There’s probably nobody on planet Earth that’s more excited to watch the first installment of In Your House in the year 2021 than me.
Perhaps the biggest issue with this project is the time commitment that it takes. I’ve covered the transcription process previously, but it’s obvious that these shows are almost three hours every week. Sometimes, I have to pause or, god forbid, go to the bathroom. These take time. Any way to speed this along works for me.
The In Your House era is my respite.
Introduced to compete with the new WCW PPV schedule, In Your House is a fond memory of anybody from my generation. In retrospect, I don’t think that a lot of these shows aged well.
It means nothing to me right now because I’ll be saving time on this pet project and that hopefully means that I can complete this on a better pace. In fact, I watched next week’s PPV very soon afterwards because I had the time. It energized me.
Was that energy because of momentum or to get a negative taste out of my mouth?
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 85: WWF IN YOUR HOUSE 1
Written on 10/8/21
THE FIRST THING YOU SEE: A title card and a house! Todd Pettengill does a voiceover about the big man main event. There’s weird music accompanying this. Sid laughs at Diesel’s words. Each match is highlighted, even the King of the Ring qualifying match with Adam Bomb getting some words in. Finally, Bret Hart’s double header is mentioned and Hakushi symbolically sentons Kwang. Oh yeah and they are giving a big ass house away! IN ORLANDO NO LESS!!! I wonder where. The very 90s In Your House theme sounds like Men on a Mission’s Oscar rapping it. We go live in Syracuse with Vince McMahon welcoming us alongside DOK HENDRIX. Just when I was excited for a shorter show, I have to deal with Michael Hayes for two hours. It’s Mother’s Day and I feel bad for the ladies already. Dok is the first LVP for being over the top.
-Speaking of over the top, Shinja and his face paint lead Hakushi to the ring with his cool ass entrance. Also cool: the In Your House set. A clip of his attack on Bret on Superstars is shown and it looks like he botched his moonsault off the stage. This took place prior to Mania. Todd interviews Bret backstage and makes up a “We Want Bret” chant. Bret puts over Hakushi’s undefeated streak and dedicates his match to Helen Hart. His theme starts as he keeps talking and he continues to knock the promo out of the park. He’s the first MVP and enters to a big pop. There’s a big container of submissions for the house giveaway by the entrance as well. They are really trying to get “the Modern-Day Kamikaze” over for Hakushi.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: Hakushi w/Shinja vs Bret Hart
-The building is noticeably smaller for the PPV and it gives it a unique look. Dok is settling in nicely with some history and analysis. I was just being hard on him before. He’s still the LVP. He claims to know what Hakushi’s tattoos say. Okay, maybe he’s okay.
-A good back-and-forth as you’d expect to start. Hakushi does get lost a couple of times, but Bret is such a pro that he fixes it quickly.
-Hakushi takes over with a hard whip into the buckle and a Vader Bomb. Jerry Lawler is shown looking on happily backstage.
-Shinja gets some boots in and distracts the ref for Hakushi to choke, then he is the choker himself.
-The handspring elbow is the thing of beauty as is a top rope praying headbutt.
-A springboard splash misses and Hart starts his usual sequence with two counts each time. The Sharpshooter is thwarted by another Shinja distraction, but he stays on offense with a great clothesline that turns Hakushi inside out.
-Another manager trip, but Hart has enough and dives onto him. This leads to a great suplex over the top rope to the floor by both men. The camera randomly shows the commentators and Dok looks confused about it.
-Shinja is beat up again and Hakushi hits a gorgeous Asai moonsault. All of their legs look gross when they land. The Hitman barely gets back in the ring before the 10 count.
-Great series of reversals. One of these men is a legend at them.
WINNER: Bret Hart at 14:41 with a victory roll
-Pyro goes off after the win and Bret celebrates. He leaves the ring and twists his knee, limping away.
FINAL WORD: What a great opener. The last five minutes were especially state of the art.
-Pettengill is standing at the Superstar Live hotline table with Stan Lane and Alundra Blayze talking about how much they look alike. Lawler wants his match now, but leaves under the guise of a fake beeper when Pettengill tells him that Bret is on his way. Stephanie Wiand comes out of the house and is immediately the LVP just by being so corny and cheesy. She calls commentary on an armored truck bringing envelopes in and talks about locations. Jeff Jarrett’s music thankfully cuts her off. Vince sounds thankful, too.
-Jarrett and the Roadie walk out while the 123 Kid talks to Vince over the phone. He’s barely able to piece together a coherent sentence in anger about not being there due to injury. He’s probably getting blown by Jenna Jameson at the time and it’s not as good as Chyna. I guess Kayfabe Commentaries YouShoot series is our reference challenge. Razor Ramon cuts a promo about this being the first up-front handicap match he’s ever had before giving his Mother’s Day thoughts as well. He enters like a badass. Man, Howard Finkel is so good. This won’t stick, but I’m going to mention MVP in his honor right now anyway.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: HANDICAP MATCH- Jeff Jarrett and the Roadie vs Razor Ramon
-Jarrett starts and Razor is stupid by getting distracted by Roadie already. He’s non-plussed because he gives three killer right hands early.
-Some annoying fans in the second row keep making “oooooh” noises on punches and bumps. One of the dudes looks like Cousin Sal. Razor is blindsided again and takes an enziguri.
-Roadie finally tags in and delivers simple offense that impresses Hendrix. There are lots of empty seats on the hard cam. Is this a WCW 1991 show?
-Razor and Jeff are working their asses off! Quick up and downs on sequences continue their solid chemistry.
-Why does Razor always go for the Edge near the ropes? He gets backdropped over the tope and Roadie hits a second rope clothesline to the floor. He barely gets in before ten.
-Heads collide for a double down and you can see Ramon has “Kid” written on some tape on his boot. Dok makes fun of it. These two love multiple double downs.
-Jarrett gets the tag and Roadie hits a flying knee for a believable two. Razor is taking an MVP beating.
-Razor comes alive and takes both men on and down. Jarrett recovers and goes for the leg. He goes for the Figure Four, but gets booted into his partner.
-He actually hits it and wins with it!!!
WINNER: Razor Ramon in 12:40 with the Razor’s Edge on Jeff Jarrett
-Roadie comes back in and gets set up for the Edge, but his knee is taken out again. The Figure Four is applied and Aldo Montoya runs out to help. He gets overwhelmed and thrown out. An unknown man comes in and takes care of the heels to a good pop. The officials make it seem real. I’m not sure if it’s unveiled on this show or not, but it’s Savio Vega. Police escort him out to an ovation.
FINAL WORD: That was very good in execution and it felt fresh because it was a first-time match type played the right way.
-A King of the Ring commercial plays like a Medieval Times skit. That’s fitting for that show’s reputation. Then, Jack Tunney is shown talking to Lawler. He’s still employed????? Then, Sid’s rampage is shown along with his new theme. He’s repped by Ted DiBiase now and OMG Sid almost killed Bam Bam Bigelow on a powerbomb. The moves are timed to the music and I have to give them credit for making Sid look scary and cool as fuck. I won’t give credit for how dangerous all of these moves look. It’s probably a good thing his interview where he thought he was live happened on the pre-show (I think).
-Barry Didinsky continues the dweeb train and shows off the new, all-over Bret Hart shirt that is one size fits all. Hey, if Mean Gene can have his hotline shit, then this guy can have his merch hawking. Never mind this shit, though, because newly heel Mabel enters with a dark, rap beat and Mo in all black. I can’t believe Danny Davis is still a ref. Adam Bomb enters to a surprisingly strong pop and a generic face song. Vince really tries to get “The Bomb Squad” over. Dok is off my LVP list with solid analysis. I can never get Michael Hayes’ ass.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: KING OF THE RING QUALIFIYING MATCH- Mabel w/Mo vs Adam Bomb
-Adam decks Mo before the bell and Mabel beats him up before the match starts. He hits one splash in the corner and misses the second.
-Bomb hits a good shoulder tackle and a dive to the floor! What the fuck is happening? There’s a nice slingshot clothesline and a top rope clothesline! Mabel kicking out of one each time really hurts this a lot.
-Mabel’s spin kick lands in the belly button region, landing him right on the LVP list. He catches a body press attempt and…that’s it?
WINNER: Mabel in 1:54 with The World’s Strongest Slam
FINAL WORD: I think I’ve just seen a show jump the shark in real time.
-Pettengill interview Razor Ramon and the introduction of Savio Vega. The former Kwang doesn’t cut a very good promo, but Razor sure does. He may pass Bret on the MVP list.
-The Smoking Gunns have already entered the ring. That’s almost a jobber entrance on a PPV. Lawler comes out to try and get his match started again. I have to say, it’s a pretty Bitchcake thing to be ignored on PPV like this. The new tag champs enter and it’s not important because Bret Hart is shown with ice on his knee in the locker room instead. Dok makes a good point about this being the first PPV where Owen walks in as a champ and Bret doesn’t.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: WWF TAG TITLE MATCH- The Smoking Gunns vs Owen Hart and Yokozuna w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette (Champs)
-“USA” chants as Yoko waves the Japanese flag to start the match. He starts with Billy and gets his arm worked on.
-Bart just beat Owen one-on-one on Raw?!?!? Nice double team on Owen before Billy just jaws at Fuji for no reason to get blindsided.
-Yoko’s nerve hold starts at the three-minute mark now. Poor Yoko and poor me.
-The big man misses a splash and hits the post on the floor. Hart misses a corner attack and Bart tags in with some house of fire offense. Bret’s corner chest bump is part of his brother’s repertoire and Dok calls Bart a stupid Texan for wasting time celebrating.
-Bart does the Dustin Rhodes spot flying out of the ring and eats a Yoko leg drop on the floor. Billy hits Cornette and doesn’t help his partner at all.
WINNER: Owen Hart and Yokozuna in 5:46 when Owen pins Bart Gunn after a Yokozuna leg drop on the floor
FINAL WORD: That was too fast, like purposely rushed.
-Todd interview a “pensive” Diesel whose head is with his mom whom he lost last Christmas. This is a subdued and different Kevin Nash and I dig it. How much wine has he had and is he going to help pick up ladies later on? (That’s one more reference in the challenge down) He does a Beatles reference at the end about Sid being “the Master” and I can’t believe I just decided Diesel is an MVP candidate.
-Jerry Lawler’s music plays and he’s in ring with his “mother” AKA some 20-something model. She gets mic time! I can’t determine where she’s from, but she’s an LVP with awful delivery making fun of Helen Hart. Bret is at “the Gorilla position” according to Vince. That’s wild. Todd talks to Bret and he reveals his leg injury was all a ruse. He does a little hop and comes out SHOWING PERSONALITY by fake limping and making faces. This leads him back to the MVP as Jerry’s face changes. This is all good stuff. A chase ensues at the bell
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: Jerry Lawler vs Bret Hart
-Punches and throws into the railing and steps keep Bret in control.
-Bret tries a backdrop, but gets piledriven instead. In a shocking moment, the Hitman no sells it like Hogan and goes right back on offense. He even hits his own piledriver.
-King’s “mom” is acts way over the top at ringside. I can’t believe I may have to look up this actress’ name for LVP.
-Jerry is pummeled and Shinja comes out. The ref ends up getting bumped and his foot is tied up in the ropes. This is a wicked spot for Earl Hebner. Hakushi hits a top rope something on Bret, then two top rope headbutts.
-The ref gets back in just in time for the most athletic thing I’ve ever seen Jerry Lawler do.
WINNER: Jerry Lawler in 5:03 with a flipping roll up
-Bret decks Hakushi after the bell and hits Jerry. Shinja takes a couple of shots and all of the heels leave. Hart is shown saying “fuck that was horrible” afterwards.
FINAL WORD: That wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t a Bret Hart classic.
-Close up, breathing, whispering Sid promo! I can see his fucking pores! I’m very uncomfortable. He really likes calling himself “the master and ruler of the world.”
-The commentators turn it over to Todd and Stephanie to give away the house. It’s located in Hunter’s Creek and I drove by this development YESTERDAY after a toy show I sold stuff at. Holy shit, what a world. This is technically Kissimmee, not Orlando. Wiand’s acting is so bad. They get rakes to dig and mix the entries before entering the vat and picking one. Some legal assholes come in and verify the entry. Pettengill gets on the phone live and gets the number wrong. The crowd grows restless and Todd’s mullet is remarkable. Some guy named Matt in Nevada wins. Some lady in the back of the call GOES FUCKING WILD. Good for them. Pyro goes off for this. I think they sold the damn thing very quickly. What a waste.
-The commentators preview the main event again and Dok has some nerve to talk about Sid’s defensive skills before the cool “Sycho” music interrupts. Sid walks out, looking intense. Shawn Michaels is mentioned as being out of action because of Sid. Diesel enters, confident and excited. Look at big ole babyface Nash with fireworks in the ring. Sid stands and stares at Vince on the floor, then yells about being called “psycho.” Boy…I can just tell this is going to suck.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: WWF TITLE MATCH- Sid w/Ted DiBiase vs Diesel (Champ)
-Diesel mocks Sid’s blinking and pushes him down before hitting big elbows and corner splashes to start.
-Sid gets beat up a bit until Ted provides the distraction and Diesel takes a knee to the back over the top. Apron attacks on the back that Henry Godwinn apparently injured recently and then a shot into the post. I don’t hate this yet!
-Sid’s strikes are always so shitty, especially the axe handles.
-Camel clutch is locked in. How did Sid get a bloody lip? Yelling?
-The hold is still applied. It’s temporarily broken up, but put back on. Vince says Ted and Sid were always in cahoots. I don’t remember that detail. Diesel wakes up and Sid misses a butt drop.
-Shitty chokeslam by the heel and he hits his powerbomb. He taunts like an ASSHOLE instead of making the cover and that gives Diesel time to kick out at two.
-The face is resilient, hits snake eyes and the big boot before nailing the Jackknife. Damn, Sid took that well! Tatanka runs in before the three.
WINNER: Diesel by DQ at 11:30
-A three-man beatdown sets up a second powerbomb before Bam Bam Bigelow makes the save. The fresh babyface rids the ring of the heels.
FINAL WORD: You know, it won’t win any awards, but I was surprised by how “okay” that was.
-Diesel celebrates after the official announcement and high fives Bigelow as the heels leave. Pyro goes off and Vince growls all the buzzwords and upcoming events. He calls the event “out of this world” as the lower third pops up and they sign off. BUT WAIT! We get an alien commercial??? The WWF claims to save the world? Why was this necessary?
THE LAST IMAGE: An animated UFO
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: I’m never going to be mad about two Bret Hart matches, but we also got some awesome character stuff that was a delight to watch. The Hitman’s roll is back.
FINAL LVP of PPV: Everything that I thought Todd Pettengill would be is actually what Stephanie Wiand is-grating, out of her league and obnoxious.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Bret Hart vs Hakushi
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Mabel vs Adam Bomb
FINAL THOUGHTS: I know that the length didn’t hurt, but that was a breath of fresh air. The second half left something to be desired, but it told a condensed story and moved things along. Even as a B-show, this show featured the stars of the time putting in good work. I’m happy. MULLET RECOMMENDS
NEXT TIME: Back to full length shows and back to WCW with the third annual Slamboree. I’ll be watching it in my house.