I’ve been blessed with a photographic memory and it really comes in handy when I’m trying to relive moments from my childhood during this project. Sometimes, I close my eyes and I’m immediately taken to the room or the moment that I’m writing about or looking forward to. Today’s PPV is no exception.
I remember pointing at the Stridex logo and mentioning that I’ve seen that product in my sister’s bathroom. Mind you, I was eight when this show first occurred and that feels more like a toddler thing to observe.
I remember the absolute joy of Barry Horowitz as he stood next to Barry Didinsky after his match and discovering that he was getting his own T-shirt. I asked my mom for one and I had just gotten the Jeff Jarrett and Shawn Michaels sets, so I was shot down.
I remember wearing the Shawn Michaels shirt (that I wore to sleep all the time because it was too big to wear in public) as my favorite wrestler walk the aisle to exercise the demons of his most famous loss. I wasn’t as emotional or nervous as Hulk Hogan’s WrestleMania VIII press conference I’ve mentioned before, but I definitely wanted him to win more than any other person besides Shawn Michaels on the planet.
I remember my dad coming over and watching wrestling with me for the first time. It’s a long story, but my stepdad is who I consider my real father and he had just met my mom a few weeks prior. He stopped by and was awesome in pretending to care about what I was into. He made for a great wrestling viewing companion. I miss him.
I remember and I will take advantage for those memories as long as I can. They are good memories. It doesn’t mean it’s going to translate into a good experience now, though.
PAY PER VIEW NUMBER 91: WWF SUMMERSLAM 1995
Written on 11/26/21
THE FIRS THING YOU SEE: The WWF title card and some Mabel hype before a Jackknife compilation. The British Bulldog’s turn is shown before Diesel threatens to torch the kingdom? Bret Hart vs a dentist is previewed and I have some sympathy for our former champ. Kama beats up one of the Undertaker’s creatures while the female companion reaches out. The IC Title match sequel actually gets me excited. Todd Pettengill’s voiceovers are usually on point, but he’s our first LVP because he’s trying a tough guy voice and he squeaks like Tony Chimel saying “superstars.” The classic 90s SummerSlam just goes with the Stridex logo. Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler welcome us and they’re also gravelly for no reason. A “Burger King” chant breaks out and Vince takes it to Dean Douglas backstage. Oh Shane…you thought you had made it. In his home town of Pittsburgh, no less. He looks like Larry Sweeney. RIP.
-The 123 Kid walks to the ring and gets a high five from Vladimir. They are setting an attendance record in the building according to Vince. Hakushi enters sans Shinja. A clip of Barry Horowitz beating him on Action Zone earlier in the weekend thanks to Skip’s errant interference plays. That’s a great way to get me less excited about this match. Not by much though because this match should rule.
MATCH NUMBER ONE: The 123 Kid vs Hakushi
-The meaning of Hakushi’s tattoos is mentioned and Lawler is our first MVP with his bad explanation. Some chain wrestling is ended by Hakushi cheating. He gets cheered for it, but Kid’s moves are equally supported.
-A double kip up gets some respectful clapping. Let’s go, Pittsburgh!
-Vince accidentally says “SummerSlime” and gets mad at himself. Hakushi hits a nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
-A handspring elbow forces Vince to mention the positive reaction the heel is getting. Lots of kicks and a high angle Vader Bomb by the White Angel makes him another MVP.
-SASUKE SPECIAL MOTHER FUCKERS!!! Great reaction and rightfully so.
-A top rope headbutt misses and Kid comes back with a dive of his own and a slingshot leg drop. A frog splash leads to a two count.
-The patented spin kick is tried one time too many.
WINNER: Hakushi at 9:27 with a catching powerbomb
FINAL WORD: Hell yeah. I’d watch these two for the entire three hours.
-Dok Hendrix interviews King Mabel and calls him the future WWF Champ. Once again, Michael Hayes is an overly obnoxious LVP. Mabel won’t unveil his big plan and Dok gets cut off by Vince in a very bad segment.
-It’s time for the PPV debut of Hunter Hearst Helmsley!!! He stares people down in disgust and waves them off. Lawler gets a nose joke in and I’m sure it’s never been forgotten. HHH is undefeated. You know who isn’t? Bob Holly. Why is he as over as he sounds? He has more smiles than a dentist convention. King calls him a “grease monkey.” That sounds offensive.
MATCH NUMBER TWO: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs Bob Holly
-Hunter takes a sweet time taking his entrance gear off. Then, he acts like Steven Regal a little too much in his mannerisms and not wanting to be touched. He just appears to be a chickenshit lower card act. In other words, he doesn’t look like THE guy.
-An out of the corner Stun Gun turns the tide in the heel’s favor. He follows it up with a HARD whip to the buckle. Less importantly, Vince wants to see Lawler in a go kart or bumper car. The heels remain popular with the live crowd.
-The British Bulldog is shown arriving, freshly heel. There’s much conversation by Vince about his action as Helmsley is caught cheating in an abdominal stretch, so he hip tosses Holly over the top.
-Nice DDT and dropkick by Sparky, but he doesn’t capitalize. More moves are strung together, but they can’t end the streak.
-That’s something I’ve never seen him do before: HHH hops up like he’s going to take the back drop, but comes down and executes the first of so many on PPV. I’d track them, but I already have two gimmicks for him.
WINNER: Hunter Hearst Helmsley in 7:11 with the Pedigree
FINAL WORD: Speaking of gimmicks, this match was better than both of these respective characters.
-The Stridex “war on the water” tug-o-war between local firefighters and WWF Superstars is recapped. The wrestlers can’t even put over the cause of the charity. I’d rather watch that battle than the Blu Brothers right now. They look like Jim Henson on a case of beer a day. The Smokin’ Gunns are their opponents and they are already in the ring due to a bad edit.
MATCH NUMBER THREE: The Blu Brothers w/Uncle Zeb vs The Smokin’ Gunns
-Bill starts with who the commentators just name Jacob. Billy gets his ass beat for the first full minute of the match. In other words, BITCHCAKE status earned.
-An early version of the Fameasser is hit; it was more like a traditional Rocker Dropper. It’s lame here still. Bart tags in and still gets beat up. King makes fun of the rodeo scholarship like Bobby Heenan.
-The Gunns really do have solid tag chemistry. The action is fluid and the Harris boys even hit a tight H Bomb on Billy.
-McMahon is obsessed with weights in this match. The crowd boos Billy’s late kickout on a sloppy powerslam. If I knew which Blu that was, he might have an LVP case because he also threw a bad knee drop.
-Bart tags in and gets called a one-man gang before getting destroyed by a big boot. The heels collide and the Gunns hit their finish for a hell of a pop. This crowd rules.
WINNERS: The Smokin’ Gunns in 6:09 with the Sidewinder
FINAL WORD: There were some execution issues, but other stiff action made up for it.
-A Barry Horowitz video package!!! The debuts of Skip and Sunny!!! The legendary win and pop for the first victory!!! Surviving the clock two weeks later!!! THE MATCH GRAPHIC!!!!! Give all of this to me.
-Sunny gets mic time walking to the ring with her man. God, she was my first real crush along with Kimberly the Pink Ranger (how about a reference challenge to the original Power Rangers characters). Then, it’s fucking HAVA NAGILA as an entrance theme! Barry skips to the ring rocking glittery suspenders. Good for him.
MATCH NUMBER FOUR: Skip w/Sunny vs Barry Horowitz
-The underdog makes a beeline to the ring and kicks the shit out of his opponent. This is just two good workers having fun early.
-Barry suplexes Skip from the ring to the floor and the crowd is on fire for this. Sunny tries to throw the towel in and scream in the ring, but Earl Hebner tells her this isn’t boxing.
-Sunny trips Horowitz and Skip takes over. Loud “Barry” chants while the commentators want to see Siskel beat up Ebert?
-Apparently, Horowitz doesn’t have a contract yet? After a couple of near falls, a single clothesline snuffs out the rally.
-Chris Candido is very good in this role. He’s overly cocky, exercising all the time and works his ass off. Here’s an MVP for him.
-Barry lets out a loud “OW” on an eye rake and both men are down off trying a dropkick at the same time.
-Skip picks up Barry on two after a flying headbutt. His piledriver is blocked and Sunny interferes again, crotching Horowitz on the top rope. That sets up a superplex.
-Hakushi comes down and distracts Skip with a springboard over both men. HOLY SHIT, the pop for the three count is like the main event of WrestleMania.
WINNER: Barry Horowitz in 11:22 with a small package
-Another “HOROWITZ WINS” from the commentary table and the sweetheart hugs Earl on the way back. The replay shows Hakushi’s leap again. Sunny into the camera: “how can this keep happening?!?”
FINAL WORD: This is, without sarcasm, one of the most underrated stories and matches up to this point in the diary. It should be studied in wrestling schools.
-The photographic memory of Barry Didinsky selling the Horowitz shirt is edited out and we go straight to Dean Douglas’ classroom to discuss the word “vivify.” He telestrates the finish of the last match. This gimmick is so DOA. He gives the referee an “F” and uses big words. He gives Horowitz the grade of “S” for slacker. That’s not how grades work.
-Todd Pettengill’s earring and hair and attitude are exactly what I’ve been fearing of him this whole time. A WrestleMania X clip is shown before an interview with Shawn Michaels. It’s a great one because he puts over how important the IC Title is to him and how much he’s been bothered by his previous loss. It’s an MVP performance before he’s even stepped in the ring.
-The fun is over because Bertha Faye is in the ring. They’ve made badass Rhonda Singh a loud, obnoxious “ha ha she is fat” character with Harvey Wippleman. Oh right, there’s a women’s champ in the company. It’s the first PPV defense in a year for Alundra Blayze and she gets her name in neon/pyro for an entrance. She blatantly has a new nose, but is still popular. Oh, Bertha broke her nose. Now I feel like a jerk.
MATCH NUMBER FIVE: WOMENS TITLE MATCH- Bertha Faye w/Harvey Wippleman vs Alundra Blayze (Champ)
-The King claims there’s a 90 pound weight difference and Vince asks “on one hoof?” Then, her outfit and buns of “cinnamon” are made fun of. This would be Doudrop in a sad multiverse situation today.
-Several body blocks after some weak bumps. A rough head buster and leg drop make Bertha land on the LVP list.
-Her butt is focused on when missing a second rope attack. She’s nimble enough for a victory roll. Harvey distracts the ref and Alundra gives chase.
-This feels so rushed. It’s just move into move into move into move. Lawler unleashes more fat jokes.
-Is that a botched ending to make this even worse?
WINNER: Bertha Faye in 4:38 to win the title with a sitout powerbomb
-Alundra kicked out right at three (which I always hate). Jim Ross interviews the heels on their way and Harvey doesn’t want Faye to be touched. Bertha actually gets to cut a quick and effective promo.
FINAL WORD: This was a Divas-era match in both quality and length.
-Another abrupt transition to the Undertaker versus Kama story. The creatures were used to help Taker as opposed to his urn. Their wreath was destroyed and the male creature tries to put it back together when he gets attacked. Gorilla Monsoon has finally usurped Jack Tunney as WWF President and makes it a casket match on the previous weekend. Yet another abrupt cut into Kama’s entrance being basically over while he poses in the ring. GONG and the Dead Man enters slowly. Vince does a great job putting over the urn’s importance and the gravity of the entrance. Kama is unafraid and Taker goes right after him as soon as he gets his gear off.
MATCH NUMBER SIX: CASKET MATCH- Kama w/Ted DiBiase vs The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer
-Kama is thrown over the top onto the casket and finally shows fear.
-Old School and Kama is sent into the casket for the first time. King loves the camera inside the casket as the Supreme Fighting Machine escapes.
-Two sit ups in under three minutes. That’s like my personal pace. DiBiase distracts to help Kama get out after a head scissors into the casket.
-This pace slows about as much as Kama’s gut has seemingly expanded.
-Here’s a cool ass moment: Ted puts the boots to Taker and Bearer goes BALLISTIC. He takes his jacket off and tries so bad to get past the refs. It singlehandedly gets the crowd back into it.
-Taker gets suplexed onto the casket and Vince is worried about his neck? A sloppy baseball slide by the heel prior to both men standing on the casket leading to a blocked piledriver via back drop into the ring.
-A powerslam into a cover makes the ref yell at Kama that he’s doing the match wrong. Another sit up and now we are in rest hold territory. Even in a casket match.
-The hold is finally broken by a belly-to-back, but the heel remains on top. Taker starts blocking punches and clotheslines him over the top. Both men are now in the casket with the lid shut. Kama tries to crawl out, but is pulled back in.
-A swinging neckbreaker can’t keep the Dead Man down. The chokeslam brings the crowd to their feet. The Tombstone is called for and hit. Kama tucked his head, so it didn’t look deadly. It was just nice to see it hit to be honest. Rolled and finished with the casket cam showing us the action up close.
WINNER: The Undertaker in 16:26
FINAL WORD: That was too long and redundant, but a crowd pleaser with a couple of nice moments.
-There must have been a lot of commercials edited out for these bad transitions as Vince goes into talking to Lawler about Bret vs Yankem. The two-year recap of the Lawler/Hart story plays once more, but Todd is on this show once more, putting him back in the LVP lead. Some dentist clips are so cheesy and bad. This really highlights everything Kane will go through in his career. Why would anybody go to him in kayfabe as a dentist? I guess this was before the era of Google reviews?
-Isaac Yankem enters the arena with Lawler introducing him. Those prosthetic teeth sure are something. He’s billed from Decatur, IL. YOU GET IT?!?!?! His gross teeth are explained as being an example of what could happen to his patients. Bret is interviewed with Todd, who has SO MANY dentist puns. UGH. I love the way Canadians say the word “throat.” Isaac is called the “tooth fairy” and I hope that wasn’t a gay thing. The Hitman enters with pyro and a big reaction. He’s just like Hogan: given big heels to conquer except he’s not the champ like he wants to be.
MATCH NUMBER SEVEN: Isaac Yankem DDS vs Bret Hart
-It’s all Isaac early until he misses an elbow, but it doesn’t mean much. You can just tell how green Glenn Jacobs is here.
-Bret is barely caught on a slingshot dive. Kane looks lost and worried. LVP.
-That sentiment was barely able to press Bret up for a Stun Gun and his head gets trapped in the ropes. He’s trying as usual.
-Lawler has so many teeth jokes. It’s almost impressive.
-A brief hangman’s neckbreaker gets a reaction from the crowd, but Bret escapes quickly because it looked rough.
-The ref’s counts are being ignored, so Mike Chioda pulls Yankem off Bret by the hair. Vince doesn’t agree with that.
-A shaky top rope leg drop by Yankem onto a hanging Bret. He oddly evades some axe handle attempts, but finally gets grounded by some bad clotheslines.
-Hitman dives through the ropes onto Isaac and hits rapid fire punches that are barely sold despite how good the punches look.
-Typical Bret moves until the Sharpshooter is applied. Jerry leaves the table and helps push the rope towards him to break the hold. The ref admonishes him, but there’s no DQ called. Bret is then sent into the steel steps.
-The resiliency is strong with the face, throwing Yankem off the top and tying his feet together with the cable cords. He goes after King and punches him on the floor. A top rope axe handle by DDS breaks it up.
-Kane’s head is slammed into the bottom rope on an attack. Jerry trips and ties up Bret in the ropes by the end. The heels hang him to finally cause the bell to ring.
WINNER: Bret Hart in 16:07 by DQ
-The refs and officials come out trying to help stop the attack. Bret is finally freed and the heels evilly leave.
FINAL WORD: Another Bret Hart match in 1995 that I’d rather forget that is no fault of his own.
-Dok interviews Razor Ramon backstage and he claims history will repeat himself. Bret is helped past him and Razor doesn’t give a fuck. He scoffs at HBK being called the Evel Knievel of WWF and says he will lead this dance. He’s followed out immediately for his entrance in a rare case of good camera work and direction. He throws up a number four because he’s going for the record in IC Title reigns.
-The shadow of HBK standing behind the entrance glass is so iconic just like him turning the ladder and climbing it to taunt and pump up the crowd. He’s just the best. I’m impossibly compromised, but I think everyone would say the same thing here in 1995. A crazy looking contraption with all kinds of hooks lowers to hold the belt. Dok joins Vince and he’s immediately better at commentary than his backstage shit. Shawn complains about the title being hung up wrong, so it’s lowered back down so he can face it the right way without the ref’s stupid help. What a tremendous prick.
MATCH NUMBER EIGHT: IC TITLE LADDER MATCH- Razor Ramon vs Shawn Michaels (Champ)
-An incredibly fast first sequence ends with Sweet Chin Music being avoided and a finger being wagged.
-The Razor’s Edge is also quickly blocked. Shawn’s blue tights are amazing, almost as much as the whip over the top into the rail he just took.
-Shawn lets out an audible “shit” before being suplexed onto the floor with his ankle clipping the rail. Jesus, take your MVP.
-Both finishers are avoided again before a double clothesline double down. Less than five minutes have passed.
-A second rope fallaway slam is a neat sight. Dok mentions Sid being the big winner because he’ll face the winner on Raw on 9/11. Never forget. Eh, forget. Sid is shown watching as Razor avoids the baseball slide into the ladder and nails an amazing punch.
-A full moon again and that same knee is WRECKED getting caught in the rungs on a fall. He gets stomped while trapped. The double feature shows the mastery of Shawn’s fall actually being pretty safe.
-Razor focuses on the legs and doesn’t get fazed when he’s kicked into the ladder set in the corner. He viciously slams the knee into the ladder into that same position in the corner.
-I love that Razor just lets a standing ladder fall on HBK’s prone leg and shrugs it off. He starts to climb, but gets axe handled from the top rope to knock him down.
-Nice belly-to-back off the ladder by the champ. That’s only the second move after Razor’s suplex in the first one.
-Ramon is much less graceful on a spill into the ladder in the corner. He sure does get air off the bounce.
-Moonsault off the ladder onto a standing Ramon. There are a few boo birds for him. Back up to the top, he MISSES the ladder splash this time. It’s not as iconic, but just as good because the ladder looks taller.
-Both climb up and Dok is funny going back and forth in his support. Both fall off and crotch themselves. The Bad Guy’s fall is rougher. He’s just not as good of an athlete.
-HBK goes for an attack and misses, so he crashes with the ladder on the floor. Razor gets another ladder and stops Shawn from climbing by hitting the Edge.
-After a long double down, both climb up a ladder. Sweet Chin Music is hit from the elevated position and he reaches for the belt, but it’s too far and he misses grabbing it. Another Edge is blocked via back drop over the top rope.
-HBK climbs back up and pulls on the title, but it bounces and he falls, PISSED BEYOND BELIEF. One more try and unsnapping works much better.
WINNER: Shawn Michaels in 25:05
-After the bell, Razor is livid and snatches the title out of Shawn’s hands. He pushes the ref out of the way and hands the belt to the champ himself and shakes his hand. Good moment. Pyro goes off. I should turn this off.
FINAL WORD: I’ll always be partial to this match more than the original because it had a better story told within it, the ideas were better, it was more brutal and my boy won. Amazing overall.
-Dean Douglas in glasses lamer than Billy’s attending Angel Grove High (one more to go) defines the word “bad.” How appropriate. He goes hard on Ramon and gets interrupted by said Bad Guy. He tries to blindside him and gets ANNIHILATED with a punch. A chalkboard screech wraps us up for the beginning of the end of Shane’s WWF run.
-Dok never liked teachers and I’ve never like King Mabel. He’s carried out by some poor jobbers and their poor faces in the close-up struggling to hold this man is wild. Backstage, Todd interviews Diesel. He claims Big Daddy Cool is coming out and rips out a Pulp Fiction with a medieval line. He walks to the ring with a great reaction. The combatants scream at one another and Vince lies about the WWF running very well on “Diesel power.”
MATCH NUMBER NINE: WWF TITLE MATCH- King Mabel w/Sir Mo vs Diesel (Champ)
-Mabel yells about being the first black champion a few times. Come on, don’t yell that shit; you’re a heel! Besides, Nash already beat you to that distinction. To be honest, Kevin Nash is blacker than Zack (and the reference challenge is done).
-Great explosiveness and bumping by Diesel. What is happening to me? Unfortunately, his offense has to be limited to punches and elbow because King is so big.
-Diesel’s dive gets a little bit odder this month because Mabel is waiting to catch him. The champ takes a back bump into the ring post off the reversal.
-The challenger’s selling sucks so bad. His flailing after a big boot is comical.
-That side slam needs wok and so does that infamous KILLER BUTT DROP. You can actually hear Diesel fucking PISSED and yelling at Mabel while in total agony. I don’t blame him for not feeding for the camel clutch attempt.
-After a compromised side headlock, the ref takes a ridiculous bump from Mabel blatantly running into him while hitting the ropes. Mo jumps in right away and double teams Diesel. Lex Luger runs out and gets punched and clotheslined out of the ring by Diesel immediately. LOL. SummerSlam is so unkind to him.
-After a leg drop on the floor, Lex rids the ringside area of Mo. That’s a WWF wrap on him because he’ll be on Nitro next week. Mabel hits a belly-to-belly in the ring, but Diesel kicks out.
-A second rope splash is missed and Diesel has to resort to essentially Lawrence Taylor’s playbook to get the win.
WINNER: Diesel in 9:15 with a second rope clothesline
FINAL WORD: Well, that’s mercifully over and I mean that in about three different ways. That’s almost the worst SummerSlam main event ever (thanks, Taker vs Taker).
-Nash has a pretty tepid celebration because his back is probably killing him. He gets on the second rope and yells in sort of an iconic image while pyro goes off above him. There’s no official sign off as the show just ends.
THE LAST IMAGE: Diesel
THE WRAP UP
FINAL MVP of PPV: It’s just not fair anymore. Shawn Michaels is built to shine and he doesn’t disappoint. His promo game is even strong and he gets the storytelling and characters aspect of the business so well. He’s beyond the athlete everyone credits him as.
FINAL LVP of PPV: There should be some solace in the fact that Isaac Yankem is going to get better, but he did himself no favors in the long term by looking as bad as he did against Bret Hart no less.
MY FAVORITE MATCH: Shawn Michaels vs Razor Ramon
MY LEAST FAVORITE MATCH: Bertha Faye vs Alundra Blayze
FINAL THOUGHTS: This show has a negative reputation that hinges on its main event and being a product of the era, but it’s actually a solid ass show. The crowd deserves a ton of credit because they were hot for everything. Most of the matches were good or surprising. As the second biggest show of the year, it didn’t really live up to that hype. But, SummerSlam hasn’t really done that so far anyway. So, I’m defying the norm here and saying “hell yeah” to this show. My childhood memories win for once. MULLET RECOMMENDS
NEXT TIME: While we are on the subject of memories, I’ll watch a show that has burned itself into the minds of many for being the coming out party of one of the most notorious factions ever. It’s Fall Brawl 1995 AKA The Dungeon of Doom’s Wild Ride.