Now that we’ve reached the point in the timeline where I have active memories, these opening will probably be an amalgamation of a few things. On top of tying in the themes and historical significance of the shows to my current life and the world, I want to leave little nuggets of tiny, shitty kid Mullet in here as well. Starrcade 1992 is definitely one to tell because it’s an odd show for many reasons.
Sure, it’s the last PPV hurrah of the Bill Watts era. It’s the last gimmick Starrcade after several attempts to make their biggest show of the year something it shouldn’t be. As a kid, however, I loved the Lethal Lottery. I filled out my scorecard in my WCW Magazine when the matches were announced and followed along with the show as only a five-year-old could. Like always, my mom recorded it on VHS so I could consume it over and over again. This particular tape was yellow. They made all kinds like green and blue and red and they were in our curio cabinet pretty heavily at this time.
Also at this time, my mother would set up recordings of movies on HBO and specials from the Disney Channel that I particularly liked. One that I could not get enough of was “Who’s in Charge Here?” It was a showcase for ventriloquist Ronn Lucas and he had all kinds of kooky characters, most famously Buffalo Billy. Think Jeff Dunham before Jeff Dunham, but I contend actually funny. (Funny side story- Ronn Lucas was a performer on a cruise my family went on in 2014 and I legitimately got emotional during the show because it reminded me of my grandmother when I realized who it was. So, raise your hand if you’ve cried during a ventriloquist show before!)
When my mom noticed it was coming up in the TV Guide (and she still get TV Guide to this day), she grabbed the closest tape and set it to record for me. What she grabbed was that aforementioned yellow tape. Except she didn’t check to see if I had been watching it recently.
She naturally tape over the whole show except the first four matches. The special was only one hour, so I get the last 45 minutes or so as well. My entire childhood had this one show incomplete to me, so there’s a chunk that’s a massive blind spot and it’s basically the stuff I didn’t mind miss as a kid: the non Battlebowl stuff. As an adult, that’s the stuff I want.
Who will be in charge of my entertainment when I watch the whole thing now?
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 56- WCW STARRCADE 1992
Written on 3/9/2021
THE FIRST THING YOU SEE: The Starrcade logo and the Battlebowl accompanies it with a voiceover telling us it’s the 10th anniversary of Starrcade. The past theme of the show are displayed to remind us of the better times. We have five title matches tonight including the WCW Champ vs the US Champ. Copying from WWF, I see? This intro works because it shows clips of recent events for that contest as well as the tag title match, the random King of Cable tournament and Sting trying to repeat as Battlebowl champion. The intro is also very BUSY and the voiceover guy puts in work. We go ringside in the Omni with Jim Ross and Jesse Ventura complete with Malcolm X hat. It’s Jesse’s first Starrcade and there is some bad reverb in these mics. There’s big news on the WCW Title match and Eric Bischoff updates us in a WCW Magazine Special report. Rick Rude has a herniated disc and will be out for 5-7 weeks. Steve Williams will be his replacement tonight. Card Subject to Change, folks! The commentators discuss as the crowd doesn’t react. They couldn’t update that opening video in enough time?
-The wrestlers are shown in barely full locker rooms for the Lethal Lottery. There are only four matches this year and one name was automatically included. In the ring, Tony Schiavone is joined by Bill Watts and Hank Aaron. AWKWARD AS FUCK. Watts passes the Battlebowl idea off on Dusty Rhodes and claims WCW will give the previous winner a ring like the Super Bowl every year. Sting enters to get his ring and Aaron is excited. Sting says Hank has 715, but tonight Sting is going for two. Yeah, not the correct analogy. Watts gets an LVP nod with his “hook em up” horseshit.
-Larry Zbyszko is with Missy Hyatt at the big drum. She’s not excited to be doing it with him (that’s a first time phrase for her) as he puts his arm around her. Larry looks like Kurt Angle and Chad Gable’s dad put together. Damn, the strobe and lighting effects suck before the introductions for the first match begin. This was apparently drawn in advance at the Clash of the Champions.
-Van Hammer enters and everyone is forced to enter to the Battlebowl music. His partner is Danny Spivey to no pop because he never sticks around long enough to warrant one. He has longer hair and has a little extra dough to him. Their opponents are Cactus Jack and Johnny B. Badd. Badd resembles Beverly D’Angelo wearing her Wayneiac outfit in Vegas Vacation (ugh, that’s going to be the reference challenge, isn’t it?) This looks really dingy with the lighting.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: LETHAL LOTTERY MATCH- Van Hammer and Danny Spivey vs Cactus Jack and Johnny B. Badd
-Jack and Hammer start because Mick Foley is the only guy able to get anything out of Hammer. Van apparently won Jesse’s Strongest Arm contest. Jack cheats with his feet on the ropes, chest pokes twice and takes two slaps.
-I just noticed this is a match with two former MVPs (Spivey and Cactus) and two former LVPs (Hammer and Badd). I will say that Hammer looks much better here. Badd PLANTS him with a Frankensteiner. Jack and Badd tagging well so far.
-The heels trade punches and clotheslines well. JR reiterates that Battlebowl will only have eight guys.
-Spivey knees Badd from behind and Van gets upset with him for cheating. Dan follows up with a good Boss Man Slam. He’s impressive again. Here’s your early MVP.
-Jack gets the tag after a mid-ring collision and he’s getting good face reactions by beating Danny up. Is this a prelude of things to come?
-Jack tries to tag, but Badd is still hurt on the floor. He gets beat up until Johnny tries to make the save and elbow drops Cactus.
-One push, one right hook and one losing streak keeps rolling on.
WINNERS: Van Hammer and Danny Spivey at 6:37 when Hammer pins Cactus Jack with a roll-up
FINAL WORD: That was shorter, yet better, than almost of the previous year’s Lotto matches. Plus, the dumbest thing Mick Foley did was merely agreeing to job to Van Hammer!
-Tony, Larry and Missy spin the drum and announce Dustin Rhodes. His partner will be VADER. There’s a nice, deep roar in the heel locker room. They will be taking on Kensuke Sasaki and The Barbarian. I see Tex Slazenger, Shanghai Pierce, Paul Orndorff and Tony Atlas in the heel room. What has been happening?!?! Harley Race has a sweet tuxedo on. The Barbarian has some dumb extra shit on his face and head. Sasaki’s cheeks should be pinched. JR points out Vader and Dustin met in the semifinals of the King of Cable.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: LETHAL LOTTERY MATCH- Dustin Rhodes and Big Van Vader vs Kensuke Sasaki and The Barbarian
-The crowd hoots and hollers in support of Vader against the Barbarian. They shake hands and exchange lock-ups and stiff clotheslines they each no sell.
-Barb slams Vader effortlessly and Vader gives one, too. Finally, Barb is put down with a body block mid-ring before eating some clubs in the corner.
-A sloppy exchange leads to some awkward shots by Barb. Dustin finally tags in with some good teamwork on a high angle Hart Attack clothesline.
-Kensuke tags in and JR points out Dustin’s broken wrist courtesy of Barry Windham. So that’s finally taken place. The faces have a good back and forth before Vader hits a second rope body block that makes the crowd go crazy.
-Jesse has been calling this right down the middle without jokes. Overall, I’m very satisfied right now.
-Sasaki’s lip got busted, but he’s still throwing bombs and even suplexes Vader. Double tag out and Rhodes displays his usual energy.
-Chops back and forth before Barbarian misses an attack. We are two for two on endings so far.
WINNERS: Dustin Rhodes and Vader in 6:57 when Rhodes pins the Barbarian with a roll-up
FINAL WORD: That’s about as great of a seven minute wildcard tag match you can ask for.
-Vader is happy and gives Dustin a pep talk after the bell before KILLING HIM with a clothesline. Race drops a knee for good measure. That shot was so stiff, it might make Vader an MVP out of fear. Or maybe Dustin should qualify for taking it. There’s no replay sadly. I can’t find a GIF either.
-JR previews SuperBrawl III and analyzes Vader’s attack before going to the third drawing. I just noticed Missy’s weird suspenders. The first name announced is Barry Windham. His partner will be the Great Muta in the face locker room. They will take on Too Cold Scorpio (OH BABY) and Brian Pillman (OHHHH BABY). The challengers for the tag titles later are on opposite sides. Why is there so much cross over with participants when so many guys like Flamingo, Bagwell and Zenk are available and sitting there doing nothing? The wrestlers enter out of order, but Muta gets the last entrance and gets a great pop. Scorpio looks ahead of his time by 10 years just in presence. That makes Muta 50 years ahead.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: LETHAL LOTTERY MATCH- Barry Windham and The Great Muta vs Too Cold Scorpio and Brian Pillman
-Scorpio and Windham start with a plethora of arm drags and hip tosses. Muta tags in. Give me this! Muta attempts a roundhouse kick and the crowd chants his name. Sadly, they exchange one headlock before Brian tags in. But now we have these two against each other. There’s no losing combo!
-Jesse puts over Muta’s smoothness and his headlock takeover proves it.
-Barry and Brian actually lock up and chop the shit out of each other. They stop, grin and the crowd digs it. Everyone came to play tonight.
-Muta hits an awesome spinning kick right on the button to pop the crowd again.
-Scorpio is a little green like his tights with his movements.
-Barry may have the best traditional suplex in the game to go with his great superplex. He hits a nice double dropkick with Muta before the Great one hits an MVP caliber power drive elbow.
-Scorpio hits an innovative corner spin out leg drop, then a cool slingshot splash that knees Muta in the dick.
-All four men in the ring and Windham hits a BIG impaler DDT (maybe the first of its kind) before Muta closes it out with a glancing, but impressive, blow.
WINNERS: Great Muta and Barry Windham in 6:59 when Muta pins Too Cold Scorpio with a moonsault
-Barry immediately grabs Pillman and pulls him to the back as Scorpio recovers and Muta leaves confused.
FINAL WORD: These things are meticulously timed to a fault, but they are still providing solid action.
-Larry announces Dr. Death or “one of the last real men” as Sting’s partner for the last lottery match. The other team is Erik Watts, who gets mild boos, and Jushin Thunder Liger, who carried the equally green Bill Kazmaier last year. There are two entrance curtains again as Williams comes out of one and Sting comes out of the other. Watts runs out and nobody rightfully cares. Liger gets a decent reaction as he’s been missed.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: LETHAL LOTTERY MATCH- Sting and Steve Williams vs Erik Watts and Jushin Thunder Liger
-Liger and Sting start and the crowd realizes this is dope and gets crazy loud before they lock up. There’s a good series of counters and evasions before a stand-off. In the ECW Arena, there would be a standing ovation.
-Ross points out that Liger and Doc wrestle for rival Japanese promotions, so this is a rare sight. Watts tag in and almost brains Steve on the first takedown. Well, that’s an easy LVP. I mean, duh! Doc stiffs him to a good pop.
-Watts can’t even hit the ropes well!!! He’s scared of them!!!!!!!!
-It’s the night of deadly clotheslines as Doc decapitates Liger with one out of the corner and it’s rightfully sold like murder.
-Sting does Doc’s Oklahoma Stampede on Liger and it’s weird seeing Liger take the heat and makes Sting work heel in a way.
-Stinger Splash missed, but a quick tag to Dr. Death for more damage to Jushin with a single leg crab and chokes on the ropes.
-Doc is trying to kill this poor man with a backdrop driver. He must think that’s Misawa under that hood.
-Watts finally tags in and he throws bad everything. HOLY SHIT HIS DROPKICKS ARE THE FUCKING WORST EVER. LVP LVP LVP LVP LVP LVP LVP LVP LVP
-Watts tries to get the STF on Doc, but he gets to the ropes. Soon after, everyone is put out of their misery.
WINNERS: Steve Williams and Sting in 9:09 when Williams pins Erik Watts with a Stun Gun
FINAL WORD: God bless the other three men in this match for putting up with that absolute nonsense and still making this watchable. What’s the word for living up to the hype, but the hype is negative?
-The commentators recap the eight men in Battlebowl along with graphic cards. Ventura claims Sting winning again is almost impossible like back-to-back NCAA championships. Tell that to the UF Basketball Team in a few years, baby! It’s time for the NWA Title match and Larry breaks down the match as clips from a New Japan match between Chono and Muto (not Muta) is shown. The challenger having already wrestled is discusses as Zbyszko puts over Chono’s mat experience. Muta comes back out and bows to the crowd in respect. One of those funny sign fans is seen holding up one asking Muta to spray mist at a drawn-on target. Masahiro Chono walks out to little reaction accompanied by the other Asian song Ted Turner has the right for.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: NWA TITLE MATCH- Great Muta vs Masahiro Chono (Champ)
-Rude’s injury is discussed and Jesse puts over how sad it is as the Big Gold Belt is shown with a crisp nameplate.
-Typical slow pace by Chono and Muta takes a powder after a takedown.
-I can’t help but see Chono as a nerd here. I’m used to badass biker look Chono.
-Muta counters an ab stretch into an armbar and the crowd is firmly behind him.
-Some cat and mouse in and out of the ring. You know, I don’t think Chono is for the modern US wrestling fan’s sensibilities. Or mine for that matter.
-Masahiro goes up top and get caught with a superplex. Muta is the only thing people care about here.
-Jesse calls the Boston Crab the Hiroshima Crab and asks Jim what he thinks. He even looks to him for a reaction and rightfully gets none.
-Even Muta’s submissions are better. He locks on an Indian Deathlock with a bridge and crossface.
-I have to give Chono LVP consideration. I mean, he’s miles away from Erik Watts. He could belch and pass out for 15 minutes like Cousin Eddie at the blackjack table and not surpass him (and we have one more to go!) But it stands to be noted that he has lackluster charisma and bumps.
-Handspring elbow to pop the crowd and Muta tries a moonsault and lands on his feet when Chono avoid. He jams his knees and the champ takes advantage.
-Inside cradle gets a nearfall for Muta and Chono snap Germans him on the back of his head. Another good two count for Muta on a belly to back counter. The crowd and Jesse disagree.
-One missed dropkick and the crowd chants for Muta, but it’s to no avail.
WINNER: Masahiro Chono in 14:33 with a STF to retain the title.
-Chono smartly plays to the boos by showing off the title. The replay shows that John Cena’s STF ain’t shit.
FINAL WORD: You know what Georgia will want? Mat based Japanese wrestling! I kid; Muta tried, but it was still fairly boring.
-The commentators discuss a tournament starting on Saturday night for the number one contender to the US Title. Rick Rude will be stripped if he can’t defend it by the time the winner’s match is supposed to take place in January. Rude comes out and takes the mic. His acid wash jacket is so 1992. He blames his surgeon for his predicament and complains about the threats of stripping his title as the crowd cheers this. He rightfully complains about Sting’s situation with Vader and he’s pissed the best way before walking off. Ventura makes another good point about the 30 day defense window. This is treated with the right twinge of reality.
-It’s WCW Title time as Steve Williams enter in his cool boxing-like rob. JR has his collegiate stats tattooed on his ass. In this case, it’s warranted because his Orange Bowl appearances were against FSU and Ron Simmons! How about that? No more Doom music…it’s time for “Don’ Step to Ron!” This song is somehow more inappropriate. Public Enemy would be rolling in their graves if they were dead. He gets a better reaction than Halloween Havoc and his FSU gear and haircut are a good combo. His tomahawk taunt works because of the Braves as Jesse still bitches for Rude.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: WCW TITLE MATCH- Steve Williams vs Ron Simmons (Champion)
-Doc wants a handshake. It’s debated, but given and broken clean to applause.
-Long standing headlock before it’s old timey football showdown time Both men do cadences, three-point stances and collisions. Ron leapfrogs Doc and hits a big clothesline. The crowd really enjoyed that exchange.
-Williams pulls the hair and the champ is surprised. Why? Because you shook hands?
-More cheating tactics and now the hands are thrown. Simmons is still in control with a stiff elbow in the corner and we go back to holds after a sloppy slam.
-Steve sidesteps a top rope shoulder tackle and starts to focus on the leg with kicks, crabs and locks.
-I know times are different, but this era had a LOT of time eating with these stretches of rest. Ron keeps taking odd looking back bumps on little shin kicks. He’s done it three times.
-An uncoordinated encounter causes Doc to deadlift Ron for a backbreaker. He made it work, but he shouldn’t have been in that position.
-Williams plays to the crowd. He feels it and takes Ron off of his feet with two three-point stances. He eats a messy clothesline on the third as Simmons charges up with cadences, blatantly no-selling the leg now.
-Spinebuster and more three-point stances before a miss send Ron to the floor. Williams hits a unique dropkick from the apron before a brawl breaks out. Ron clotheslines the post as Steve slowly tries to get into the ring when the bell rings.
-The brawl continues as the crowd is taken out of this by the double countout announcement. Doc goes into the post and Ron celebrates. He gets blindsided by Dr. Death, who drives his knee into the head and back from the top rope. Referee Nick Patrick gets angry and reverses the decision.
WINNER: Ron Simmons by DQ in 15:16
-Jesse says “for what?!?!” Ross says for the top rope move. UGHHHHHHH.
FINAL WORD: I didn’t like that match BEFORE the convoluted ending. It was just like the last match, but without the Great Muta. So it was worse.
-A SuperBrawl III commercial plays with quick cuts of action in between “subliminal” messages of the date and time. Not cool. Tony and Larry preview the Unified Tag Title match as clips of Barry attacking the new champs celebrating in the locker room play as well as a brawl on WCW Saturday Night. Schiavone mentions the challengers fighting each other early in the night and Zbyszko calls Shane the possible weak link. The heels enter oddly holding hands in the air. They come out to the wrong song at first, but it changes to Windham’s decent Slam Jam theme. That CD is definitely in full rotation now as the champs enter to Ricky Steamboat’s AWFUL song. GMC claims this match has a “TV time remaining limit,” but there’s still two matches left. Shane Douglas looks so out of place with all of his tassels and shit.
MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: UNIFIED TAG TITLE MATCH- Barry Windham and Brian Pillman vs Ricky Steamboat and Shane Douglas (Champs)
-Douglas and Pillman start and Jesse is still harping on Shane being a Republican and claims Rush Limbaugh is his hero. JR says he like Rush. Don’t RIP, Rush.
-Quick back and forth with Pillman trying chops and Shane hitting punches.
-Shane looks like he thinks before he does anything. Brian powders and Barry takes a long double team from the faces before finally rolling out on a double backdrop.
-Barry vs Ricky now and a slugfest develops before Steamboat gets the advantage with chops and a suplex.
-Ricky slams Windham on the floor and JR points out there’s ice underneath the particleboard because of a local hockey team. Barry tries to leave and Shane slams him on the ramp. He’s taking a MVP beating so far.
-Windham hits a jawbreaker on Shane before finally tagging Pillman in as the face starts taking the heat.
-Shane dropkicks Brian off the apron and he falls chin first on the railing. He’s slow to get up, Shane goes to the top, but Brian gets back in and dropkicks him to the floor in a big spill. Barry clotheslines him for good measure.
-That floor is FILTHY. Douglas takes the typical heat building beatdown.
-Windham throws Douglas to the floor hard and his foot viciously slams into the railing. The ref is distracted, so Steamboat runs over and hits Windham in the back with a chair. Ventura classically gets all over his case. The tag matches are bringing the heat tonight. Great hot tag tease before Brian cuts it off with a belly to back.
-Barry picks Douglas up by the front of his trunks. I thought he was going to pants him for some reason.
-Steamboat is a very dumb partner. He’s distracted the referee like three or four times and it gets Douglas destroyed every time.
-HOT tag to Steamboat and he scoops up both heels with slams. He gets cut off soon after with a dope Barry powerslam and belly-to-back.
-The ref misses the throw over the top rope and throw into the post. That’s two missed DQs. Ricky rebounds with a climb up the ropes chop from the apron.
-Steamboat keeps pointing at Windham to piss him off and the heel responds with an FU motion as the crowd gets behind the Dragon as usual. It’s a great sequence between two greats complete with a superkick and a bulldog.
-Douglas gets the hot tag and gets his time to shine on offense. Pillman almost takes a header on a backdrop. Ricky cross bodies Barry over the top rope.
-Shane’s is basically Bayley’s, but it’s still effective.
WINNERS: Shane Douglas and Ricky Steamboat in 20:02 to retain the titles when Douglas pins Brian Pillman with a belly-to-belly suplex.
-Jesse gives Magnum TA a shout out in the replay.
FINAL WORD: Even with young, babyface Shane Douglas, that was a fantastic tag team match.
-JR and Jesse discuss the King of Cable finals and show Vader’s attack on Sting and Sting’s response of breaking a 2X4 over Vader’s back. The name of the tournament is about the ropes being cables. That’s absurd. There’s a trophy in the ring with GMC and we get a simple graphic for it. Vader’s ominous music plays and why the fuck is he wearing a do-rag? That’s like the Ultimate Warrior wearing a baseball cap. Okay, it’s not that bad because Vader is cool no matter what.
-Why is Sting not coming out to “Man Called Sting” already? I mean, I love both songs, but it’s the most endearing thing on Slam Jam. Vader holds up the trophy and that’s a curse.
MATCH NUMBER EIGHT: KING OF CABLE FINALS- Big Van Vader w/Harley Race vs Sting
-Vader taunts and yells at Sting like a boss. His aura is unparalleled. Sting jabs and punches and Vader just shakes his head and says “NO PAIN.” He’s in the MVP lead again.
-Two slams and Sting runs at him out of nowhere and gets met with the body splash. Then, Vader impressively press slams Sting and spear throws him into a Stun Gun! He does that shit twice!
-Sting finally gets Vader off his feet twice with a forward roll kick and a dropkick. Vader bumps amazingly for a German and a clothesline over the top that knocks his mask off. These two have the best chemistry.
-Sting hits a plancha onto Race and Vader. Poor Harley sells while Vader gets up and says “NO PAIN” again. We are just five minutes in!
-Sting hits a fucking arm drag on Vader! He goes for the Stinger Splash, but eats a BIG boot to the face. Sting responds with two of his own and a DDT.
-DDT/superplex from the top by Sting on Vader!!!! Can we get anymore DAM amazing spots? This is one DAM good match! This DAM Vegas Vacation challenge is over.
-The Scorpion is locked on, but Vader gets to the ropes. He bails and avoid another Stinger Splash that makes Sting crash into the rail. Vader has a bloody mouth and Sting gets back in the ring right before the countout.
-I overheard somebody over a headset saying “he’s knocking the paint off of him!” That was weird. Vader hits a splash and hooks Sting’s leg too hard and lets the shoulders come off the mat. He sells his mistake very well and lets out an audible “shit.”
-Great nearfall on a backslide by Sting and we go right back to clubbing blows.
-Sting is so beaten up that he hits a belly-to-back, but Vader recovers first and pins him for two.
-The rope a dope tactic is possibly used and analyzed by the commentary team. Vader goes for a superplex, but gets punched down in a big bump as Sting slinks down in exhaustion. They have another match after this!
-Vader’s punches get weaker and Sting encourages him and starts no selling the shots. He throws his own punches and knocks the big man down. He deadlifts Vader and Samoan drops him! A top rope splash only gets two.
-Race on the apron and kids shriek as Vader blindsides Sting with a chokeslam. He hits a second rope splash and bounces off, unable to cover. He goes to the top this time and gets caught.
WINNER: Sting in 17:18 with a catching powerslam
-Sting is absolutely tanked and can barely hold his arms up in celebration. The replay is shown as the crowd is amped. Jesse comes into the ring to present the trophy and gives Sting props and a handshake. Sting says he got his butt kicked, but has one more victory to go.
FINAL WORD: JR said it best: “what a wrestling match!”
-Zbyszko and Schiavone recap the last match before pivoting to Battlebowl. Larry makes a bad point about women and money leaving you, but a championship ring staying with you. Well, depends on the lawyer and debt collector. Tony makes a point about some guy with a ring from the first Super Bowl. It’s Paul Hornung and I know that because we get a fucking pre-recorded interview with him. Man, I was giving props to the sports-like realistic feel to this, but this is too much lol. This former Green Bay Packer can actually talk well enough and treats this seriously. I shat on it, but it’s harmless.
-GMC announces Battlebowl as the competitors enter. Muta has repainted his face. GMC recites all of their hometowns and the crowd doesn’t really react to anybody because this is the third time they’ve seen these guys OR they are Van Hammer and Danny Spivey. Sting enters last and looks like hell! Vader jumps him on the ramp and they brawl as the match begins with no bell.
MATCH NUMBER NINE: BATTLEBOWL BATTLE ROYAL
-Dustin and Barry are paired off and Vader leaps over the top onto Sting as he throws him in.
-I’ll never understand why we get multiple split screens when the wide shot shows everything that we need. It doesn’t stay for a long time, at least.
-Dustin hits a good lariat on Barry as Spivey gets stuck with Hammer.
-Vader looks exhausted throwing clotheslines and having to take Hammer’s punches.
-Muta saves Sting a couple of times and they hug. Jesse rightfully calls that out as stupid.
-WCW just can’t do battle royals. Sure, it’s not two rings this time, but it’s still slow and plodding and lacking coordination. A suplex and clothesline at the same time almost creates a nasty mid-ring pile up.
-Barry and Dustin go onto the ramp through the ropes and Dustin bulldogs his former partner. Meanwhile, VAN HAMMER is the 1st man eliminated at 5:49 unceremoniously by Steve Williams.
-DANNY SPIVEY is the 2nd man eliminated at 6:26 by Sting and there’s confusion because he landed on the ramp. It’s finally determined that he’s out. The two men with the most rest are out first.
-Vader gets a running start and BIG VAN VADER and STING are the 3rd and 4th men eliminated at 7:44 by a double cross body onto the ramp. The crowd is upset, but that’s probably for the best because Sting would be ungodly at this point winning here.
-Down to four and Muta is spin kicking Doc like crazy. Barry has a bloody nose and screaming bloody murder as Dustin gets in his face. More excellent MVP selling.
-Windham snaps a DDT out of nowhere as a Muta chant starts up.
-Dustin throws Barry back in from the top as Jesse craps on that before hitting a DDT of his own.
-STEVE WILLIAMS and DUSTIN RHODES are the 5th and 6th men eliminated at 11:15 when Doc charges Barry attempting to eliminate Dustin and knocks Dustin and himself out. The Muta chants intensify as the ref pointlessly gets in the ring for the final two.
-Barry hits a great rollover suplex on Muta and tries to throw him out, but Muta holds on. Great effort is met with great resilency.
-BIG superplex by Windham. Both guys are still doing damn good work and on that MVP level. How the fuck is Barry Windham still throwing great dropkicks this late into his night?
-Muta skins the cat and hits two of his own dropkicks. The second one does the job and gets an amazing pop.
WINNER: The Great Muta in 13:55
-The replay shows great contact on the dropkick and another great Windham sell going over the top rope.
FINAL WORD: Great is the right word for Muta. He’s still super over in his third match of the night as a Japanese star in GEORGIA? That ended up being a totally fine Battlebowl.
-JR and Jesse talk about Muta’s win possibly being an upset and break down the NWA Title match from earlier as well as Rick Rude’s situation. The sign guy from earlier is behind them in the front row trying to draw attention to himself. Ventura defends Rude again as JR wishes us a Happy Holidays and smiles for the last time on WCW PPV to my knowledge before we roll credits.
THE LAST IMAGE: Jim Ross and Jesse Ventura
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: We have a few good candidates here. The Great Muta’s match with Chono hurts him and Vader’s gas tank ran out in the main event, so I’m finally giving this to Barry Windham. He wrestled the most on the show and didn’t hold back at any point. He worked his ass off, made guys look great and owned his character.
FINAL LVP of PPV: Not since Heath Ledger as the Joker has there been such a landslide victory as Erik Watts. If you think I’m using hyperbole, scroll back up and look at that dropkick GIF again.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Sting vs Big Van Vader
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Ron Simmons vs Steve Williams
FINAL THOUGHTS: Just as they started 1992, WCW has figured it out a little bit too late. You can see the maximum effort from all parties, the crowd was very happy and the overall feel of the show was Bill Watts wrestling at its absolute rare best. This show left me wondering if the changes that were about to come were warranted. They definitely were, but it doesn’t mean that we have this sole PPV gem from this era. MULLET RECOMMENDS
NEXT TIME: 1993 is here and it’s the Royal Rumble. I would seek one of those childhood emancipations if my mother taped over that show.
