Mullet's Retro Diary 74: King of the Ring 1994

Now that I’ve done this project for as long as I have, I’m incredibly self-conscious about many different. My inherent bias of certain tropes and individuals has been a struggle. Preconceiving the best and worst parts and performances on shows has been discussed in my introductions before. One thing that ties both of those concepts together for today’s show is how fixated I could seem to be on the commentary and non-wrestling personalities.

If you tallied up the MVP and LVPs of all of the retro diaries so far, you will probably find way too many cases of an announcer or interviewer or manager earning that distinction. Some people may think that’s unfair because they aren’t as important to the overall show or that they have more chances because they are involved in more overall segments in the whole show. Be that as it may, there are still a crucial piece of the entire story and presentation of the events that I’m watching. They can make or break the historical perspective of the show.

Hmm…why would I be discussing this right now?

The 1994 King of the Ring features the elevation of an all-time great into permanent main event status, the first big match of an eventual two-time WWE Hall of Famer, the return of a legendary tag team wrestler, some groundbreaking in-ring action from another two-time WWE Hall of Famer and the next step in the legacy of YET ANOTHER two-time WWE Hall of Famer.

Nobody remembers this show for any of those reasons. They remember this show for an aloof NFL great and local legend sounding like an escaped nursing home patient for almost three straight hours.

Is that fair? There’s only one way to find out. I think I know where this is headed, but stranger things have happened. How much does Art Donovan weigh in the grand scheme of this PPV?

 

PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 74- WWF KING OF THE RING 1994

Written on 7/25/21

 

THE FIRST THING YOU SEE: Some boats in Maryland accompanied by Gorilla Monsoon’s voice talking about earlier in the day for a shitty Coliseum Home Video exclusive. Jeff Jarrett looks at the brackets and Owen Hart interrupts him. Bam Bam Bigelow follows and IRS makes this worse. Finally, the actual intro for the actual show commences with regal music and Todd Pettengill’s voiceover previewing the quarterfinal matches in the tournament. The highlights are Mabel’s dancing, Razor Ramon destroying Matt Hardy in the Razor’s Edge and Owen screaming like an animal. We also get a champion vs champion bout because Diesel is the IC Champ now and Vince McMahon hates Bret Hart. There’s mystery over who his corner person will be to counteract Shawn Michaels. Then: “the mouths roar!” Jerry Lawler versus Roddy Piper “wrestling just one more time.” Don’t forget the newly babyface Headshrinkers defending against Yokozuna and Crush, who appear to murder a jobber in a double chokeslam.

-We finally go LIVE for the National Anthem performed by Ricky Medlock of Blackfoot. He looks like every studio musician that never made it, but it’s a fine enough rendition. There definitely have been worse. Pyro shoots off before he screams “let’s get it on!”

-Gorilla Monsoon wishes us a Happy Father’s Day. Vince must either be hurt or on trial. He’s alongside the Macho Man and “Art O’Donnell.” Here we go. He probably shits the bed because Gorilla messed his name up. Art Donovan picks Razor Ramon and Macho picks Diesel versus Bret Hart. Art says Randy has all of his and Gorilla’s hair. He really wanted to get that line out.

-Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon enter. To be honest, I’m not sure how much match analysis there’s going to be because of all the Art stuff. The crowd is very hot early. Gorilla asks Art if he remembers last year’s tournament and Art can’t hear what he said. Beautiful.  Razor Ramon comes out and Monsoon calls him Macho Man. Randy recovers it and somehow has earned MVP on commentary early. To get to this point, Razor beat Kwang and Bigelow beat Sparky Plugg. Oof. There’s 15-minute time limits in this round like last year.

MATCH NUMBER ONE: KING OF THE RING QUARTERFINAL MATCH- Bam Bam Bigelow w/Luna Vachon vs Razor Ramon

-The toothpick is thrown at Luna and Bam Bam is all over him early.

-Top rope headbutt missed and it leads to a crotching on the post. The commentators are trying to make football analogies to Art and he just laughs and makes noises. God, it’s so early.

-Savage is on fire, not explaining a dick joke to Gorilla and claiming to not do weddings anymore. It was tongue in cheek prior, but he’s a surefire MVP threat now.

-A random Luna distraction leads to Bigelow not even cheating on the floor. Donovan calls him “some athlete” then screams “whoa, oh” on a simple punch. He’s so good.

-Torture rack applied and Art doesn’t know it’s a submission. Then, he claims to have no money to bet before asking about Razor, “Gorilla, is he dead?”

-Ramon escapes with a belly-to-back and fires up, hitting a nice slam.

-The moonsault attempt is blocked without it being missed.

WINNER: Razor Ramon at 8:25 with a powerbomb

FINAL WORD: A good big man opener that I paid little attention to thanks to Art Donovan.

-Pettengill interviews IRS and Mabel in front of the big bracket. IRS totally whiffs on making a point in his promo, earning another LVP case. Mabel and Oscar somehow do a much better job despite their inexperience. Irwin just yells “tax evaders” and threatens the cameraman live like the lame man that he is. “Randy, is this one of the wrestlers?” He’s kind of cute. Also, the answer is “barely,” Art. Oscar hypes Mabel to the ring and shouts his lyrics. The big man’s moves are hilarious. Monsoon has come a long way from hating Run DMC to chanting along with M.O.M. “Is this how he’s gonna wrestle with all his clothes on?”

MATCH NUMBER TWO: KING OF THE RING QUARTERFINAL MATCH- IRS vs Mabel w/Oscar

-The heel’s head is rammed into the buckle to start. Mabel beat Pierre in the first round and IRS beat SCOTT STEINER. LVP LVP LVP LVP LVP okay, I’ll stop.

-Our first “How much does this guy weigh!” It’s a fair question about Mabel. When he gets his answer, he claims that’s not fair to IRS.

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-Art thought Oscar was a hospital worker and asks if Gorilla and Randy liked doing this in regards to in-ring action. Meanwhile, IRS hit his finishing clothesline on Mabel, but can’t win with it.

-Mabel locks in a small package on IRS! It looked good and that should have been his finish.

-Donovan is running riot now: “he’s got a lot of gold in his mouth, must be a wealthy fellow” followed by “he could hunt a bear with a switch” before repeating his hair line from the opening. IRS survives a sloppy Boss Man Slam. He’s totally gassed five minutes in.

-Mabel tries a second rope splash, but gets shook off and flails ridiculously while taking the fall.

WINNER: IRS at 5:40 with a lateral press hooking the ropes after a second rope fall

FINAL WORD: That was thankfully short.

-Another Coliseum exclusive of Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji prepping Yoko and Crush. Yoko spits at the cameraman and they threaten him to leave after a standard promo.

-Tatanka enters to the ring and his hair looks like shit. He beat Crush to advance and they apparently had to redo it as a Lumberjack match because Lex Luger got involved. The Rocket is out next in a dope all-pink singlet while Donovan asks how much Tatanka weighs twice.

MATCH NUMBER THREE: KING OF THE RING QUARTERFINAL MATCH- Tatanka vs Owen Hart

-The face makes the jump at the bell. What a jerk. Owen is bumping his ass off already. We get our third weight question and Savage makes a guess. It doesn’t help that Art keeps talking over Monsoon. Owen beat Doink to advance by the way.

-Donovan thinks both men would make good linebackers. Savage’s best performance of all time might be right now because he’s being so patient. Tatanka goes over the top and lands on his feet, so he keeps beating Owen up on the floor. The crowd remains hot as Tatanka is eventually thrown into the post.

-IRS and Razor are shown in a double feature fighting backstage. Owen hits some great offense highlighted with a pinpoint missile dropkick. Art thinks they are killing each other.

-A long headlock/sleeper spot highlights how hard Gorilla is pretending to not be able to hear Art and how much Savage is covering for it.

-The war dance and fire up leads to a chop, DDT, top rope chop and powerslam which all get good two counts. Owen’s resiliency is awesome. MVP.

-On top of it all, he wins with a clean wrestling move over a very protected man.

WINNER: Owen Hart at 8:19 with a sunset flip counter cradle

FINAL WORD: That was a great little gem of a match that was only mired by Art Donovan’s questions.

-“Gonna be a lot of American Indians mad!” Jesus, Art. Here’s your LVP finally. Pettengill interviews Diesel and Shawn Michaels. Bret getting hit with the Jackknife on the King’s Court is shown. Shawn fakes sadness while Nash shows his trademark personality. He still talks like Vinnie Vegas a little bit and claims Jackknife is two words, though.

-From Music City, here comes Jeff Jarrett’s dumb ass. Art shits on him and his opponent without knowing it by saying they aren’t as big as the other guys. JJ struts and gets a little light show for his not over ass. “Nice tan, he must be down in the islands somewhere.”

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-123 Kid enters, all smiles and determined. His black gear makes him look so much better. Art just talked about him and doesn’t know who he is. “Looks like a boxer!”

MATCH NUMBER FOUR: KING OF THE RING QUARTERFINAL MATCH- Jeff Jarrett vs The 123 Kid

-Some karate shit is avoided and Kid takes a hard whip into the corner to let the heel take over.

-Kid beat Adam Bomb and Jarrett defeated Lex Luger. Despite everything, Art is really good at putting the action over as being better than the NFL.

-Good victory roll two count and good slingshot suplex by Jarrett. AWESOME roundhouse kick by Kid and his energy has him on my MVP scope particularly after missing a top rope flipping senton.

-Kid is all over and ends up on the back of his head missing a corner strike. Donovan calls Double J “a cutie.”

-The Figure Four gets countered and leads to a Randy Savage standing ovation.

WINNER: The 123 Kid at 4:39 with a small package

-Almost immediately, Jarrett piledrive spams Kid after the bell. Art calls the Marines. After three piledrivers, the refs try to stop him, but they get pushed off. Some second rope fist drops follow and the crowd is hot and somewhat mixed for this.

FINAL WORD: Under five minutes, what else can you expect from these two pros?

-Kid is helped to the back as the commentators are shown on camera recapping. It looks like Art is surprised to see himself on the monitor. The brackets are shown before a New Generation video. NASCAR and fighter jets are equated to the excitement of WWF action. Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Ivan Putski and Iron Sheik are shown as outdated and the four men who have advanced are featured as being better.

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-Todd interviews Bret Hart and he’s shown the clip of getting hit with the Jackknife. He puts over the move, but claims Diesel is a long way from hitting it again. He stumbles over his words a couple of times like you’d expect, but remains confident. He won’t reveal what family member will accompany him yet.

-It’s Champion vs Champion time now because the finish probably stinks, Piper is a maniac and Bret on top always gets the shaft. Diesel’s annoying music is joined by HBK’s annoying and cocky mannerisms. Some weak sparklers shoot from over the ring for them and it reminds me of the AEW Exploding Barbed Wire Death Match finish. I know we are late in the game, but let’s start a reference challenge around the worst moments in AEW’s history so far.

-Bret Hart walks out and he’s joined by Jim Neidhart to a great pop. Gorilla and Randy sell it well. Diesel is unfazed in the corner, however.

MATCH NUMBER FIVE: WWF and IC TITLE MATCH- Diesel w/Shawn Michaels (IC Champ) vs Bret Hart w/Jim Neidhart (WWF Champ)

-A little girl from five rows back gets the Hitman shades. Savage puts over Jim’s NFL background to impress Art. He responds in kind by saying he’ll get undressed to be Randy’s second if need be. Punches are traded until Bret loses the exchange.

-God damn, Bret Hart is good. He grounds Diesel, moves quickly with pins and makes Nash looks capable. Meanwhile, Art summarizes David and Goliath as “yeah, he hit him with a rock!”

-A Figure Four gets a big pop and Diesel sells agony. His length lets him get to the ropes easier, but he’s kept grounded.

-After throwing the long legs of his opponent into the post, Bret takes a clothesline on the floor from Shawn. Anvil is a rabid animal chasing him around and through the ring without catching him.

-Both men fall down on a catching bearhug spot, but they recover nicely with an impressive power up from Diesel before settling into the rest hold. Hart rebounds by dropkicking Diesel over the top, but misses a slingshot to the floor. Art is more concerned about the ring post.

-Art asks, “how do you guys get out of bed in the morning?” He really believes the applied backbreaker. He’s like a child watching for the first time.

-Shawn is hilarious by showing he isn’t touching Bret before slapping him in the face. We’ve gotten two Bret chest bumps in the corner so far.

-Diesel varies his submissions up and locks in an over-the-shoulder backbreaker that Bret wiggles out of to apply a sleeper.

-Bret is thrown into the ref, but Earl Hebner gets up soon enough. It was enough time to expose a turnbuckle, but Diesel eats it on a reversal. He barely stays on his feet taking punches and finally gets knocked down, bouncing off the ropes dangerously. After a weird roll off a second rope bulldog, Bret gets a good two count.

-HBK distracts the attempted Sharpshooter and gets punched off the apron, taking an AMAZING bump into the rail. Another good two count on a small package for the now MVP Bret.

-Snake Eyes is avoided, but a big boot is not. Diesel taunts over his opponent, but Hart performs a beautiful roll through to apply a modified Sharpshooter. They land right in the ropes, though.

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-Diesel blindsides Neidhart who awkwardly turned his back on him while Michaels hits Bret with a title belt. Diesel hits a big elbow drop and Bret still kicks out to everyone’s astonishment.

-The Jackknife is hit, but so is HBK on the floor and so is Diesel in the ring by the Anvil. He leaves in a huff while HBK piledrives Bret, starting a double team. Randy points out Jim’s exit and expresses wise confusion. Officials try to pry Shawn off as the official decision is finally announced.

WINNER: Diesel by DQ at 22:52

-Art thinks the referee is stealing the belt. Bret finally leaves after he’s announced as still the champ. A probable future conquest of his is shown with a sign for him in the front row.

FINAL WORD: Another one of those amazing career accomplishments by Bret Hart by making Kevin Nash look THAT good and essentially ending his own reign because of how well he put over his opponent.

-Pettengill interviews Jerry Lawler. Todd is more subdued than usual and Lawler takes time to shit on Art’s performance in between bad jokes and good bragging. Piper is donating his winning proceeds to a children’s hospital in Toronto and that naturally gets shit from Jerry.

-Razor walks out slower than before. Donovan is still asking if that’s his guy. IRS gets MORE promo time on his way to the ring. Good lord, it would be poetic justice if he somehow beat Art Donovan for LVP in the biggest slam dunk ever after coming so close so many times. He just can’t cut a decent promo and gets so many chances to do so.

MATCH NUMBER SIX: KING OF THE RING SEMIFINAL MATCH- Razor Ramon vs IRS

--Razor jumps IRS on the floor, but finds himself on the defense soon. A sloppy ass backbreaker by IRS officially moves him into the LVP lead shockingly.

-Art makes a football comparison and Randy says it’s nothing like it. He’s officially done with it all. IRS gets slammed hard into the steps.

-An old lady in the second row is adamantly yelling about IRS cheating with his feet on the rope. Art somehow understands that he does that for leverage.

-This old lady is now my focus as she yells “ASSHOLE” at IRS on Razor’s comeback. The crowd is a little exhausted.

-That Write-Off clothesline means nothing as Razor gets right up from it and deliver his finish that never gets kicked out of.

WINNER: Razor Ramon in 5:13 with the Razor’s Edge

FINAL WORD: These two just don’t have any chemistry with one another.

-Another Coliseum bonus of Bret Hart angrily looking for Jim Neidhart backstage to no avail. Man, these VHS extras are worthless.

-Pettengill updates the bracket and says Kid hasn’t been heard from before apologizing and transitioning back live for Owen’s entrance. He’s such a great, cocky heel that manages to back it up. “How much does this fella weigh” is met with long silence before an eventual answer from Macho. Kid’s theme is met with no Kid until he finally stumbles out only to be MURDERED by the gnarliest baseball slide of all time only to be followed up with a sick dive through the ropes. We are OFF.

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MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: KING OF THE RING SEMIFINAL MATCH- Owen Hart vs The 123 Kid

-A big splash is hit and somehow kicked out of before Owen takes Bret’s corner bump and takes a moonsault press into a cradle for a two count.

-Awesome chain wrestling and speed before Owen nails an enziguiri.

-The ref counts to three on a Northern Lights suplex, but Owen had his leg on the ropes. Kid hits a somersault plancha and Randy retires in a funny moment. Owen hits a sick German and belly-to-belly still for only two.

-They are getting ALL of their shit in for their time slot. Owen hits a GROSS fold up powerbomb before locking in his superior version of his brother’s finish.

WINNER: Owen Hart in 3:37 with a Sharpshooter

-Owen holds his arm up in victory while still applying the hold. Awesome.

FINAL WORD: That has to be the best sub four-minute match ever. It’s incredible how Owen can top his brother (granted with a much better partner) in 1/8 the time.

-Another Coliseum exclusive of Roddy Piper getting ready dressed entirely in denim. He starts taking his pants off first and claims that’s why he has six kids. He does a bit about a Hershey bar in his bag and this is WILD. He discusses Hell Comes to Frogtown jokes that the Piper impersonator Lawler hired made. Then, he acts like a fly and claims Lawler has no neck, so you can’t trust him. COCAINE EVERYBODY!!! On any other show, that’s a surefire LVP promo. He closes by talking about Rodney and Don King and something called King the Dog.

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-It’s tag title time as Art is overheard asking what’s left basically. Cornette and Fuji lead their charges to the ring. They are almost as weird of a group as the Nightmare Collective (and we have one more reference to go). Randy lies and says this is the best night of the sport he’s ever been a part of. Art rightfully asks how much Yoko weighs and freaks out when Gorilla answers 600+ pounds. Captain Lou Albano is announced as the personal advisor for the Headshrinkers and Afa is still their manager. CAPTAIN LOU WITH HIS SHIRT OPEN AND A TRIBAL SKIRT!!! What a look. How did they turn? Lou’s 19 tag champs are mentioned while Art asks how many people are gonna wrestle here? “These guys from the Pacific Islands or what?”

MATCH NUMBER EIGHT: WWF TAG TITLE MATCH- Crush and Yokozuna w/Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji vs The Headshrinkers w/Capt. Lou Albano and Afa (Champs)

-All four punch away at the bell. The champs are thrown into each other and then beat each other up. Headbutts from all four men are no sold before the heels are knocked to the floor. This is already better than I was thinking.

-Savage calls the Shrinkers his new favorite team of all time. He’s evaporating. Art complains about not being able to see because of Fuji’s flag. That’s 100% purposeful. Yoko is bumping and selling for his family really well.

-Fatu piledrives Crush. There are too many of those on the show. A flag to the back turns the tide. Crush hits his own piledriver and it’s the worst in the business. “I can’t believe a guy can be that big!” There’s always anticipation on a Yoko leg drop.

-“USA” chant for the Headshrinkers is pointed out as a positive by Macho as Samu tags in and knocks Yoko down on a simple clothesline. Double superkicks cause him to fall to the floor again.

-A throw into the post is so hard that it knocks Samu down off the top rope. Crush hits a sloppy second rope suplex and Lex Luger is out wearing more red, white and blue than usual.

-His distraction still only leads to a two count for Samu’s roll up. “Who’s the fellow with the American flag?” Gorilla frustratingly explains before the finish occurs without warning. Yoko is too fat to stop it.

WINNERS: The Headshrinkers at 9:35 to retain the titles after Fatu pins Crush with a superkick

-Crush and Lex brawl on the floor. Holy shit, those pants are actually part of a singlet on Lex and it is BAD. All the faces beat up Crush in the ring. Lex takes his shirt off and it confirms the outfit is ugly. Crush is gutsy and goes back in the ring before getting pulled out by Yoko.

FINAL WORD: I’m surprised how watchable that was.

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-Pettengill interview Owen in front of the bracket. He calls Bret a loser tonight and sarcastically wishes his dad a Happy Father’s Day. Back live and I have to give the audience member wearing a Live hat and a Fred Flintstone shirt a shout out. Randy and Gorilla keep reminding Art that his pick is still alive and he responds with “and then he’ll be king?” Razor enters one last time and Art wishes he’d “get rid of that toothpick though!”

-Owen emerges like a boss from the strobe tunnel and yells at the fans. He’s incredible and on another level. MVP. They talk about the Kid managing to compete again and are surprised it was allowed. They must have the same doctor that cleared Matt Hardy against Sammy Guevara. (That concludes our reference challenge).

MATCH NUMBER NINE: KING OF THE RING FINALS- Razor Ramon vs Owen Hart

-Agile chain wrestling from Owen before he hauls off and slaps Ramon. Both guys seem tired and botch a slam, so Owen slaps again.

-After a struggle, Owen bridges out of a pin. These two seem gassed for some reason, but could just be incompatible.

-Randomly, Art says Razor is going to lose because of how the show has gone. Then, he roots for him again after taking a spin kick.

-The speed of a flip on a Rocker Dropper attempt by Owen is juxtaposed nicely against the power of Razor’s chokeslam and fallaway slam.

-Hart gets crotched on the top and takes a top rope belly-to-back. The Edge is called for and it’s a testament to both guys that the crowd is still into this. The Bad Guy gets backdropped over the top in a counter and seems really hurt.

-Neidhart runs out to help Razor up only to clothesline him and throw him into the post. The crowd is aghast. Owen climbs to the top and earns his big heat.

WINNER: Owen Hart in 6:36 to win the King of the Ring with a top rope elbow drop

-An immediate “I DID IT” and “I hope you’re watching, Dad” is paired with some pyro and a beat down of Razor after the bell. It’s completed with a Hart Attack.

FINAL WORD: Not a fitting end to the tournament match-wise, but still successful in its ultimate goal.

-Ray Rougeau interviews Bret backstage and he’s just shocked with no comment. The commentators analyze and Savage theorizes Anvil made sure Bret didn’t lose the title. “Did you two guys act like that when you were in the ring?” He’s TOTALLY IGNORED, so he just starts looking around the crowd.

-Todd reads off a scroll for the coronation ceremony to regal music. Jack Tunney is out and Owen takes the mic to yell about doing what he’d say he’d do. He wants respect and doesn’t want Tunney to do the honors. He wants the only man he trusts in his family: Neidhart. He forces Todd to a knee as he takes the scepter and robe. This is great how stupid and cool this looks at the same time. Anvil is great here as well. The crown is WAY TOO BIG for anyone. He interrupts Todd again and proclaims he’ll be known as the King of Harts from now on. That’s one of the greatest nicknames of all time for the MVP.

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-Art is being left out of the commentary shot now and I’m sad for him. A recap of the Lawler/Piper feud is shown with Lawler insults interspersed with Piper’s home video retorts. He’s sitting at a piano in one of them. Another shows his horrific beard. The impersonator bit is shown and the guy is very scrawny, but does the voice well.

-Gorilla claims it’s the New Generation as a Piper/Lawler match is main eventing. The King comes out to a pretty underwhelming reaction. “I can’t believe this show, all these guys are in great shape,” Art proclaims before asking if Jerry used to be the King. Those are fair statements and questions. He takes his sweet time walking around ringside and gets mic time in the ring. He does a bit about the governor to silence and the governor is shown laughing it off in the crowd. The kids in Canada are made fun of, but it’s another swing and a miss. Art thinks he should be a preacher and that might save him from being LVP just for being so on the nose without even knowing it.

-Bagpipers a plenty come out and line the aisle before Roddy enters to a great ovation. He calls out the impersonator to join him for…reasons? Randy explains it well enough that the kid realized he was being embarrassed by Lawler. It’s a shame he’s not getting MVP for his best work at the desk ever, but that’s probably fair. Piper speaks and the two Scots do his line from They Live before the kid talks even more.

MATCH NUMBER TEN: Jerry Lawler vs Roddy Piper w/Roddy Piper impersonator

-A kilt throw to the face and slugs/bites on the heel to start. King is locked in a full nelson and the kid pokes him in the eyes right in front of the ref.

-Shane McMahon-level punches on Jerry. Art nails it: “I don’t think Roddy like this guy.”

-This is such a rudimentary effort so far. They finally lock up three minutes in and it ends with three kicks directly into Lawler’s asshole.

-The kid gets chased and Piper tackles his pursuer, but they awkwardly knock the kid down anyway. Roddy’s head hits the post and Jerry is still going after this random guy. He’s working just as much as the wrestlers. Piper covers him up from stomps.

-Jerry’s offense on Piper consists strictly of punches and chokes. Now, we are in a rest hold.

-Art is just silent now. Even he is bored by this. A long tease for a piledriver from the one guy who should be giving them. He hits it and wastes time, letting Piper recover and kick out. “They better start playing the bagpipes!”

-The Rowdy One spits at Lawler and refuses to stay down. Eye pokes and two bulldogs turn the tide. The ref gets bumped on the block of the third bulldog. A foreign object punch by King and I think Art though he was gonna whip his dick out.

-The longest two count ever by the recovering ref is broken up by the kid throwing Lawler’s feet off of the ropes. Piper kicked out just in case as well.

-Another long ass count makes me watch this match even longer than I need to. That’s exacerbated by the ugly finishing sequence.

WINNER: Roddy Piper at 12:18 with a belly-to-back suplex

FINAL WORD: What a mind boggling main event between two legends with less chemistry than an English class.

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-Piper hoists the kid onto his shoulder after throwing Lawler out of the ring. Pyro and a Gorilla sign off and a lower third means we are done…NOPE! One last Coliseum exclusive featuring Shawn Michaels putting Diesel over backstage. He claims they will be together forever in an odd piece of blatant foreshadowing. They yell at the cameraman to leave and I hope he got hazard pay. Was this necessary to include?

THE LAST IMAGE: Shawn Michaels and Diesel

 

THE WRAP UP

 

FINAL MVP of PPV: We are living in the Owen Hart moment during this period of the diary and I’m all for it. His legend continues to grow in three distinct performances and some great mic work.

FINAL LVP of PPV: Look…Art Donovan is historically bad, but he TRIED. He honest to goodness tried and he was just woefully miscast. Plus, over the course of the show, he becomes stupidly endearing. Meanwhile, I can finally write IRS in bold because he sucks on the mic and wrestled two bad matches. Only Mike Rotunda can prevent the inevitable.

MY FAVORITE MATCH: Owen Hart vs The 123 Kid

MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Roddy Piper vs Jerry Lawler

FINAL THOUGHTS: It didn’t reach the levels of its predecessor, but it was still a decent show overall. Art Donovan makes this show infamous and it needs to be seen just for that. It should also be viewed for the amazing work of a set few individuals and the pieces put in place for stories in the future. The main event sucked and the guest commentator sucked, but the rest is a good time. MULLET RECOMMENDS

NEXT TIME: Hulk Hogan debuts for WCW at the 1994 Bash at the Beach. In retrospect, I’m shocked Art Donovan didn’t ask where the Hulkster was five or six times throughout the show.