I missed last week despite the fact that I had actually watched the show in plenty of time. Festivities with friends and work just slowed my progress down. Plus, I have my birthday (that I intend to spend partially watching the next show), a toy show and the pending Rumble holiday taking up most of my free time and mind to prep.
It’s sort of funny that it happened on this particular show because it shows the changing and passage of time so well. I welcomed the two-hour In Your House events when they started and that’s already left me. Ground Zero is the first three hour In Your House event and it’s not the only reason it’s notable. We have two divisions trying to make noise with the opposite effect, the last PPV match of a tragic figure, the next step in a superstar’s rise and the first battle between two icons that have many more to come down the pike.
Does it justify the extra hour? I sure hope so because it’s hard enough to get this done and it makes it worse when I feel like I’m wasting my time.
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 140-WWF GROUND ZERO: IN YOUR HOUSE
Written on 1/11/23
HOW WE START: Ominous music and Vince McMahon handles the voiceover instead of Todd Pettengill lamenting the turn of Shawn Michaels. I miss Todd already. Fans at SummerSlam call HBK out horribly and he says you’re either with him or against him. The sick UNPROTECTED chair shot with blade job for Undertaker confirms the turn and Vince sets an LVP tone. Triple H is shown helping him for the first time. Are you ready? I’m glad to see Bret Hart is now the champ and he’s the anti-focus. Michael Cole takes over the voiceover for the show introduction and we go live with pyro in Kentucky and the usual trio. Minis and light heavyweights and three-ways and four-ways, oh my! PLUS, the Patriot?!?! What a hodgepodge.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: INDECENT PROPOSAL MATCH- Goldust w/Marlena vs Brian Pillman
BEFORE THE BELL: The pre-match video has Pillman claiming to be Marlena’s baby daddy. Cole does this voiceover and Dustin gets interviewed without makeup. They focus on Marlena being separated from her child. This story is wack to me. If Brian loses, he’s gone forever. Cole is another LVP with way too serious of a tone. Goldust is out first to a good pop. These matches have time limits now? Marlena is noted to be the one who accepted this match. Pillman’s entrance gets great heat and he gets jumped on the floor.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-The commentators mentioned Pillman and Marlena’s past relationship. JR confirms it, but not the rumors of a three-way with Z-Man. It’s all Goldust early and King is slinging slut jokes. Classy.
- “WHAT A MANEUVER” is justified with a Stun Gun onto the steel steps. The crowd is super into this and Goldust deserves most of the credit by keeping the bout together. He’s the first MVP after a nice suplex on the steel ramp.
-A bulldog block turns the tide and it’s so sad seeing Pillman to resort to brawling, stumbling around and using rest holds. The place is bumping after a big Electric Chair Drop double down.
-After a top rope crotching, Pillman is pressed off the top onto the railing outside in a big spot. He’s slapped by Marlena and the ref is bumped in a silly way from a Curtain Call attempt.
-Marlena tries to hit Pillman with her bag, but it’s blocked and used by the Loose Cannon instead. The finish gets a big pop.
HOW DOES IT END:
Brian Pillman wins in 11:06 with a loaded purse shot
FINAL WORD: That was much better all-around than SummerSlam.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Marlena is in tears immediately and Pillman grabs her and forces her to the back. Boy, this story is awkward. Goldust gets up and chases after them. King gets the bag and finds a brick in it. Backstage, Marlena is forced into a car and it peels away just as Goldust gets to it. They are trying to sell this story thoroughly. Lawler wants to know what’s happening in the front seat. Is this what the extra hour is for? Goldust destroys his locker room and gets bleeped while crying.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: Scott Putski vs Brian Christopher
BEFORE THE BELL: Holy steroids Scott Putski!!! He looks like Little Hercules grown up! Remember Little Hercules? Well, you are going to because he’s the reference challenge. The future Grandmaster enters to a surprisingly loud reaction and all of the charisma in his backyard. The speculation about the relationship between King and Christopher is always funny to me. Brian makes out with his muscles. The USWA reach is strong at this time. I’ve always loved that theme, too.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-There’s a “Jerry’s Kid” chant right away and that allows them to kill a full minute just working that. Putski has anti-coordination and charisma despite a decent dropkick. Look at the difference between WCW’s cruiserweights and Vince’s light heavyweights.
-Too Sexy’s laugh is over, so he spits into the crowd. Putski brains himself on a hurricanrana attempt and becomes an LVP. It’s weird seeing Christopher use the Skull Crushing Finale as a transitional move.
-Christopher hits a slingshot dive to the floor and Scott’s leg buckles badly. It’s recognized right away and Scott just sells like a dead fish while Christopher tries to cover. I thought it was a count out, but the ref just stops it.
HOW DOES IT END:
Brian Christopher wins in 4:40 by ref stoppage
FINAL WORD: Once again, look at the difference in presentation between WCW and WWF in regards to this division.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Lawler gets up and mocks Scott as trainers come to help. A close up of the knee shows how gnarly it is. They poorly talk on the mic to kill time and that’s the last you see of Ivan’s son in WWF. Two months in a row with injuries on PPV isn’t great and the crowd boos him upon leaving on the stretcher. Ouch. We quickly pivot to “faction action.”
MATCH NUMBER THREE: TRIPLE THREAT MATCH- Savio Vega vs Faarooq vs Crush
BEFORE THE BELL: Rocky Maivia has joined already! He already stands out without saying anything in a pre-tape. So, I guess he smells like The Other Guys here: it’s a very small sign of things to come. This is just an amalgamation of brawl clips and the leaders talking in front of a brick wall. Crush threatens to run his bike up their asses. Vega comes out first without the Boricuas theme. This is the first Triple Threat in WWF history (awful trivia answer), so they still necessitate a graphic to explain the rules. Faarooq is next and white people holding up their fists will always be funny to me. Crush is very over sadly. All three are by themselves.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-The heels double team Crush right away until a double clothesline. Covers are constantly interrupted and Faarooq takes over with a low blow and spinebuster.
-All three brawl on their knees like they are wiped after four minutes. Savio dishes some nice kicks and chops. Vince has been egregiously bad on this show. His tone doesn’t match the action or story in any way. He takes the LVP lead again.
-Faarooq comes off the top to break up a rest hold. Boy, they haven’t figured out how to book these matches AT ALL here. There’s no flow or cohesion at all.
-The crowd turns on it after an embarrassing Savio/Faarooq neckbreaker botch. Then, Faarooq and Crush randomly cooperate against Savio and both try to cover him, but the ref won’t allow it. Crush has stopped selling. Things are falling apart rapidly.
-Savio is repeatedly thrown outside and barely gets back in to break up pins. It’s a decent bit. Faarooq is totally blown up as evident by a shitty powerslam. After a spike piledriver, Crush hits the heart punch, but Vega sneaks in to win.
HOW DOES IT END:
Savio Vega wins in 11:39 when he pins Crush after a spinning heel kick
FINAL WORD: It’s a miracle they didn’t kill this match type right away from this snoozer.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: A Stone Cold VHS commercial claims to be uncensored. Oh yeah, the rocket is strapped. The Louisville Gardens looks like a hole in the wall. Muhammad Ali is given tons of name drops.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: El Torito vs Max Mini
BEFORE THE BELL: This obviously isn’t the El Torito with Los Matadores; it’s version 1.0. The crowd is already laughing when he tries to “bull” everyone. Some recycled AAA music plays for both him and Max Mini, who gets a warm welcome. He’s only 83 pounds and JR has a good line about being that weight in kindergarten.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Vince calls them the “mighty minis” and the speed of Max is fucking shocking. He does a DIVE and is more over than every other light heavyweight all year in the company. MVP. Yeah, I said it.
-Could that just be Little Hercules underneath there? Told you it was the challenge. Fuck it. The butt biting spots have begun by the heel. Max gets mad and shin kicks the ref before biting his butt and running to the outside for laughs. He ends up in the lap of Lawler and puts his crown on. Okay, that’s actually very funny. JR adds a great line: “pretend it’s Brian as a baby!”
-There’s another “Jerry’s kid” chant and Lawler minorly breaks. There are no more laughs with a stiff kick from El Torito. This motherfucker thinks he’s really a bull!
-A little person powerbomb makes me cringe. Same with a big lariat. Torito is kind of awesome. So is Mini after an Asai moonsault outside! Torito takes a top rope hurricanrana.
-After a little slip up (no pun intended), we go into the finish.
HOW DOES IT END:
Max Mini wins in 9:20 with a sunset flip
FINAL WORD: This should have been their actual counter to the cruiserweight division because this killed.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Stone Cold’s injury at SummerSlam is recapped and Sgt. Slaughter is the commissioner now reading cue cards. He insists Austin goes to rehab and suspends him, forcing him to relinquish the tag titles. They will make him real popular. In ring, Slaughter is with Ross getting negative chants like crazy. Dude Love comes out first amidst ton of camera flashes. You have to love how Mick Foley looks dressed like Dude Love. He cuts a weird promo and says something about a pained pancreas (which is the stupidest thing he does on this night) and gives the title up. Stone Cold is next and gets a total roar with his badass disposition. He double birds JR and taunts to each corner. He tells Jim to blow it out his ass right away and threatens Vince randomly. He’s the MVP even though he stumbles around some words. He throws the title down and Vince gives off shades of the future saying he’s out of line. Slaughter leaves and Austin verbally abuses JR some more while hating the WWF. Ross responds with kind words and gets Stunned to an INSANE response. Officials are out right away and Vince gets off headset. Dude holds Austin back from Slaughter. This is a brilliant angle setting up his character for the next stage of his career. JR is helped out and Lawler is on headset by himself until it’s sent to Dok Hendrix with Owen Hart and British Bulldog. Owen claims he’s friends with JR and wants Austin arrested and stripped of the IC Title, too. Bulldog speaks and adds nothing. McMahon calls Austin a jackass and shocks King, getting frustrated and may fall out of the LVP lead because of it.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: VACANT TAG TITLE FATAL FOUR WAY ELIMINATION MATCH-The Headbangers vs The Godwinns vs The Hart Foundation vs The Legion of Doom
BEFORE THE BELL: The Headbangers are full faces and have a pre-tape promo that’s worthless except for them spitting on the camera at the end. The Godwinns are next and also get a promo with a close up of Phineas’ gaudy redneck tattoo. It seemingly gets cuts off for the Hart Foundation’s entrance. Michael Cole interviews LOD who haven’t been WWF tag champs in six years. Animal yells almost unintelligibly and Hawk makes no sense, yet the crowd still chants for them and get the Road Warrior pop. The rules are shown again.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Thrasher and Henry start. You know, to get the people hot. Before you know it, the Godwinns are tagged in against each other. I’m so glad this trope is almost done. HOG just tags back out and it’s Phineas versus Mosh now.
-Lawler makes a Marilyn Manson VMAs reference and Vince has to think about what that meant and remembers. Shocking. The Headbangers are mentioned as last-minute replacements for Love and Austin.
-LOD dominates everyone and Hawk is extra sloppy and punches Bulldog as a tag. Hank shows great strength on a press slam to Owen.
-Animal briefly takes the heat and hot tags Hawk, who is still a total LVP mess. The Doomsday Device is stopped and so is a bucket shot by the heels. The ref naturally sees LOD use the bucket on PIG six times UNPROTECTED and HOG five times for a DQ just before the ten-minute mark. THE LEGION OF DOOM is the first team eliminated to big boos. After that, there’s a good double team move by the Headbangers and Phineas kicks at one. Stupid.
-THE GODWINNS are the second team eliminated at 12:43 after a double team is thwarted and Thrasher pins Phineas with a sunset flip. Owen and Davey are all over them right away.
-Mosh gets a lukewarm tag, but he makes the most of it. A Stage Dive attempt is broken up by Smith. When the ref’s back is turned, Stone Cold returns to another explosion to make the difference.
HOW DOES IT END:
The Headbangers win the titles in 17:19 when Most pins Owen Hart after a Stone Cold Stunner
FINAL WORD: This is another match type that needs time to stew.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: The Headbangers get a great pop by proxy of Austin’s interference. They celebrate in the crowd and the replay shows how crisp the Stunner is even without the kick. After another Stone Cold VHS commercial, the new champs are in the concourse with a BIG TITTY WOMAN and they are buying food for everyone. Slaughter checks on JR and he cusses and complains with ice on his neck, claiming he won’t be around if this keeps happening. Vince just goes into the WWF Title match.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: WWF TITLE MATCH- The Patriot vs Bret Hart (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: The recap video still has Pettengill doing the voiceover! It was always weird to me that Patriot did some interviews without his mask. It’s like interviewing Little Hercules while not doing a split (and we’re done). Don’t worry, you’re getting a picture. Del Wilkes sure is a boring talker. Sunny interviews him backstage and he’s a good ole boy shouting and ready. Fink claims this has a 60-minute time limit. Is that Kurt Angle?!?!?! Nope, it’s just the Patriot using that theme for a few months. It’s weird not hearing a “You Suck” and it’s just as weird hearing a good pop for this BS in 1997. Cole interviews Bret Hart and he’s so green at this. Bret focuses on the “world” on his belt and flusters himself as usual. He gets big boos and takes his sweet time entering and starts punching before the challenger is ready. Now, as promised…
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Pedestrian action until Patriot hits a dropkick, clothesline and fire up. It just screams “LIKE ME!!!”
-King is funny claiming to be calling the show by himself soon and trying to do JR facts, even naming the Hart family members by names and almost shits on Stu before remembering he can’t now.
-Patriot’s finisher is called the Uncle Slam. That rules. The face applies a long wrist lock and rest hold. Bret starts on the leg and actually gets a mixed response because Patriot is a little bland. He flicks the fans off to try and get more favor.
-Lawler puts over Patriot’s resume thus far and mentions his Japanese accolades. Vince puts it down right away. The Figure Four ringpost attack is very over with the crowd. British Bulldog comes down to root for his brother and gets immediate “Austin” chants.
-The challenger fires up with a DDT and clotheslines until Davey trips. The heels collide for a great nearfall, then the Uncle Slam gets a legit hope spot pop. Bulldog pulls him out right in ref’s view. He’s backed down and Vader comes down to help because he randomly turned heel recently. All four brawl including Bret being sent into the steps by Vader. There’s no bell being rung! WTF?!?! Any consistency would be great. Hart rightfully complains.
-The Patriot Missile lands and Bret barely kicks out. The crowd is fully into this now and Patriot kicks it into a good gear. Bret starts his usual sequence. There’s another ref bump and the second Uncle Slam gets a delayed pin and foot on the rope. The camera starts shaking with a “USA” chant during a double down.
-Patriot applies the Sharpshooter and it’s a good one to a good pop, but it’s reversed by the master. I don’t think Patriot gives up; I think the ref just calls it off?
HOW DOES IT END:
Bret Hart retains in 19:20 with the Sharpshooter
FINAL WORD: The match ended up being very good despite some really odd overbooking. Is this a WCW show?
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Bret keeps attacking after the bell with a piledriver and snaps the American flag before choking Patriot with it repeatedly. Officials try and separate them and Bret hits Pat Patterson before leaving. Patriot struggles to his feet and leaves. Lawler makes a Vietnam reference that takes Vince aback. Michael Cole interviews Bret and Bulldog and they call America a bunch of losers, but the UK is cool.
MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: Shawn Michaels vs The Undertaker
BEFORE THE BELL: This is hyped as a first-time match. The fireball to the face and the family drama led to a pretty subdued and human interview by Taker about the whole situation. Shawn’s chair shot and busting him open is shown again with Rick Rude involved. These two are wrestling soulmates, you can just tell. A cocky Shawn is shown backstage mocking the crowd’s response to him and he’s interviewed by Vince from the announce table. My god, I’ve missed this prick. He makes the crowd wait for him, then prances out and spits into the crowd, gets something thrown at him and gestures to his crotch all the while STILL SLAPPING SOME HANDS LIKE A FACE. He gives a jerk off motion to his late pyro, then gestures at it mockingly. What an MVP asshole and he hasn’t even wrestled yet. Thunder, lights out and it’s the typical badass Undertaker entrance with a LOUD bang to bring the lights back up. Michaels uses the ref as a shield getting chased around the ring and the ref is thrown down immediately. He leaves the ring, tells Vince off and says “nah” and tried to leave. Slaughter forces him back and Taker throws Mike Chioda onto HBK. There’s no bell, so it’s just started.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-HBK crawls up the ramp and begs as Taker stalks and punches. Shawn continues his MVP campaign taking a press slam on the ramp and getting his ass kicked and selling like crazy. He’s thrown into plants and punched once, bouncing down the whole ramp. We got SummerSlam 2005 Shawn!
-Choking and a punch over the table leads to a bump into the rail. This is a massacre and it rules. Finally in-ring without the ref, there are elbows and pins without a count. This feels much more warranted to what he did to Hulk based on the story. Earl Hebner comes out and Shawn begs for a DQ, but doesn’t get it. Taker is chopped blocked and the bell is rung five minutes in. Girls shriek for the Sexy Boy comeback.
-The comeback doesn’t last long and Shawn is bouncing and bumping like his life depends on it and it might. HBK blocks Old School and the crowd responses are all over the place. He’s caught on a dive following up and he can’t stay on top at all.
-Typical Shawn crack as he’s trying to leave, but he hits a neckbreaker and Taker sits right up. They have such a good dynamic. A chair is in the ring, bur Taker boots it away, takes it and gets stopped by Earl. He naturally gets bumped and we’ve hit overkill on this show. Two top rope elbows land and Rick Rude appears. Shawn lands on the ref during a kick out. Rude throws knucks and they land. A third ref comes out along with Triple H and Chyna, but he’s beaten up before three. Fucking LOL.
-Hunter and Chyna beat Taker up and throw him into the steps while Shawn tries to help Earl up just to bash him into the buckle. COME ON! This match has taken bath salts. Taker wakes up from a Chyna forearm, but Shawn axe handles him on the floor. Trips does his first crotch chop to a fan shouting homophobic stuff at them. HBK is bleeding under his eye.
-The Tombstone is blocked as is Sweet Chin Music and Taker retrieves the foreign object. Vince thought he ripped Shawn’s belly ring out. The ref takes forever to count and Shawn kicks at the last second. The ref naturally gets chokeslammed for it. Earl deserves a bonus on this night. Tim White comes down and just rings the bell.
HOW DOES IT END:
Double DQ in 16:04
FINAL WORD: Totally haywire and I love it, but it was definitely way too absurd.
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE: Triple H is pseudo-chokeslammed into Shawn, but Taker gets hits with Sweet Chin Music and Taker is tied into the ropes. Tim White is knocked out and a chair is kicked into Shawn’s face UNPROTECTED. Tony Garea takes Sweet Chin Music in the gut, Gerald Brisco is hit and Hunter takes a Tombstone almost off camera. It’s total bedlam and the rosters comes down to try and help. Billy Gunn comes right in and is immediately chokeslammed in his jean shorts. BITCHCAKES. LOD hold Taker back and the Sultan in street clothes is hilarious. It’s weird seeing The Rock as just one of the guys. Taker does his first big dive over the top rope onto the pile and King and the crowd gives it an amazing response. DX hightails it and Undertaker stands tall in the ring. The replay shows a great Rock reaction to the dive and the crowd is just as hot as they were at the start of the show. Taker poses and Vince almost signs off for the wrong show and we’re done.
THE LAST IMAGE: A Wide Shot of the Arena
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: Shawn Michaels made the Undertaker look like a billion dollars and he feels as fresh as ever by being the most transparent prick ever.
FINAL LVP of PPV: Scott Putski suffered an unfortunate injury and Vince McMahon laid the building blocks for his future, but Hawk looked, sounded and felt totally in the bag on this night.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Shawn Michaels vs Undertaker
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Brian Christopher vs Scott Putski
FINAL THOUGHTS: The crowd was white hot the entire time and that’s a testament to them because this is a Russo car crash show with so much protective booking, ref bumps and seedy gray area shit. The action wasn’t very grounded and it was a fever dream most of the time. MULLET DOES NOT RECOMMEND, but it was still fun in a way.
NEXT TIME: Missing a week and having an ECW show means it feel like forever since I’ve watched WCW, so Fall Brawl 1997 should be interesting.