Episode 53 - February 28, 1994: Apologies to Tonya Harding?

Our guest announcer tonight is Harvey Wippleman, manager of Giant Gonzalez, Adam Bomb, and Kwang. Apparently he’s got a knack for managing wrestlers that seem cool at first and then quickly lose their luster. Maybe he’s cursed. Thank god he never got his hands on the Undertaker. Well, not god. Probably the devil, really. Thank the devil.

 Tonight the role of Harvey Wippleman will be played by the brother of Napoleon Dynamite.

Tonight the role of Harvey Wippleman will be played by the brother of Napoleon Dynamite.

The first match of the night is a big one because it’s Macho Man Randy Savage VS Yokozuna. If Macho Man can beat Yokozuna, not only will it throw a wrench into Wrestlemania X, it would make him a three time Heavyweight Champion. The match is fairly back and forth but Randy Savage tends to retain the upper hand. Seeing this, Jim Cornette distracts the ref long enough for Mr. Fuji to toss the salt bucket to Yokozuna so he can smash it over Macho Man’s head. Savage sees it coming though and blocks the attack, snatches the bucket out of Yokozuna’s hands, and smashes it over his head. The crowd’s going nuts as Savage makes the cover, but Yokozuna manages to get his shoulder up. Randy can sense his opponent’s strength fading though so he goes to the top rope and hits the elbow drop to end it. But just as he’s about to get the three count and the win, Crush jumps in and throws Savage off Yokozuna. As they begin to fight, Bret Hart runs in to help but it’s not enough until Lex Luger shows up too. He throws Yokozuna out of the ring and then he and Bret Hart deliver a double clothesline to Crush. It’s a shame that Macho Man wasn’t able to win the title, but it is cool to see Lex and Bret work together only a few weeks before they may be squaring off against each other at Wrestlemania.

 Come on, Vince. Just pick one of them and give the belt to that guy. It's not hard.

Come on, Vince. Just pick one of them and give the belt to that guy. It's not hard.

After that, Bam Bam fights Mike Khoury, Earthquake fights a white guy named the Black Phantom, and Todd Pettengill makes a joke that he’s super pleased with but really he should just be fired for being a huge dweeb.

I bet he wrote this joke himself, too.

Following this, Harvey Wippleman takes a break from announcing to accompany his man Kwang to the ring to fight John Crystal. Kwang should only be on long enough to look menacing, spit that cool green mist, and then leave. Unfortunately they’re going to keep making him wrestle. It’s too bad he’ll probably never get a personality.

The show ends with an impromptu interview with Shawn Michaels in his dressing room. Unlike Todd Pettengill though, HBK is actually funny.

Shawn Michaels: undisputed Intercontinental Joke Champion