When you are younger, there are certain things that just don’t resonate. The news is one. The severity of death and illness is another. History is perhaps the biggest one. You know that things happened, but the importance and significance don’t come until it’s been repeated and forced into your brain.
Wrestling definitely helped with that for me. The way that Vince McMahon and the WWF have managed to elevate their narrative to become the sole truth in the international wrestling story is fascinating. It doesn’t matter if it’s been with moments or wrestlers or legacies; if they want you to remember or feel it, it’s going to be remembered and felt.
I think the one thing that has been properly put on a pedestal over the decades has been Madison Square Garden. This isn’t the first PPV I’m tackling that takes place in the World’s Most Famous Arena, but this was the first show that I recognized the building as its own character. The crowd is different. The show looks unique. Everyone (for the most part) seems to bring their elevated game. It’s the true home of the biggest wrestling company of all time.
So, it’s fitting that the biggest star to come from the business debuts in MSG and the show features a huge double main event. This one has resonated with people for some time, but will it resonate with me today?
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 118: WWF SURVIVOR SERIES 1996
Written on 6/9/22
HOW WE START: New York City is shown in sped up shots and the radio, TV and print ads for the show are featured. The Hall of Fame ceremony was the night before. The double main event, another Taker vs Mankind match and the traditional elimination matches are all previewed. Karate Fighters is our sponsor and I’m still surly I never had it as a kid. Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross welcome us live, but waste no time in getting started.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: SURVIVOR SERIES ELIMINATION MATCH- The British Bulldog, Owen Hart and New Rockers w/Clarence Mason vs The Godwinns, Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon w/Hillbilly Jim
BEFORE THE BELL: The heels enter first and King mentions he’s wrestling later, but calling commentary for now. Leif Cassidy has a mean face and goatee now. Random music means the WWF debut of Furnas and Lafon. They get no response to match their charisma. JR puts them over like gangbusters because he signed them. The Godwinns are next and they finally figured out how to keep the commentary for their entrance. Look at the Karate Fighters blimp! Lafon is all smiles with Hillbilly Jim.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-The heels are really yelling at the ringside fans early. Marty Jannetty and Lafon start. Marty is doing a lot of weird stuff early (clapping like a face, dancing around awkwardly) and becomes the first LVP. Lafon hits a spin kick and chop and Jannetty poorly oversells.
-Leif versus Phineas is highlighted with the spit catch and Snow already being criminally underrated. MSG is oddly quiet. Bulldog and Owen pick it up with some cheating. Harvey Wippleman is the ref on the floor and sucks like usual.
-Ross shits on PIG trying a superplex and makes some bad jokes because he’s still a heel in a way. Meanwhile, Marty continues being abysmal with everything he does. Thankfully, MARTY JANNETTY is the 1st man eliminated at 8:11 by a Henry Godwinn Slop Drop. Right after that, HENRY GODWINN is the 2nd man eliminated at 8:18 by an Owen Hart spinning heel kick.
-After a blind tag, PHINEAS GODWINN is the 3rd man eliminated at 9:03 by the Bulldog’s running powerslam. The powerhouses face off and the very fast pace is ruined by a leapfrog/dropkick botch that looked rough for Furnas. He definitely had his bell rung and gets a faint “you fucked up” chant. There’s some “WOOs” on chops, so you know we have the smart marks in attendance.
-Doug is isolated for quite some time and JR has to be LVP again because he’s so miscast as the funny heel. Lafon tags in and wakes the crowd up. LEIF CASSIDY is the 4th man eliminated at 13:42 with a badass second rope reverse suplex.
-Lafon takes the heat now, but still has a trick up his sleeve. BRITISH BULLDOG is the 5th man eliminated at 17:22 after a Lafon sunset flip. Owen is left alone, but Davey chop blocks his eliminator upon exiting.
-The Sharpshooter is applied while King makes fun of Phillip’s name. Furnas breaks it up and Lafon hits a nice kick to get the tag. A sick dropkick and overhead suplex get the crowd rolling. OWEN HART is the 6th man eliminated after one more sick release German suplex that causes him to land on his head.
WINNERS: Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon in 20:41
FINAL WORD: That was pretty heatless and aimless until Lafon and Furnas got comfortable at the end.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: NYC is shown outside and Kevin Kelly is in the bowels of MSG with Mankind and Paul Bearer (who will be raised in a shark cage). They cut a wacky promo about eating cockroaches and stomping Taker.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: Mankind w/Paul Bearer in a shark cage vs The Undertaker
BEFORE THE BELL: Mankind’s music plays while Tony Chimel fixes the shark cage. Cage goes in the ring, Bearer goes in the ring, then cage. Farewell and adieu to you, fair Pau Bearer (yes, that’s the start of a Jaws reference challenge). GONG and Undertaker descends from the top of the building like a fucking bat. This is a legendary image and debut of his new look. Bearer locks himself in the cage to avoid him and Mankind jumps him while the cage is raised.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Taker resembles Damien Priest as he drop toe holds Mankind. That’s not the energy I was expecting especially as he transitions into an armbar. These two were trying to bury each other last month!
-The Dead Man focuses on debilitating the hand and a brawl into the stands leads to Foley getting backdropped over the rail onto the mat (thankfully). A flipping cannonball off the apron turns the tide.
-I love Mick Foley’s piledriver even more when it’s on a big guy like Taker. Lots of cage camera shots that have Paul saying “YES!”
-The Mandible Claw is broken by a tough throw to the floor, then Mankind is double booted into the rail. The replay shows his skull hit the top part. In other words, DUMB.
-More repetitive blocks and Claw applications follow. The ref raises Taker’s arm and he wakes up to hit a chokeslam. After a sit up, a missed clothesline causes Taker to fly over the top rope. He ducks the second cannonball attempt.
-Mankind uses a foreign object and the ref is dumb and doesn’t notice. Out of the corner, Taker powers Mankind up and hits his finish. It’s mostly on the shoulders, so it doesn’t look like death.
HOW DOES IT END:
The Undertaker wins in 14:53 with the Tombstone
FINAL WORD: That was the worst match they’ve had so far because it was just boring, standard action.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Bearer is lowered and The Executioner saves him before Taker can attack. After one clothesline, the heel bails and Taker stands around before finally posing in his lighting. Furnas and Lafon are on AOL before Sunny enters in a colorful outfit. She has “I Know You Want Me” as her theme. She’s just a hostess now after being the best manager the entire year. She joins Vince and JR because King is in our next match. She has great energy and spirit. Such a sad story.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: SURVIVOR SERIES ELIMINATION MATCH- Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Crush, Goldust and Jerry Lawler w/Marlena vs Marc Mero, Rocky Maivia, Jake Roberts and The Stalker
BEFORE THE BELL: Dok Hendrix interviews Hunter’s team. He’s the new IC Champ and he’s still putting on the terrible Blueblood accent. They’ve already taken out Mark Henry. Convict Crush getting promo time sure is something. Goldust just hits his catchphrase. A basic theme leads Crush out first, then Lawler without a mic for once and Goldust is somehow incredibly stale in just one year. Hunter is last and he’s without Mr. Perfect (who turned and left already) or a girl. JR is sexist by asking a woman could be useful for at ringside and Sunny rips into him in an MVP manner. Mero and Sable are out for the faces first and Sunny claims to have blown her away in a recent bikini spread. Then, look at the fucking Stalker’s moustache! Barry Windham has already lost his facepaint and just wears a standard WWF shirt. I’d drop a sad picture, but what’s next is more exciting: the debut of Rocky Maivia! He has all of the energy and babyface fire. He gets a good pop despite the hair and outfit. I have to do a running gimmick for him: what movie character does he smell like in each appearance? Mero (complete with bad ponytail) panders to the crowd on the mic and introduces their fourth partner: Jake Roberts. It seems to let the crowd down, so he unleashes the snake to win them back. He’s not wearing his vest thing and that’s unwise. Sunny gets King’s share of the drunk jokes.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Wildman and Lawler start amid a loud “Burger King” chant. Psyche! HHH and Stalker tag in before the other two even lock up. Mero tries to get back in. The stalling is spreading.
-Sunny explains away Perfect’s absence while Mero beats up Goldust. Stalker vs Goldust is a nice little moment between former partners. Barry looks like a guy Quint lost on the Indianapolis (and we have one more to go).
-Trips continues to avoid his rival (who happens to have gold all over his chest now). Rocky’s first action is against Crush briefly, then Jerry comes in for a kip up, leapfrog and impressive dropkick from the rookie. Vince calls him out as the former Dwayne Johnson. His interaction with Triple H is riveting considering their future. Big WOOs while Hunter chops him.
-Taking the heat as the rookie, Rocky keeps fighting until he tags Jake in. He smells like Hobbs in Fast Five: he’s new, he’s raw, but he’s inevitable.
-JERRY LAWLER is the 1st man eliminated at 10:00 after mocking Jake and taking a DDT. Jake takes a beating until he tags Stalker in. JR stumbles talking about his lucky boots. After a cheap shot by Crush, THE STALKER is the 2nd man eliminated at 12:44 from a Goldust Curtain Call. By the way, why the fuck is Crush back? He still sucks.
-Mero is beaten up in silence until Jake loudly stomps to get the crowd into it. Sable joins the efforts, but it barely works. The jaded wrestling fan has begun.
-Hunter and Mero have the longest, most ridiculous sunset flip spot. It’s just 45 seconds of Triple H stumbling and struggling to stay on his feet. Out of nowhere, HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY is the 3rd man eliminated at 19:19 with the Merosault. He did nothing surprising and he doesn’t seem like the guy.
-Mero hits a big dive over the top and hits the ground hard when missing most of it. Back in the ring, MARC MERO is the 4th man eliminated at 20:30 by Crush’s stupid ass heart punch. Afterwards, JAKE ROBERTS is the 5th man eliminated at 20:53 with the same move. At least he sells it better. The “Rocky” chants begin and Sunny wisely points it out.
-Rock fights both men off and has big flare on his punches. Crush hits Goldust with an errant heart punch and CRUSH is the 6th man eliminated in 23:11 with a flying body press. Goldust still sells the heart punch and JR roots for the young gun as he hits the worst finisher ever. GOLDUST is the 7th man eliminated by the shoulderbreaker.
WINNER: Rocky Maivia survives in 23:44
FINAL WORD: The match wasn’t anything crazy good, but it served its purpose: to create the second-best Survivor Series debut of all time.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: The surprise win gets a big pop and Sunny is going gaga over him. Is the kid an MVP threat? Probably not because it’s video recap time of Bret Hart’s return and career retrospective. He calls Steve Austin the best person in the world and the King of the Ring’s impact is shown including his attack on Brian Pillman. The Stunner montage doesn’t count for my tally, but his mouth running is amazing. This is a big fight feel.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR WWF TITLE MATCH- Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Bret Hart
BEFORE THE BELL: Todd Pettengill talks to Stone Cold backstage. He has total command of the room, arena and camera. “An ass whippin’ is an ass whippin’” gets a big response and the glass shatters. He appears from the smoky entrance and the skyscraper doors entrance makes him look like an MVP boss. He receives all the adoration. Todd interviews Bret before “the biggest sports entertainment comeback.” He puts over MSG and says he’s greedy for respect, not money. I don’t think anyone questioned him on that. He gets a rapturous response and big pyro for his entrance. JR says he’s not a clown or a trashman, but a wrestler. UGH, stop trying to earn another LVP.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-They go face-to-face and a blurred double bird to Bret’s face receives “ahhs” from the crowd. What is it about Bret in MSG and his opponents fucking crushing it?
-Mat wrestling and a deliberate pace early has Bret getting the better of Austin consistently. JR, when telling the match story and background, is bar none the best. It’s too bad he’s doing other stuff like putting himself over and Vince sarcastically responds to him about it.
-Austin’s explosiveness is top of the class on the Stun Gun. Vince mentions he has a match with Vader tomorrow night. Another heel vs heel battle for him? They know already. I feel it.
-Hart rallies and hits some trademark moves before his trademark corner chest bump. It’s answered with a top rope elbow as opposed to a second rope elbow.
-A brawl on the floor has Bret breaking the rail by driving Stone Cold into the crowd. It falls down on another smash. They might be kicking it into a higher gear here? Yep! Bret slingshots Austin into the Spanish announce table and pummels him on top of Hugo Savinovich under the table. Hart is slammed on the table and Austin elbows him from the apron on the table.
-I cannot tell if the chant is “let’s go Hitman” or “let’s go Austin.” He’s caught cheating in an abdominal stretch and flicks off Tim White. A slugfest develops to a big reaction and Bret knocks Steve down.
-I always flinch watching Austin take a piledriver. Bret gets crotched on the top and pounded. This crowd is totally invested now. The heel hits a superplex, but gets cradled after landing for a great nearfall.
-Austin hits the Stunner and Bret sells it like death, but a couple seconds being wasted means Bret is the first one to kick out of it. He covers him four more times. The Texas Cloverleaf is applied and Hitman gets to the ropes. A gnarly whip kidney first into the post leads to a bow and arrow. Austin is busting everything out.
-The Sharpshooter is avoided, but eventually applied. Stone Cold gets out and the Million Dollar Dream gets slapped on. He won’t let it go and it’s his downfall.
HOW DOES IT END:
Bret Hart wins in 28:35 with a pin counter to the Million Dollar Dream
WINNER: What a second half. How many stars can Bret Hart make and how many starmaking moments can Steve Austin have?
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: Austin angrily leaves and Bret exhaustedly celebrates as JR does a great job breaking down the story and replay. Bret does a lap shaking hand (including a congratulatory Vince). Sid is interviewed by Hendrix and he’s asked if he’ll finally snap like the backwards hat he’s wearing. He will do anything and everything to win. He’s intense and ready. Capt. Lou stumbles out to the live crowd and doesn’t get much of a reaction. He limps over to the commentary table, but doesn’t join them and just tries to get adulation.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: SURVIVOR SERIES ELIMINATION MATCH- Faarooq, Vader, Fake Razor Ramon and Fake Diesel w/Clarence Mason and Jim Cornette vs Savio Vega, Yokozuna, Flash Funk and Jimmy Snuka w/The Funkettes
BEFORE THE BELL: The Nation of Domination have arrived and PG-13 is rapping! I loved this so much. How did all of this occur in less than one month? The theme and gimmick are money even if people are confused. Faarooq’s leather outfit is baller. Fake Razor gets go away heat and JR doesn’t get why and lies that he’s better looking than Scott Hall. He even gets the pyro while his taunting is suspect. Glenn Jacobs gets his second chance and gets yelled at by Vladimir and bowl cut kid. He seems to be doing a little better than Razor. Vader AKA a falling star rounds them out. It should be him wrestling Shawn in the main event. There’s no story to this match. Cornette joins commentary and Savio enters for the faces first. Yokozuna is next and back looking bigger somehow than the last time we saw him. The poor guy struggles to walk up the steps. It’s time for another debut: FLASH FUNK and his Funkettes. It’s Too Cold Scorpio as a cool, dancing pimp. Cornette sells his debut amazingly and the theme fucks HARD. Ross has a good line about red and yellow never looking so good in the Garden. Their mystery partner is Jimmy Snuka fresh off his Hall of Fame induction the previous night. He gets a good pop and Jimmy yells in agony over it. This is an MVP effort by him.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-Flash and Vader start. One dances, the other pummels. It’s answered with a mistimed kick (because of Vader), but saved with a crossbody over the top rope and a great moonsault from the top to the floor. It gets an ECW chant. That’s for former champ Snuka, right?
-Vader hits the powerbomb, but Yoko interferes and can barely hit a Rock Bottom and get up. He’s sadly an LVP. Faarooq (without the goofy headgear according to JR) faces Savio now. Razor is also an LVP for being a half step behind on every move.
-Ramon’s fallaway slam is ABYSMAL. He can’t figure his hands out and almost fucks it up completely. Diesel is better with big boots, clotheslines and power moves. Funk and Faarooq are money together.
-This thing is a total clusterfuck. Snuka comes in and gets stopped by Diesel quickly. Vader selling for Superfly hurts. Jimmy fucking slams him! How old and past the murder is he?
-Vega is triple teamed as the refs continue to be bad. SAVIO VEGA is the 1st man eliminated at 8:32 by a Diesel Jackknife. Snuka comes back in and has no synergy with Diesel and (of course) Razor. The crowd is happy because FAKE RAZOR RAMON is the 2nd man eliminated at 9:25 by the Superfly Splash. Diesel comes in with a loud chair to Snuka’s back and bedlam breaks out. Superfly takes two UNPROTECTED shots and Diesel gets one UNPROTECTED as well. This was obviously done to protect way too many people.
WINNERS: Double DQ at 9:45
FINAL WORD: This was a fever dream you don’t wake up from.
THE STUFF IN-BETWEEN: There’s no time to stew over that mess because it’s main event hype time.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: WWF TITLE MATCH- SYCHO SID vs Shawn Michaels w/Jose Lothario (Champ)
BEFORE THE BELL: The video package shows Shawn is on a roll and Sid has been trying to get a grip on reality. They’ve had misunderstandings as of late and it has strained their friendship. I love the mood music for the backstage walk. It sets the tone perfectly every time. Sid enters as the coolest guy in the building. The crowd is totally behind him and his yelling at Vladimir to get amped is incredible. This is apex mountain for Sid. His name pyro is lame once JR claims it means “Suddenly I’m Dominate.” It’s a tale of two JRs on this show. An assistant knocks on Shawn’s dressing room and he begins his walk with Jose. The girls shriek for his theme and one fan grabs him and won’t let go. It took everything in his power not to call her a cunt. She was on him like a barrel tracking the shark (and we are done). Why does he already have flowers? Gee, why do the men cheer Sid? The champ’s stripping is cockier than usual. Ross calls him a single man and that’s being nice to Chris Candido.
WHAT STANDS OUT
-The initial back and forth is quick. Sid punches and Shawn hits a crossbody into a grounding headlock.
-Sid’s punches couldn’t hurt a bowl of punch. Shawn is carrying the burden here. The boos start for him when he chop blocks and works the leg. He’s already bothered by the reaction.
-Vicious backs into the camera and pushes it away in either a prelude of what’s to come or his usual goofiness. Every flurry that’s snuffed out by Shawn gets booed. A big clothesline gets an equally big sell and cheers. A press slam in the entryway onto the rail keeps the challenger in control.
-Man, the boos for a HBK comeback are wild as are the cheers from a top rope catch by Sid into a backbreaker. Little old me was so confused back in 1996.
-Shawn is out on his feet getting punches, but he punches back and slams Sid to more boos. He eats a boot from his second rope attack and takes a headstand bump. He’s putting in an MVP effort, but the crowd reaction (and his reaction to it) will cost him.
-The chokeslam is blocked, Sweet Chin Music is blocked and then the chokeslam lands. MSG really came up for these two main events, that’s for sure. Vladimir and bowl cut kid are next to one another. A kip up into a clothesline is a great spot.
-Sid grabs a camera and Jose gets on the apron to yell at him and gets hit in the chest. Shawn hits the superkick, but goes to attend to his manager. Is this overly protective or is it making him even more of a dumb, hated face? Back in the ring, the ref gets bumped with a crossbody. When checking on Lothario again, Shawn gets hit in the back with the camera. JR hopes Jose isn’t having a heart attack.
-The crowd is ecstatic for what’s happening. The ref comes to just in time to see the big finish. A woman yelling for Shawn to no avail and Vladimir being happy behind her is awesome.
HOW DOES IT END:
Sycho Sid wins the title in 20:01 with the powerbomb
FINAL WORD: With all of the bells and whistles, this was Sid’s best match ever.
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE: The whole audience is amazing elevating this moment. Paramedics come down to help Jose and Shawn keeps pushing them off to check on him. That’s not wise. Sid sells the moment well like the star he was always meant to be. Michaels crawls in a silly way up the aisle after Jose and the medics. It will be Sid vs Bret at the next PPV. He fist bumps fans on his way out. You stab Arn Anderson and still get your moment three years later. Vladimir gives him a big hug! Release the documentary, you bastards! The ending is replayed and more bumps are extended as the new champ exits and Vince signs off.
THE LAST IMAGE: Sycho Sid
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: Madison Square Garden is a smart crowd and they went against the story in both main events, but you really can’t blame them in the case of Stone Cold Steve Austin. He is the best all-around wrestler in the world at the moment. He’s earned everything with this run.
FINAL LVP of PPV: I almost went with Fake Razor Ramon, but I can’t really fault the guy for being in the unenviable position he’s in. Instead, I have to refer back to Marty Jannetty in his final PPV appearance. It seems apropos of his story because he seemed totally on something throughout his entire performance.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Bret Hart vs Stone Cold Steve Austin
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Team Vader vs Team Yokozuna
FINAL THOUGHTS: This show is held in high regard by many people and it must solely be based on the two main events. It’s the antithesis of WCW: the big matches deliver and the undercard is full of nonsense. The crowd was quiet for a lot of the bad stuff, but their energy made the atmosphere overwhelming for the big ones. Add in some spirited debuts and I think this should be checked out, but it isn’t as good as some would make you believe. MULLET RECOMMENDS
NEXT TIME: Speaking of history, WCW parodies it with the second installment of World War 3.