This episode of Raw is easily the most cartoonish yet. Nearly every wrestler is completely over the top, but for some reason the matches are actually pretty decent. If that’s what it takes to make a good show, then let’s do it. Give me all the Papa Shangos you got.
First up is a tag team match. Fighting on the side of bumbling evil-doers everywhere are Damien Demento and Repo Man. And on the side of truth, justice, and the American(?) way are the Bushwhackers. Not sure if these guys are Southern, Australian, or something else but boy are they goofy. These look like they might collectively have one whole set of teeth and their gimmick is walking in an exaggerated manner and licking people’s faces. They seem to be super over with the crowd though so I guess I’ll take it. I won’t deny, these guys are inexplicably fun. After their win, they stomp around the ring and give the ref a little something extra.
The Bushwhackers have a very refined palette.
Up next, Tatanka goes toe to toe with Reno Riggins who is dressed like a Miami coke dealer at a pool party. Reno actually puts on a good show and gives Tatanka a run for his money before finally getting pinned. I wonder how the writing team decides which matches will have the main guys squash their opponent and which matches will actually be interesting.
Y'all tryna get this party started or what?!
Following that rousing match we get Money Inc. VS Jeff Armstrong and Scott Rich. You can just tell this is going to end with a Money Inc. win because nobody bothered to give a name to the opposing tag team. Also at this point in the program, Rob Bartlett has completely checked out to the point where he’s literally channel surfing on his monitor instead of watching the match. I don’t even blame him though since the most interesting thing about this match are the haircuts.
Business in the front, tire fire in the back.
Last and certainly least, we get my nightmare matchup: Kamala VS Doink the Clown. This one does have an interesting finish though. When Doink arrives at ringside, he places a box covered with wrapping paper in his corner. As the fight goes on, it eventually spills out onto the floor. As Kamala chases Doink around the ring, Doink grabs the package and quickly spins around to give it to Kamala. As Kamala happily tries to figure out what’s inside it, Doink slips back into the ring. Kamala eventually gets the package open only to discover that there’s nothing in it at all as the ref reaches the 10 count giving Doink the win. What a devious little monster.
Worst. Birthday. Ever.
Other Observations
- On a more somber note, in the middle of the program we got a nice tribute to Andre the Giant. Now that the production team has had a few weeks to whip something up, they’re able to give Andre a proper memorial montage with music and everything. It’s sad that even though this journey is just beginning for me, there’s already people fading away that I won’t get to see wrestle. It’s interesting how wrestling is this ongoing soap opera that started decades before I was born and may continue decades after I’m gone.
Andre the Giant: May 19, 1946 - January 27, 1993