Having covered almost a decade’s worth of shows so far, I’ve definitely identified plenty of things that don’t exist in the modern era of wrestling that are not missed. I feel like there have been less of that on the flip side.
The King of the Ring is definitely missed.
One-night tournaments are always tricky and haven’t been successful thus far, but I’m always a sucker for them. You can elevate multiple people all at once, you can strap the rocket to someone and you can tell some easy, but wonderful, stories. This concept, unlike others like Money in the Bank or gimmick match-themed PPVs like Hell in a Cell or Elimination Chamber, doesn’t get old and has proven to be successful as long as the follow up is there.
This show is a big reason as to why the King of the Ring has the reputation it still has among die-hard fans. I’m going to enjoy this era of anointing a new start or reaffirming a big name through one night of hell. I’m also going to enjoy insane commentary performance and rowdy crowds.
This is also the last time (once again) that we say good-bye to Hulk Hogan in the WWF. If the Iron Sheik losing the title launches the Rock N Wrestling period and Stone Cold Steve Austin launches the Attitude Era, the red and yellow leaving firmly puts us in the New Generation era. That also means that we are in for several years of downwards business.
So be it. I’m here for the ride.
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 61: WWF KING OF THE RING 1993
Written on 4/8/2021
THE FIRST THING YOU SEE: Animated lions on a curtain claw at each other with the classic kingly music. The bracket is shown and each quarterfinal match is previewed. Nobody gets you ready for a PPV via voiceover better than Vince McMahon. The WWF Title match isn’t mention before Jim Ross welcomes us from the unfortunately named Nutter Center in Dayton, Ohio. Before I understand geography, I thought this was another show I could go to. Randy Savage claims they are in Dayton because Hulk Hogan wanted to defend the championship in the heartland of the USA. It’s more like he didn’t want to lose to Bret Hart. Bobby Heenan says Crush will be another victim of Shawn Michaels in their IC Title match.
-Razor Ramon enters in green and the crowd immediately chants “1 2 3” because that famous upset on Raw just occurred. Man, that’s one of the best stories of all time. This round is contested in one fall contests with a 15-minute time limit. Razor gets big hear and his opponent, Bret Hart, gets a great pop for his entrance. The stage with the throne and robe for the winner is shown in a panning shot. What happened to this good camera work? Bobby lists Bret’s credentials as Macho just screams, “Do it, Hitman!”
MATCH NUMBER ONE: KING OF THE RING QUARTERFINAL MATCH-Razor Ramon vs Bret Hart
-I just noticed that this show is in 4:3 aspect radio. It’s like I’m watching the Snyder Cut again.
-Bret punches and grounds Razor as JR mentions the 13 Hart kids. Bobby says “one of each!” He’s the first MVP yet again.
-HUGE clothesline by Razor, but Bret dodges his elbow follow up and goes back to work on the arm.
-Ross says Bret is the number one see. I’m going to look up who everyone beat in their qualifying match. Bret got a bye because he was the former champ (and a former King of the Ring, but they won’t acknowledge that). Razor defeated El Matador, so he also got a bye.
-Heenan asks for a pick to win the whole thing. Savage takes Mr. Perfect and JR won’t do it, so Oklahoma gets blamed. Bret gets launched into the post and Bret is another early MVP for selling his ass off early.
-Another loud “1 2 3” chant as the heel responds with a fallaway slam and a British Bulldog-like running powerslam.
-A series of evasions on elbow attempts in a nice spot for Bret before he starts his usual comeback.
-His second rope elbow drop gets a great two count as does a roll-up. A bulldog is blocked into that gnarly corner chest bump.
-The Razor’s Edge is called for and Hart backslide reverses it again for a small package and maybe the best near fall I’ve ever seen. I legit thought it was over.
-I love counter wrestling.
WINNER: Bret Hart at 10:28 with a crossbody counter out of a second rope belly-to-back suplex
FINAL WORD: These two have amazing chemistry. That’s a hot start.
-An encounter from Superstars between the Undertaker and Mr. Hughes is recapped. Paul Bearer is taken out and Harvey Wippleman gives his charge the urn while Taker battles Giant Gonzalez. A shot with the urn grounds the Deadman. The camera cuts away when Hughes goes for exaggerated shots to the head, but he does get one UNPROTECTED shot to Paul. Back live with Hughes standing in the ring pointing at himself with Harvey holding the urn. The screen shows Hughes’ video is just his name and a boring still image. It’s not as creative as columns and a bust like Mr. Perfect as he walks to the ring. So, this is Mister vs Mister? Which one sings “Kyrie” and which one sings “Broken Wings”? Today’s reference challenge: 80s bands with two songs! Perfect flips his towel onto Hughes’ shoulder EFFORTLESSLY. Bobby does a Brain Scan on the gum swat and claims a foul ball.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: KING OF THE RING QUARTERFINAL MATCH- Mr. Hughes w/Harvey Wippleman vs Mr. Perfect
-Bobby calls JR Monsoon and says he looks like him. It’s taken as a compliment.
-Ross talks about Hughes’ penalty history in college. He defeated Kamala in the first round while Perfect had to wrestle Doink three times to qualify. Nice arm drag and dropkick early as Hughes is already trying to come up a level.
-Hennig is selling pushes big, then eats a punch and flies over the top rope. Of course, that’s an MVP case for him.
-The pace is slowed with a neck vise and a cut off with a big boot. Perfect can even make Curtis look great. By the way, what the hell did he do to get Vince or anybody’s attention?
-Front flip on an Irish Whip into the corner. Bret Hart gets an inset promo about who he prefers to the wrestle. He gives good analysis about brawling and endurance and wants Perfect because he likes him better and he’s more his style.
-Weird botch as both men hug and fall to the mat before a dodge against the ropes. Hughes has to jump so hard on every bump.
-The heel gets frustrated after a flurry of punches and uses his newly acquired object AKA the urn.
WINNER: Mr. Perfect in 6:03 by DQ
FINAL WORD: We are protecting Mr. Hughes? Seriously? Here’s an LVP for his efforts.
-The updated bracket is shown before Mean Gene’s prerecorded message with Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji. A stereo is playing massage parlor music. Fuji is angry and claims the title was stolen. This might be his best promo ever. Then, Yoko actually talks and in English, too! He calls Hogan an American hero and claims he will go down. Dope shit.
-Bam Bam Bigelow enters the ring to boos. His opponent is Hacksaw Jim Duggan and he has not been missed. His singlet doesn’t help. JR says he gets a tremendous ovation and Bobby doesn’t know why.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: KING OF THE RING QUARTERFINAL MATCH- Bam Bam Bigelow vs Jim Duggan
-Jim pantomimes shooting Bam Bam with the 2X4 at the bell and HOOs around until a lock up and a couple of collisions.
-Bobby tells JR to “can it” and nobody cares as Duggan’s amateur credentials are rattled off. This definitely came from Vince over the headset directly. Bigelow is sent to the floor on a clothesline.
-Macho claims this is the first King of the Ring….as a former King of the Ring winner. He’s sadly LVP again. Speaking of which, Duggan defeated Papa Shango and Bam Bam beat Typhoon to get here.
-Duggan hurts his ribs in the corner and can’t lift Bam and takes punishment. Duggan refuses to fall properly and rolls around on throws. He’s locked into two bearhugs before biting his way out.
-Hacksaw finally slams Bigelow and GASP shows smarts by moving before a kick.
-Right on cue, he misses a three-point stance like a dope and hits his head on the buckle. Then, that’s all she wrote.
WINNER: Bam Bam Bigelow in 5:01 with a top rope headbutt
FINAL WORD: Why is Bigelow tasked with eliminating all of the late 80s/early 90s relics that are leaving? Anyway, this match was absolutely what you’d expect.
-Terry Taylor is backstage for a Coliseum Video exclusive with the Steiner Brothers and the Smokin Gunns. OMG I have to deal with Billy Gunn this early?!?! I might need a reoccurring segment for him then. How about I judge if he earns the infamous name “Billy Bitchcakes” at any point? Taylor is so unnaturally enthusiastic. Billy has his Southern accent down and he’s happy to be teaming with brothers. Scott is so reserved here, but Rick is not. Terry keeps saying “good point” and none of them are. What a bad interview.
-The Narcissist enters and there’s a giant mirror in the ring. A way too big mirror. Ross talks about his CFL history and both men’s undefeated streak as Lex poses. Jack Tunney has claimed that Luger’s elbow is legal, but the refs want a pad placed on it. He ignores them and poses more with a stupid look on his face. Mike Chioda and Earl Hebner argue with him before Fink announces that he has to wear the pad or forfeit. Heenan’s Brain Scan claims a wrench is in there when it’s actually just six screws. Tatanka finally runs out, but Lex attacks as his posing is interrupted.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: KING OF THE RING QUARTERFINAL MATCH- The Narcissist Lex Luger vs Tatanka
-Tatanka returns to the ring and awkwardly pushes the mirror on top of Lex. It thankfully doesn’t break and finally someone removes it so the match can really start.
-It’s all Tatanka early with chops, clotheslines and backdrops.
-Bobby sadly gets a little offensive by claiming Tatanka doesn’t know the time because of something with the moon, then talks like Tonto.
-Apparently, the WWF Title and the King of the Ring are equally prestigious?
-Inset Bam Bam Bigelow promo and he claims he prefers “the Indian” because they are feuding over hair or something. The armbar is still being worked as Brain whiffs on another joke about Buffalo Bill Bigelow scalping back in the day. Savage just keeps responding to these by saying “useless information.”
-Narcissist hits a terrible running knee as he starts to work offense. Jim recycles the facts about his GPA and Naval offer from the NWA days for Lex. Yeah, that fits his narcissism.
-“Hey, how are ya! Hey, how are ya!” Don’t laugh. A bunch of elbow drops and Lex looks gassed seven minutes in. He’s shouting like crazy. LVP.
-A close up shows how poorly the heel’s chinlock is applied. Heenan has some randomly out of place enthusiasm. He’s off my MVP list.
-Titty bounce after a clothesline. Who does that tell off? He’s recycling elbows now.
-Whose Line time as Bobby claims Lex is up 138,000 to 4 on points and Randy says they don’t matter. Every Tatanka roll up or near fall is snuffed out and followed up by Luger just walking around eating time.
-Four minutes left, but only JR mentions it and not the Fink to the crowd. The face comeback with the war dance starts. Lex does have some good close calls on kick outs like Shawn Michaels.
-Top rope chops don’t do it and a crossbody misses with two minutes to go.
-The heel can’t put the face away with powerslams and clotheslines. Time updates are still not given to the crowd with 60 seconds left. It’s great at home, but not live.
-Backbreaker by Lex and he takes too much time to cover. It gets a two and the bell just rings.
WINNER: Time Limit Draw at 15:00 (14:59 really)
FINAL WORD: Odd choices all around here. It’s like releasing Nena’s 99 Luftballoons and THEN releasing 99 Red Balloons in English (and we have one to go.)
-The official decision is announced and Lex hilariously freaks out. Bam Bam is announced as moving to the finals to boos. Luger gets the mic and requests five more minutes. The crowd and Tatanka agree. Lex takes his elbow pad off and KO’s Tatanka instead. He’s so sweaty.
-The bracket is updated with Bigelow in the finals as Tatanka is helped to the back. I sit through a Drake State Farm commercial before Mean Gene interview Bret Hart and Mr. Perfect. It sounds like Okerlund calls him “Lex Loser” and that makes me happy. Gene stirs the pot about Bret preferring to work Perfect and Hart tries to minorly backpedal. They argue a little bit and Gene tells them to relax. You started it!
-Their second-generation credentials are shared and Bret claims that Stu Hart always beat Larry Hennig. Offense is taken and Hennig claims to still owe Bret for SummerSlam two years ago. Hart needles him on it. This is a great face interaction. Curt fakes a handshake as Bret’s theme hits and he leaves. Perfect gets more time to talk and crushes it like usual.
-Hart enters to a naturally tamer reaction than earlier because that’s what happens during one-night tournaments. Perfect enters and both men are cheered. The NBA Finals with MJ and the Bulls vs Charles and the Suns are going on. I want to watch that game instead of this (but not during this match). Another dope towel throw that Hebner catches.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: KING OF THE RING SEMIFINAL MATCH- Bret Hart vs Mr. Perfect
-Bret’s fingers are taped and it’s pointed out as residual damage by JR from the Razor match.
-Macho Man picked Perfect because Bret beat him at SummerSlam. Huh? Great counter wrestling and crisp reversals early as Bobby puts the match over as great already.
-The audience is distracted by something, but their attention is brought back by a Curt chop. Another great exchange leads to another headlock takeover. Perfect is getting frustrated.
-First cheating of the match sort of happens as Perfect hits a knee against the ropes on a clean break and he understands as the ref admonishes him. Bret is dropkicked to the floor.
-Perfect invites Bret back in and holds the ropes, then puts the boots to him to golf applause. Everyone’s salty pasts are discussed.
-Bret takes some big chops that I know he hates. Heenan says he’ll considering taking Perfect back if he wins the tournament and apologizes to him.
-HOLY SHIT. Bret gets slung from the apron with the ropes and smacks the railing and equipment on the floor SO HARD. Whose old school Pepsi is that on ice? Bret is on another level with his crazy selling.
-Great missile dropkick for two as Bret slyly gets his foot on the rope off-camera for the break. The Irish whip chest bump follows as Hennig is getting frustrated.
-Cut off and superplex by Hart for a count of 2.9999999.
-Curtis Axel might legitimately do that leg kick rope flip spot better than his dad. Hitman puts the Figure Four on and Bobby wants to be slapped because he’s cheering for Perfect.
-Today’s refs would check if Bret was okay after every spot because he is so realistically and sympathetically selling. Even a hair pull looks lethal.
-Savage has a good nod to Adrian Adonis with a Goodnight Irene line on a Perfect sleeper. He delays breaking the hold, then has his knee go out on the back off and slaps it a few times in a nice detail. He applies the move and uses the ropes for leverage. The timer is right on point because WWF can afford a clock that works.
-One hell of an uppercut by Hart and a hair mare that crotches his opponent on the post in the corner. His usual sequence can’t get it done.
-The Sharpshooter is attempted, but Perfect grabs the injured fingers and stomps on them. The PerfectPlex is then blocked and they suplex each other over the top beautifully. It’s 1993 and they did that spot better than they do now.
-Perfect fakes a leg injury to get a small package on, but it gets reversed at two and it’s awesome.
WINNER: Bret Hart at 18:56 with a small package
-Perfect rolls to the floor and yells at the ref while kicking the steps. He storms back to the ring and gets in Bret’s face before offering a handshake. It’s accepted and they separately limp away.
FINAL WORD: This was 100% better than their more famous SummerSlam match. This should be studied in wrestling schools; it’s that good.
-Macho Man is drinking out of a Macho Man cup and that’s hilarious to me. He took his hat and glasses off during the last match and is legitimately sweating giving a thumbs up for that match. He’s temporarily off the LVP list. Ross calls Heenan “weasel” and it isn’t dignified with a response.
-Mean Gene is with Jimmy Hart’s jacket that features Hulk’s face close up. Hogan is called the “greatest athlete of all time” in the lie of the century. Hulk starts talking and we finally pull out as he shows off his arms. He can’t say “America” properly and won’t be sneak attacked without water. Huh?!? Jimmy talks about managing Hulk and gets very jacked about the USA when he’s supposed to be answering a question about Mr. Fuji. The “heartland of the USA” is mentioned way too much. Dayton is NOT that great.
-It’s WWF Title time, so you know the result already because it’s not the main event. Yokozuna enters “from the Polynesian Islands” as Japanese photographers follow him. Even from behind, THAT camera guy is suspicious. From the front, he’s obvious. A ceremony with actual Japanese geishas giving him flowers and bowing commences as “Hogan” chants start and Macho seems mad that Hulk hasn’t defended the title until now. Real American hits and the reaction is admittedly deafening. He takes it all in and seems to say “so long” before pointing at his opponent. He looks leaner and meaner and that’s put over for speed purposes. Maybe bust out an enziguiri like the Muta match here? What is it about shitty guys in the front row dressed like Hulk Hogan? Yoko already looks bigger and Savage says Bret should have gotten his rematch first.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: WWF TITLE MATCH- Yokozuna w/Mr. Fuji vs Hulk Hogan w/Jimmy Hart (Champion)
-I’m glad Bobby Heenan was interrupted as he’s about to talk about Hulk wearing yellow. Yoko does the sumo stance as the champ is fine chipping 70 seconds off the clock before lock up. They do nothing but consult with their managers.
-A Benihana joke precedes Hulk being thrown down. Chops and back scratches follow and Hulk is selling well enough.
-A slam and it’s all Yoko so far. He finally misses a back splash in the corner and Hulk responds by punching and punching and punching and biting.
-Hogan fails to slam the big man twice. This is paced like someone is milking the time clock when they are already collecting overtime.
-Two Axe Bombers, but Yoko nails his own. Hulk bumps so delicately and doesn’t even make a sound hitting the mat. Yoko sure does missing a splash.
-Let’s pick it up with a bearhug, huh? Hulk tries to slide his hands to break, but he can’t. Now, they are on the side of his ribs as this hold is still locked in. He fades amidst another “USA” chant. The arm is raised, it drops twice and it stays up on three.
-It takes 11 punches to get out of the bearhug, but a back elbow makes the Hulkster not bump AGAIN. He’s forced to on a big belly-to-belly for two and here’s the Hulk up.
-Three chops to the head, the point and punches. The big boot doesn’t drop Yoko on two attempts, but the third finally makes him timber.
-Hulk hits the leg drop, but Yoko kicks out and it kills the crowd immediately. That’s awesome. Fuji gets knocked of the apron. The slam is called for again as THAT photographer gets on the apron.
-This Grateful Dead looking motherfucker shoots a fireball from his camera somehow. The throat thrust and a poetic finisher follow.
WINNER: Yokozuna at 13:11 to win the title with a leg drop
-The crowd dies again on the count of three. What is it about guys in the front row dressed like Hogan that makes the heels win?
FINAL WORD: It’s not a great match, but Hulk did well enough putting Yokozuna over despite all the bells and whistles.
-Hogan sells the eyes very badly as the new champ continues the attack. The Banzai Drop is kept tame as Bobby proclaims Hulkamania as dead. The commentators talk about crying children. SHOW THEM! They show two looking more bored than anything. Pat Patterson and his merry men of officials help Hulk to the back and we won’t see him on WWF TV for nine years now. The replay shows the photographer kicking Hart off of him before the fire as Yoko bows and shows the title off. The announcers do a good job mentioning that he couldn’t be slammed and he kicked out of the big finish. More pictures are taken as the patriotic chants continue. Macho complains about the title being thrown down while Yoko gets out of the ring. Ease up, man. Yokozuna oozes star here.
-Terry Taylor sounds like such a mark in another Coliseum exclusive chasing Mr. Perfect down for thoughts. He doesn’t really want to talk and leaves. Taylor wraps it up very unnaturally and like an LVP.
-Mean Gene interviews Shawn Michaels and the WWF debut of KEVIN NASH. Man, only one PPV Vinnie Vegas appearance? He already looks money not being in a shitty green or pink outfit. Yokozuna is mentioned as the official WWF Champ as HBK calls Hulk a dinosaur and not the caliber of himself. Gene mentions Jurassic Park and the name of Diesel is unveiled right here. He’s called the insurance policy and will protect the champ every step of the way.
-The Steiner Brothers and the Smokin’ Gunns enter to the real brothers’ theme. This is a death spot, but they still get a good pop. Live gun shots! Is New Jack there? Money Inc. and the Headshrinkers enter to DiBiase’s theme as the shock about Hogan’s loss permeates the conversation.
MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: The Steiner Brothers and the Smokin’ Gunns vs Money Inc. and The Headshrinkers w/Afa
-Scott and Ted starts and I can get behind this. Crisp arm drag by DiBiase as JR gives his collegiate background. Add parentage to his pointless repertoire as well.
-Hulk dominates the conversation thanks to Randy while good action is going on. Two clotheslines over the top by Scott and Rick attacks on the floor as well.
-Fatu vs Bart now and it’s a good sequence with the heels constantly cutting off the young Gunn and dominating.
-Bobby hits JR with the line of the century as Billy’s rodeo scholarship is discussed: “you know anybody who didn’t go to school??!?!” He asks if Billy has a degree in roping before I realize that the rodeo stuff is legit about Billy. That definitely makes it 1 for 1 on earning the “Bitchcakes” name.
-Ross ignores Heenan’s comment and the concept of IRS by mentioning Rotunda’s Syracuse credentials and tag titles with Barry Windham. I can hear Vince throwing his headset.
-Savage can’t focus on the match and that sucks because it puts him back in the LVP hunt. Good teamwork by all 4 heels as Bart takes a good beatdown.
-The camera focuses on Afa speaking gibberish, then holding Money Inc’s briefcase.
-Double down clothesline before Billy gets the lukewarm tag. He does finger guns after every move on Ted before eating a Stun Gun. Billy is out after the Million Dollar Dream, but Ted stupidly lets it go. He picks him up for more punishment and then WHAT.
WINNERS: The Steiner Brothers and Smokin’ Gunns at 7:02 when Billy Gunn pins Ted DiBiase with a small package
-All eight men brawl at the bell as the Gunns’ music plays. The heels are ridden from the ring and the faces huddle in celebration.
FINAL WORD: That would have migrated into very good if Rick actually tagged in at some point or Scott did more than one minute of shit.
-The commentators talk about the earth-shattering night and Bobby is so happy about Hulk losing. Yokozuna is backstage with Fuji, Mean Gene and Jack Tunney. There’s louder oriental music while this cuck of a president congratulates the new champ without mentioning the controversy. Fuji is almost an MVP with his happiness and words and attitude. He laughs at America as Yokozuna stares at the camera. Fuji talks about Prince Akahito. Gene is scared of cameras and wants decorum. They will celebrate in America to rub our noses in it.
-Fink announces the IC Title match and Crush enters. This singlet looks different and shittier somehow. Hulk Hogan will apparently be okay and has no permanent eye damage because that’s what is most important right now. Macho Man claims he’ll want revenge. Shawn Michaels and Diesel’s bedazzled jacket enters. Marty Jannetty already won the title and lost it since WrestleMania. That’s the most Marty thing ever.
MATCH NUMBER EIGHT: IC TITLE MATCH- Crush vs Shawn Michaels w/Diesel (Champion)
-JR insists Crush is agile. HBK takes a shoulder tackle and outbumps Perfect on the night right away by bouncing out of the ring.
-A cocky jab by Shawn leads to an immediate beg off. Two leapfrogs and two dropkicks by Crush and I think HBK should be studied in bringing something out in people.
-“A friend in need is a pest” as Bobby defends taking the easy way in life. Several reps on a press slam as Macho Man overemphasizes Crush being able to slam Yokozuna.
-Who is this Crush?!?!?! He just hit a great tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and Michaels bails again and hides behind Diesel. Crush stupidly stares him down and gets hit from behind and hits the post. Diesel gets one in, too, as Crush is called “coconut head.”
-Crush is dead weight being put back into the ring, but kicks out at two.
-A front facelock after some axe handles makes me notice how young Mike Chioda is.
-UGLY throw out of a facelock to the floor has Shawn’s face and throat catches the rope on the way down.
-High impact moves keep Shawn on his toes and nearly escaping. Doink appears or should I say Doinks appear. This gag is still going on? Both Doinks are smoking a cigar and redo their mirror stuff. You can tell this one is the Brooklyn Brawler.
-What a phony, ridiculous end. Crush fucked up all the credit I just gave him.
WINNER: Shawn Michaels in 11:14 to retain the title with a Sweet Chin Music to the back causing Crush’s head to hit the buckle
FINAL WORD: It won’t make a compilation DVD of Shawn Michaels’ career, but it was solid.
-Crush immediately runs after the Doinks as Shawn gets a high-five from Diesel. Macho is so frustrated by everything from the night and has no real words. Mean Gene interviews Bam Bam Bigelow about his advantage. He yells a lot and the past of the King of the Ring being ignored bothers me.
-Fink announces the coronation will immediately follow the match as Bigelow enters to little fanfare because everyone has had a sad night. Bobby puts everything on Bam Bam as Bret enters with a little limp. It’s subtle, but the announcers pick up on it.
MATCH NUMBER NINE: KING OF THE RING FINALS- Bam Bam Bigelow vs Bret Hart
-Loud stomps and clubbing blows on Bret, but a press slam is countered into a press cover for two as Bret starts working the arm.
-Why does this have a 60-minute time limit if JR focuses on only having 25 minutes of satellite time left?
-Hart is insane. He takes a press slam clear over the top rope and he’s done. The commentators insist it’s over, but the heel stops the count and brings him back in the ring.
-The number one contender for the WWF Title is focused on. It’s a shame it won’t matter.
-Macho’s “who can slam Yokozuna” is like Art Donovan’s “how much this guy weigh.”
-Bam does everything safe, but hard. I’m impressed with his belly-to-backs and several of his headbutts.
-The bearhug is applied as Brain insists Bret is too dumb to quit. He keeps kicking out, too.
-Bam goes HARD into the rail and I think he hurt a child’s leg. So much for Bret Hart never hurting anyone. Bret jumps off the apron and gets caught and rammed into the post on the floor and then slammed onto the carpeted aisle.
-As Bigelow gets back in the ring, Luna Vachon comes out to hit Bret in the back with a soft chair shot. JR begs for it not to end this way. One slam in the ring, a pose from the top rope and the headbutt give Bam Bam the three count. The crowd is totally depressed. The bell is about to ring…
-…BUT WAIT! Earl Hebner runs out and waves it off. He explains the situation and the decision is reversed. NO! Fink stands corrected and the match just continues. This creates a GAPING HOLE in logic. Why could this happen, but not the Hulk Hogan fireball thing? This hole is bigger than the one left when Til Tuesday didn’t have another hit after Voices Carry (and the reference challenge is done.)
-Fink is raked over the coals by Savage for his minor, and planned, mistake as Bigelow continues to batter the Hitman.
-Another bearhug, then an over-the-shoulder backbreaker. Bret’s essentially dead, but slips out and hits his own belly-to-back. The commentators can’t believe it.
-The senton misses, but Bret is too beat up to capitalize. Back to submissions for the heel and the face has to resort to going to the eyes to lock a sleeper on.
-A dropkick dumps Bigelow to the floor and it’s followed by a plancha to the floor and punches. Randy has spelled “Respect” three times in regards to the former world champ. A second rope clothesline only gets a two count.
-A second rope bulldog sets up the Sharpshooter, but it’s avoided before another bearhug. This time, a bite breaks it up and Bam hits a cross body in retaliation for two. Bobby quits and claims he’s never seen a fight like this before.
-The little man on the big man’s shoulders and he’s simply the best. What a HUGE ovation here.
WINNER: Bret Hart at 17:18 to win the King of the Ring with a victory roll
FINAL WORD: Over booked and monotonous at times, but still a classic story told.
-Randy Savage immediately runs in the ring and congratulates Bret. Tony Garea tells him to hurry up and get to the coronation. Gene puts the robes on him and he looks silly, but great.
-Once the scepter and crown are presented, Gene proclaims him King of the Ring. Before Bret can talk, Jerry Lawler interrupts and lays claim to the throne. He might let Bret be a prince if he will kiss his feet. Bret says he had no guts to enter the tournament and starts the Burger King chant idea. Hart gets jumped with the scepter because nobody can truly be happy tonight. The crown is stepped on and the throne is thrown on Bret’s back hard as fuck. The front office is really fucking up tonight as Lawler chokes Bret and throws a stool on him. Bret gets kicked down the stage’s steps and officials are finally out as Ross calls it terrible. Jerry plays an excellent heel in the background. We get reminded of the Hulk Hogan trademarks before we fade to black on this sad image.
THE LAST IMAGE: Bret Hart
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: This is the biggest no-brainer of all-time: Bret Hart was the best part of the three best matches on the show and it was all because of him.
FINAL LVP of PPV: Lex Luger continues to flounder, but Randy Savage is drowning with his words at the table. He throws two commentary GOATs off with every crazy sentence.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Bret Hart vs Mr. Perfect
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Bam Bam Bigelow vs Jim Duggan
FINAL THOUGHTS: This show is Bret Hart’s magnum opus and shows that it is his time no matter how long it’s going to take Vince McMahon to notice. Shows like this are needed sometimes: it’s a kick in the stomach that sets things in motion for the future. The crowd in attendance might not be happy, but they will buy a ticket to see the revenge at the next show. It’s the rare tourney show that works. MULLET RECOMMENDS
NEXT TIME: WCW has a Blast at the Beach for the last time before it becomes a Bash. That’s a tongue twister.