I sat here and couldn’t come up with an introduction for today’s entry. So…there isn’t one.
This show doesn’t deserve it.
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 54: WCW HALLOWEEN HAVOC 1992
Written on 2/28/21
THE FIRST THING YOU SEE: The same dark ass animated castle from the last Halloween Havoc with Sting howling and Jake Roberts laughing. The spirits of Ron Simmons, the Barbarian, Masahiro Chono and Rick Rude float by before we go live in Philadelphia. Oh boy, I wonder if Hat Guy will be in the front row. Tony Schiavone is accompanied by BRUNO SAMMARTINO! I hope he messes up his plurals. Tony asking him about Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal is hilarious. The 12 match options pop up on the screen. The universe where Sting and Jake wrestle in a Barbed Wire match is where I want to be. Then, Cactus Jack is shown training the Barbarian in a dirty ring by getting slammed by Ice Train, Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker and others. Jack has a silly headband on. The Tag Title match is previewed as well because Terry Gordy is not there. He probably had enough of Watts’ BS already. The new champs are Dustin Rhodes and Barry Windham (meaning the last PPV was pointless) and they are having problems. It’s been three months and everything is different!!! Dustin slaps Barry on WCW Saturday Night to highlight this. Rick Rude is wrestling in the NWA and US Title matches as well.
-Missy Hyatt has more on that situation outside Rude’s dressing room. She’s dressed like a slutty masquerade mermaid. She adds nothing as usual before taking it over to Jim Ross and “the man she’s voting for president” Jesse Ventura. Jesse is dressed like a ghoul and there IS Hat Guy in the front row alongside our good friend, Vladimir. There’s a joke about JR scaring him with his mask (he’s obviously not wearing one) and all of the items possible for Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal are shown backstage. Antivenom is discussed before this bevy of talking finally concludes.
-Badstreet USA plays for Michael Hayes, but he’s not with Jimmy Garvin. He’s got Arn Anderson and Bobby Eaton by his side. I’m glad they aren’t Freebirds. It is random as fuck. There’s a great, guttural positive reaction for both Arn and Bobby. Their wealth of tag knowledge is put over by JR. What sounds like a bootleg version of “Legs” by ZZ Top plays for Z-Man, Johnny Gunn and Shane Douglas. Zenk is booed and the other two get indifferent reaction. Let’s go, Philly! Shane’s frilly jacket is BAD BAD BAD> Gunn (the future Salvatore Sincere) looks like a Z-Man impersonator.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: Arn Anderson, Bobby Eaton and Michael Hayes vs Shane Douglas, Johnny Gunn and the Z-Man
-Anderson versus Gunn to start and Arn pinches his cheeks in the corner and hammers him with blows to big cheers. Gunn looks as green as goose shit. All three heels quickly take dropkicks to the floor. Zenk’s is the only one that looked any good.
-Now it’s Zenk vs Eaton and that means more cheers for all of the “heel’s” punches. Jesse points out the crowd’s reactions. JBL really was the modern day Jesse Ventura.
-Ross talks about Hayes focusing on commentary and strategy as of late, so he’s not as crisp as usual. That’s a nice way to say he looks like shit in this match.
-Douglas gets booed locking in an arm hold. Is Pittsburgh specifically hated in Philly?
-Eaton is an early MVP as always bumping like crazy for Shane’s leg whips, headscissors, etc.
-Jesse shits on Douglas looking like a right-wing Republican. Oooookay? He rebounds by talking about wrestling affecting people’s looks and uses Bruno as an example.
-Hayes hits an ugly ass neckbreaker as Z-Man takes the heat.
-Arn plays to the crowd after a big takedown and Jesse continues emphasizing the veteran’s positive reactions.
-Douglas receives the lukewarm tag and quickly gets cut off by Eaton with a chop block as the crowd roars. Ventura can’t get over this.
-Bobby hits a bombs away knee onto Shane’s leg and locks in the Figure Four to more cheers.
-Hey, the time limit is correct! Bill Watts made one good change! Heads collide and Gunn gets the hot tag against Hayes. He dishes out some slams before all six men enter the ring. The Dangerous Alliance get dumped and Z-Man superkicks Hayes.
-What a roar of boos!
WINNERS: Johnny Gunn, Z-Man and Shane Douglas in 11:04 when Gunn pins Michael Hayes with a Thesz Press
-Jesse ruins the Thesz Press on commentary by calling it a body hug. He is approaching rare LVP territory alongside Gunn and Hayes based on the execution of the move.
FINAL WORD: As a match, it wasn’t anything special. As a case study, it was riveting in the sense that it was one of the first times I’ve witness a crowd revolt against the typical heel/face dynamic.
-Missy Hyatt is still outside Rick Rude’s locker room before Harley Race walks up. He doesn’t let her in and she says it’s the first time she’s ever been denied into a locker room. Well, on her feet, at least. She sounds like the girl at the beginning of Baby Got Back. She’s the LVP actually.
-Bruno comments disapprovingly. He says some obvious stuff, but he’s still not as bad as Eric Bischoff.
-Brian Pillman’s music hit and he enters to a muted reaction. He has a very cocky disposition. He’s a heel now?!?! I’d love to see how that happened. Laughing and acting like shithead just fits him. His opponent is Ricky Steamboat and he gets the first true babyface reaction tonight. This SHOULD be great. Each match gets a graphic card with weights and hometowns. That’s a nice little touch.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: Brian Pillman vs Ricky Steamboat
-Good back-and-forth chops and action early.
-Steamboat blatantly plays possum and goads Brian into a rest hold after he was gloating to the crowd.
-Pillman jumps into Ricky’s arm drags. He doesn’t need any help with them.
-Some minor boring catcalls ring out, so Ricky turns it on with a series of moves leading to a cutoff and a “Brian sucks” chant. Jesse claims he can’t repeat it. Odd.
-Now, there’s a “Cincinatti sucks” chant with Hat Guy being very loud specifically. He’s not wrong. Can an audience member get MVP?
-As you’d expect, these two have good chemistry. Pillman flawlessly and effortlessly catches Dragon in mid-air with a dropkick.
-Ricky breaks a sleeper by running Brian’s head into the buckle twice like he did to Rick Rude at Beach Blast.
-No one can naturally get jacked up and emotional better than Ricky Steamboat to me. That said, he always gets cutoff in a silly way.
-Is Vladimir wearing a WBF tank top? He is! He’s another audience MVP candidate! Vladimir and Hat Guy get so into a brief brawl on the floor.
-Apparently, jumping off the top rope isn’t a DQ anymore. Steamboat hits a top rope sunset flip and counters follow until the three count happens.
WINNER: Ricky Steamboat in 10:34 with a sunset flip counter.
FINAL WORD: These two couldn’t have a bad match together if they had full blown COVID-19 at the same time.
-Teddy Long is an interviewer now and he’s with Masahiro Chono and his Japanese contingent. He starts to say Chono’s first name, but immediately stops. He introduces Kensuke Sasaki, Hiro Matsuda and NWA President Seiji Sakaguchi before they quietly discuss their choice for referee in the upcoming title match. They choose Sasaki and I hate that everyone in this era says his first name wrong. It messed me up saying Japanese names for the rest of my life.
-Schiavone interviews Bill Watts getting his mandatory screen time and he says Harley Race will be Rick Rude’s ref. He also announces that Steve Williams has selected Steve Austin as Gordy’s replacement. Bam Bam is indefinitely suspended for breach of contract and this is so much camera time for so much inconsequential housekeeping thanks to Bill Watts being Bill Watts. He claims there’s no black and white in WCW and that’s a legit LOL moment for me. Rude will have Big Van Vader serve as a surrogate to defend the US Title due to legal proceedings. Madusa will still be banned from ringside.
-This is happening now because Nikita Koloff enters. This match is also no DQ. Not Vader’s cool music plays because it’s Rick Rude’s dubbed not cool music. Holy no moustache, Rick Rude! That’s so alarming to look at. Vader and Harley walk out behind him and Ole Anderson comes out as well to tell GMC that Rude and Race are also banned from ringside. The heels complain before Rude gives Vader the US Title to hold. Politics and collusion AKA Jesse’s bread and butter are discussed.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: US TITLE NO DQ MATCH- Nikita Koloff vs Big Van Vader (Champion*)
-Vader hits one clubbing blow and Nikita answers back with a few shots that surprise Vader. He eventually backs Nikita into the corner with more shots.
-Jesse questions how Vader has a Rams Super Bowl ring as they hadn’t won the game yet in 1992 as Koloff is turned inside out on a clothesline.
-Nikita hits a weird cross body to Vader’s back and an even weirder roll up.
-Koloff is whipped into the rail hard and he sells the back huge. Then, he gets dropped onto the front of the rail and takes a chair to the back as Vader finally utilizes the no DQ rule. A fan throws a beer at Vader’s head eliciting a “oooooh” from the crowd as Jesse shits on the fan that threw it.
-Vader drops the bottom out on Koloff’s chest on a sunset flip attempt. Then, Nikita takes a chokeslam, but doesn’t want to back bump for it and gets his arm down. A second rope splash and Nikita surprisingly kicks out. Before he can hulk up, Vader locks in a chinlock.
-Jesse just coughed into his headset for the second time. Hit the mute button!
-Koloff tries a belly to back, but Vader sits down on it to block. It resembles a botch. Then, the babyface hits a suplex and Vader almost gets brained on it. Nikita’s intensity isn’t enough to spare him from LVP consideration. He hits some bad punches to the stomach to continue his rally.
-He impressively hits a slam and clothesline over the top as Vader careens into the barricade. The no DQ rule is rightfully pointed out.
-Nikita goes for the Sickle, but hits the steel post as Vader moves.
-A couple of quick power moves and then THE power move to finish this one.
WINNER: Big Van Vader in 11:54 to retain Rick Rude’s US Title with a powerbomb
-That’s a rare clean loss for Nikita and poetic as he goes out on his back in his final match ever to my knowledge.
FINAL WORD: That wasn’t pretty at times, but it didn’t really need to be.
-A Starrcade commercial plays and it’s BattleBowl again. We’re still running with that idea, huh?
-The commentators break down the tag title match and the problems that the babyface champs have been having before cutting to Teddy Long with both men legally named Steve Williams at this time. Doc actually cuts an okay promo for him while Austin says ten words. Then, Missy interviews the champs as Barry make funny faces to the camera. He puts over Austin and that’s about it.
-The Steves enter and Philly is a smart town, so both guys get better reactions than they usually do. The Unified tag champs enter as the commentators recap the title history as of late and the unknown chemistry of the challengers.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: UNIFIED TAG TITLES MATCH- Steve Williams and Steve Austin vs Barry Windham and Dustin Rhodes (Champs)
-Doc and Dustin start which gives Ventura time to crap on Oklahoma losing to Kansas over the weekend and JR no sells it just like he no sold Ventura’s comment about Randy “don’t call me Pee-Wee” Anderson. All they are missing in the ring is football stuff before Doc explodes with a clothesline and tackles.
-Dustin hits his own explosive clothesline before Barry tags in and clunkily chain wrestles Williams. Barry does hit an impressive dropkick.
-A “We Want Flair” chant? What year is it again?
-Austin tags in and throws a dropkick of his own. The clock is 40 seconds slow as Austin picks up the pace before getting beat up as usual.
-JR points out the lack of issues with the champs so far and Jesse mentions that he didn’t always see eye-to-eye with his partner, Adrian Adonis. I’m currently eye-to-eye with the carded LJN Adrian Adonis action figure I finally bought a couple of weeks ago. How about I try and work my LJN toy collection in as my reference challenge? I think I can do it!
-Dustin expected to be cut off in the corner, but it didn’t happen, so he awkwardly headbutts Austin’s chest. The crowd doesn’t kill them for it. Give it a few years.
-Williams rolls too much on a roll up and has to improvise his way out to continue putting the heat on Windham.
-Doc is leaps and bounds better here than he was at Great American Bash as he hits a nice cross body. Maybe Gordy was a bad influence?
-Barry tries to tag out, but he’s in the wrong corner. Long, grinding rest holds to Barry as we are halfway through the time limit.
-Windham hits a great top rope lariat, which means the Watts rule is definitely gone. Although, the NWA Tag Titles are technically involved here, so maybe that’s why? Ugh, it’s all so frustrating.
-Dustin finally tags in and he’s an absolute house of fire. He unleashes a super flurry of punches to get the crowd loud before hitting the bulldog on Austin. Doc makes the save and Barry accidentally distracts the ref before a clothesline grounds the Natural.
-Williams locks in a good Boston Crab. The crowd seems to be at least watching this, so it helps go a long way compared to their last encounter.
-Austin puts Dustin in an Argentinean backbreaker. It looks super awkward, but it works. Barry can’t even break it, so Dustin flips out using the ropes and still eats an Austin lariat.
-Dustin and Austin are both MVP caliber with their exchanges. There’s great babyface fire mixed with the heel cutoff complete with bragging to the crowd.
-Rhodes has a hardway cut above his eye and Williams seems to focus on it with a potato.
-Ventura needles Ross about going to the chiropractor and assumes it was for croquet.
-Dr. Death hits a series of suplexes as the crowd gets restless with five minutes left.
-Long segment of Austin getting kicked away by Dustin and the ref misses the tag to Barry. The action breaks down and the ref gets knocked down as Dustin is on the floor. Another ref runs out as Williams clotheslines Windham. There’s a three count, the bell rings, but the other ref waves it off.
-Austin gets rolled up, the bell rings again as if a three count happens, but Austin kicked out. WTF IS HAPPENING?!?!?! Ross is harping on the legal man while Jesse calls BS.
-Doc and Barry brawl as Austin and Dustin fight in the ring. One minute is announced as everybody is standing, but not in excitement. The time remaining appears on-screen as Dustin hits a Tombstone. Austin kicks out and the time expires.
WINNERS: Time Limit Draw in 30:26
FINAL WORD: Only Bill Watts could book a good 30-minute tag match with two false finishes that teases dissension amongst the babyface champs and the end result is STILL A TIME LIMIT DRAW!
-Tony interviews Vader, Harley Race and Paul E. Dangerously’s five-o-clock shadow. Paul claims credit for the US Title idea and gives them half the winner’s purse. Madusa interrupts and thanks everyone but Paul. He’s had it with her apparently and is extremely chauvinistic as Vader and Race slowly and hilariously walk out of the shot. Paul calls her “just a woman” and says she was just to take care of all of Rude’s needs. She only has the job because the “other hooker” had a previous obligation. HOLY SHIT. He fires her and this is an MVP worthy promo that only Heyman can give. He pushes her hard and the crowd gasps. She karate kicks him in the face to the pop of the night. Vader and Harley BAIL as she jumps all over him and about a dozen officials separate them. Even Jesse loves it. Paul screams something about “one hand behind his back” and calls her a bitch. HOT segment. The commentators break down the Dangerous Alliance and Rick Rude ramifications and put over Madusa’s background in Japan. Ventura says she’s still just a woman before making a stupid wheel impression because it’s time to spin.
-Sting enters without any real lighting. Are they not showing any of the vignettes leading up to this? Smart. Just watch this after you’re done reading. The wheel with the show logo and a skull emerges from the floor onstage along with some pyro. I will say they did a really good job with the look of the wheel. There’s a Conan lever, but you’ll have to add your own “JEEZUS” at home. Schiavone says it’s time and Sting pulls the lever. So…he doesn’t actually SPIN the wheel. Only WCW. It spins for eternity before landing on the Coal Miner’s Glove match. It gets no reaction at all. Was this wheel not rigged? Even worse: was the wheel rigged and this was the idea? Ventura explains the match and does his best to put it over. I won’t do the same: it’s a pole match centered around delivering one punch. In other words, it’s the worst possible option.
-GMC presents the dignitaries at ringside: NWA President Seiji Sakaguchi and Olympian Manabu Nakanishi (who gets called “Wakanishi”). Holy shit, it’s Kurasawa! How old is he? He just retired recently. Kensuke Sasaki enters in a classic ref’s shirt and looks hilarious to me. Harley Race enters in classic stripes. He’s always a sore subject to me because his Mattel figure eludes me, but his LJN sits on my mantle sans crown (and I have one more reference to go).
-Ole Anderson is in the ring and JR doesn’t know why. Rick Rude enters and he’s still with Madusa. Why?!?! It’s hopefully addressed. She’s wearing a skin-tight body suit that is supposed to look see-through. Why is his theme dubbed when I’ve heard it in previous clips? I think I just saw the Blue Meanie in the front row. That may just be because Rude calls the crowd “flabby, out of shape, inner-city sweathogs.” He disrobes and unveils some bright, yellow tights with a bunch of pictures as he swivels. The typical Japanese theme of the time leads Masahiro Chono to the ring wearing the Big Gold Belt. He slaps some hands while a “USA” chant starts. This is where Philly probably loses me. Ole is there for the coin toss to determine which ref will be in the ring. There’s too much of this nonsense that people don’t care about. GMC says the refs will be checked per Matsuda’s request. The heels naturally win the coin toss, so Race will be in the ring.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: NWA TITLE MATCH WITH HARLEY RACE AS GUEST REFEREE- Rick Rude w/Madusa vs Masahiro Chono w/Hiro Matsuda (Champion)
-“WE WANT FLAIR” chants as the belt is shown off and Rude jawjacks Chono. JR says that’s stupid because the champ speaks little to no English. Ventura claims all Minnesotans speak Japanese as a second language and that gets a chuckle out of me.
-Jesse points out Rude’s lack of ‘stache and Ross says Rude claims he wanted to be lighter. He actually gets a laugh out of Jesse.
-JR claims Rude and Madusa had people at Chono’s wedding and kid’s soccer game to scout. More crowd WOOOOOs and Flair chants as Chono hits a belly-to-back.
-Five minutes passed and Race has been a good ref so far. That’s all I have to discuss in this very boring contest so far.
-Jesse points out Chono’s technical prowess and Jim says this isn’t bodybuilding and posing like the other guys. Ventura mentions that Rude still does that. Rude powders and Madusa massages his back until Sasaki tells her to stop.
-Chono’s focus on the back continues with a Boston Crab and Camel Clutch as JR puts over the STF.
-Hat Guy and others are more concerned with something going on in the crowd as Rude blocks a sunset flip with a punch and some poses.
-Race drops Chono’s arm three times in a chinlock, but Chono just starts getting up as “boring” chants really start getting louder.
-Two guys in the front row get excited about Chono’s STF attempt. No one else cares.
-Rude hits a piledriver, but Masahiro gets his foot on the rope to break the count. The Ravishing One tries a top rope double axe and Chono takes a step back, but doesn’t block it. Rude gets pissed and locks the chinlock back on.
-Jesse has nothing to talk about in the ring, so he starts discussing his upcoming arm-wrestling competition.
-Another chinlock and everyone is standing up, cheering and locking at something else going on in the audience. Ross acknowledges it and Rude keeps the hold on. People are totally out of this and I am people.
-The champ kind of blocks a missile dropkick before stiffly kicking Race out of the ring on accident. Then, he throws Rude over the top rope onto the two referees. Rick gets back in and hits the Rude Awakening to the only pop of the match.
-Rude misses a top rope knee and the STF is hooked on. Rude taps and Sasaki jumps in to call for the bell. Race enters the ring as Chono’s arm is raised, but Harley says no. He gravelly tells GMC the decision. Goddamn it, Watts.
WINNER: Rick Rude by DQ in 22:34
-That good old thrown over the top rope rule! Race gets in Kensuke’s face and pushes him. He eats a slam and Kensuke destroys Rude and Race to a tremendous ovation! Why isn’t he working this?!?! He’s leaps above Chono in charism and energy. Chono gets booed raising the belt over his head as Sasaki looks funny with only his bowtie left on.
FINAL WORD: Allow me to quote Philly: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRING!”
-Another Starrcade commercial before the commentators recap the NWA Title match as Jesse says he doesn’t like Japanese nationalism in Philadelphia. To preview the WCW Title match, a clip of Cactus Jack hitting concrete blocks on the Barbarian’s back with a sledgehammer in training. Is that going to be the stupidest thing he does on this show?
-Some non-appropriate music plays for a man called The Barbarian. He’s accompanied by Cactus Jack in a leather vest and a Halloween Havoc shirt. Ron Simmons begins to walk out with like 20 dudes surrounding him. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? Why does he have so much security?!?! He’s also with Teddy Long again. JR says he enters to an ovation and he gets no reaction at all until he gets into the ring. Burt Reynolds and FSU chops are discussed as Ventura probably gets in trouble crapping on the Atlanta Braves losing the World Series again. This is the last sanctioned match of the evening as Ron’s posse leaves.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: WCW TITLE MATCH- The Barbarian w/Cactus Jack vs Ron Simmons (Champion)
-Ventura claims Long is going through Simmons’ wallet backstage as the competitors do nothing of not for the first two minutes but lock up, back up and bore. Barbarian finally shoulder blocks Ron down.
-Both men hit the ropes three times and bounce off one another and fire up/taunt. Then, they do it again with a clothesline. Simmons finally ducks and knocks Barb down with a clothesline, then hits a TERRIBLE dropkick and football tackle.
-Barbarian bails again and Jack gives him a pep talk about his power and wanting to play the game.
-Jack distracts the ref as Barbarian throws Ron into the post, then clothesline him against it and throws him into the rail. That’s definitely the Blue Meanie in the front row.
-The champ hits a one-armed sunset flip for two before the Barbarian locks in a pseudo-Cobra Clutch. It’s been the night of rest holds.
-JR calls the submission by its Japanese name and Jesse craps all over it. JR says he worked for the other guys and that’s why he doesn’t know the name of the move. This is a funny bit and Jesse may be back in the MVP hunt based on lack of options because of this.
-Barb misses his top rope elbow drop, but stays on the offense. Ron provides little selling to the heel’s punches, then gives a sloppy spinebuster, sloppy clotheslines and a tepid shoulder block. He may actually be the LVP. What is it about becoming WCW Champ that makes you suck?
-Ron hits Cactus and Barb nails his big boot as well as the top rope headbutt for a believable two count. JR sells it well.
-A clothesline follow-up and a truly abysmal kick out by Ron. He looks done.
-Well, he is. There was no fanfare there at all.
WINNER: Ron Simmons in 12:42 to retain the title with a powerslam
-The replay shows the powerslam and cover even stunk. Man, he might be a lock. I see why he didn’t work out.
FINAL WORD: That was just as boring and wretched as the NWA Title match, but it was half the time.
-Tony and Bruno have switched the spots they are standing in and recap the title match and the WCW’s youth movement. The first name out of Bruno’s mouth is Erik Watts, so I stop listening. Speak of the devil: Erik Watts is out to be interviewed! He received big boos and has confidence in delivery, but stumbles all over his words. Simmons comes into the picture out of breath and cuts his typical face promo while Sammartino gives him props. Bruno isn’t bad at this! The pole gets set up in the background.
-The commentators talk about the main event as the glove is shown close up. The match not being sanctioned is focused on and the glove looks like shit. The future theme of the Hollywood Blonds is the WCW theme for Jake Roberts. He looks a little beefier and talks trash on his way down the aisle. He’s more vocal and amped up than usual. He’s not stoic like I wish. There’s also no snake with him. Sting’s theme plays and I JUST noticed the two entrances. WCW was TNA and AEW before TNA was TNA and I won’t lump AEW in that group. How did it take me this long to notice? Anyway, Philly loves Sting.
MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: COAL MINER’S GLOVE MATCH- Jake Roberts vs Sting
-Sting plays to the crowd and Jake runs up the pole and gets stopped with two slams.
-Nothing says an ominous, unsanctioned match than lock-ups and a feeling out process. What a fucking joke.
-Sting misses a dropkick and Jake knees his back over and over again. He throws Sting over the top and it’s no DQ. Roberts then gets thrown into the post twice.
-Sting tries to climb the pike, but gets stopped by a belly-to-back as the heel smartly sells the shoulder.
-A hip toss over the top rope and Jake slowly climbs, but gets crotched and slowly back flips from the top to the mat. Funny sight.
-Ventura points out that the glove doesn’t need to be uses. I paused my match to point out to my wife that the glove is the MacGuffin. The Married with Movies fans will get it.
-Jake hits Sting in the back with a chair. I don’t want unnecessary violence, but more of that in this case would be nice.
-Roberts chokes Sting with wrist tape, then tries his knee light and I can’t tell if Sting blocked it or not. Everyone is just so off on this show. Stinger Splash is missed as a follow up.
-The short arm, the signal and the DDT hit with Jake’s other arm before he climbs the pole. Sting staggers to block, but Sting impressively swings by like a pirate stunt show.
-Cactus Jack runs out with a cobra in a bag. Jake puts his own glove on as Sting gets the coal miner’s glove. Jake tries to get the snake to bite him while taking an awkward punch in the kidney. I’ve seen less hokey student horror films.
WINNER: Sting in 10:35 with a coal miner’s glove punch during a cobra bite
FINAL WORD: What a shitty blowoff. The snake I need for my Jake Roberts LJN follows instructions better. Embarrassing.
-JR tries to cover by incredulously saying the snake has latched onto Jake as he writhes around as best as possible. Jack is scared and asks for help while pulling him to the back. He’s managed to draw blood at least. Like…why would the snake do that? Anyway, Sting won. There’s no fanfare there and he’s yelling about Jake needing medical help. What?!?!?!?
-Bruno and Tony recap and think this is only the beginning. Psyche! We will never see Jake Roberts on WCW TV again. JR and Jesse say more could be coming as well as well as the Barbarian deserving a rematch. They promote Starrcade and Ventura gets one more dig on the Braves as pyro goes off and the credits roll. Good riddance.
THE LAST IMAGE: A wide shot of the arena.
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: Jesse Ventura had moments, but plenty of bad habits. Some other guys showed good fire, but Paul E Dangerously did more to get the crowd invested with one promo and passion than anyone else. He is heel excellence.
FINAL LVP of PPV: Did becoming the man go to Ron Simmons’ head? He seemed totally different, like a complete rookie. Like Sting, he failed at carrying the ball and shat the bed.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Ricky Steamboat vs Brian Pillman
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Rick Rude vs Masahiro Chono
FINAL THOUGHTS: What a boring, bland, thesaurus for dull show. This was carried by a vocal crowd early, but the bad matches and booking and mishaps took them right out of it. The Watts experiment continues to fail. Nothing was even very good to save it like other shows. We are on an epically bad stretch here. MULLET DOESN’T RECOMMEND
NEXT TIME: 1992 has claimed so many comebacks and debuts, so it’s Mr. Perfect’s turn to replace Ultimate Warrior at Survivor Series 1992. I’m not getting excited about a year ever again.