Episode 33 - September 26, 1993: The Heartbreak Kid Takes a Break

We start this one off with some shocking news delivered by the president of the WWF himself, Jack Tunney. Shawn Michaels has been suspended and therefore the Intercontinental title is now up for grabs. Jack Tunney doesn’t mention that Michaels is suspended because he tested positive for steroids though. Instead he just moves right on to the next piece of business: in order to determine who gets the IC title, there will be a 20 man over-the-top-rope Battle Royal scheduled for next week’s show. The final two competitors left in the ring will meet the following week with the winner of that match becoming the new Intercontinental champion. It’s a shame that HBK is out of the picture for now, but at least they’re giving us a good show to make up for it.

 Jack Tunney: President of the United States of Canada

Jack Tunney: President of the United States of Canada

But for tonight, let’s just waste a quarter of the episode on a Tatanka/Rick Martel match. Seriously it is such a long and tedious match. And after everything, it ends with both men being counted out. What was the point of any of that? Does Rick Martel have beef with Tatanka? Has Rick Martel even been on more than two episodes so far? Seriously who was supposed to care about this match? I should also point out that this is the second Tatanka match in a row that’s ended with a double count out. This is only adding fuel to my “Tatanka is boring” fire.

We then move on to a match between Paul Van Dale and “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka, who at this point is a well-known and well-respected wrestler who is making his first appearance on Raw. You’d think they would hype it up a little or give him some sort of mic time beforehand, but they just go right into the match. To add insult to injury, the announcers immediately just call up Crush on the phone to talk to him about the upcoming Battle Royal. I have no idea why they’re not talking about how cool it is to have Jimmy Snuka in the ring and giving actual play-by-play. The phone call might be forgivable if Crush would decide to let us all in on why he’s upset with Randy Savage, but no dice. This is a pretty lame angle for a pretty lame wrestler, but if it ends with him getting in the ring with Macho Man, I’ll take it.

 "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka defeats a zombie just in the nick of time.

"Superfly" Jimmy Snuka defeats a zombie just in the nick of time.

After Jimmy Snuka hits the Superfly Splash for the win, we move on to an interview between Vince and IRS. For some reason, Vince addresses him several times at the beginning as “Mr. Rotundo”. I guess Vince forgot that this guy is supposed to be named Irwin R Schyster. And anyway his real name is Rotunda, not Rotundo. Jeez Vince, get it together.

 The face of a man whose partner never learned their lines.

The face of a man whose partner never learned their lines.

The last match of the night is the rematch we were promised between the Quebecers and the Steiner Brothers. Oh wait, just kidding it’s the Quebecers VS Barry Horowitz & the 1-2-3 Kid. What the heck is happening? This storyline is rapidly falling apart. Our consolation prize is getting a 1-2-3 Kid match though, which ain’t bad. About halfway through the match, the Kid launches Jacques out of the ring and he gets knocked out. Johnny Polo tries to revive him by dumping water on his face which doesn’t seem to help. Eventually two refs come out with a stretcher to cart him off. Despite this, the decision is made that Pierre must finish this tag-team match by himself. You’d think that Barry Horowitz and the 1-2-3 Kid would have it in the bag right? Well you’d be wrong and you would hate the outcome of this match too. Bring back the Steiner Brothers!