kevin Sullivan at Starrcade 1994

 

Here are the Top 5 Win Totals in Retro Diary History

1.      Sting- 29

2.      Hulk Hogan-23

3.      Rick Steiner- 20

4.      Ric Flair and Bret Hart- 19

5.      Hawk, Scott Steiner, Randy Savage and Dustin Rhodes- 18

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Here are the Top 5 Loss Totals in Retro Diary History

1.      Arn Anderson- 21

2.      Bret Hart- 19

3.      IRS- 18

4.      Greg Valentine and Tito Santana- 17

5.      Hercules and Ted DiBiase- 16

Time for a couple new trackings!

Here are the Top 5 Wrestlers in My All-Time Favorite Matches

1.      Ric Flair- 16

2.      Bret Hart- 12

3.      Randy Savage and Ricky Steamboat- 11

4.      Sting- 9

5.      Rick Rude, British Bulldog and Shawn Michaels- 8

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Here are the Top 3 Wrestler in My All-Time Least Favorite Matches

1.      Jim Duggan- 6

2.      Hulk Hogan, IRS, Steve Austin and Kevin Sullivan- 5

3.      Steve Williams, Bushwhackers, Dustin Rhodes, Jimmy Garvin, Hercules and Bam Bam Bigelow- 4

 

Here are the Top 4 All-Time MVPs

1.      Bobby Heenan- 8

2.      Ric Flair- 5

3.      Vader- 4

4.      Jesse Ventura, Sting, Ted DiBiase and Owen Hart- 3

 

Here is the Top 4 All-Time LVPs

1.      Nikolai Volkoff- 3

2.      Bob Caudle- 3

3.      Nailz- 3

4.      Lex Luger- 3

 

Here are the Top 5 UNPROTECTED HEAD SHOT Receipents

1.      Cactus Jack- 23

2.      Terry Funk- 14

3.      Vader- 10

4.      Kevin Sullivan- 8

5.      Jerry Sags- 7

 

Here is some of the other things I’m currently tracking

Billy Gunn is still batting a perfect 100% on appearing like Billy Bitchcakes.

We got our first moment of Triple H being that guy, our last moment of Mick Foley doing something stupid for a little while and our first Stunner (albeit performed by a fucking Freebird).

Ric Flair is now up to a 53% success rate with coming off the top rope.

The Undertaker hit his first three Tombstones on PPV in over two years and they all hit the fake Undertaker.

The list of people that have won both an MVP and LVP is Jesse Ventura, Lex Luger, Randy Savage, Hulk Hogan, Jim Ross, Sting, Iron Sheik, Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan and Col. Robert Parker

 

I don’t track winless and perfect records as closely as I used to, but I will say that Mr. T did enter a tie with one of the Jumping Bomb Angels at 3-0 in this time period and Adam Bomb is coming close to the level of futility that Boris Zhukov and Jimmy Snuka have at 0-6.

This period saw so much upheaval within both companies and I’m almost looking forward to the next 16 weeks because, no matter how bad I think it will be, at least it will be a little calmer.

Flairiod number six will feature the formation of the silliest monster heel stable of all time, the introduction of the WWF’s shorter shows that are broadcast “In Your House,” the first utterances of ECW from an angry group of people, the reliance of celebrities to pop ratings, bad impersonations of classic characters and Ric Flair in fucking drag.

I take it all back.

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CURRENT PPV RANKINGS (BOLD is recommended, * is from this Flairiod)

PPV Rankings

1.      WrestleMania 3

2.      Royal Rumble 1992

3.      Spring Stampede 1994*

4.      Survivor Series 1987

5.      Great American Bash 1989

6.      WrestleMania X*

7.      SuperBrawl 2

8.      Royal Rumble 1993

9.      Survivor Series 1988

10.  Starrcade 1986

11.  Royal Rumble 1990

12.  SuperBrawl 3

13.  Chi-Town Rumble

14.  WrestleMania VI

15.  WrestleWar 91

16.  Starrcade 1983

17.  Starrcade 1992

18.  WrestleWar 90

19.  SummerSlam 91

20.  Starrcade 1988

21.  Halloween Havoc 1990

22.  King of the Ring 1993

23.  WrestleMania VII

24.  Great American Bash 1990

25.  Survivor Series 1991

26.  WrestleMania 2

27.  Great American Bash 88

28.  WrestleWar 89

29.  SuperBrawl I

30.  Survivor Series 1992

31.  This Tuesday in Texas

32.  WrestleWar 92

33.  King of the Ring 94*

34.  Halloween Havoc 93*

35.  Starrcade 93*

36.  Survivor Series 94*

37.  The Wrestling Classic

38.  Starrcade 1987

39.   Beach Blast 1992

40.   SummerSlam 1993

41.   WrestleMania VIII

42.   Royal Rumble 1991

43.   Slamboree 1994*

44.   SummerSlam 1988

45.   SummerSlam 1989

46.   Starrcade 1989

47.   Survivor Series 1989

48.   SummerSlam 1992

49.   Slamboree 1993

50.   SuperBrawl IV*

51.   SummerSlam 1994*

52.   Survivor Series 1990

53.   Bash at the Beach 1994*

54.   Halloween Havoc 1989

55.   Great American Bash 1992

56.   Beach Blast 1993

57.   Royal Rumble 1994*

58.   Starrcade 1985

59.   Bunkhouse Stampede

60.   The Big Event

61.   Royal Rumble 1989

62.   Survivor Series 1993*

63.   SummerSlam 1990

64.   WrestleMania V

65.   Fall Brawl 1994*

66.   Battlebowl*

67.   Halloween Havoc 1992

68.   Royal Rumble 1988

69.   Halloween Havoc 1991

70.   WrestleMania 1

71.   Halloween Havoc 1994*

72.   WrestleMania IX

73.   Starrcade 1991

74.   Starrcade 1990

75.   WrestleMania IV

76.   Starrcade 1994*

77.   Capitol Combat

78.   Starrcade 1984

79.   Fall Brawl 1993

80.   Great American Bash 1991