Much later on in the history of this running diary, we are going to encounter something that will definitely skew my thoughts and opinions. I will beginning reviewing shows that I attended live. As I finally found a wrestling friend and was old enough to be trusted in the world by myself, I ventured out and finally experienced the thing I loved in person. Prior to 2002, I only attended two WWF house shows. The first was in 1990 and the only thing I remember is getting Bret Hart sunglasses bought for me. I insist we left before the main event to this day. The other was in 1995 at the new Gund Arena and my favorite wrestler, Shawn Michaels, was replaced by Savio Vega.
Today’s show, the 1992 Survivor Series, should have been right in the middle of that history.
Emanating from the Richfield Coliseum once again, hearing this show was in Ohio percolated in my five-year-old brain. “Ohio? I LIVE IN OHIO,” I kept thinking as I saw this epic show come together on paper. So many first times matches, the return of a superstar and the first big PPV match between the two aforementioned future wrestling legends (not Savio Vega).
I dropped hints to my mom and was met with the usual “we’ll see.” I knew that was no, so I leaned on Grandma. She wasn’t into the whole wrestling fan and my mom probably had her ear about not wanting to go, so that didn’t work. I even tried my sister who was only 19 at the time and living with her partner as they tried to make ends meet. I remember watching WWF Superstars as I ate the worst mac and cheese of my life in between playing Sega at their crappy apartment and took my shot.
“I think we can make that happen,” my sister said. I DID IT!
I didn’t do it.
I’m sure the show was sold out. It sure looks like it as I watch this event. Plus, nobody really wanted to sit through a three hour wrestling show at the time besides me. I happily watched the show in the comfort of my own home, eating better mac and cheese and snuggled up next to the heater.
As I watch this show, my daughter let me finish her mac and cheese and I’m bundled under a blanket during an unusually cool March day. It’s just this show’s destiny, I guess. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 55: WWF SURVIVOR SERIES 1992
Written on 3/8/2021
THE FIRST THING YOU SEE: There is no beating around the bush here as we are already live in the sorely missed Richfield Coliseum. The crowd is loud and full and the Survivor Series theme is blaring. Vince McMahon is growling and Bobby Heenan is thankfully joining him. Vince pimps a number of firsts on this show: a coffin match, a nightstick match and a Champion vs Champion match (which isn’t a first). Bret Hart got the big job and Shawn Michaels picked up the British Bulldog’s slack. Then, Mr. Perfect is a babyface and teaming with Randy Savage against Ric Flair and Razor Ramon. Go watch how all of that comes together because it’s amazing. They work miracles in a short period of time just because the Ultimate Warrior is a flake. There’s a loud “WEASEL” chant as Bobby is the MVP early as usual by emotionally propping up his team’s chances later on.
-The Rocket music! High Energy makes their way to the ring as Koko B Ware does the shittiest cartwheel on recorded TV. Owen Hart tries to be positive about Jim Neidhart butchering his future in the short term with this loser of a team. Speaking of which: why are the Headshrinkers the ones already in the ring? This is Samoan Swat Team version 1.0 by the way. Poor Tama.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: The Headshrinkers w/Afa vs High Energy
-Samu versus Owen to start as Afa gnaws on a random bird bone. Heenan calls the Shrinkers good looking fellows. He’s off to a strong start.
-Owen works at a great pace with some evasive moves, a cross body and some dropkicks. He tags Koko in and the energy leaves the room (pun intended).
-Koko stomps on the bare feet and tries a double noggin knocker to no effect. He hits the ropes and Afa SMACKS him with a cane shot to the back. This has some high energy early (pun still intended).
-Heenan catches himself about to call some teamwork “perfect” and Vince has been needling him wonderfully about it so far.
-Ware is an LVP candidate by not bumping very well for the good attacks of Fatu and Samu (clotheslines, superkicks, etc.)
-Samu misses a splash in the corner and hits his head on the post. Owen gets the hot tag and he’s flying all over the place. His offense is highlighted with a spin kick, but he eventually gets caught with a powerslam.
-Man, think of how fat he gets and this is the air and impact he gets NOW.
WINNERS: The Headshrinkers in 7:40 when Fatu pins Owen Hart with a top rope splash.
-Bobby does a “Brain Scan” after the match. It’s a telestrator gimmick where he draws a pilgrim hat on Fatu and a turkey around Hart.
FINAL WORD: Why in the hell did Owen have to take the fall there instead of Koko? Besides that bone headed idea, a short and solid opening match.
-Sean Mooney is in the locker room warning us to use viewer discretion before the nightstick match. Boy, you aren’t kidding. Nailz walks in slowly and his voice sounds like Dormammu smoking cigarettes during a Dr. Strange loop. I’ll take on a random MCU villain reference challenge today. He may be a shitty wrestler, but let’s not forget that he’s also a very bad promo. He talks about climbing out of jail and claiming his innocence before threatening to break both of Boss Man’s legs. His growling, squealing pitch is soooooo awkward. That’s an LVP worthy promo. I tried to find a video, but just look at the following picture and chew rocks with your testicles in a car door and you get the idea.
-Vince calls him a frightening man. He has no idea. Give it a couple of months. The only cute girl in Northeastern Ohio is shown wearing flannel before Mean Gene interviews the Big Boss Man backstage. Nailz walks out slowly like a horror movie character, snarling and barely breathing without music as Boss cuts him promo. He runs out because Nailz tried to climb up the pole and get the stick before the bell. How the hell did he see him do that? Boss stops and we are off.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: NIGHTSTICK MATCH- Nailz vs Big Boss Man
-After one Irish Whip, Nailz is already choking. Hey, wait a minute! He’s throwing punches, jabs even!
-Two rough sequences back-to-back. These two have the coordination of legless dog fucking.
-Vince Russo has to be so excited about this “on a pole” match. Boss is thrown off the top rope and Nailz actually follows up with a neckbreaker.
-The best looking thing in this match is Mike Chioda’s hair. Bobby drops a dated reference about smoke detectors in Windsor Castle to emphasize how dumb Boss Man is missing a running headbutt.
-Nailz can’t even crotch himself properly. Meanwhile, Boss Man just did the Undertaker sit-up.
-Their third sloppy interaction on a double clothesline double down has me checking my watch.
-Boss Man finally gets the nightstick and hits two bad shots to the heel’s arm and “head.” Nailz gets a shot to the throat and gets the stick himself with two shots. So anyone can use it? The crowd sadly loves this, by the way.
-Nailz takes a big swing, misses and Ray Traylor has had enough of this shit.
WINNER: The Big Boss Man in 5:43 with the Boss Man Slam
-Boss Man gets one good whack to the head after the bell and Nailz scampers away, dreaming of choking Vince in a few weeks. Vince puts over his toughness and indicates this might not be over as Boss Man celebrates.
FINAL WORD: They should reform prison around making people watch this match as punishment.
-Mean Gene interviews Ric Flair and Scott Hall in his PPV debut in terms of actually mattering AKA Razor Ramon. Gene mentions that Perfect knows more about the two of them than anyone before the Prime Time clip I mentioned early is shown. It’s going to be featured below, but I have to point out that it’s crazy that Hillbilly Jim still had a job in 1992 and Jim Duggan had any sort of analyst job. Heenan freaks out as Perfect accepts and eats a big slap. Bobby immediately apologizes like the weasel he is. His MVP case is strengthened by this clip alone. He’s in tears! Hennig is also great with his intensity here. Bobby begs and promises the world before getting water poured all over his head.
-Back to Flair angry and quietly intense like I’ve never seen before. He’s almost doing a Macho Man impression before ultimately losing his mind. God, how many underrated Ric Flair promos are there? He calls Razor “the almighty” before Bobby Lashley. Have we ever really discussed how culturally inappropriate Razor Ramon is? He tells “Gene Mean” to “callete” and talks about “esta noche.” As insensitive as this may be…he’s really good at it! Flair yells about survival and Razor does the toothpick throw to close this awesome segment.
-Rick Martel enters the ring dressed like Boat Captain Mike Rotunda complete with Tatanka’s feather in his cap. Heenan is blowing a gasket on commentary like only he can about the Perfect situation. Tatanka runs out to a much better reaction than WrestleMania. He’s undefeated. That’s probably because he’s only been wrestling Martel.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: Rick Martel vs Tatanka
-I prepared myself for an insensitive Heenan joke about Native Americans, but it wasn’t bad at all. It was just about his feathers.
-After a slap from Martel, Tatanka is a house of fire with chops, dropkicks and a backdrop. Bobby says the feather looks like it came from a pigeon.
-Hey! Don’t make a joke about the Cleveland Indians being unable to win, Bobby! We are turning it around soon!
-Hey! You probably should make that “ta-ta-ta-Tatanka” joke, Bobby! But I laughed, so screw it.
-Vince incorrectly calls Martel a former IC Champ before he hits a Stun Gun to cut the face off. His chest is red from the beating earlier. I can see Tatanka’s whole handprint!
-This is the second straight show with a commotion in the crowd during a headlock rest hold. Wait! It’s DOINK! Here we go, baby! The former Big Josh is in the aisle doing a balloon animal. His hands are crudely painted as he makes a dog and antagonizes the front row.
-More boring headlocks, more balloon animals and more Bobby bluntly calling Tatanka an Indian. He does analyze the psychology of continuing the rest hold as well as explaining away the choke part of it.
-Great arm drags by Tatanka. This one is being wrestled like it’s going Broadway. Tatanka is thrown over the top rope as Doink laughs.
-Rick is caught off the second rope and the camera was behind his feet like a POV shot before he leapt off. The camera work in general is so much better here than the Kevin Dunn zoom and shake show we suffer through now.
-Tatanka has a very good comeback sequence including a top rope chop before going to the finish. I can’t tell if Heenan gave it this name or if it’s legit.
WINNER: Tatanka in 11:06 with Papoose to Go
-Doink pops a balloon on some teen girls and gets a kick out of it as Tatanka celebrates his win.
FINAL WORD: That was drawn out, but harmless. Tatanka has real potential that he’ll never get the chance to reach.
-Mooney interviews Randy Savage and Mr. Perfect. I love that simple black and starry singlet Perfect has on. He cuts a great promo about being in the shadows, Flair being jealous and Razor stinking. Macho is basically just Spliff Star to Hennig’s Busta Rhymes here. He eventually speaks of survival and mentions not trusting or liking Perfect. Hennig is essentially Skurge in Thor: Ragnarok (one more to go). Despite their dislike, they think they can be the Perfect Team. Another awesome interview.
-Heenan is incredulous and overbearing as Ric Flair and Razor Ramon enter to Flair’s theme and loud boos. Flair is holding his chest at some point and I’m scared that this is the first of several heart attacks. Pomp and Circumstance for the Macho Man alone to a great ovation. He gets on the interview stage and introduces Mr. Perfect himself. Bobby yells at him in such an incredible, guttural way. God, he’s the MVP MVP MVP. Perfect as a face is just beautiful. Heenan calls him every negative adjective in the book and Vince just lets him go. It’s glorious.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: Ric Flair and Razor Ramon vs Randy Savage and Mr. Perfect
-The former AWA tag champs start. Verne Gagne is eating pudding and watching at home. The toothpick throw is answered with a spit and Hennig makes Razor look stupid a couple of times. His feet don’t seem to be with him. Hall definitely doesn’t want to look out of place amongst three GOATs.
-Great chop by Perfect to Flair in the corner and Ric tags in, livid. He takes some stiff shots and begs off right away. He’s the best. He’s bumping for Hennig like a beast.
-Savage tags in and the faces stay in control.
-Flair gets woozy on some slaps and cheap shots. Heenan breathlessly yells “look at that!” I’m grinning from ear to ear. Flair is also approaching MVP territory.
-Randy hits some great sit-out clotheslines before finally getting isolated due to Ramon’s power.
-McMahon is not as good of a foil as Gorilla, but he plays his part well here. He points out Heenan’s inadequacies and missteps well as Savage suffers in an abdominal stretch in the heel corner.
-Randy is always taking big falls over the top rope. He also gets thrown into the steel steps before Razor struggles to apply a single leg Boston Crab.
-Curt gets frustrated and starts walking out to boos. Heenan is beside himself as Savage is now busted open slightly. Perfect eventually walks back to his corner. That was an odd spot.
-Macho keeps taking punishment including a chokeslam, but does get some hope roll-ups on both men. Hennig gets angry on the apron again.
-Flair climbs to the top and get CAUGHT. All time record: 11 for 26. It looked awkward because Savage was thinking suplex, but Flair wanted the usual press slam.
-Hot tag to Perfect and he dishes Razor so crisply and hard. It’s a good beating and Ramon is bumping like a madman. Flair comes in and gets some, too.
-On the floor, Flair hits Macho Man in the head with an UNPROTECTED CHAIR SHOT. It wasn’t that hard, but it still counts to my all-time list.
-The ref gets bumped by Perfect and another one runs out as Razor tries to apply the Edge. Perfect kicks his way out in the corner and hits the PerfectPlex. Flair breaks up the count at two.
-Flair gets hit with the PerfectPlex and the original ref counts, but Razor breaks it up. The heels double team Hennig and both refs call for the bell. Flair applies the Figure Four while Macho slowly recoups.
-Savage stops a Razor chair attack and makes him trip over the submission hold. Perfect hits both in the back with chairs before they hightail it. Heenan is apoplectic as the winners are finally announced.
WINNERS: Randy Savage and Mr. Perfect by DQ at 16:28
-The faces celebrate, but Perfect still has the chair. Macho talks to him, he puts it down and they engage in a double high-five to a big pop.
FINAL WORD: Wonderful story, execution and performance all around. Drinks on me, fellas.
-Mean Gene is with Flair and Ramon and Ric tells him to shut up right away. He’s intense as usual, but he loses his train of thought and Razor chimes in. He says he’s been betrayed once before, but you can’t find that guy anymore. Is he referencing the justified homicide he committed back in the 80s?!?! More anger from both men before they ultimately leave.
-It’s Yokozuna PPV debut time! Mr. Fuji leads him out in the traditional outfit as geisha girls await him in the ring. Vince calls him a great athlete, but not perfect and Heenan responds with “you want to see Thanksgiving?” Funny and a rare threat! The crowd groans and gasps at Yoko’s size when he takes his robe off. This is a long ceremony including bowing and rice throwing. Vince claims he’s in for a test, but then Poetic Devastation plays. Virgil runs out and the crowd has finally given up for the most part because they know what this will be. Vince says something about shucking and jiving unfortunately.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: Yokozuna w/Mr. Fuji vs Virgil
-Yoko comes out and throws Virgil in the air and he can barely make it look impressive because he’s Virgil.
-Two dropkicks, a leapfrog and it’s all for naught because he runs into a thrust kick to the chest that makes the crowd react again.
-ROCK BOTTOM WITH AUTHORITY as the gasps continue. The crowd knows this guy is the real deal. Vince is opening telling Virgil to get up.
-Roundhouse punches to try and knock the big man down, but he gets caught with a sidewalk slam. Then, the BIG leg drop. Yoko is having a MVP caliber squash.
-Virgil tries a school boy, but Yoko sits down on his stomach and chest. That’s a legit ouch.
-Back splash in the corner. The crowd buzzes, but Virgil is too far way. Yoko makes it. No more silly little comebacks here.
WINNER: Yokozuna in 3:45 with the Banzai Drop
-Another Brain Scan as Heenan draws a drumstick around Yoko’s leg drop and emphasizes the noise of it. Then, the slo-mo of the Banzai Drop shows he got ALL of it. Virgil deserved it.
FINAL WORD: That was equal to Vader’s introductory squash at Great American Bash 1990 in terms of effectiveness with the crowd despite Virgil’s best efforts to look good.
-Mooney interviews Savage and Perfect, happily celebrating. Hennig has two turkeys as a gift for the losers and a little Cornish hen for Heenan. Why does he have three raw birds hanging out in the locker room? He smacks the hen out of the shot like his gum before they call each other the best and leave.
-Heenan lividly spews word vomit again as he has locked this MVP fucking up. He’s bragging about his IQ, but can’t come up with basic words. He’s not human. The Beverly Brothers and the Genius enter followed by Money Inc. as tag champs once again. I just realized that this is the sole Survivor Series elimination match on the show and it’s a tiny, tag team one. IRS fucking cuts a one sentence promo about surviving by paying taxes. The Natural Disasters enter all smiles again. It’s even more jarring now that they aren’t champs. Their partners are the newly face Nasty Boys who get a great reaction. There have been a lot of recent turns to the good side. Just look at who the fucking babyfaces are here!
MATCH NUMBER SIX: SURVIVOR SERIES ELIMINATION MATCH- The Beverly Brothers and Money Inc. w/The Genius and Jimmy Hart vs The Natural Disasters and The Nasty Boys
-Typhoon and Blake start. You know, to get the people really hot.
-Typhoon struts to mock Blake for no reason. Then, he hits the backbreaker into Quake bearhug combo until Beau makes the save.
-Double compactor by both Disasters on both Brothers in the corner. It’s still sad to see Quake slowed down. Speaking of sad, Brian Knobbs is a face. The nerve of them.
-Sags, however, fits for me with his cool pumphandle move. The Beverlys are getting their ass kicked and Money Inc. finally tags in almost five minutes deep.
-Man, I hate IRS. Not in an MJF way, either. In a Hitler way. He hits a shitty leg drop and that’s enough to put him on my LVP radar. His slow, awkward bumps on hip tosses make him a legit threat to Nailz.
-Mike Enos looks like a solid hand. As soon as I write that, they botch their patented leapfrog rope spot on Sags.
-Vince wonders if the Nasty Boys will be making the UK tour in February. I honestly don’t know if they do or not because their time is almost up here.
-Heenan complains about the rules and cheating as Sgt. Slaughter is supposed to be helping Jack Tunney reinforce them now.
-Lukewarm tag to Earthquake and he takes everyone out. All eight men enter the ring and Beau gets isolated. THE BEVERLY BROTHERS are the 1st team eliminated at 9:25 when Quake hits Beau with the Earthquake Splash.
-Ted DiBiase gets his ass beat with multiple tags by the faces until Quake makes a mistake and Inc. hits a double belly-to-back suplex. It was a rough landing for a man his size.
-“IRWIN” chants never get old and they don’t stop. It’s really the only heat in the match.
-Bobby makes a tongue-in-cheek reference to Lloyd’s of London about Perfect. Those policies were more popular during this time than pills.
-After a long beat down, Quake finally blocks a DiBiase attack and tags Typhoon. He hits IRS with a clothesline and almost makes his suspenders come totally down.
-Typhoon is tripped against the ropes by Ted. THE NATURAL DISASTERS are the 2nd team eliminated at 15:55 when IRS pins Typhoon with an elbow drop. That came from out of nowhere.
-Speaking of out of nowhere, MONEY INC. are the 3rd team eliminated after Sags rolls up IRS immediately after the previous fall.
WINNERS: The Nasty Boys survive in 16:04
FINAL WORD: That was not my favorite Survivor Series elimination match. It was barely my favorite on this show and it’s the only one.
-Tatanka, Mr. Perfect and Macho Man are shown talking on the hotline. Man, what a time. Nowadays, you just tweet your favorite wrestlers negative shit. Vince and Bobby are shown for the first time since the start of the show and Brain starts to call Hennig something offensive before stopping short.
-Kamala attacking Undertaker at SummerSlam is recapped. Then, Paul Bearer pushes a coffin out on Superstars that freaks Kamala the fuck out. He LEAPS over the top rope. Two weeks later, it happens again and Kamala bolts through the crowd. He is amazing at putting Taker over. Then, we get the famous clips of the coffin being built in an old school shed. Bearer is the right amount of over the top holding fucking blueprints with Kamala drawn on them. We get a QT coffin camera to close this out.
-Harvey Wippleman stares the Fink down before taking over the announcement of Kamala. He looks like you fused M’Baku during the challenge and W’Kabi supporting Killmonger due to size and face paint (and the challenge is done). A fan in the front row is rocking some cool Paul Bearer cosplay and makes Vince laugh.
-GONG and it’s nuts that Taker has only been around two years. He gets the pop of the night. He’s so fucking over. Paul pushes the coffin on wheels and Kamala’s body symbols are painted on the box. Taker makes his usual slow walk down the aisle. The inside of the coffin looks very comfy! Kamala’s eyes bug out and he tries to bolt again. He will be a MVP as long as the bell doesn’t ring. Kim Chee yells instructions as the giant pats his belly. A group of Undertaker lookalikes are shown in the crowd as Heenan says a group of women in the crowd look like Paul Bearer. LOL.
MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: COFFIN MATCH- Kamala w/Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee vs The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer
-The bell rings and Kamala bails. Taker slowly pursues and eventually gets chopped, but obviously no sells.
-Old School, clotheslines and chokes as Kamala is getting destroyed.
-Taker gets clotheslined over the top and immediately grabs both heel managers by the throat. This is the exact same match as SummerSlam. Taker gets thrown hard into the steps. Yep, rinse and repeat.
-Kamala hits Taker hard in the back with a chair. Thank God it wasn’t in the head.
-Taker is slammed twice and immediately sits up. He stays down on the third, then takes three splashes without pins. Paul Bearer gets on the apron, but Kim Chee trips him and the urn flies into the ring. Kamala is petrified of it and won’t touch it.
-Taker uses it, though. Why? He’s the babyface! He looked beat. Oh well, the arms are crossed and the bell rings.
-Wait, he has to pin him AND put him in the coffin to win? The bell rang! Paul and Taker have bigger nails than the earlier jailbird. The lid is placed and Mean Mark gets to hammering the wood box shut. The crowd is not cheering nor should they really. Finally, the gong goes off as the nails are done and Fink announces the winner.
WINNER: The Undertaker at 5:28 after an urn shot to the head
FINAL WORD: Yeah, that’s not a good start to that match type. Well, I guess it’s the only “coffin” match, so they learned their lesson and just made it a casket match because of this.
-Mooney interviews the new IC Champ, Shawn Michaels, without Sensational Sherri. She’s out after getting accidentally hit by a Marty Jannetty mirror shot. Shawn is blowing gum bubbles and acting cocky as Bret is already called the greatest scientific wrestler ever already. HBK cuts a boilerplate heel promo, but you can see the pieces coming together.
-Sherri’s version of Sexy Boy plays as HBK enters and a lot of girls shriek. He’s getting some serious mileage out of that gum.
-Mean Gene interviews Bret Hart and he is all smiles. He’s practically giddy! What a belt mark. Gene recaps his victory over Ric Flair and his impressive record of title defenses in a short period of time, winning all of them with the Sharpshooter. Gene should have kept talking because Bret starts and it’s not equal to his previous surprising efforts. He messes up at one point, but the material is boring anyway. He does his taunt to end it and it doesn’t work without a crowd looking at him.
-HBK is doing his taunt in the ring before another rare attractive Cleveland resident is shown looking on. Bret’s theme plays and more girls yell. What woman wants Bret Hart?!?! This is an ideal match as the men get good wrestling and the ladies get some eye candy. They are learning into the scientific angle with Bret hard. Bobby complains and just responds “FLAIR!”
MATCH NUMBER EIGHT: WWF TITLE MATCH- Shawn Michaels vs Bret Hart (Champion)
-Bret kisses the belt and Shawn blows kisses onto it and shines it up. One minute in, we finally get started after the typical ceremony of a kid getting glasses.
-Earl Hebner squeezes in between them in the corner during a scrum like a baby exiting the birth canal. A lot of chippy holds and grappling early. It’s like five years later, but not real.
-Shawn yanks the hair and Heenan says that’s just 65 pounds of oil.
-Lots of holds by Bret and “No” by Shawn early.
-Earl slides too far on a pin attempt and has to use his opposite hand to make the count. It looked super awkward.
-Vince claims that both men use ICOPRO and excuse me while I chortle for hours.
-Heenan asks Vince if he has a wake-up call because they could be here awhile as an arm hold is locked back on after a mini-sequence. McMahon puts over Bret’s journey to the title before Michaels finally Stun Guns Bret to get the advantage.
-Hart’s shoulder hits the ring post and the heel starts his own arm attack. He hits Bret’s head and Bobby says, “don’t do that, he’s a Hart!” Bret does his stupid chest bump in the corner and Bobby telegraphs the kick out by yelling about a new champ.
-People feel a little restless in another rest hold, this time with Shawn on offense. The crowd is looking and walking around.
-Hitman sells everything so damn realistically. He takes a dropkick to the face and he seems to really be in pain.
-I was not expecting this to be so ground based and lacking action.
-As soon as I say that, it’s as if Bret knew because he hits a bulldog and misses a second rope elbow to keep Shawn in the lead.
-The first great Shawn Michaels bump of the match happens on a belly-to-back. He bounces onto his stomach.
-The second great Shawn Michaels bump follows on a slingshot into the post. Okay, let’s keep this up.
-Bret nips up like Shawn! HBK backs away and gets kicked and crotched in the corner. He is shaken off, then takes an enormous back body drop. Maybe they know what they’re doing, huh?
-The champ gets a series of two counts as he launches into his usual sequence. Bobby is right on the money by pointing out he’s not going for the Sharpshooter yet.
-Superplex puts both men down and Bret takes too long to cover as Michaels still kicks out. Earl gets bumped in the corner on a sleeper, but he doesn’t really bump. That’s weird. Bret gets thrown to the floor as the ref just holds his belly.
-Bret goes back first into the post and then gets slammed on the mats on the floor. Fuck you, Bill Watts.
-Heenan smells it in the air as the back is now the focus by Shawn. He complains to Hebner and almost loses to a roll-up. The crowd gasps at the transitional Sweet Chin Music, but there’s no pin.
-Shawn calls for the teardrop suplex, Bret avoid at first, but hits it and Hart still kicks out. Shawn sells his finish being kicked out of hugely, then takes a forearm and gets tied into the ropes. He moves before Bret tries a cross body and gets bungeed in the ropes hard.
-The former Rocker comes off the second rope, but gets caught in the middle of the ring like WrestleMania XII. This time, though, he gives it up.
WINNER: Bret Hart in 26:40 to retain the title with the Sharpshooter
FINAL WORD: Another good Bret Hart match that feels overrated to me. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t like Sting’s first PPV title defense, but it’s still not the caliber higher I’d expect.
-Never mind that shit, Santa Claus is running down the aisle! WHAT? Bret lets him in and Heenan razzes him in wonderful fashion. Snow falls. Ohio doesn’t need any more of that. Bret Hart in a Santa hat is 50% more personality for him. Santa might be Beau Bridges? Bobby says he’s been good and asks for presents.
-Vince signs off with a “HO HO HO” and Bobby follows up with “WOOOOOOO…you can HO, I can WOO.”
THE LAST IMAGE: Bret Hart and Santa Claus
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: It’s just not fair at this point to anyone else in the WWF, but Bobby Heenan is somehow now underrated to me while still being the greatest color commentator of all time. This show should be right up there with Royal Rumble 1992 and Survivor Series next year.
FINAL LVP of PPV: IRS had heat and that’s the only thing that saved him. I need to sit down and watch the match in Japan from 1993 of the only two back-to-back winners of this award in-ring: Nailz and El Gigante.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Randy Savage and Mr. Perfect vs Razor Ramon and Ric Flair
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Big Boss Man vs Nailz
FINAL THOUGHTS: I don’t know why, but I dug that more than most people probably would. Maybe it’s the thought of being there as a kid and thinking of how much fun it would be. The main two matches are the only notable ones, but everything else established new stories or characters and the crowd dug it. The good gimmicks from this era stood out and it featured a GOAT commentary performance. It’s not going to blow socks off, but MULLET RECOMMENDS
NEXT TIME: 1992 concludes with the second Lethal Lottery and Battlebowl at Starrcade AKA Bill Watts’ last stand. I did not want to go to this show as a kid.