Episode 19 - May 31, 1993: These Colors Don’t Run Wild On You

Happy Memorial Day from Hacksaw Jim Duggan!

HOOOOOO!!! USA! USA! USA!

Our first match of the evening has Marty Jannetty, accompanied by Sensational Sherri, squaring off against Bam Bam Bigelow, accompanied by Luna Vachon. I don’t think that Jannetty and Bam Bam have any sort of feud going, but rather it seems that they’re acting as surrogates for their respective lady friends. I don’t know why they don’t just have the women wrestle while the men rip each other’s clothes off. Anyway despite my low expectations for this one, it seems that Jannetty is such a good wrestler that he brings out the best in his opponent and so this match is actually great. Jannetty wins by countout after Bam Bam gets distracted by Sherri while outside the ring. After the match, Sherri picks up a mic to call out Luna Vachon, but Bam Bam sneaks up behind Sherri and grabs her, which allows Luna to freely attack her. Luckily she’s saved by her knight in shining armor, Tatanka. Wait, Tatanka? What happened to Marty Jannetty? Get outta here, Tatanka! Get your own storyline!

 Keeping the Memorial Day theme going with an Iwo Jima reference.

Keeping the Memorial Day theme going with an Iwo Jima reference.

Let’s cool off now with a good old fashioned Steiner Brothers beat down on some ham-and-eggers, as Bobby “The Brain” Heenan would call the unfortunate jobbers in this match. The Executioner and Rich Myers don’t do much, but they do get their butts kicked very well, which is really all we’re asking for at the end of the day. The Steiners probably have a hundred pounds each on both of these guys so they’re never in any danger of losing. The Steiners use jobbers like artists use the canvas.

 This is certainly Rich Myers's "Blue Period".

This is certainly Rich Myers's "Blue Period".

It’s around this point that Hacksaw comes out to lead the crowd in reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. It’s weirdly sincere and the crowd goes along with it enthusiastically.

 Or maybe everyone's just getting heart burn at the same time.

Or maybe everyone's just getting heart burn at the same time.

Afterwards we get the still un-pushed Mr. Hughes VS Bert Centeno. I wonder if we’ll ever get a reason to care about Mr. Hughes. Giving him a microphone and letting him cut a promo or two might do wonders for him, but so far they’ve decided against doing that. And speaking of giving mics to jobbers, we get a pre-taped promo from the “1-2-3” Kid, who lets us know that he’s turning down Razor Ramon’s offer of now $5,000 to get back in the ring with him. The “1-2-3” Kid isn’t a dummy. He knows he’ll get torn to pieces if he gets back in the ring. In the meantime, Razor Ramon takes on Tony Roy, but nearly loses twice when he gets distracted by Macho Man leading the crowd in chanting “1-2-3” and later “We want the Kid”. I love this angle. Not only does it get the Kid over, it gives Ramon a chink in his armor. Suddenly he’s not the calm and cool Razor Ramon we knew. Now we know his kryptonite is being made to look foolish or weak.

 Who's insecure? "Me Me Me Me Me!"

Who's insecure? "Me Me Me Me Me!"

Finally, we bookend the episode with another appearance by Hacksaw Jim Duggan who comes out to confront Yokozuna. This showdown is obviously supposed to be about getting people hyped for the upcoming Yokozuna/Hulk Hogan match at King of the Ring, but it seems that Hulkamania has finally started running mild as the crowd begins chanting “Hogan Sucks”. Sorry, Hulkster. The patriotism of wrestling fans only extends so far.