I believe Sam Cooke said it best: a change is gonna come.
For the past several weeks, it’s been a real challenge to meet my own self-imposed deadlines of getting a show watched and posted every Friday. Life being as busy as it is remains the primary reason, but my process and longwindedness sure don’t help. I have to handwrite my notes and then transcribe them on the computer. I’m weird and stuck in my ways.
Back when I took my old notes for Battlebowl, I noticed that I kept my thoughts a little tighter and it was honestly an easier read. I understand how taxing reading about a three-hour wrestling show probably is.
That’s why I’m starting to be more concise starting with this PPV. It’s not going to be an instant process. I say that because I’m writing this intro after having finished everything else and we are still at 4500+ words and 10 pages. Specifically for the matches themselves, I’m going to try my best to leave more to the imagination and focus on the important stuff. The introduction fails in that same boat as well.
That said, I think I picked the perfect show to test this out on.
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 70: WCW SUPERBRAWL IV-DOUBLE THUNDERCAGE LIVE
Written on 6/27/21
THE FIRST THING YOU SEE: The most incredibly plain recap of the three title matches. The highlights are this recap: Arn Anderson being back, an UNPROTECTED chair shot to Cactus Jack from one of the Nasty Boys and Vader sitting on a throne in whatever Thundercage is supposed to be. In contrast, Ric Flair is running shitty, downstairs stadiums and obviously breathing heavy while claiming not to be breathing at all on the treadmill. The Flair gym montage is extended and I love his 1994 workout gear. We are off and running!
-Tony Schiavone welcomes us from Albany, GA and he’s joined by Bobby Heenan. I could have sworn that he debuted on this PPV, but it was the previous Clash of the Champions. He already seems bored while rooting against Ric Flair, but gets more into making fun of The Boss. Tony is non-plussed by him, then talks about the bonus match of Johnny B Badd vs Michael Hayes stemming from Hayes’ turn with a KO punch on Worldwide. Bobby tells a rough joke early and it just shows the difference between WWF and WCW. Here, he’s the first LVP.
-Badd enters in an extravagant outfit even for him. He gets a good pop and he shoots two Badd Blasters. That’s a LOT of confetti. It would make Rip Taylor jealous at the end of any Jackass movie (and celebrity cameos in those movies is our reference challenge). A very Southern Freebird song plays; it’s solid, but no Badstreet. Hayes is pushed out in a wheelchair by Jimmy Garvin in a suit. I really hate Hayes’ Confederate jacket.
-Mean Gene and new commissioner Nick Bockwinkel greet them. Hayes is very funny in his tone explaining his injury and congratulating Bockwinkel on his new role. He has a conflicting story from Garvin and it gets natural heat. Nick examines the doctor’s note while Garvin says he wishes he could fight. Bockwinkel has a very boring presence and explains that the Freebirds still have a contract with WCW. Garvin claims he’s retired and works as a commercial airline pilot and is told “not for long” in a very LVP way. It sure isn’t the AWA heyday so far tonight. The match is made for later and Hayes lets out a funny “NO!” He’s the first MVP and this show is off to one hell of an odd start.
-Heenan’s mouth is agape at his former charge’s decision. He’s playing so against type and his usual favorites. He sells good exasperation, but Tony just doesn’t fit with him. All he does is laugh. I’m in for a long few years.
-Harlem Heat enter with much better, leather gear. They still have their shitty names, though. Those hats still need to go. Generic music for a new team from the “lightning capital of Orlando, Florida” and it’s Thunder and Lightning. Look at these fucking jabrones. Bobby calls them Batman and Robin. For real, I live in Orlando and we don’t have THAT much lightning. What’s the thunder capital?
MATCH NUMBER ONE: Harlem Heat vs Thunder and Lightning
-The future Booker T starts with the future NWO Sting/Cobra. He has way too many tassels.
-Schiavone keeps calling his partner “Bob” and that’s almost sacrilegious. All of Heenan’s analysis is very general and that’s much like the chain wrestling so far.
-Kole gets a big laugh by telling the ref to shut up while in a hammerlock while Bobby complains about not getting information in his headset like Tony.
-More of the same when Kane tags in. Before long, Kole is back in and gets stuck in more shitty holds until a cheap shot and clothesline over the top changes the complexion finally.
-Booker is so charismatic and athletic. He does all of the heavy lifting. Meanwhile, a camera shows Ric Flair in his locker room with Arn and Ricky Steamboat.
-Thunder tags Lightning after a missed top rope elbow by Kole. He unleashes some fairly pedestrian hot tag offense as the action breaks down quickly. The ref forces the face out, so that means the heel can capitalize for the win.
WINNERS: Harlem Heat in 9:47 when Kole pins Lightning after a boot to the ear by Kane
FINAL WORD: That was essentially the kind of tag match you make trainees do after their first month or something.
-Heenan repeats his jokes calling the replay to equal effect before Gene is outside Flair’s dressing room. Vader’s is down the hall and there is significant police presence. That phrase would make Shaq and Chuck laugh. Are we going to pivot to an Inside the NBA reference challenge? Let’s see what happens.
-God, WCW music was so bad in how stock it was. Speaking of bad and stock, the fucking Equalizer walks out. Jungle music follows. Seriously, the song is just some drums with monkey noises. That means it’s Jungle Jim Steele time. Holy shit, how many more of these fucking goons are we going to try? Bobby is trying to get some “toots” to sit on his lap.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: The Equalizer vs Jungle Jim Steele
-Some of the worst 45 seconds of wrestling ever starts this off. There’s no coordination at all. Tony laughs at a “Hair Jordan” line and asks if these are written down. Way to kill the schtick.
-Equalizer is so fucking loud. His leg drop looks like a kid trying not to hurt his dad in the living room. I’ve probably used that joke before, but it holds true.
-A few people try and clap to encourage Steele in a fucking bearhug. There’s a camera over the shoulder of the commentators. Bobby tells another joke and Tony breaks the fourth wall by turning around. That’s the best part of the match.
-There’s our first Hulk Hogan reference! Bobby mentions him shooting Thunder in Paradise at Disney and being asked who would win the main event. It starts…Meanwhile, kill me because this has the heat of a witch’s tit in an igloo.
-Jim starts a slight comeback and Hulk’s future biggest fan is an LVP for trying to remember how to duck clotheslines and hit the ropes before this shitty match is ended by a shitty finish.
WINNER: Jungle Jim Steele in 6:31 with the Steele Trap Thesz Press
FINAL WORD: I would rather watch Jungle Boy wrestle a box of Equal for 65 hours.
-Mean Gene pimps the WCW Hotline with Gordon Solie and Larry Zbyszko calling commentary and the poll question about Garvin’s match. Bockwinkel is back with Steamboat. Flair has promised him a future title match and he’s had to go through red tape to get this shot. What red tape?!?! Boy, nobody good is firing on the right cylinder so far. Both promos are piss poor, but Gene holds it together.
-GMC is still the announcer as Dave Penzer’s era is looming. He introduces DDP still rocking the motorcycle theme. Not Kimberly is his Diamond Doll. The start of this show is ROUGH. It’s been over two years since we’ve seen him in action on PPV. Since his return, he’s had a fishbowl gimmick and wrestled Z-Man. How does he look older here than he does now? Terry Taylor is his opponent and he’s a face with a ring robe. That must be from back when he had a chance.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: Diamond Dallas Page w/Diamond Doll vs Terry Taylor
-DDP throws the Doll at Taylor at the bell, but it gets answered with a good superkick and interesting suplex. Apparently, Page attacked Terry previously with a tackle box and fishing pole.
-More arm work and more Brain ogling women and calling them “toots.” They run a fish out of water spot, but the focus is still on Bobby winking and calling over the Doll.
-Page grounds Taylor with stiff shots. I like they are working snug. It makes things watchable at least.
-Some two counts before a heel Cobra Clutch. It’s a different rest hold. Dallas is always trying.
-Heenan claims Liz Taylor is the former Red Rooster’s aunt and Schiavone is terrible at helping put over these jokes. Bobby is doing his thing, but it just isn’t the same. Ventura was better because Tony liked him.
-Terry gets a hope spot dropkick, but is grounded again soon after. Someone in the crowd has an air horn.
-AMAZING right hand by DDP that knocks Taylor down and gets a great reaction from the crowd. How many times do you think they ran this full match at the Power Plant?
-One miss is all a veteran needs to win as DDP misses an attack in the corner.
WINNER: Terry Taylor in 11:47 with a roll up
FINAL WORD: It’s not hard to be the best match on this card so far, but that’s not a complete indictment of that match.
-Gene talks with German announcer Olivier Muffler. He gets some catcalls before speaking a really long sentence in German. If he mattered, he might be an LVP threat. He blabbers and doesn’t know how to put words together in an interesting way. He asks a question about Flair and Gene no sells it. Tony asks Bobby if he knows any German and he just yells in his face angrily. Ok, that’s funny. A quick Spring Stampede commercial airs that Heenan doesn’t acknowledge. Instead, he brings the Doll up again.
-Badd comes back out to try this again. Garvin pushes Hayes out in white Freebird-like gear. I just realized this is a Halloween Havoc 1991 rematch. This is starting to feel like a Halloween Havoc 1991 show. This different Freebird song is almost a jam.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: Johnny B Badd vs Jimmy Garvin w/Michael Hayes
-Fuck, those boots are high on Garvin. He also has a homely tattoo of a woman on his arm now. He may have always had it and I never noticed.
-Hayes is strangely continuing his MVP run by yelling advice and complaining about not wrestling. “Do it for your crippled brother!”
-This is another match of long mat wrestling with heel posturing in between added. Just keep the camera on Hayes improvising.
-So far, this has been a very easy show to cut back the notes on. It may need read like it, but trust me. A boot in the corner turns the tide for the heel. Hayes and Brain have a conversation from across the ring. Now that’s good.
-Badd fires up three times, blocks the DDT and manages a headscissors that seemed to totally confuse Garvin. An uppercut knocks him down and then he puts the finishing touches on.
WINNER: Johnny B Badd in 10:47 with a top rope sunset flip
-Badd goes after Hayes post-match, but Garvin blindsides him with a knee to the back. Back in the ring, we get a cowboy boot beatdown and the first ever STUNNER in PPV history. It’s called the 911 by the Birds. I’m going to track every Stunner recipient and I can’t believe Johnny B Badd is the first from Jimmy Garvin
FINAL WORD: A totally passable match that the crowd and Michael Hayes helped. The oddness continues.
-Gene is outside the dressing rooms again and claims that Vader is trying to take Flair out before the match. There’s commotion from Vader’s room and Gene peeks in. Vader throws a chair at the door and says “NO QUESTIONS!” He’s so baller.
-Twangy music for AA and a great ovation to boot. I want that Enforcer jacket he’s wearing. Lord Steven Regal enters with Sir William and a taped thigh. Michael Buffer handles the introductions and it’s almost like he’s Regal’s personal announcer. Arn’s impressive credentials are listed. Tony mentions that the time limit was extended to 30 minutes. The TV Title design is so simple but nice.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: TV TITLE MATCH- Arn Anderson vs Lord Steven Regal w/Sir William (Champ)
-A handshake by Arn is refused by the champ and I forgot that Arn is considered Flair’s cousin in kayfabe.
-They work the ear to start. No bullshit. Bobby says this show has been as good as finding out your aunt is sick and you are in the will. Hilarious. He also puts over the Thundercage well, so he’s off the LVP list. Lots of heel stalling and grappling five minutes in.
-Heenan calling out the holds Regal is using sure is something. He’s actually working! A wide shot shows how big and unnecessary that cage is.
-The crowd is respectfully quiet. Arn recognizes it and slams Regal’s arm into the post to wake them up. The floor is still covered in Badd’s confetti. William shows Steven his pocket watch to indicate that they are aiming for a draw. Great detail with 20 minutes to go.
-15 minutes left at 12:35. Never change, WCW. They are still tussling on the mat. Tony tries to put bunny ears behind Bobby in another behind the table shot they seem to love.
-His Lordship is so sweaty. He checks the watch again and sells the pain of the match very well. William gets a jab to Anderson’s throat with the umbrella behind the ref’s back.
-STIFF headbutt with a forearm to match by the champ while Bobby asks his manager for the accurate time after GMC’s announcement. Everything but the actual action is still two minutes too fast.
-A version of the Regal Stretch and some facial grinding keeps AA down. He gets up and tries the Figure Four to pop the crowd, but it’s blocked.
-Another umbrella jab causes a woman in the crowd to call William a “real son of a bitch!” It looks like Arn fell in an office that had a hole punch spill everywhere.
-Five minutes are left and the crowd groans and starts a “USA” chant. Regal keeps locking on holds.
-Anderson punches Regal down and gets some two counts. More leverage pins with two minutes remaining. A spin out of a Boston Crab gets the face two more near falls.
-Classic spinebuster by the Enforcer, but he can’t capitalize with a pin. William holds his charge and Arn tries a sunset flip as the countdown begins, but that damn umbrella turns the tide again.
WINNER: Lord Steven Regal in 27:33 (29:54 announced time) to retain the title with a sitting press holding Sir William’s umbrella for leverage.
FINAL WORD: The crowd was just as deflated as I was watching at home. I love both men, but this did nothing for me considering its length.
-Tony compliments Arn as he leaves while Brain preens in the camera. A lady sweeps behind them and it annoys Tony. A Clash replay shows Cactus Jack and Maxx Payne defeating the Nasty Boys. A pretty lady walks by and Heenan is too much of a hornball. He mentions nobody in the next match knows how to wrestle and that flusters Tony too much. The faces (somehow) enter as Donald Trump is namedropped, putting Bobby back on the LVP list. The champs enter without Missy Hyatt, but with an acoustic guitar to taunt Payne. Buffer handles the intros and calls Jack and Maxx the “oddest team in WCW history.” Give it a few years. He says Knobbs and Sags are wearing “black and splash” and that just sounds cool. The Boys have Jared Allen’s haircut before he basically kills Johnny Knoxville (and we’ve settled on our reference challenge subject).
MATCH NUMBER SIX: WCW TAG TITLE MATCH- Cactus Jack and Maxx Payne vs The Nasty Boys (Champs)
-I just waited way too long to get a bad Mayo Clinic line about Missy’s gums. Lots of heel stalling again before a HUGE German suplex by Payne on Knobbs’ neck is the first move of the match. LET’S GO!
-Sags eats a T-Bone and it’s not raw meat for once. Payne is another perennial LVP threat with MVP tendencies so far. He’s making Taz look like Duane Gill.
-Jack is all fired up on offense, too. The Nasties continue to high tail.
-A High/Low from behind finally grounds Maxx and a low blow headbutt gets a big moan from everyone.
-Knobbs takes a big fall missing a second rope senton and Cactus hot tags all over the place. Of course, that leads to him taking a hip check from the apron to the EXPOSED concrete complete with a sickening crack. Heenan can’t even make a joke. That’s still somehow the dumbest thing Foley does before he’s then thrown from the back of the head into the railing. That’s blood he’s coughing up.
-That bump is so bad that it gets an inset replay. I think that’s the first one in PPV history? Knobbs applies a Boston Crab and the mat has spit up blood on it now. Yucky.
-Payne drags Cactus closer for a tag instead of hitting Knobbs. The ref still misses the tag, but Jack hits a sweet double DDT to tag anyway.
-CHRIST ALMIGHTY Maxx separates Knobbs’ shoulder on an overhead belly-to-belly that is just wonderfully botched.
-Paynekiller locked on, but Sags gets the guitar that we all knew was going to be used. It’s gimmicked, but the shot was so fucking stiff that I’m still counting it as an UNPROTECTED occurrence.
WINNERS: Cactus Jack and Maxx Payne at 12:29 by DQ
FINAL WORD: Big, sloppy men slapping tits! I loved that way too much.
-After a replay of Knobbs’ horrific bump, Gene promotes the hotline again before interview Flair and Steamboat. Hogan is mentioned as watching from home, but the Nature Boy is focused on Vader. I hate to consider this bizarro world, but Ricky Steamboat is an LVP with another bad promo. Arn interrupts and encourages his fake cousin.
-Pyro for the Thundercage being lowered and the theme for the cage has more energy that the competition’s future tone for the same thing. Heenan is impressed and lies through his teeth about wondering where he’s been all his life. A totally random song plays for the heel team. Rick Rude isn’t wearing the Big Gold Belt, Steve Austin isn’t wearing the US Title and Paul Orndorff isn’t wearing a title because he’s not a champ. He does get the most heat of the three. The babyface team enters. Sting gets the most shrieks, Dustin Rhodes is just happy to be there and it’s sad to see Brian Pillman as a good guy again.
MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: THUNDERCAGE MATCH- Rick Rude, Steve Austin and Paul Orndorff w/Col. Parker vs Sting, Dustin Rhodes and Brian Pillman
-Tony talks about Parker wearing a chicken costume after losing a match to Pillman. There are still tags for this match, so it’ll be lame. Sting hip swivels at Rude and that makes him replace Paul to start.
-HUGE elevation and bumping by Rude as the people love Sting. Schiavone explains how stupid the cage is because you need to be outside the ring to use it.
-Odd moment where Austin fakes a leg injury and tries a cheap roll up anyway. He ends up getting whipped into the cage twice and takes some gunshot sounding chops from Brian.
-Pillman is tricked into being catapulted into the cage to give the heels the advantage. He gets opened up a little bit. Dustin is probably jealous. The ref admonishes the heels as Tony mentions the bout being no DQ. Cool.
-Gnarly looking belly-to-back by Orndorff on Pillman that folds him up. He’s probably going to ask if Butterbean’s okay (and the reference challenge is complete).
-Brian impressively catches Austin in mid-air from the second rope with a dropkick right in the face before Sting hot tags in and takes all three heels out. Dustin has done NOTHING. Does that constitute being an LVP? Right on cue, he tags in with fire and some Dusty schtick on a bloody Paul.
-Rude crotches the Natural high up on the top rope by blocking a bulldog. Just as I was about to compliment the pace, Rude applies a bearhug.
-Austin is dropkicked off the apron and catches his foot on the cage and hangs from it. That’s an amazing bump. No wonder he retired early. Nevertheless, MVP. Pillman is back in and double dropkicks the other two heels while beating up his former partner.
-All six men are in the ring until Sting handles Rude and Orndorff and gives Pillman a boost.
WINNERS: Brian Pillman, Sting and Dustin Rhodes in 14:37 when Pillman pins Steve Austin with a gorilla press slam from Sting onto Austin.
FINAL WORD: That was a lot of fun. It felt like an important house show match. I had my doubts, but it worked.
-After the bell, the brawl continues and Rude closes the door in Sting’s face and nails the Rude Awakening on the floor. The faces check on their friend while his theme plays in victory.
-Heenan sets the stage for the main event, but makes too many jokes. Fuck, he’s getting close to LVP again. Another Clash recap and Vader superplexes Flair who screams in bloody murder and gets carried out.
-Bockwinkel holds a press conference and can’t come up with words to postpone the title match. He’s actually the LVP. Race and Vader attacks Steamboat later on. Flair calls in and insists on having the match. He’ll pay Vader’s fines for him. No wonder he’s broke! Nick reads a piece of paper about notarized doctor notes. He is woefully miscast. Real riveting TV about medical records here. Not even Ric Flair on the phone can save this.
-Back live and Buffer handles the announcements. HOLLA if…sigh, nope, it’s still just The Boss trying to get away with his usual shit in black. The crowd surprisingly doesn’t care about him that much. Vader enters in his coat and an odd singlet covering more of his top up. Buffer doesn’t wait for both competitors to enter to make his announcements. 2001 and that beautiful butterfly robe means The Man is here. Shout out to WWE Most Wanted Treasures for spending so much time highlighting how important that robe is. Vader has a chair and throws it out when Boss does his nightstick shit. He’s like backwards Indiana Jones. Let’s Get Ready to Rumble and Boss can’t figure the lock out. Harley basically helps him while complaining. The key goes around Boss’ potentially LVP neck.
MATCH NUMBER EIGHT: WCW TITLE THUNDERCAGE MATCH WITH SPECIAL GUEST REF THE BOSS-Vader w/Harley Race vs Ric Flair (Champ)
-Flair opens with an amazing flurry of punches and a clothesline over the top topped off with two UNPROTECTED chair shots to the head. The chair breaks on the second hit.
-Vader’s mask is off and he does Flair’s flip in the corner to the apron! He never ceases to amaze me. A body block and Vader Bomb give the challenger the advantage.
-VADERSAULT but Flair moves and the big man lands as close to his feet as possible. How can he continue to impress like he does? That’s another MVP case. Harley gets some shots in and Vader is really slugging, too. One shot landed right on the nose. That could be deadly.
-Flair gets right up after a punch to choke Vader. These two are great together. Boss finally sees Race’s cheating and warns him.
-Another superplex and it’s a rough landing on the lower back for the champ. He rolls away from some follow up elbow drops. Bobby slips and says “Boss Man”. He tries to cuff Race, but gets attacked by Vader and ends up cuffed himself.
-Harley unlocks the door and Vader throws the nightstick away for some reason. The heels double team as Boss desperately tries to escape. Arn comes out and can’t get it, letting out an audible “shit.” Flair avoids a second rope splash and Race gets hit instead. Steamboat comes out and hits the door with the chair like a goof.
-Three more UNPROTECTED chair shots, two for Race and one for Vader.
-Boss finally breaks the handcuffs and hits Vader in the knee with the nightstick. Race waits to get hit one more time as Flair applies his finish. The bell is called for right away.
WINNER: Ric Flair in 11:32 to retain the title with a Figure Four
FINAL WORD: Nothing will come close to Starrcade and the brevity/bells and whistles hurt it overall, but it’s still very good.
-Heenan is incredulous because Vader didn’t give up. He always makes a good point. Bolt cutters are used to get them out and everyone leaves post haste.
-Vader has the nightstick and hits the cage and guardrail over and over, scaring the commentators. He grabs Tony and I thought we traveled to Kuwait all of a sudden. He finally leaves as Brain makes one last hard sell about Vader not quitting before leaving and Tony signing off. Credits.
THE LAST IMAGE: Tony Schiavone
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: After a whole show of bizarro choices, leave it to Vader to close us out on a high note and a sense of normalcy. In my mind, there’s no question that he’s the greatest big man of all time.
FINAL LVP of PPV: I can’t believe how close Bobby Heenan and Ricky Steamboat came to earning this, but the first non-wrestling appearance of Nick Bockwinkel was Jack Tunney levels of boring and worthless.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Cactus Jack and Maxx Payne vs The Nasty Boys
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Jungle Jim Steele vs The Equalizer
FINAL THOUGHTS: The streak of entertaining SuperBrawls ends at three. Speaking of that number, the final three matches really saved this show from being an all-time clunker. It still clunks, though. Hulk Hogan looms and the specter of 1993 is still around as well despite the actual stars’ best efforts. Read all the crazy MVP and LVPs to know how off the wall this show is in all the wrong ways. MULLET DOESN’T RECOMMEND
NEXT TIME: It’s WrestleMania X. Once again, I think I picked the wrong time to start trying to be brief.