With the diary back up and running, I’m trying to barrel through the shows that I watched and took notes for years ago so I can be a little bit fresher and present in these entries. As I’m transcribing, I’m trying to update or change jokes. Don’t be surprised if there’s no references to Tiger King, Funko or Dr. Fauci in these for a little while.
Another big hurdle is rectifying thoughts then versus thoughts now. For the previous show, I really had a hard time remembering why some things were good and why some things were bad.
There will be no issue with this show and you are about to read why. It was a childhood favorite. That hasn’t always translated in the past. Let’s see how this goes.
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 23- NWA GREAT AMERICAN BASH 1989: GLORY DAYS
Written on 4/19/2020
THE FIRST THING YOU SEE: Horses and the harbor of Baltimore! A voiceover welcomes us to the Baltimore Arena and I remember this music vividly. It gets my psyched. We see 2 RINGS set up while Jim Ross intros the show with Bob Caudle. They start to preview the show then HOLY EDIT BATMAN. We get a still that says “Triple Crown King of the Hill Double Ring Battle Royal” which is a bigger mouthful than Missy Hyatt’s 1992. Then, a card that reads “Presented in Most Complete Form Possible due to Original Production Technical Difficulties.” This is shown during GMC’s intro.
-$15,000 is on the line in this tournament final and the finalist enter holding crowns. I misheard the total, it’s $50K! The entrants are: Kevin Sullivan, Mike Rotunda, Bill Irwin, Ron Simmons, Brian Pillman, Scott Hall, Ranger Ross, The Steiner Bros, Steve Williams, Eddie Gilbert and the Skyscrapers. The only things of note on these introductions: Ranger Ross actually wears his crown like a good and Scott Hall looks like a girl.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: Double Ring Battle Royal for $50,000
-How is Dr. Death a face now?!?!
-This looks like shit.
-I’m sooooooooooooooo happy to finally see some Scott Steiner. I’m soooooooooooooooo upset to finally see some Sid Vicious.
-Apparently, everyone had to win another battle royal to qualify for this. How the fuck did Bill Irwin and Ranger Ross do that?
-I missed Terry Gordy in the procession of entrants earlier. Ranger Ross is the first person thrown into ring 2 and that sure sounds about right.
-Ron Simmons is next out, What a racist ass match! Simmons responds with 2 clotheslines and RON SIMMONS is the 1st man eliminated by Ranger Ross. HUH?!?!
-Hall and Gordy are the next two dumped to ring 2 as the audio kills me. Irwin now in ring 2.
-More technical problems and the match skips ahead as Dan Spivey is destroying people in ring 2 and only 2 people are left in ring 1?!?!? It’s Sid and Pillman! Squeegee War I! Pillman does a 360 on a Sid clothesline and he’s the early MVP by making Sid look Vicious.
-Kevin Sullivan, Scott Hall, Terry Gordy and Scott Steiner are the oh fuck it, I can’t follow this. What I can follow: Sid Vicious wins ring 1 at 6:03 my time.
Spivey, Doc and Rotunda are the final three in ring 2. Doc does some football cadences and this crowd is PUMPED. Rotunda misses a clothesline and flies out.
-Williams looks like a sloppy Hogan with this gear. A sloppy Hogan is Brutus Beefcake’s favorite sex position.
-Rotunda trips Doc and Dan Spivey wins ring 2 at 8:20ish.
-It’s Skyscraper vs Skyscraper…until Teddy Long NOPES that! He won’t allow it and he says they will split the money. A VHS warp happens and everybody is gone. Fucking NWA production.
WINNERS: The Skyscrapers in 9:28
FINAL WORD: One of the Crocketts accidentally rewound the tape. Even without the technical issues, this was an unmitigated disaster.
-ANOTHER technical warning and I hear a loud Indiana Jones whip! What is going on? We cut to Gordon Solie with Teddy Long. Why is Gordon not on commentary? Teddy calls everyone out with some of the worst teeth I’ve ever seen and somehow even worse hair. He looks like a character Chappelle would mock.
-Brian Pillman runs out with a dubbed theme and a non-GMC intro. Oh, now I know what the whip was!
MATCH NUMBER TWO: Wild Bill Irwin vs Brian Pillman
-Irwin kicks Pillman during the intro and Pillman rebounds with a dropkick and headlock off the turnbuckle kinda like the Bo Dog. A nice baseball slide follows and Irwin is a good foil so far.
-MAN, this crowd is ugly. Sorry, Rich.
-JR says this will be the hottest video cassette across the country. Not with your fucking issues.
-Irwin hits an impressive sidewalk slam and standing suplex to take over. He’s also a good consistent trash talker. He keeps asking Brian to fly around while beating him up.
-Pillman gets folded up with a clothesline after starting to come up.
-Irwin yells “what” like Lil Jon.
-Pillman gets thrown onto GMC’s table before coming back with a pseudo Sling Blade and splash. Pillman continues to be the MVP so far.
-Pillman misses a missile dropkick and Irwin bounces off the ropes in a cool way before raking the eyes and putting the boots to him.
-Irwin chucks Pillman from the first to second rope like it was nothing.
-WOW, this is some distance…and fucking awesome.
WINNER: Brian Pillman in 10:03 after a top rope cross body from one ring to another.
FINAL WORD: That’s about as perfect as a 10 minute enhancement match can get.
-Solie is with Paul E Dangerously who claims to not care if he wins or loses the upcoming tuxedo match with Jim Cornette. He points out Cornette’s old knee injury from the Skywalkers scaffold match from 1986. Dated reference alert as Paul says he’s hired Rob lowe as a babysitter so you know he takes risks. YIKES. Needless to say, it appears as though Gordon Solie doesn’t like young Mr. Heyman.
-More music dubbing for the goddamn Dynamic Dudes who enter with their fucking frisbees. Johnny Ace grabs a fat kid and LEGIT STRUGGLES TO LIFT HIM OVER THE RAIL. In all my time doing these entries, I’ve never rewound anything and I rewound that. A bullshit frisbee toss happens and I want that Ghostbuster 2 shirt. This is the lamest moment of all time. They are still throwing frisbees. Johnny Ace is LVP early again as Jason Hervey from the Wonder Years and Eric Bischoff’s basement handles the intros and high fives the Dudes. Fucking fuck this.
-Here comes the Skyscrapers! They are billed from Metropolis and I buy it. Why is Sid wearing stirrups? Did Barry Windham leave them behind? A fan tries to touch Spivey who tries to deck him. What a difference between the two teams?
MATCH NUMBER THREE: The Dynamic Dudes vs The Skyscrapers w/Teddy Long
-JR craps on WWF by burying pets and bodybuilders while putting over the athleticism of SID VICIOUS AND DAN SPIVEY.
-Chants of Peanut Head towards Teddy Long make me giggle. The camera actually focuses on the top of his head and Long gets mad.
-Ace’s middle height dropkick is sold like a gnat flying around by Spivey.
-A double monkey flip and decent teamwork until Dan boots Shane. The crowd is digging the Scrapers.
-The Dudes hit a sloppy go around and crossbody/trip combo. The crowd is chanting “We Want Sid!” Welcome to 1989, dickheads!
-Sid gets the tag to huge cheers. His first double axe handle looks like complete shit.
-Spivey loves no selling Ace. I love it, too.
-Douglas gets side slammed by Spivey, who is doing a great job as the crowd chants for Sid again. Spivey hits a Razor’s Edge and I’m tempted to think he’s the MVP over Pillman now.
-Teddy Long throws some really shitty kicks on the floor and now he’s a possible LVP.
-Sid throws a crappy clothesline, then taunts to a GIANT pop. I don’t get it! This is his first PPV match! Already! This is one of the most mind boggling and material-filled matches I’ve ever had and it’s nowhere near done!
-Spivey tags in and gets booed. He delivers a perfect sidewalk slam and chants of Sid again! Spivey nails a murderous looking backbreaker…”WE WANT SID!!!!”
-God damn. Ace kicks and punches Sid on the apron twice and he doesn’t even flinch. Johnny almost falls twice afterwards.
-An awful double hip toss on Spivey and Sid is still selling like crap.
-Ace is a sandbagging son of a bitch. He is the LVP again for botching the ending which still gets a good heel pop.
WINNERS: The Skyscrapers in 9:27 when Dan Spivey pins Johnny Ace after a botched powerbomb.
FINAL WORD: That entire thing should be studied by the best anthropologists on the planet.
-Solie is with Jim Cornette who looks five years younger than the last time I saw him. It must be the awful yellow shirt and red bow tie. He manages to cut a good babyface promo.
-Evil organ music plays for Paul E Dangerously’s entrance and he’s wearing the most expensive tuxedo he’s ever owned or worn and that’s not an endorsement. The Midnight Express theme plays and Cornette gets an amazing ovation. The camera catches a sign that says “NWA #1 and WWF Stinks” and they blur out the WWF.
-I just realized I’m going to see one of these guys in their underwear.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: TUXEDO MATCH- Paul E Dangerously vs Jim Cornette
-I don’t think the ring bell exists.
-Cornette removes his own jacket and throws it in the crowd. Paul takes advantage and throws powder in his eyes.
-Paul attacks Cornette’s bad knee and screams a “feminine” scream according to JR. That is followed by an unfortunate gay joke about a “Bruce or Eric” from San Francisco teaching him that. Uggggh.
-I’ve never seen a cummerbund used as a choking device.
-You gotta love wrestling: it’s the Psycho Yuppie versus the Louisville Lip! JR is wonderful at shitting on Paul.
-Paul spits on Jim who tries to fight back. This is great “workers” but awful “working”.
-JR and Caudle need to sit current commentators down and teach them how to laugh, have fun, call the match and still tell the story well.
-Cornette Dairy Queens up and Paul tries a backflip on a punch sell.
-Heyman shirtless! Heyman shirtless! Heyman shirtless!
-They awkwardly run into each other and Paul goes for more powder but it gets kicked in his face and OH NO THE PANTS.
WINNER: Jim Cornette in 6:18
-Paul runs out hilariously in blue underwear and the crowd is eating this up. The replay shows Heyman running shirtless in slow motion. Oh, come on!
FINAL WORD: That had no right to be as good as it was. Kudos to two pros.
-Solie is with Gary Hart representing the Great Muta. It’s not fantastic, but it gets the job done.
-Varsity music brings out Mike Rotunda and Kevin Sullivan. Sullivan is billed from Boston again and Rotunda is now a Captain. I cannot wait for his ship to take off.
-Missy Hyatt is actually good for once alongside the Steiner Brothers. Or is that the dog Rick has with him?
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: TEXAS TORNADO TAG MATCH- The Varsity Club vs The Steiner Bros w/Missy Hyatt
-20 seconds in: Rick Steiner takes an UNPROTECTED CHAIR to the head. Sullivan thankfully gets his hands up when Steiner retaliates and then he crotches him on the floor.
-Scott and Mike wrestle in the ring while Sullivan and Rick continue brawling on the floor throwing each other on a table and then throwing the table himself.
-An unbelievable flying clothesline by Rotunda on Rick.
-Barking! Suplexes! Powerslams! This is difficult in a good way.
-Missy cheers for Scott as Rick counters a sunset flip into multiple headbutts into Sullivan’s groins.
-Another UNPROTECTED SHOT to the head to Rick Steiner, this time it’s a stretcher and we get a close up. Now time for an interesting end.
WINNERS: The Steiner Brothers in 4:45 when both Rick and Scott pin Sullivan after a Scott crossbody while Sullivan holds Rick.
FINAL WORD: That was too short and a good precursor to the future.
-Sting and Eddie Gilbert cut a good, but purposefully subdued promo. They do a good job making it serious for the next match.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: TV TITLE MATCH- Sting w/Eddie Gilbert (champion) vs Great Muta w/Gary Hart
-Sting jumps over two rings with a crossbody to start and Muta answers with a judo chop from the top rope.
-Muta is jumping around like a PWG highlight video in the first 90 seconds with dives and a moonsault.
-The crowd is surprisingly mixed as some vocal males are cheering for Muta. Maybe it’s because of the motorboat Muta does while he has Sting in an abominable stretch.
-Mist spot at 7 after a good back and forth and some amazing distance on the moonsault AKA The Great Muta is a badass.
-Belly to back with a bridge by Sting and we have a double pin. It all comes down to the decision and it’s naturally confusing because it’s the NWA.
WINNER: Sting at 8:11 to retain the title with a double pin belly to back suplex.
-Muta walks away with the title even though Sting is announced as the winner. The replay shows both men actually had their shoulders up. The crowd is chanting B.S
FINAL WORD: That was way too short and way too overbooked considering the talents involved. So, it’s every match I have high hopes for in the NWA in the 1980s.
Lex Luger is interviewed. The issue with making these notes years ago is some things are lost in translation over time. All I wrote here is “2222, wants no DQ rule lifted.” SURE!
-Ricky Steamboat enters with a dubbed intro and he’s being carried out on a plank holding a kimodo jacket. He’s also wearing a biker’s jacket? Who the fuck is this Ricky Steamboat?!?!
-I know I’ve said it before, but I love Luger’s old NWA theme. I don’t like his corny stage flexing. It appears as though he is a heel with an ego now. He bitches until stupid Steamboat agrees to reinstate the DQ rule.
MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: U.S. TITLE MATCH- Lex Luger (champion) vs Ricky Steamboat
-Luger is booked like reverse Cena.
-Steamboat is literally wrestling circles around Luger, who is bumping like crazy at least.
-Lex hits a stiff ass clothesline or as JR calls it “working out and eating right.” HAHAHAHAHAHA!
-A good rollup and nearfall is followed by a multiple clothesline sequence.
-Lex goes for a chair, but Ricky hits a neat counter by slingshotting him into the corner while still holding the chair.
-Steamboat continues to be a dumb babyface and uses the chair, pushes Tommy Young down and attacks Lex with a shot to the chest. You know what that means?
WINNER: Lex Luger at 10:27 by DQ when Ricky Steamboat attacks him with a chair.
-Steamboat goes nuts. This is the closest I’ve ever seen him lean towards a heel side. He chases Lex up the ramp to the back with the chair like a madman. Someone’s been watching Terry Funk tapes!
FINAL WORD: Another very good match cheapened by the finish, but I’m fine with it as long as I get a horror movie moment in the end.
The Freebirds and the Samoan Swat Team cut a promo backstage and it’s insanity. Fatu and Samu are digging and grabbing and biting one another while Garvin makes “nah nah nah” noises like he’s in ZZ Top and Hayes does all of the actual good talking.
-Not to be outdone, the babyfaces respond with a simple Midnight Express promo, Steve Williams flying through the shot like he’s Superman, the Swat Team being called “Samoaians” and Hawk threatening family members.
-BADSTREET USA!!! IRON MAN!!! MOTORCYCLES!!! I’M SO FUCKING AMPED!!!!
MATCH NUMBER EIGHT: WAR GAMES- The Fabulous Freebirds (Michael Hayes, Jimmy Garvin and Terry Gordy and the Samoan Swat Team (Fatu and Samu) w/Paul E Dangerously vs The Midnight Express (Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane), Steve Williams and The Road Warriors w/Paul Ellering and Jim Cornette
-Jimmy Garvin and Bobby Eaton start. That’s a good call. I love that these bodies are labelled athletes.
-Eaton hits some great strikes in the first period before Terry Gordy comes in giving the heels the advantage for the 400th time in this match’s history.
-Paul E jaws with the cameraman while Hayes jaws with the crowd.
-Dr. Death is the second guy in for the faces and proceeds to military press his future Miracle Violence Connection partner EIGHT TIMES into the ceiling. FUCK.
-Samu is next in and the action continues to be good, but unspectacular.
-Animal follows to a big pop and hit a huge tackle over the top of both ring’s ropes. Apparently everyone can do it. What could the current roster do with two rings consistently? Hayes tells Fatu to kill and eat.
-Fatu enters and the heels regain the momentum as the crowd desperately wants Hawk.
-They have to wait a little longer as Stan Lane comes in next. A funny moment on the outside: Heyman is strategizing with Hayes who asks “I gotta go?” When Paul confirms, Hayes responds with a “damn.”
-Hayes begrudgingly enters and DDTs all of the faces and follows it up with a dance. Meanwhile, I think Williams and Gordy are legitimately beating each other up.
-Hawk is in and nails an electric double clothesline off the top rope. Eaton starts DDTing everyone like Hayes and Hawk dives over both rings, too!
-Paul E can’t get his phone through the cage and then Tommy Young catches him anyway.
-Hawk smartly targets the man who has been in the ring the longest in Garvin and that’s a submission you don’t see everyday and that’s a great pop you rarely see nowadays.
WINNERS: The Road Warriors, The Midnight Express and Steve Williams in 22:18 when Hawk makes Jimmy Garvin submit to a hangman’s neckbreaker.
-The heels trap Animal after the match apparently like Hawk was previously in the “Marietta Massacre”? They escape soon afterwards.
FINAL WORD: The crowd was hot, the action was solid, they didn’t blade themselves everywhere. I’m very happy right now.
-Solie interviews Flair, who is a babyface which means he’s subdued and kinda boring here. Solie is solid in this role making this team handling the broadcast very, very good and Bob Caudle is there.
-A dubbed intro for Terry Funk and Gary Hart accompanied by security. What a crazy asshole Funk is, flailing about and threatening people. Flair enters with the pop of the night. He gets some Alberto Del Rio rain pyro and more HUNNIES!
-They start with an awesome brawl on the floor. Funk is so angry in the crowd and Flair keeps jumping him.
MATCH NUMBER NINE: NWA Title Match- Ric Flair (champion) vs Terry Funk w/Gary Hart
-Chairs are being thrown, too. It’s chop fucking city. Buckle up.
-A sloppy suplex from the apron to the floor kills the crowd when it doesn’t happen, but the loud ass chops get them right back.
-Flair is wrenching Funk’s neck real good.
-Flair hits 2 really safe but good piledrivers on Funk. You can watch, Rich.
-A Figure Four is broken up when Flair is hit with a branding iron behind the ref’s back. Guess who is bleeding now?
-Funk now hits the piledriver and it looks great, but Flair gets his foot on the rope.
-Flair blocks a piledriver on the floor. Funk responds with some constant neck breaks and shouts at him to quit over and over. What good drama and an even better prelude.
-Funk takes the branding iron now, there’s even more awesome brawling and Funk is cut.
-Funk’s fairly lame spinning toe hold is made significantly less lame by a good back and forth counter spot and the end!
WINNER: Ric Flair in 16:21 to retain the title with an inside cradle.
FINAL WORD: What a change of pace after the Steamboat series. I mean that as a sincere compliment. Two old men slapping expired meat!
-Muta hits the ring after the bell and mists Flair and they double team Flair. A piledriver on a chair is stopped by Doug Dillinger who sucks at selling and bumping.
-Sting enters for the save and trades shots with Funk. Flair is up like a wildman and goes after Muta. This is an incredible brawl that starts and stops and the crowd is going bananas.
-For the second straight PPV, a title has been vacated after the fact as JR announces the TV Title is held up in the aftermath of the Sting/Muta match earlier. The brawl continues AGAIN behind and past the commentators. Sting hits Muta with an UNPROTECTED HEAD SHOT with a classroom chair that’s in the building for some reason. Sting has a belt now and Jim Ross has lost his voice.
-Flair comes by and, for the first time in 10 years, thanks Sting. Flair is half red and half green in an amazing visual. He threatens to wear Funk’s Texas ass out and I’m sure he did that to a couple of the hunnies from earlier, too. Flair and Sting WOO and scream together in a cool ass moment to close the show.
-A replay and the cool as shit Great American Bash theme play us out over the credits.
THE LAST IMAGE: Doug Dillinger getting hit by Great Muta stopping a piledriver.
THE WRAP UP (no longer featuring Hall of Famers and deceased participants)
FINAL MVP of PPV: There is so much talent on this show, but no talent showed his better while highlighting his opponent’s talent than Brian Pillman.
FINAL LVP of PPV: This is one of the greatest moments in my life: fuck you, Johnny Ace.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Ric Flair vs Terry Funk
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: The Double Ring Battle Royal
FINAL THOUGHTS: Without question, this is the best NWA show I’ve watch throughout this entire process. There are still plenty of overbooked moments, but the matches and moments are so stellar and the crowd helps so much to make this a standout event. MULLET RECOMMENDS.
NEXT TIME: Just when the NWA is picking up momentum, I have to stop and watch SummerSlam 1989 with Tiny Lister in the main event. I signed myself up for this.