Episode 24 - July 5, 1993: Kid-dependence Day

It’s the day after the Stars and Stripes Challenge, or the Yokozuna Bodyslam Challenge as it may also be known. Many pro athletes, as well as several WWF superstars (including Bob Backlund, Crush, and Scott Steiner) attempted to bodyslam Yokozuna in front of hundreds of Americans aboard the USS Intrepid. Not even the Macho Man himself could do it. Just when all hope was lost, a real American came flying down in a helicopter. Someone with 24 inch pythons. Someone who trained every day, said his prayers, ate his vitamins, and believed in himself.

 Who were you expecting?

Who were you expecting?

Yeah, that’s right it’s Lex Luger. I guess Hulk Hogan was busy that day. Despite his heel tendencies, he was the last hope for America. After delivering a rousing speech that would make Bill Pullman proud, he stunned Yokozuna with his bionic elbow and bodyslammed him before he knew what hit him. Chalk another win up for America, boys. Does this mean Lex Luger’s turning babyface? We’ll soon see.

For our first match of the night, we get Blake Beverly emerging from the locker room, which at first seems like we could take this time to go get more snacks. But then who should appear as his challenger but the “1-2-3” Kid, complete with a brand new outfit and entrance music. The crowd is on their feet and the Kid is soaking in every second of it as he gives out high fives and hugs and even shakes the hands of the announce team when they offer it. Absolutely everyone loves the Kid. What’s cool is that he backs up the underdog story with actually being a technically proficient wrestler who has tons of aerial maneuvers in his repertoire. Right out of the gate he hits Beverly with what might be the first enziguri on Raw. Beverly quickly takes over though with his weight and strength advantage over the much smaller Kid and runs him ragged. Just when it looks like the Kid may have been a flash in the pan though, he manages a come back and hits a huge top rope leg drop into a pin for the 1-2-3. The Kid is easily my new favorite wrestler. I can’t wait to see what else he can do.

 Just look how jazzed everyone is. I love it.

Just look how jazzed everyone is. I love it.

Next up is Bam Bam Bigelow, accompanied by Luna Vachon, against Joey Maggs. The match lasts about as long as it took to read this paragraph. What was the point?

Well maybe it’s because we needed more time for this next match between Headshrinker Samu and (finally returning) the Undertaker. Conspicuous by his absence though is Paul Bearer and the urn that was stolen by Mr. Hughes. However, rather than weakening the Undertaker, he actually seems to be even more powerful. At several instances during the match, the commentary team makes note that he’s hitting moves they’ve never seen him do before. I wonder if the urn was actually keeping the Undertaker from his full potential. I’ll be curious to see if this was just the announcers having a flair for the dramatic or if it will actually be woven into the story. One other thing I noticed: the crowd does what I believe is the first instance on Raw of the classic wrestling chant/cadence: (Un-der Take-er *clap* *clap* *clapclapclap*).

 He looks positively vital.

He looks positively vital.

After the Undertaker lays Samu to rest, Vince comes out for yet another Yokozuna/Mr. Fuji interview. This has occurred on four out of the last five episodes. It’s always the same and it always sucks. This one ends when Crush comes out to challenge Yokozuna for the heavyweight title. God, I want someone else to have the title so bad. I’m sick of Yokozuna and I can’t understand Mr. Fuji half the time either.

The final match of the night is Mr. Perfect VS some doofus and whoops it’s already over. Why did we get two separate minute long matches in one episode? It’s a weird choice, but if every episode they do that also has a “1-2-3” Kid match and an Undertaker match, I can deal with it.

 "I got a paycheck just for showing up!"

"I got a paycheck just for showing up!"