Episode 27 - July 26, 1993: Hart Attack

Our first match of the night is Bam Bam Bigelow VS Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Bam Bam was the runner up to Bret Hart for the title of King of the Ring, so this is a bit of a grudge match for him. As always, Bam Bam is accompanied by Luna Vachon. Not to be left out, Bret’s parents are in attendance tonight. Helen Hart looks like a very pleasant woman who is just happy to be getting to hang out with her son. Stu Hart looks like he’s never had less fun. As the match progresses, Bret gets the upper hand and begins to put Bam Bam into a Sharpshooter, but he’s distracted when Jerry Lawler shows up in the balcony seats next to Bret’s parents and begins shouting down at him and roasting his parents. Sweet little Helen Hart tells Lawler, “Why don’t you just wrestle and keep your mouth closed?” Good for you, Helen! It all becomes too much for Bret, who leaves the ring to confront Lawler, but he’s already split by the time he gets to the balcony. You’ll get that loudmouth next time, buddy.

 If you watch this long enough, eventually Bret breaks out.

If you watch this long enough, eventually Bret breaks out.

Afterwards, we have Mr. Hughes VS Ross Greenberg. Just like his last match, somebody comes up and leaves a funeral wreath at ringside for Mr. Hughes. What’s the point? We already had this exact same thing happen two episodes ago! Even the writers can’t be bothered to make Mr. Hughes look good.

Speaking of looking good, we’re shown a video of a soon to be debuting wrestler named Ludvig Borga from Helsinki, Finland. I’m getting the impression that he may be a heel, but I wonder if it will tie into the fact that he’s a foreigner. As far as I know, there’s never been any bad blood between America and Finland. It kind of makes sense to have bad guys from the USSR, Iran, and Japan, but what has Finland ever done to us? Sold us bad herring? Hopefully they just let this guy be a normal heel.

 If only there was some way to tell that he was from Finland...

If only there was some way to tell that he was from Finland...

After that is a pre-taped interview between Lex Luger and Vince McMahon. Lex is just so overwhelmingly boring it’s unreal. He has none of the dynamism of Hogan. I get the impression that he’s sincerely just trying to be a good role model for kids. That’s noble or whatever, but that doesn’t stop it from being super lame.

 Even Vince is falling asleep.

Even Vince is falling asleep.

The final match of the night is Doink VS Phil Apollo. After coming off such huge matches with Jannetty, you might wonder why this was the next booking. The reasoning becomes clear once Doink trounces Apollo and then uses the remaining time to address Randy Savage directly. Doink has an ax to grind with the Macho Man for interfering with his last match and thereby costing him the win. Doink insults Savage and challenges him to a match which the Macho Man is only too happy to accept. Are we going to see Randy Savage come out of retirement and start wrestling again? I sure hope so because so far he’s only wrestled against Repo Man and that is just unacceptable.

 It is weird though that Doink let the Macho Man borrow one of his outfits.

It is weird though that Doink let the Macho Man borrow one of his outfits.