I mentioned it in passing at the end of the last show, but I’m not proud to say that the UK-only PPVs are my biggest blind spot in wrestling knowledge. Besides having zero access to them until the Network launched, they largely became glorified house shows outside of regular canon after today’s show.
Today’s show is a big exception, at least what I’ve gathered and assumed all this time. It’s perhaps the magnum opus of my favorite wrestler at the time and his petty, dickish nature. I think I never watched it because I didn’t want to shatter that façade I had. Makes no sense why I’ve viewed the All Out media scrum so many times then.
As a special bonus, my best friend, Rip Camilucci, was able to view part of the event with me when he was in town for the Royal Rumble. It’s also part of the reason why this is a week late in posting because it took quite some time to recover from that amazing weekend. It’s a lot of beer and donuts and drugs to get over. But that’s only one weekend out of the year.
One Night Only, however…
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 142: WWF ONE NIGHT ONLY
Written on 1/29/23
HOW WE START: A Sky Box Office Live introduction! That’s so cool and authentic already. Rip thought it was HBO. JR does the voiceover about the British Bulldog. SummerSlam 1992 is highlighted. He’s defending his title, home, country and boyhood dreams tonight. No fucking pressure. We go live with big pyro in England. Rip wonders who the first promoter was that put fireworks in wrestling. Vince warbles the entire intro.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/Chyna vs Dude Love
BEFORE THE BELL: The heels enter to big heat. Trips makes faces at British people on the ramp. Rip doesn’t remember that his theme was Ode to Joy for most of 1997. Ross and Jerry Lawler are with McMahon on commentary. The ring announcer is Carston Schafer who still does commentary for them in German, I think. Dude talks terribly like Austin Powers backstage and totally fails to be funny. Vince recognizes the reference and that breaks my brain.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Dancing and quick hits by Dude early. This gimmick just doesn’t fit him. Rip wonders if Chyna was the one who braided Hunter’s hair.
-Foley is just straight wrestling and it’s very weird. That helps HHH seem like the guy who is working a lower card comedy guy.
-Love does some karate chopping to the shins when H is caught in the tree of woe. The accent is still the dumbest thing he’s done so far. Helmsley JUMPS OVER the Sweet Shin Music attempt and it leads to a chase and a Chyna clothesline on the floor.
-Vince loves talking in a bored tone and mentioning Chyna’s weight. He’s the first LVP alongside Dude. Triple H does the ref push spot with Mike Chioda as opposed to Earl Hebner and the place goes nuts. Is Chioda the first MVP? I am high.
-The closing moments feature Hunter taking a top rope arm drag (never seen him do that before) and getting hit with the Sweet Shin Music and the DDT, but Chyna puts his foot on the rope. That’s enough of a distraction to turn the tide.
HOW DOES IT END:
Hunter Hearst Helmsley wins in 12:52 with the Pedigree
FINAL WORD: That was the worst match I’ve seen these two have together. The crowd did the heavy lifting. Thankfully, the stupidest thing Foley did was that impression before the bell.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: The crowd is asked before the show about the main event. These are always great. All of the women pick HBK and the kids are hilarious.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: Leif Cassidy vs Tiger Ali Singh w/Tiger Jeet Singh
BEFORE THE BELL: Sunny comes down to an amazing pop just to guest ring announce. Tye-Dye looks good on her. All of this is just to bring out Al Snow. Tiger has Mil Mascaras’ music and that doesn’t fit at all. His dad accompanies him and Lawler has a good line about kids taking advantage of their folks. Tiger gets mic time and cuts a 1980s promo about not doing drugs, coming from Canada and being the Messiah. He is totally DOA. His dad tries to speak and Leif just starts the damn thing.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-The crowd is easily behind Leif as he hits clotheslines for a cutoff. JR laughs at King’s cab driver joke and I feel icky.
-Singh does some LVP selling and he starts botching right on cue. Back-to-back-to-back, he messes up an Irish whip, wrestling counter and getting sat on the top rope.
-His finish is called the Tiger Bomb, but it’s not the actual move at all.
HOW DOES IT END:
Tiger Ali Singh wins in 4:02 with a top rope bulldog
FINAL WORD: That was dark match before the show five years earlier material. Yuck.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: The highlight of everything was Lawler getting a hug from Sunny after the bell and her taking Ross’ hat and putting it on.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: TAG TITLE MATCH- Los Boricuas vs The Headbangers (Champs)
BEFORE THE BELL: The surprise title change last month is shown again. Miguel Perez and Savio Vega are the Boricuas in this match and they accost Sunny on her way out. They FINALLY have their baller theme. The champs get a big pop and jumped at the start.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Mosh and Miguel officially start. It’s a lot of nothing early. Rip and I talk about how the Headbangers definitely didn’t like the type of music they represent.
-Thrasher takes some heat and they run all of the classic spots-the heels getting away with a blind tag, not tagging behind the ref’s back, etc.) Vince seems so bored. I can’t blame him.
-Perez hits a glancing senton and standing moonsault. They run the ref missing the face hot tag as well. Out of general principal, Chioda is off my MVP list.
-Good lord, there’s ANOTHER cutoff. After an eternity, Mosh finally gets the tag and a big pop. All four come in and things break down soon enough.
-After a sloppy and dangerous powerbomb, Mosh ends this out of nowhere.
HOW DOES IT END:
The Headbangers retain in 13:33 when Mosh pins Miguel Perez after the Stage Dive
FINAL WORD: House show bullshit
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Some old lady kisses all over Mosh’s neck, so they bail to celebrate on the other side. Earlier today, JR talks to Davey Boy about the main event. He talks about his sister having cancer twice and how she’s going to be front row. REMEMBER THAT. He’s dropped 28 pounds to prepare. This is milquetoast.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: Flash Funk vs The Patriot
BEFORE THE BELL: I’m shocked Scorpio is still doing this. Vince mentions his Japanese background in comparison of his opponent, the hilariously booked Patriot. He gets massive boos. Just leave him home! He struggles with the flag and the two faces shake hands before the bell.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-JR keeps mentioning Flash has six kids. Was he the first Heath Slater? I have to shout out the guy in the crowd with an air horn that keeps the crowd engaged with his “let’s go” work.
-Vince keeps talking pronouns as these two work hard. Patriot is the de facto heel and applies a headlock.
-Patriot gets lost in a Funk comeback and just gets clotheslined. There’s a classic laser pointer, too. The commentators mention different fans and risqué signs.
-Good mat work into Flash applying a cool surfboard and spin kick. That’s enough to be an MVP threat.
-Funk kicks out of the Patriot Missile. Vince calls him the Funkmeister, so now Rip thinking Larry David is watching. Flash hits one splash, but takes the knees hard on a moonsault block and looks up at the lights.
HOW DOES IT END:
The Patriot wins in 8:47 with the Uncle Slam
FINAL WORD: What a nice, little match! Good for them!
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: It became too late to finish the show and Rip has left. He has great timing.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: The Godwinns vs The Legion of Doom
BEFORE THE BELL: LOD’s promo is the usual stuff: Animal shouts and Hawk rhymes. The heels are out first with a Confederate flag. The camera picks up a “HBK is Gay” sign and it gets an “uh-oh” from Vince. Is he Susan St. James now? I guess it’s time for a meta WrestleMania 2 reference challenge! Typical Road Warrior Pop greets the faces. It must have been hard living life with those haircuts.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-HOG and Animal start AKA McMahon talks about Bill Clinton being from Arkansas and the other two making noises about that.
-Phineas versus Hawk means we discuss their Uncle/first cousin Cletus not having his shots or passport to come over. Then, video issues! Right when King and JR make Vince laugh about Mad Cow Disease, too. Oh yeah, a boring match is going on.
-Animal is finally cut off hard with a shot to the back and a clothesline over the top. After some brief arm work, Hawk is tagged in and hits some slams and neckbreakers.
-Hawk kicks out of the Slop Drop because Henry took too long to cover. There’s a LONG stretch of heat building until a double clothesline and tag back to Animal.
-Domination, isolation, decapitation.
HOW DOES IT END:
The Legion of Doom win in 10:43 when Animal pins Phineas Godwinn after the Doomsday Dveice
FINAL WORD: Is everyone full on crumpets? This is so boring.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: The replay shows Phineas rotated enough not to break his neck. There’s a long shot of the crowd King complains about. JR is in the ring and introduces Ken Shamrock. He’s not cleared to compete due to internal injuries, so Vader is subbing in against Owen Hart. A spinebuster by Faarooq is attributed as the cause. He cuts a short promo and only messes up one word until ROCKABILLY comes out to interrupt. He’s so OILY! He jaws at Ken and slaps him, so naturally he gets pounded and trapped in the ankle lock. Rockabilly taps 50 times in 5 seconds like a total BITCHCAKE. Afterwards, Bret Hart is interviewed backstage to a mixed response. This is just a boring conversation between Vince and Bret that leads to the champ being butthurt (seemingly legitimately) about the reaction he receives. He blames American television.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: Vader vs Owen Hart
BEFORE THE BELL: Vince ignores King’s questions as Vader enters. Can he pass how bad Tiger was for LVP? He gets a good reaction, but Owen’s pop is SHOCKING. Is it because of the Bulldog partner proxy? Seems like it because he’s shaking hands. Lawler calls it out and gets on my MVP list. He waves the flag over Vince and the commentary team in a surefire prank. King complains and this all toes the line very well.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Nice chemistry early into a LOUD body block causing an early bail by Owen. The crowd is very confused over who to root for. Owen responds with a nice hurricanrana that Vader takes well.
-Owen keeps trying and failing to apply the Sharpshooter. Vader cuts off a crucifix with a Samoan Drop. Owen kicks out of a second rope splash.
-This settles into a Vader rest hold with sprinkles of Owen getting wrecked with the corner chest bump or a corner splash. The holds are changes in between spots (including an ankle hold) and the comeback keeps getting cut off because Hart tries a suplex or slam.
-The Rocket evades the powerbomb, hits an enziguri and locks in the Sharpshooter. It’s better than Bret’s. Vader gets to the ropes and Owen finally slams him (even holding him for a couple seconds). He’s the new MVP leader.
-Hart gets his knees up on a Vader Bomb attempt and hits a sick top rope dropkick. He kips up, fires up and takes one too many chances.
HOW DOES IT END:
Vader wins in 12:14 with a catching powerslam off the top rope
FINAL WORD: 1994 Owen Hart and 1994 Vader showed up and stole the show like they did back then!
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: The ending of the SummerSlam main event is shown again leading to Undertaker cutting a decent promo even though he refers to himself in the third person.
MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: WWF TITLE MATCH- The Undertaker vs Bret Hart (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: Taker has a lot of girls shrieking for him? I just noticed that the ring announcer has the same speaking cadence as Tommy Lasorda (and we have one more reference to go). Bret gets a very loud and mixed response. The camera can’t find the kid Bret gave his glasses to.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-This starts hot with a slugfest and the crowd is super into it. Taker scares the ref out of the ring and Bret removes the turnbuckle pad. It isn’t used right away and Bret hits a good clothesline to Taker when he sits up.
-The ringside area is so small. Taker barrels into the announce table off a kick and almost falls off the platform catching Bret off the apron. They fight up the entryway and Bret is slammed on the ramp. This is already their best PPV match due to the energy and the fact that it highlights Taker’s positives.
-Bret hits a DDT, Taker sits up and there’s more pounding until the corner chest bump. God, after Damar Hamlin recently, that’s hard to see. The heart punch is a little easier to handle.
-Bret is really angry saying no in a bow and arrow. Taker’s mat wrestling is pretty good. There’s a very good back-and-forth flow to this. There’s also a great “Ted Turner blow Hogan” sign. The Dead Man’s legs begin to be damaged meticulously, but the crowd bolsters the monotony. Everything has an extra zip to it.
-The Figure Four in the ringpost is so over and dreaded. It’s a shame it’s illegal. Back in the ring, Bret applies the regular Figure Four. It’s long, but full of drama and support. The hold is reversed and Bret has to be careful pounding on the mat now that tapping is a thing.
-The typical Bret sequence is segmented with either two counter or a Taker reversal. Chioda ignores the buckle pad still in the ring and shown prominent during a double down from clotheslines.
-A leg drop is countered into the Sharpshooter. Taker is stuck in it for awhile and powers out of it. There’s a great sequence of punches and each guy firing up in the exchange. Bret gets the ring bell, but gets booted before using it. The ref takes it from Taker and he gets chop blocked. A camera guy is kicked down by Bret going over the top rope.
-Bret avoid the exposed buckle, but ends up contorted via the back from the bottom of the ring post. There’s a great near fall off a roll up from a Tombstone counter. Bret tries his own Tombstone and Taker reverses. Bret ends up neck tied in the ropes. Taker won’t let up and Bret can’t get out, so the bell rings.
HOW DOES IT END:
Bret Hart retains via DQ in 28:34
FINAL WORD: What a war that never wore out its welcome. They finally killed it.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Taker chokeslams Chioda and Gerry Brisco as Owen comes down to help. Most fans are booing Taker now (or the non-finish). There’s no official word announced for quite some time and Taker storms after Carston once it finally happens in a funny moment.
MATCH NUMBER EIGHT: EUROPEAN TITLE MATCH- Shawn Michaels vs The British Bulldog (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: You can barely hear Shawn’s promo backstage because he’s booed so much. He’s already bragging about becoming the first Grand Slam champ, the Main Event, etc. He claims his middle name is “Top This” and accentuates it with a suck it motion. It goes right into his entrance and the girls still love him, but everyone else DOES NOT. He’s still hi-fiving people, though! Why?!?! Trash is thrown at his head and he makes a funny face. He takes a Bulldog Hasbro figure and puts it down his pants before kissing two hopefully legal girls on the mouth. Bulldog enters to a massive pop, big banging pyro and his sick sister. She’s dropped off with Diana Smith and family at ringside before he enters the ring and poses. Dynamite Kid should be here if not for killing his body and doing dumb shit like apron bumps to the concrete (and the reference challenge is done). Shawn is shown screaming at Vince and someone else at ringside. God, what a PRICK. Love him.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-The bell rings and there’s a blatant sign shown calling Shawn the “f” word. We couldn’t’ have blurred that in post? Hair complaints and stalling tactics by Michaels early. Davey just keeps pushing him down.
-Weird, reverse suplex back into the ring and a long press over the top is teased. Earl Hebner stops it three times before a backwards slam. It’s still all Smith with a big backdrop. The crowd loves it.
-A thumb to the eye temporarily gives HBK his first sign of life, but a hurricanrana is turned into a sitout powerbomb for two and we go back to an arm lock.
-They keep running back more hits from their past matches: the surfboard, the crucifix drop, etc. Davey is angry over the count and calls Earl a son of a bitch. After a delayed vertical suplex, Rick Rude walks down and regularly gets called “the insurance man.” He pushes Bulldog down in a roll up, trips him and throws him into the ring post.
-After an axe handle from the ring to the floor, I feel like Bulldog is overselling because the damage hasn’t been that bad thus far. Rude throws him into the apron. Shawn controls the match now with a sleeper, then an armbar. With the roles reversed, the match isn’t as exciting as their previous bouts.
-Triple H and Chyna enter during a double down. Bulldog hits another backdrop and tons of damage that Shawn naturally sells well. During the heel comeback, Shawn hits the flying elbow and sets up Sweet Chin Music, but Bulldog played possum to lure him into the powerslam. Rude grabs his leg and the distraction allows Trips to get involved.
-While trying to give the powerslam on the floor, Bulldog’s leg slips off the platform. He eats Sweet Chin Music and all three heels smash his leg into the rail. He also takes a Pedigree on the floor. Good lord, they are doing everything to him.
-Back in the ring, HBK applies a Figure Four after removing Davey’s knee brace. The crowd tries to rally him. Shawn throws the brace at the sister WITH CANCER. Bulldog screams in agony and the future DX is pulling Shawn’s arms to help. He’s stuck for a couple of minutes, the crowd gets silent and he almost gets to the ropes. Rude punches him to snuff that out.
-Bulldog won’t quit, but he starts to fade. Hebner isn’t even counting Davey’s shoulders on the mat. The crowd attempts one last burst, but their hero is out.
HOW DOES IT END:
Shawn Michaels wins the title in 22:53 via ref stoppage in the Figure Four
FINAL WORD: I can hear Bully Ray say “Think of the heat!” That was very good, but became a little offensive in a couple different ways near the end.
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE: Shawn gets on the mic right away and calls them limeys while having trash thrown at him like he’s Hogan just turning. He taunts Diana and makes her sympathetic for once. She jumps the barricade to choke him, but Chyna grabs her. The Harts run out FINALLY and run off the heels. The heat is off the charts as DX celebrate on the ramp and make a mocking symbol towards the Triple Threat seemingly. Chyna is smiling and HHH carries out the new Icon while being pelted by bottles. He should be an MVP candidate with this late character work, but I just can’t do it because I know what he pushed to get this done. Bret looks PISSED. Bulldog comes to and Diana cries as the show ends on this hot angle.
THE LAST IMAGE: The British Bulldog
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: You know Owen Hart is good when he completes a one night double turn and brings out something in someone we haven’t seen in quite some time. He was the best in-ring competitor on this show by a wide margin.
FINAL LVP of PPV: Vince McMahon came up well in the last two bouts, so he’s spared. I feel like I should spare Tiger Ali Singh as well because of all the shit he’s going to deal with, but he didn’t do himself any favors with five minutes of awful work both on the stick and in the ring.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Bret Hart vs The Undertaker
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Tiger Ali Singh vs Leif Cassidy
FINAL THOUGHTS: The last three matches saved this from being a total snoozer and all-time bad show. It still felt like a house show with the volume turned up. The crowd’s energy was infectious for the viewer at home, but not for a lot of the wrestlers on the undercard. The final angle rules, but it was also notoriously gross and morally ambiguous. All that mixes into a pass from me. MULLET DOESN’T RECOMMEND
NEXT TIME: Shawn Michaels pays his penance when he goes to Hell in a Cell for the first time at Badd Blood. This might be one of the most quietly famous shows ever, huh?