Episode 55 - March 21, 1994: Hart Beats

Fresh off his Wrestlemania victory over Crush, Macho Man Randy Savage is on hand this week at the announce table. Speaking of Wrestlemania, let’s quickly go over some highlights.

 Randy remembering the beating he gave Crush.

Randy remembering the beating he gave Crush.

The first match of the night was Owen Hart VS his brother Bret Hart. It was a hard fought battle by both men, but it was Owen Hart who came out victorious. Apparently though, the winner didn’t matter as Bret was guaranteed his match against either Yokozuna or Lex Luger. And in that match, with Mr. Perfect as special guest referee (even though he’s still part of the company despite never wrestling anymore), Yokozuna came out on top. Sorry Lex. You’ll get ‘em next time, slugger. Before Bret would face the champ though, Shawn Michaels fought Razor Ramon in the very first ladder match on WWF to determine who would be the Intercontinental Champion. The ladder, of which there was only one, looked like they had just bought it from Home Depot. It looked like something you would use to put up Christmas lights. After nearly breaking the ladder and each other in half, it was Razor Ramon who came out on top. Finally the match of the night between Yokozuna and Bret Hart, with guest referee Rowdy Roddy Piper. It would be Bret Hart emerging victorious, avenging himself from Wrestlemania IX. Bret and the rest of the locker room seem pretty happy with the outcome, but I can’t say the same for Owen who still manages to remain in his brother’s shadow despite besting him earlier in the night.

 Tough break for the other Hart. Ha ha get it? Hart break? I'll show myself out now.

Tough break for the other Hart. Ha ha get it? Hart break? I'll show myself out now.

Now how do you follow up all these amazing matches on the next episode of Raw? Why, by having the Quebecers fight the Bushwhackers with no titles on the line! It’s a strange choice, but I do think the Bushwhackers are hilarious so I’m willing to deal. Besides licking everyone’s faces, Butch uses Luke’s head like a battering ram to great effect. Their hardheadedness isn’t enough to get the win though as the Quebecers end up victorious. Before they can do too much celebrating, Captain Lou Albano approaches them and asks if they would accept a challenge from any team he can put together and if they would also put the Tag Team title on the line. They readily agree and Captain Lou disappears. What? Why is Captain Lou still around? Nobody talks about him and nobody is filling us in on what is going on. He shows up out of nowhere and vanishes just as quickly.

After that, IRS has a really stupid vignette about paying taxes. The tax deadline is right around the corner, so I guess this was the best excuse they were going to get to do something with him. Boy, I really hope he doesn’t have a new one of these every week through mid-April.

 The segment is exactly as boring as it looks.

The segment is exactly as boring as it looks.

The last match of the night features “Double J” Jeff Jarrett against the “Birdman”, Koko B. Ware. Koko puts up a good fight, but Jeff Jarrett hits him with a flying DDT and it’s all over. Then for some reason, Double J gets in Randy Savage’s grill, which leads to the Macho Man throwing his drink in Jeff Jarrett’s face. Old Double J doesn’t take too kindly to that and gets back in the ring, indicating that Savage should follow to settle this like men. Macho Man is all too happy to oblige and they start wrestling. Soon though Koko jumps back in as well and the two of them throw Jarrett out of the ring, which is where he belongs.

The show ends with a commercial for “WWF Greetings On Call”, a service where for just $9.95 you can call your favorite wrestler and have them deliver a personalized message to you or anyone else. Boy, Vince sure does love his phone schemes!

 Wait a sec, a special friendship call? That sounds awesome! I wonder if the number still works...

Wait a sec, a special friendship call? That sounds awesome! I wonder if the number still works...