Episode 12 - April 11, 1993: Money Inc. is the Root of All Evil

Our episode today starts with a vignette featuring the Beverly Brothers apparently teaming up with Money Inc. to get back at the Steiner Brothers for humiliating them on the last episode. Having the Beverlys starting a feud would go a long way to making me care about them so hopefully this storyline plays out. So far all the “storylines” have lasted about 2 episodes each before running out of steam (Flair/Perfect and Mega-Maniacs/Money Inc. come readily to mind). I’d love a feud with legs to give me something to care about from week to week, especially since Bartlett seems to be back.

 The Beverly Brothers can afford shirts now!

The Beverly Brothers can afford shirts now!

The first match of the night promises to be a good one when we see Scott Steiner enter the ring to square off against IRS in a singles match, but of course both partners aren’t far away, ready to jump in at a moment’s notice. Good thing too because the match is fast and furious and Scott finds himself thrown out of the ring and straight into a Ted DiBiase clothesline. Rick leaps in to defend his brother, but Ted rips off his tear-away champagne-colored tuxedo to reveal he’s in his trunks and ready to wrestle. Side note: I imagine the tuxedo is not designed to be tear-away, but the Million Dollar Man is so rich that he just doesn’t care. The Steiner Brothers manage to rally and just as they are about to win, the Beverly Brothers show up to Pearl Harbor them, but their attack backfires when the Steiners duck out of the way leaving Money Inc. to take the full brunt of the sneak attack. As the ref ejects everyone from the ring, the Beverly Brothers and Money Inc. can be seen arguing all the way back to the locker room. Wow, now THIS has the makings of a great feud. Come on, WWF! Don’t let me down!

A picture just doesn't do it justice.

Tatanka’s up next, which means our 2nd match is off to a promising start until his opponent turns out to be some random heel jobber named Von Krus. Oh well you can’t win ‘em all. Unless you’re Tatanka of course because they never give him a real challenge. I have to hand it to Von Krus though: he does a good job of taunting his opponent and actually giving us a reason to root for Tatanka other than “we’re supposed to”.

We’re then treated to an interview conducted by Rob Bartlett featuring Luna Vachon who seems super crazy, which is great. She was first introduced at the recent Wrestlemania 9 where she was the valet for Shawn Michaels before beating the pulp out of Sensational Sherri. Luna’s interview consists of screaming about kicking Sherri’s butt, and so of course Sensational Sherri is obliged to emerge from the locker room to confront Luna. At this point the interview becomes a wild catfight between the two women, but really it’s just an excuse to have them rip off each others’ clothes. With skin exposed and body parts jiggling all over, this absolutely feels like a precursor to the Attitude era that isn’t far away. The difference between this and the modern day Women’s Division is insane.

 Cool, the WWF finally has some role models for young girls!

Cool, the WWF finally has some role models for young girls!

 Oh. Nevermind.

Oh. Nevermind.

The next 2 matches are barely even worth mentioning after the beefy episode we’ve already had to this point. The first one is Papa Shango VS Scott Taylor. It’s over in like, 2 minutes. I have to wonder if people would have cared more about Papa Shango if he had been given more actual opponents. After that we get my vote for worst match ever between Chris Duffy and a new character named Friar Ferguson. Worst. Wrestler. Ever. Apart from his stupid Friar Tuck gimmick, the guy can’t even wrestle well and his finisher is just a repackaged Banzai Drop. It really makes me wonder how long they’re going to try to push him. After this match, I’ve already seen more than enough. Let’s hope that the Steiners, Money Inc., and the Beverly Brothers return next episode to kick things back into high gear.

 After suffering through his debut match, I need a drink too.

After suffering through his debut match, I need a drink too.