It doesn’t matter if you are a scientist, a freshman in college or a wrestling promoter: experimenting is exciting and scary.
Over the course of this diary, we’ve seen many new concepts. Some (the Royal Rumble, Survivor Series) have stuck and become traditions that last to this day. Others (Bunkhouse Stampede, Chamber of Horrors, a lot more Dusty Rhodes ideas) have gone by the wayside. This won’t be an idea exclusive to this time period in wrestling history. In fact, some of these experiments have seen attempt after attempt after attempt.
The non-weekend PPV is one of those experiments and this is its first real test.
Sure, we’ve had mid-week PPVs. Hell, the Survivor Series has only been on Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving Eve up to this point so far. But, those cases have always been bolstered by holidays or events that explain their placement by thinking of families getting together to enjoy together.
In the case of This Tuesday in Texas…I still don’t know what the obsession was with making Tuesday a new day for big cards. We will see it happen again in 13 diary years (which is probably like 50 actual years) and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s tried again in between that time. Has the idea worked? No. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the shows themselves were bad.
I’ll be the judge of that right here and right now.
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 45- WWF THIS TUESDAY IN TEXAS
(Funny note, the logo on the Network is a screenshot from WrestleMania 25)
Written on 10/30/2020
THE FIRST THING YOU SEE: The end of Survivor Series plays again with Mean Gene finding the Undertaker and Paul Bearer. It’s a good reaffirmation of the hot angle and title change at the last show, but is it really needed if people already bought this? Imagine if Linda Hogan is in the casket. That would explain Gene’s funny reaction. We go live to the Freeman Coliseum in San Antonio with a raucous crowd and some early 90s poppy music. Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan talk about the main event and its potential ramifications as well as the long-awaited Jake Roberts and Randy Savage match. Heenan is so good at these. He’s an early MVP already.
-The girls scream as the Hitman’s music brings out the IC Champ in a black leather jacket. The Fink introduces Skinner already in the ring in his blue shirt. For some reason, the camera looks worse here like it’s a house show cam. Gorilla says Skinner is undefeated when we just saw him pinned less than a week ago. Maybe he meant singles action?
MATCH NUMBER ONE: IC TITLE MATCH- Skinner vs Bret Hart (Champ)
-After the bell, Bret gives his glasses to a woman who is way too excited. Bobby calls her a bimbo.
-Bret dominates early and the only thing I keep noticing is one of Skinner’s sleeves being long and the other one being short.
-The Sharpshooter is teased and it’s already over with the crowd. Bret stomps on his chest instead. Soon afterwards, Bret’s shoulder is sent into the post and Skinner takes over five minutes in.
-Man, marks are hilarious. How easy is it to get cheap heat grabbing the ropes for leverage in an abdominal stretch? Steve Keirn is a good, if uninspiring, technician.
-Skinner spits his chew in a can, the ref takes it away and Skinner hits Hart in the throat with his claw necklace. The champ rolls away to avoid the fall.
-I really, really should have counted how many times Bret is going to do that running chest spot into the buckle.
-Skinner hits a reverse DDT (called a neckbreaker by Gorilla) and I think that’s his finish. I also think it’s the first time we’ve seen that on PPV? Bret kicks out.
-A second rope attack is blocked by Hart with a big boot. Then, he unleashes a flurry of strikes.
-Bret Hart had the first five moves of doom: the Russian leg sweep, suplex, backbreaker, second rope elbow and Sharpshooter. Bret tries for a pin on three of those five moves and Skinner gets a good roll up for two before the final move in that sequence.
-Skinner gets chucked off the top rope like Ric Flair, then locked into that final move of doom.
WINNER: Bret Hart in 13:47 with the Sharpshooter
Bobby Heenan is so good at putting over good matches and reminding us that Skinner was undefeated.
FINAL WORD: Like vanilla ice cream, that was good but nothing fancy.
-Sean Mooney interviews Jake Roberts backstage. He is cool, calm and evil as fuck. This may be the best promo I’ve ever seen from him. He talks about Elizabeth’s eyes being pure sin, his hair standing on end and so much ominous shit. Mooney’s exaggerated reaction to Jake’s words are a distraction and LVP worthy. Meanwhile, Jake is the MVP by showing us how to heel: he feels justified. He closes with “trust me.” Chills.
-Mean Gene interviews Macho Man and Liz. Savage interrupts Gene right away and throws his sunglasses away. I’m watching two masters of their craft on the stick here. Randy throws out a lot of “trusts” and even more “YEAHs”. Liz plays worried very well. Jake’s music plays as Macho is still talking.
-Back live as Roberts walks out. Macho attacks him running down the ramp from behind. The bell rings and the people go insane.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: Jake Roberts vs Randy Savage
-Savage beats up Jake with his jacket and hat and that’s hilarious to me. He looks like an Elton John impersonator gone mad.
-Roberts tries to bail, but Savage cuts him off. This is a HOT start. The ref tries to control him and it gives Jake the chance to cheap shot Macho and throw him over the top rope.
-Savage’s bandaged arm is sent into the post. How do you sell lingering snake injuries?
-Roberts being on offense/controlling the match by lurking around his opponent is so damn good. Heenan’s analysis of anticipating someone getting hurt mixed with jokes of Savage being the domestic one at home makes this a two person MVP race.
-The short arm clothesline is ducked and the ref bump is oddly avoided as the two rivals counter back and forth.
-Jake calls for the DDT from the second rope, but Macho blocks it and hurts the Snake’s ribs in the corner. As he sells on the ground, Randy climbs to the top. Damn, it didn’t seem like he would hit because of Jake’s selling and the distance. What a finish.
WINNER: Randy Savage in 6:25 with a top rope elbow drop.
FINAL WORD: An awesome six-minute prototype of a hot angle match. Speaking of hot angles…
-Savage goes for a chair and throws down Tony Garea when he tries to block him. He gets the bell instead and throws the timekeeper down. Back in and he eats a DDT. Both men sell hurt as hell as the crowd still chants “Macho” and I’m over the moon at this. Roberts hits a second DDT and Earl Hebner is yelling like crazy trying to get Jake to leave.
-Jake is selling the ribs like crazy as he walks to the back, but then he smiles and returns to the ring. He says he gave Tunney his word and the snake wasn’t in his corner. He lifts the apron up and gets a small bag with a cobra. Liz runs out and covers her man. Jake smiles. Is there no one else to help? “You won, Randy,” says an amazing prick. Jake forces Liz to watch him DDT Savage a third time. More drama and yelling as Jake opens the bag and puts the glove on. Liz is bawling and pleading. Jake tells her “beg, damn it! You want to save his ass, you better start begging now!” All of a sudden, Jake grabs her by the hair to BIG HEAT.
-HE FUCKING SLAPS HER! It’s a worked slap with a stomp and everything, but still. There’s an air horn after it that makes me unfortunately chuckle. Gorilla is incredulous, claiming Jake should be suspended for life. Jack Tunney FINALLY COMES OUT. Roberts wants a handshake and crosses his heart, saying there’s no snake in the bag. Holy fucking shit, what a segment. That might make this show an instant recommendation no matter what happens from here on out. Pat Patterson, Rene Goulet and others are finally out to assist. The refs help Macho to the back and Gorilla is right by saying “wait until he finds out what happened.”
-Mean Gene is backstage with Jake Roberts who wishes to be congratulated. He says he will slap anyone, but no woman will grovel. His detailed pleasure about slapping her and grabbing her…my god. Bobby Heenan will need to tell the greatest rendition of the Aristocrats joke ever to catch up on this MVP race. This is a shorter show, but I’m still going to try a reference challenge and it will be famous jokes.
-So much for my fun (and the crowd’s) as Warlord is in the ring with Harvey Wippleman. The British Bulldog’s music plays and he enters to a decent reaction. The crowd is understandably gassed. I just noticed the shitty “W” shaved into the back of the Warlord’s head.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: The Warlord w/Harvey Wippleman vs The British Bulldog
-Harvey jumped over the top rope to the floor to leave the ring. What the fuck, Bruno? Maybe he did deserve that Women’s Title run!
-A test of strength is teased and the Warlord kicks Davey in the stomach.
-Two clotheslines send Warlord over the top. Bulldog tries a dive, it’s sloppy and Warlord doesn’t catch him like he should have.
-Bulldog hits a nice dropkick from the top rope and Warlord gets tied into the ropes. Harvey helps him escape and Bulldog misses another dropkick and lands in the ropes.
-Wippleman talks trash right into the cam and fails to light a cigar and blow smoke.
-Warlord’s bearhug sucks. His belly-to-belly does not.
-Long sunset flip spot that Warlord sits into it, but still gets rolled up for a two count. He delivers a big clothesline out of it.
-Warlord locks in the full nelson and I’m starting to sense this is the exact same match as their affair at WrestleMania. Gorilla complains about the Warlord’s hands in Bulldog’s hair.
-After an eternity, Bulldog starts powering up before slowly going down again. Now, the Warlord is booty fooking him. Warlord finally breaks the hold and throws him down.
-Davey Boy gets a boot in the corner, a second rope clothesline and a delayed suplex for two. Warlord kicks out impressively. A corner clothesline sets up the powerslam, but it’s countered for a good near fall.
-A wrestling move beats the Warlord. That’s appropriate.
WINNER: The British Bulldog in 12:48 with a crucifix pin
FINAL WORD: You take that long full nelson away and you got another good one between these two who oddly have chemistry.
-Sean Mooney is backstage with Randy Savage, who immediately tells him to shut up. “I’m just as upset as you are!” THE FUCKING NERVE, MOONEY! Savage grabs him and talks about Liz being degraded and this being the worst day of his life. “You laid your hands…it’s my fault!” He’s devastating here and the camera angle is right in his face. It’s a totally different tone as his anguish is real. Now, he’s on the fucking floor. “No control…it’s over!” Remember what I said about Jake Roberts? Randy Savage is making MVP really difficult. He makes himself bleed with punches and slaps to the face. Incredible.
-Back live with Ted DIBiase accompanied by Sherri as well as the Repo Man. Barry Darsow trying his best! His sneaking around never made sense. Poetic Devastation time for Virgil and El Matador running to the ring and chasing the heels out. Repo was basically brought in to repossess the Million Dollar Title as Bobby explains the story.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: Ted DiBiase and Repo Man w/Sensational Sherri vs Virgil and El Matador
-Tito and Repo start and Gorilla thinks everyone is over 300 pounds. He may be an LVP if he makes a couple more boneheaded calls.
-Darsow hits the ropes poorly. Guess he can’t work Steve Austin then. He sells oddly, too. That’s another LVP to watch.
-The crowd is still irrationally behind Virgil. There’s a good minute-long tease for him to tag in and face off with Ted.
-DiBiase takes two clotheslines over the top rope as Heenan gets in a double entendre about Sherri’s chest.
-Virgil takes a beating for several minutes including a choke in the corner and double teams behind the ref’s back.
-Virgil hits a neckbreaker and hot tags Tito in. Repo’s bad flails on punches and forearms jolt him into the lead on the LVP hunt. The camera misses Ted sending Matador into the steps as Repo distracts.
-The ref misses the hot tag, then allows the heels to tag and that always bothered me. Nice double slam by the heels before a double down. This crowd is relentless. Tito hot tags Virgil in and boy, does he have one sloppy ass leg sweep.
-All four men are in the ring and Sherri hits DiBiase with her shoe on accident. It doesn’t matter because one weak ass shot will end this.
WINNERS: Ted DiBiase and Repo Man in 11:30 when DiBiase pins Virgil after a knee to the back from Repo Man
FINAL WORD: That was textbook until the weak ass end.
-Mean Gene interviews a smiling Hulk Hogan. He says “bruddah” like Jimmy Snuka. They show the Tombstone from Survivor Series and Hulk keeps calling his Hulksters “teeny.” He has four demandments? Believe in Yourself is always forgotten. He also claims to be the Designated Hitman of the Hulksters? This is not his finest hour. He says he’s going to bury Taker in Texas, then goes “ha ha ha” like ZZ Top. Orange you glad Hulk Hogan is so fucking orange here. One to go!
-Gong. Undertaker enters holding the title in his hand by his side. He is not as over as he was in Detroit. Real American makes the crowd go crazy. He rips his shirt as soon as he is through the curtain. The bell rings and Taker gives the boots to Hulk along with Paul Bearer. Double noggin knocker and Tunney is already paying zero dividends. Gorilla explains that Tunney isn’t there yet, but then he’s finally shown at ringside in a chair.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: WWF TITLE MATCH- Hulk Hogan vs The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer (Champ)
-Real cartoony “sells” and clubs to block offense by Taker. Bearer gets knocked off the apron again. I’ve never seen him bump that much.
-Brawling on the floor and monotonous Taker chokes/throat thrusts. The crowd is still chanting like crazy.
-Jack Tunney has two chairs. Why?
-The only thing Taker is allowed to do is choke Hogan after “hurting” him, it appears. He does hit a weird knee on a reversal in the corner.
-Old School, then more choking and brawling on the floor. Hulk gets whipped into the post. Bobby is always good emphasizing the importance of the urn to Taker.
-STINKY HAND CLAW!!! That’s where Kane got it from in 2012!
-This is lasting too long. Hulk is on his feet, rakes the eyes and Taker hits the ropes. He eats shit almost off-camera. It looks bad and the ropes might have sort of broke on him. Bobby covers nicely, then Taker hits a clothesline as intended.
-Old School is blocked and Ric Flair enters as Hogan starts no selling strikes. Taker is clotheslined over the top to the rail.
-Hulk hits Flair in the back with a chair and he lands on Tunney. Heenan is livid. Weak elbows and chops to Taker in the ring. Flair is up and Tunney is dead.
-Taker calls for the chair. Hulk blocks the attack and sends Taker into it UNPROTECTED and loudly. Big boot, but Taker avoids the leg drop with a strike.
-Bearer hits Taker with the urn on accident and Hulk throws some ashes that spill out of it into Taker’s face. Some fucking mystery, huh?
-Thankfully, Taker kicks out right at three and Flair picks Tunney up to see what’s happening.
WINNER: Hulk Hogan in 13:11 to win the title with a roll up
-Fink has no chill as he announces Hogan as champ “once again.” Heenan blows a gasket and Taker sells being blind completely over the top. Hulk hits him with the belt over the top because he’s an asshole. Tunney talks to the ref as Hogan poses.
FINAL WORD: What an overbooked mess. What led up to that wasn’t good either. The crowd’s happy, but I’m not.
-Hulk does a very abbreviated celebration. Guess he’s the baby tomato having to catch up to Papa Tomato (snuck it in here). He then walks out as Gorilla signs out.
THE LAST IMAGE: Hulk Hogan
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: Jake Roberts gave one of the greatest heel performances in the history of the business on this night.
FINAL LVP of PPV: I want to apologize to my good friend, Tony Kolt, because I have to give his favorite wrestler of all-time this distinction. Sorry, but Repo Man doesn’t work and the man portraying him isn’t helping.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Jake Roberts vs Randy Savage
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Hulk Hogan vs The Undertaker
FINAL THOUGHTS: A 90 minute show? Positive! Three filler matches? Negative! Good commentary throughout? Positive! A piss poor main event? Negative! An epic angle for the ages? Positive! By a score of 3-2, this one barely gets by. MULLET RECOMMENDS
NEXT TIME: WCW 1991 ceases to be a joke in both this dairy and in actuality with their final PPV of the year It’s Starrcade and the debut of the Lethal Lottery and Battlebowl. Remember what I was saying about those experiments?