The Sixth Retro Diary Flairiod

I feel like I’ve been talking about it so long that it’s been said since 1995 actually happened: this is one of the worst years in wrestling history and there’s no time period that was less suited for holding a single Flairiod than this one.

This will thankfully be the last time this happens for a little while and there will be calendar year changes in the next couple of Flairiods (periods of time consisting of 16 shows established as the standard recap duration in homage to Ric Flair and Grantland). Even though it will cover less overall time, there’s something about having that yearly reset will freshen things up. Maybe it’s the Royal Rumble. Maybe it’s the talent being reinvigorated after the holidays. Maybe I’m totally imagining it.

While the pandemic rages on and my work/life balance is an ever-increasing struggle, I’m proud that we continue at the pace we’ve established. I really feel like I’m making progress and I’m on the cusp of the most exciting time (arguably) in wrestling starting and existing in my weekly life.

Before that, who were the shining stars and who were the drizzling shits before this landmark period of wrestling history starts? Let’s find out right now.

Here is my Top 5 Overall MVPs for the Sixth Flairiod

1.      Shawn Michaels- I swear on my daughter’s life that this isn’t biased because he became my all-time favorite wrestler up to this point during this era. Go back and watch these shows and tell me he isn’t on a totally different level than anyone else at this time. His four MVPs in our Flairiod is a record that will hopefully stand until he breaks it again. (Ranked as number 3 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #3)

2.      Bret Hart- If Shawn Michaels is at the top of the game at the moment, Bret Hart is naturally right behind him. Even when he’s forced to take a backseat, the Hitman is going to find a way to outshine his peers with his storytelling, athleticism, selling and even (gasp) character work. (Ranked as number 5 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #3 and number 2 overall MVP in Flairiod #4)

3.      Arn Anderson- The Enforcer is the master at taking the worst that can be given to someone and still making it shine. Then, when he’s given good shit, he still knocks it out of the park. He’s the most underrated talent maybe ever nowadays and I’m not going to miss my chance to recognize him. Besides, if I do, he’ll shoot me in the fucking head. (Ranked as number 4 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #5)

4.      Vader- Even on his way out of the company he’s called home this whole time, the greatest big man in the history of the business continued to be frightening, add moves to his arsenal and mastered his craft. He also did all of this while being specifically tied to Hulk Hogan the entire fucking time. In retrospect, he should be higher out of sympathy. (Ranked as number 4 overall MVP in Flairiod #4 and number 2 overall MVP in Flairiod #5)

5.      Brian Pillman- This spot almost went to Randy Savage, but it was better to have the future Loose Cannon back both as a fiery babyface bringing young talents along and a shit-eating heel on the precipice of his breakthrough character. This next Flairiod can’t come quick enough to watch him in all his insanity. (First Flairiod appearance)

 

Here is my Top 5 Overall LVPs for the Sixth Flairiod

1.      The Renegade- I will reiterate that I don’t want to speak ill of the dead and this poor guy was thrown into a spot he clearly wasn’t ready for. That’s not my job here, though. When it comes down to it, the knockoff Ultimate Warrior made the real Ultimate Warrior look like Ultimo Dragon. He’s undoubtedly one of the worst professional wrestlers I’ve ever seen and the only man who earned multiple LVPs in this period. (First Flairiod appearance)

2.      King Mabel- Maybe the poster child of bad wrestling in this year along with Renegade, this man was on a mission to injure everyone he wrestled, botch spots as much as possible and lack the star power to prove that he was ready for the massive push he received. It’s all downhill for him from here on out. (First Flairiod appearance)

3.      Sid- Welcome back! It’s amazing to consider that he still earned this spot WITHOUT the “we’re live, pal” promo because it took place on a pre-show. He is truly the Master and the Ruler of not living up to his potential. (Ranked as number 5 surprise in Flairiod #2 and Ranked number 3 overall LVP in Flairiod #3)

4.      The Taskmaster- Change your name, add some face paint and lead the worst stable possibly of all time and you know you’re still going to be on my overall shitlist, Kevin Sullivan. (Ranked as number 2 overall LVP in Flairiod #5)

5.      Dean Douglas- This spot almost went to Jim Duggan, but I gave him a break for once. We are so close to this character being expelled, but the man himself deserves some extra credit for totally flunking at this assignment. That was my Gene Shalit impression. (Ranked as number 3 disappointment in Flairiod #4)

 

Here is my Top 5 Uncrowned MVPs for the Sixth Flairiod

1.      123 Kid- Sean Waltman may never get the credit he truly deserves for being so revolutionary with his in-ring acumen and I hope that fact doesn’t translate into this project as well. Either as a scrappy underdog or a twerp of a heel, the future X-Pac continued to be a standout in the land of giants. (Ranked as number 3 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #5)

2.      Jeff Jarrett- It pains me to give Double J any credit ever, but I don’t think he was ever any better than during 1995 as a wonderful heel that could get it done in the ring, a delusional heel that thinks he can sing and a passionate heel behind the mic. This should be an honor considering my best friend absolutely hates his guts. (First Flairiod appearance)

3.      Jerry Sags- He’s been oddly absent along with Knobbs recently, but he’s sorely missed. He’s an absolute mess in the best possible way, quietly athletic and impactful and even cuts a pretty good promo even now and then. Give me the Jerry Sags indy comeback, damn it! (Ranked as number 4 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #3)

4.      Booker T- I can dig what this sucka is bringing in the early part of his career. (Ranked as number 2 disappointment in Flairiod #5)

5.      Razor Ramon- He’s only slid in this ranking because I’ve noticed some repetitive tendencies and the Kliq attitude is definitely visible. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s consistently good in the ring, cool in his words and over as fuck with the crowd. This seems destined to happen before it’s all said and done. (Ranked as number 2 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #4 and number 1 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #5)

 

Here is my Top 5 Uncrowned LVPs for the Sixth Flairiod

1.      Stevie Ray- Part of the reason why Booker T is featured on the uncrowned MVP list is because of this ranking for his brother and all the heavy lifting he has to do. You can see the lack of coordination in the body and mouth of the Marty Jannetty of Harlem Heat. (Ranked as number 2 disappointment in Flairiod #5)

2.      Dave Sullivan- While his “brother” has earned the “honors” across two characters, this doof continues to be not bad enough somehow despite the face that he is sloppy, silly and shitty. I think he’s out of the woods because he’s basically on his way out now. (Ranked as number 1 uncrowned LVP in Flairiod #5)

3.      British Bulldog- The heel turn has been DOA so far and it’s not like he had much of a pulse prior to it. I’m shocked he’s not mentioned in all time bad promo circles more because he sure deserves to be. (Ranked as number 2 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #1 and number 2 surprise in Flairiod #4)

4.      Alex Wright- This has nothing to do with the dancing and everything to do with how green he is, how prominently he was pushed initially and how he simply looks like a bitch (although he’s not Billy Gunn levels of that). (First Flairiod appearance)

5.      Sir Mo- Fuck this guy. That’s all. (First Flairiod appearance)

 

Here are my Top 5 Surprises for the Sixth Flairiod

1.      Diamond Dallas Page- Talk about someone who has made a total 360 in every regard. You can see the work being put in with every hold and move. I didn’t’ think that it happened this early. Pun very much intended here: DDP is about to make a big BANG in this diary. (Ranked as number 2 disappointment in Flairiod #3)

2.      Hunter Hearst Helmsley- All of the jokes about tracking if he does anything surprising or being “the guy” aside, the boss needs to be looking out for him already. Not because he’s checking out his daughter, but because his work has warranted it. (First Flairiod appearance)

3.      The Roadie- Until lately, I had Road Dogg number one in this section because he absolutely dropped my jaw in his appearances. Of course, he was still stupidly charismatic, but he was a much better wrestler than he would be later in his career. It figured he’s stick with Jarrett and ruin his chance to be a bigger deal two years in advance. (First Flairiod appearance)

4.      Hakushi- I wasn’t surprised that he was as good as he ended up being. I was surprised that the crowd dug him as much as they did and that he doesn’t last longer because of it. You could have sold so many temporary tattoo kits to kids! (First Flairiod appearance)

5.      Diesel- Much like his future Outsider partner, this drop in the same category is more a statement on the competition and not the individual’s decline. I do not think Kevin Nash deserves any of the grief he receives historically for his WWF Title run because he worked his ass off from what I could tell. Maybe don’t put him up against Sid and Mabel, two guys who were on the overall LVP list? (Ranked as number 1 uncrowned LVP in Flairiod #3 and number 1 surprise in Flairiod #5)

 

Here are my Top 5 Disappointments for the Sixth Flairiod

1.      Savio Vega- I knew we’d get a lot of the former Kwang, but I figured I’d be impressed at some point with his popularity or moveset or character. That hasn’t happened yet and I’m going to need it soon before I really start wanting the ninja back. (First Flairiod appearance)

2.      Goldust- This encapsulates both the character of Goldust in his two matches in WWF and the man behind him, Dustin Rhodes, who had two disappointing bouts prior to his WCW departure. This should be the period where he’s approaching his prime and I’m fearful we’ve seen it from an in-ring aspect. (Ranked as number 1 surprise in Flairiod #3 and number 1 uncrowned MVP in Flairiod #4)

3.      Meng- Some credit needs to be given to WCW for taking a perennial lower card heel and building him into a deadly, ass-kicking “Face of Terror.” The only problem is that the former Haku just doesn’t have it between the ropes to that extent and tends to look silly more often than not. I hope he doesn’t read this and rip my fucking throat out. (First Flairiod appearance)

4.      Sgt. Craig Pittman- You hope for hidden gems in this project and I remember being supportive of the idea of the Pitbull as a kid. I think that was just because of his action figure because he’s actually sloppy and awkward. (First Flairiod appearance)

5.      Dave Penzer- If you are going to replace Gary Michael Cappetta, you better stand out. This is petty as fuck, but I’ve never liked the future voice of TNA. There’s just something corny and bad about it. (First Flairiod appearance)

 

Here are my Top 5 Favorite Matches during the Sixth Flairiod

1.      Shawn Michaels vs Razor Ramon at SummerSlam 1995

2.      Shawn Michaels vs Jeff Jarrett at In Your House 2

3.      Bret Hart vs Diesel at Royal Rumble 1995

4.      Alex Wright vs Brian Pillman at Great American Bash 1995

5.      Hulk Hogan vs Vader at SuperBrawl V

 

Here are my Top 5 Least Favorite Matches during the Sixth Flairiod

1.      Blacktop Bully vs Dustin Rhodes at Uncensored 1995

2.      Kamala vs Jim Duggan at Bash at the Beach 1995

3.      Hulk Hogan vs The Giant at Halloween Havoc 1995

4.      Diesel vs Sid at In Your House 2

5.      Jim Duggan vs Bunkhouse Buck at SuperBrawl V

 

Here are the Top 5 Win Totals in Retro Diary History

1.      Sting- 35

2.      Hulk Hogan- 29

3.      Bret Hart and Randy Savage- 25

4.      Ric Flair- 21

5.      Goldust and Rick Steiner- 20

 

Here are the Top 5 Loss Totals in Retro Diary History

1.      Arn Anderson- 24

2.      Bret Hart and IRS- 20

3.      Ric Flair- 18

4.      Greg Valentine and Tito Santana- 17

5.      Hercules, Ted DiBiase, Shawn Michaels and Lex Luger- 16

 

Here is the Top 5 in My All-Time Favorite Matches

1.      Ric Flair- 18

2.      Bret Hart- 15

3.      Shawn Michaels and Randy Savage- 12

4.      Ricky Steamboat and Sting- 11

5.      Vader- 9

 

Here is the Top 3 in My All-Time Least Favorite Matches

1.      Jim Duggan- 8

2.      Hulk Hogan, Kevin Sullivan, Goldust and Undertaker- 6

3.      IRS, Steve Austin, Bam Bam Bigelow, King Mabel and Sid- 5

 

Here is the All-Time MVP Leaderboard

1.      Bobby Heenan- 9

2.      Ric Flair, Vader, Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart- 5

3.      Jesse Ventura, Sting, Owen Hart and Ted DiBiase- 3

 

Here is the All-Time LVP Leaderboard

1.      Nikolai Volkoff, Bob Caudle, Nailz and Lex Luger- 3

 

Here are the Top 5 UNPROTECTED HEAD SHOT Recipients

1.      Cactus Jack 23

2.      Vader- 18

3.      Terry Funk- 14

4.      Kevin Sullivan- 8

5.      Jerry Sags- 7

Here are some of the other things I’m tracking

Billy Gunn is STILL batting a perfect 100% on appearing like Billy Bitchcakes.

Ric Flair has fallen below 50% on his top rope success rate.

Triple H has been THE guy 40% of the time, but done something surprising every outing.

The Undertaker is hitting Tombstones again, adding three to his all-time total and making it look like death 64% of the time.

Three Diamond Cutters have landed and one of them was performed by “Make a Difference” Fatu.

Goldust and Mr. Perfect joined the “MVP and LVP” list.

 

I don’t mean to backtrack on everything I’ve been blaring about 1995, but I was honestly expecting worse. We had no PPV crack the top 20 shows and three join the bottom 10 ever, yet there were enough positives that the weight wasn’t totally disproportionate. 1995…it’s been real.

We only have a couple more shows in this infamous year, but there’s so much more in Flairiod number seven to look forward to. We have the Boyhood Dream, the burgeoning Giant, the return of triple cages and Lethal Lotteries, a fucking power outage, the master of Destrucity returning and bikers

Oh yeah and the birth of the New World Order and Austin 3:16. Nothing crazy.

PPV Rankings

1.      WrestleMania 3

2.      Royal Rumble 1992

3.      Spring Stampede 1994

4.      Survivor Series 1987

5.      Great American Bash 1989

6.      WrestleMania X

7.      SuperBrawl 2

8.      Royal Rumble 1993

9.      Survivor Series 1988

10.  Starrcade 1986

11.  Royal Rumble 1990

12.  SuperBrawl 3

13.  Chi-Town Rumble

14.  WrestleMania VI

15.  WrestleWar 91

16.  Starrcade 1983

17.  Starrcade 1992

18.  WrestleWar 90

19.  SummerSlam 91

20.  Starrcade 1988

21.  Royal Rumble 1995*

22.  Halloween Havoc 1990

23.  King of the Ring 1993

24.  WrestleMania VII

25.  Survivor Series 1995*

26.  Great American Bash 1990

27.  Survivor Series 1991

28.  Great American Bash 95*

29.  WrestleMania 2

30.  Great American Bash 88

31.  WrestleWar 89

32.  SuperBrawl I

33.  SummerSlam 95*

34.  Survivor Series 1992

35.  This Tuesday in Texas

36.  WrestleWar 92

37.  King of the Ring 94

38.  Slamboree 95*

39.  Halloween Havoc 93

40.  In Your House 2*

41.  Starrcade 93

42.  In Your House 1*

43.  Survivor Series 94

44.  The Wrestling Classic

45.  Starrcade 1987

46.   Beach Blast 1992

47.   SummerSlam 1993

48.   WrestleMania VIII

49.   Royal Rumble 1991

50.   Slamboree 1994

51.   SummerSlam 1988

52.   SummerSlam 1989

53.   Starrcade 1989

54.   Survivor Series 1989

55.   SummerSlam 1992

56.   Slamboree 1993

57.   SuperBrawl IV

58.   SummerSlam 1994

59.   Survivor Series 1990

60.   Bash at the Beach 1994

61.   In Your House 3*

62.   Halloween Havoc 1989

63.   Great American Bash 1992

64.   Beach Blast 1993

65.   Royal Rumble 1994

66.   Starrcade 1985

67.   Bunkhouse Stampede

68.   The Big Event

69.   Royal Rumble 1989

70.   Survivor Series 1993

71.   SummerSlam 1990

72.   WrestleMania V

73.   Fall Brawl 1994

74.   SuperBrawl V*

75.   Fall Brawl 1995*

76.   Battlebowl

77.   Halloween Havoc 1992

78.   Royal Rumble 1988

79.   Halloween Havoc 1991

80.   WrestleMania 1

81.   Halloween Havoc 1994

82.   Bash at the Beach 1995*

83.   WrestleMania XI*

84.   WrestleMania IX

85.   Halloween Havoc 1995*

86.   Starrcade 1991

87.   Starrcade 1990

88.   WrestleMania IV

89.   In Your House 4*

90.   Starrcade 1994

91.   Capitol Combat

92.   Starrcade 1984

93.   Fall Brawl 1993

94.   King of the Ring 1995*

95.   Great American Bash 1991

96.   Uncensored 1995*